The Ranch (26 page)

“It's a godsend for me too.” She thought of the light on the mountains that morning when Sam had called to tell her Quinn Morrison had died. She told Mary Stuart about it, as they sat at the narrow counter in the kitchen alcove, and sipped their coffee.

“It must be depressing work,” Mary Stuart said quietly. “I admire you for it, but you just can't win.” She thought of how awful it had been when Todd had died, she couldn't imagine dealing with that every day. But then again, he had been her son, not her patient.

“You can win for a while. And oddly enough, it's not depressing most of the time. You learn to take the little victories, you get more and more determined to win the fight. And sometimes you lose.” She lost a lot of the time, it was inevitable. But some of it had to do with the circumstances, and how ready the patient and the family were to let go. Sometimes it was just time, like with Quinn. It was the children she hated to lose most, and the young people, the ones who had so much left to live and to learn and to give. Like herself. But she hadn't absorbed that yet.

“You're lucky you found the right path for yourself so long ago,” Mary Stuart said, envying her, and enjoying her company. It was easy to remember why they had been such good friends. The rift seemed so unimportant now. In the sunlight of honesty, it had finally vanished. “I do a lot of charity work in New York, a lot of committees and volunteer work, but I've been thinking of getting a job. I just don't know what I'd do. All I've ever really done is be a wife, and mother to our kids.”

“That's not bad.” Zoe smiled at her, suddenly realizing how much she'd missed her. And in the unexpected twilight of her life, she realized how much she needed her friends now. It was all the more poignant for her because she had always thought she would have so much time, and now she didn't. “Being a wife and mother is a job too.”

“Well, in that case,” Mary Stuart said, setting down her mug, “I think my job is almost over. Alyssa is grown up. Todd is gone, I'm not even a wife to Bill anymore. We just live at the same address and my name is on his tax forms. Suddenly, I feel useless.”

“You're not. Maybe it's just time to move on.”

She was right, but the problem was to where. Mary Stuart had been doing a lot of thinking. “I keep looking for the answers, of what to do, where to live, what to tell Bill when he comes back. I don't even want to talk to him right now. But he doesn't want to talk to me either. He hardly ever calls. Maybe he's going through the same thing, and just doesn't want to say it. He must realize that it's all over.”

“Maybe you should ask him,” Zoe said, and looked at her watch, wondering when Tanya was going to get up, and then she glanced at Mary Stuart. “What time are we supposed to be at breakfast?”

“Eight o'clock, I think.” It was seven-thirty by then, and they had to dress, and then Mary Stuart looked at her old friend with a quizzical expression. “Are you leaving today?” Her voice was very gentle.

There was a long pause and then Zoe shook her head. “I'd rather not, unless you want me to. But it's up to you, you've come the greatest distance. If anyone leaves, I should.”

Mary Stuart smiled at her gently. “I want you to stay, Zoe, and I'd like to stay too. Let's put all that stuff behind us. We both loved Ellie, we all did. She would have wanted us all to be together. Of all of us, she was the most loving, the most giving, it would have broken her heart to know that we hadn't spoken for twenty-one years because of her.” It was true and they both knew it.

Zoe was frowning, thinking of her. “She deserves to have a broken heart, after what she did to all of us. I think I was so rotten to you at the time because I was so mad at her and there was no one to take it out on.”

“I went through the same thing with Todd. I was mad at everyone for the first six months, Alyssa, her friends, myself, the maid, the dog, Bill,” she said sadly, “and he still is mad. I think he always will be.”

“Maybe he's just stuck,” Zoe said kindly. “I was. I was mad for a long time, and when I got over it, you were gone, we had all gone our separate ways. You'd married Bill, I was in medical school, it seemed easier to let it slide, but I was wrong to do that. Maybe Bill is sliding too.” It was a fair assessment and Mary Stuart nodded.

“I think he slid right out the door a while back and I didn't notice.” She smiled and then looked at her watch again. It was twenty to eight and they had to get ready for breakfast. “What do you say we wake sleeping beauty?” They grinned at each other, and laughing all the way, they tiptoed to her room, and pounced on the huge bed, on either side of her. She was wearing a white satin nightgown and a sleep mask, and she acted as though she were being roused from the dead when they woke her.

“Oh, God… stop it… I hate you… stop that…” Zoe was tickling her feet, and Mary Stuart was hitting her with pillows. They were just like two kids, and Tanya was overwhelmed as she tried to hide beneath the covers and found she couldn't. “Will you stop it! Stop that! It's the middle of the night, for God's sake!” She had always hated getting up in the morning, and they always had to drag her out of bed so she wouldn't miss her morning classes.

“Take off your sleep mask,” Mary Stuart said. “Breakfast is in fifteen minutes, and the stuff on the desk says we have to be at the corral at eight forty-five to pick out our horses. Get your ass out of bed and get ready.” She sounded totally in charge, and Zoe was dragging her out of bed by one arm, as Tanya took off her mask and looked from one to the other.

“Did I hear you say you were going to the corral? Does this mean you're staying?”

“Apparently we have no choice,” Zoe said, letting go of her and glancing at Mary Stuart with a spark of mischief in her eye, “if we don't, you'll sleep the week away, and never get out of the room until dinner. We thought we'd stick around and keep you honest. We know how much you hate horses. Without us, you'd probably sit in your room all day, watching television from the Jacuzzi.”

“God, what a great idea.” Tanya grinned, proud of both of them, they had done it. After all these years, they'd come to their senses and restored their friendship. “Why don't you check back with me at lunchtime, I thought I'd give myself a facial.”

“Get your ass out of bed, Miss Thomas,” Mary Stuart barked at her. “You have exactly twelve minutes to brush your teeth, comb your hair, and get your clothes on.”

“Christ, what is this, the Marines? I knew I shouldn't have asked you two here. I could have brought
nice
people, who treat me
right
, and let me get a little sleep. I'm a very important person.”

“The hell you are,” Mary Stuart said with a broad grin, “now get out of that bed. You can take a shower later.”

“Great. Now I'm going to smell like the horses. Wait till that hits the tabloids.”

Both Mary Stuart and Zoe stood with their hands on their hips, as Tanya reluctantly got out of bed, stretching her long exquisite body with a yawn, and then groaned as she headed toward the bathroom.

“I'll get you a cup of coffee,” Zoe said as she headed back to the kitchen.

“Make it IV please, Doctor,” Tanya said as she turned the bathroom light on and groaned again when she saw her face and hair in the mirror. “Oh, God, I'm two hundred years old and look what I look like. Someone call a plastic surgeon.”

“You look great,” Mary Stuart laughed as she looked at her. She was so damn beautiful, and the funny thing was she had never really known it. Tanya thought she was plain, and the others always laughed at her for it. Mary Stuart knew she really believed it. “Look what I look like at eight
A.M.
, with no makeup.” Mary Stuart frowned at herself in the mirror. Her hair was brushed till it shone, her skin was still beautiful, and she had put on just a hint of pale pink lipstick. She was wearing a blue cotton men's shirt, and a pair of freshly pressed jeans, and a brand-new pair of brown lizard boots from Billy Martin's.

“Christ, look at you,” Tanya complained as she brushed her teeth and got toothpaste all over her nightgown. “You look like you just stepped out of
Vogue
.”

“She just does that to make us feel bad,” Zoe said as she handed Tanya a cup of coffee. They were used to her. Even in college, she had always looked perfect. It was just her style, and in fact they all liked it. She was an inspiration to the others, and always had been. And guys had loved it.

Zoe was wearing jeans with holes in the knees, a pair of cowboy boots she'd had for years, and a comfortable old beige sweater. Her dark red hair was pulled back, and she looked neat and casual and very much at ease in her surroundings. But both of them had to smile when they saw Tanya emerge from the bathroom five minutes later. Even with no makeup on, and having been dragged out of bed, she looked sensational. Tanya was simply a star, without even trying. Her thick blond hair did all the right things, as it cascaded past her shoulders. She hadn't had time to pull it back, and it looked as though she had planned it that way. She had a tight white T-shirt on, and it wasn't indecent in any way, but it was so sexy no man with eyes in his head would have been able to stand it, her jeans looked exactly the way they should, not too tight or too loose, they showed off all the right things, the tight roundness of her seat, the narrow hips, the small waist, the long graceful legs. She was wearing her old yellow boots, and there was a red bandanna tied around her neck, and she had on plain gold hoop earrings. She grabbed a denim jacket she'd brought, her cowboy hat, and a pair of sunglasses, and she looked like an ad for any dude ranch.

“If I didn't love you so much, I'd hate you,” Mary Stuart said admiringly, and Zoe grinned. They were all pretty women, but there was no denying, Tanya had something special.

“I've never figured out how you do that,” Zoe said, taking it all in, and feeling the same warm glow of affection for her as Mary Stuart. There had never been so much as an ounce of jealousy between them. Even years before, the four of them had been the best of friends, more than sisters. “I always thought if I watched you get dressed, I'd figure it out,” Zoe said as they left the room, “but it's like one of those magic tricks, where you can see it done four million times, and there's always that single moment when the rabbit appears, and you just never see it happen. You're the only person I know who can go into a bathroom and come out looking like a movie star three minutes later. I could spend a week in there, and I still come out looking the same, sort of okay, pretty decent, my hair is combed, my face is clean, my makeup is on straight, but it's still me. You come out looking like a fairy princess.”

“It's the miracle of plastic surgery.” Tanya grinned, enjoying their company, but not believing a word of it. But she thought they were sweet to say it. “If you get enough stuff fixed, you don't need makeup.”

“Bullshit,” Mary Stuart corrected her. “You looked like that at nineteen. You used to get up in the morning looking like a caterpillar, and by the time your feet hit the floor, you were a butterfly. I know exactly what Zoe means. You're just too insecure to understand it, and believe what you look like. That's why we all love you.”

“Hell, I thought it was my accent.” She still had the mildest of Southern drawls. Her fans particularly loved it when she was singing. “I can't believe I let you two get me out of bed at this hour. It can't be good for your health, especially in this altitude. I think it's bad for my heart actually,” Tanya complained as she huffed and puffed her way up a short hill to the main building.

“It's great for you,” Zoe said matter-of-factly with a grin at Mary Stuart, “and you'll be used to the altitude by tonight. Just don't have any booze to drink.”

“Why not?” Tanya looked surprised. She didn't drink much, but she just wondered.

“Because you'll get smashed on the first three sips and make an ass of yourself,” Zoe explained, laughing at her, and then reminded her of the time she had passed out after some dance, and they'd taken her home and she threw up all over Zoe's bed and Zoe almost killed her. Zoe and Mary Stuart were both laughing at her, and she managed to look sheepish twenty-plus years later, she was trying to tell them she'd had the flu, and Zoe was saying she'd been just plain drunk, as the three of them exploded into the dining room like a vision of beauty.

There were people at long tables around the room, and helping themselves at the buffet, and everyone looked sleepy and subdued, except for a few guests here and there who looked more animated, and were clearly morning people. There was a rumor that Tanya Thomas was at the hotel, but no one was prepared for what she actually looked like. And laughing with her friends, Tanya looked so relaxed and so young, and so incredibly beautiful that everyone stopped and stared, and Zoe suddenly felt sorry for her. Her two friends closed ranks on her, and they took a table in the far corner. Mary Stuart sat with her, while Zoe went to get them some breakfast, but the whole room was suddenly staring and buzzing, and they both knew it wasn't easy for her.

“What do you think would happen if I suddenly stood up and mooned them?” Tanya whispered, she had her back to the room, and her dark glasses on. She had put her hat on the back of her chair, but even from the back she looked spectacular. She was every inch a star, and the whole world knew it.

“I think you'd make a big impression,” Mary Stuart answered her, and they chatted quietly until Zoe arrived with a plate of Danish and some bacon, and juggling three yogurts.

“I ordered scrambled eggs and oatmeal for all of us,” she said, and Tanya looked horrified.

“I'm going to have to go to the fat farm for six months after this. I can't eat all that crap for breakfast.”

“It's good for you,” Zoe said matter-of-factly. “You're adjusting to high altitude and you're going to be doing a lot of exercise. Eat a good breakfast. Doctor's orders.” She was taking the same advice herself, and Tanya helped herself to a yogurt.

“I am not planning to gain ten pounds while I'm here,” Tanya said staunchly, but she was hungrier than she thought, and a few minutes later, she helped herself to a Danish. Zoe had gone back to the buffet for more by then, and Tanya glanced at her with a grim look when she returned to the table. She knew without even looking what was happening all around her. “How bad is it?”