The Raven Series 2 (4 page)

Chapter 4

Zane was leaning one shoulder against the wall, his dark shirt stretched over his broad shoulders. His presence took up the entire room. “Have you come to a decision about TJ?”

A cool tingle skated across the nape of my neck. I forced my gaze to his eyes. Arctic blue, like a frozen tundra. “Hey to you too.” He wanted to know if I had decided to send away the only family I had here, or tell TJ the truth about everything. What I was. The danger we were in. Why Mom and Rose had been killed. Yada, yada, yada.

Unruly dark hair fell over his forehead as he tilted his head. “You called, remember?”

I swallowed. “Not intentional,” I said dryly. Apparently, thinking about Zane too keenly sent out a distress call. “I haven’t finished reading the instruction manual on being a banshee.”

“I guess we need to work on that.”

I twirled the pencil in my hand, seriously considering poking him with it. “What? Like training?”

He sauntered into the room. “Exactly like training.”

I bit my lip. “You and me?” An unhealthy amount of excitement entered my body at the prospect of seeing him on a daily basis. Zane was a total babe, but at times he could be a douchebag, which cancelled out his hotness.

Right now he was looking good. Too good.

His gaze dropped to my lips. “For part of it. You have a lot of catching up to do. There is more to being the White Raven than controlling your new abilities. You need to learn the laws and physics of being a reaper and the inner workings of the different sectors you govern.”

“Why does this sound a lot like school?”

He slid me a grin that did funny things to my belly. “Think of it as boot camp, and I’m one of your counselors.”

“Can’t wait,” I mumbled, doing everything in my power not to stare at his lips. “When is this so-called boot camp supposed to begin?”

The bed dipped as he took a seat beside me, careful to leave enough space between us so we weren’t touching. “If my father gets his way, now.”

My eyes widened. “Now?” I echoed. I got that time was of the essence, but we’d only buried Rose yesterday, and I wanted TJ off the island before things got really crazy. “I thought I would have a few more days to take care of some things.”

“So you decided to send TJ home?”

“Do you want me to tell you you’re right? Fine. You’re right. He needs to be as far away from here as possible.”

Thick sooty lashes fanned the tips of his angular cheeks. “It’s for the best.”

Yeah, but that didn’t mean it didn’t suck. I picked at a loose string on bedspread, keeping my eyes averted, before I found myself lost. “I guess.”

He turned his body so it was angled toward me, our thighs touching. “Piper, you’re doing the right thing. If he was my brother, he’d already be gone.”

It was hard to keep my emotions in check around Zane. I blamed our stupid souls. “Then why do I feel so horrible?”

“Because being a banshee doesn’t mean you’re heartless.” He moved a fraction of an inch closer, brushing his thumb against my chin. A jolt of electricity danced along my skin.

A strangled gasp escaped the back of my throat like one of those silly girls in movies. I swayed toward him. His lips tipped up on one side as he leaned toward me, his mouth inches from mine.
Holy sweet reaper babies… He’s going to kiss me.
My hands dug into the bed, clenching the sides of the covers as my eyes were drawn to his totally kissable lips. They were right there, and I inhaled his outdoorsy scent that was all around him.

My eyes fluttered closed, lips parting, and…

A soft knock sounded on my bedroom door. Zane and I separated like a submachine Uzi had gone off, and I regrettably broke my gaze from Zane’s to see Zander standing in the doorway.

Oh dear God, this should be interesting.

I wanted to crawl under the bed and die. Heat swept over my cheeks as the stretch of silence became too heavy. “Is someone going to say something?” I squeaked, feeling like an idiot, but the awkwardness was killing me.

Zander cleared his throat. “I wanted to come by and see how you were…” His eyes shifted from me to Zane. “But Zane beat me to it. I should have figured.” He shook his head. “You just can’t stay away.” With that said, Zander turned and left.

“Shit,” Zane swore under his breath.

For a stunned moment, I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t my intention to hurt Zander…or Zane. I jumped to my feet. “Zander,” I called. “Wait.”

It was the first time he’d shown any real emotion at seeing Zane and me together. I was bumbling this whole engagement, and as soon as I could think a coherent thought, I was going to find a way to fix this mess.

Zane or Zander?

I didn’t know what to do, which one to choose, which one to fight for. My heart? Or my duty?

The struggle was real. And I was never good at making decisions.

Until I did decide, it was probably best to keep the peace. This island was rocky enough as it was without me causing World War III.

I caught Zander in the hall, placing a hand on his bicep. I tried not to think about the power that was contained in that arm. “Hey.” I wasn’t sure he was going to turn around and look at me, but I sighed when I glanced up and saw his face.

His blue eyes had a slight purplish tint, and he was clean-shaven unlike the two-day stubble Zane was sporting. “You don’t have to explain. I know this isn’t what you want.”

My arm slowly fell away. It was sort of uncomfortable touching him. Actually, everything about this was weird. “That might be true. I don’t know what I want, but I’ve had my entire world flipped upside down. I’m trying to work through it.”

“We both are,” he stated. Shifting his weight to his other foot, he softened his tone. “I just think it might be easier if we work through it together.”

I couldn’t help but think it shouldn’t be this hard. It wasn’t with Zane, minus the moments he drove me utterly batty. My feelings for him came naturally, fierce and wild. Part of me wanted to scream this wasn’t fair, and the other part was tired and wanted to give in. I forced my expression blank. “Probably,” I agreed, unable to keep the aloofness from my voice. It was hard not to take my frustration out on Zander even though I knew it wasn’t his fault I was in this predicament.

His eyes shifted over my head, behind me, and I wondered what he was thinking, knowing Zane was still in my bedroom. “I didn’t just come by to see how you were doing.”

I lifted a brow.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out and get dinner some night.”

There was something almost too sweet about Zander. It made the guilt I was feeling heavier.
Figures I would fall for the bad brother instead of the nice guy.
“Oh,” I managed to clumsily utter.

The corner of his lips curved. “
Oh?
That’s all you’ve got?”

What did he expect? Not only had he caught me off guard, I wasn’t really in the “dating” mind frame. “Sure?” I replied.

“Look. We’ve got to start somewhere. I know this is awkward, but there’s no avoiding it.”

Touché. “You’re right. I’m not normally so flaky. I promise.”

“Really? Because I find that hard to believe.”

I stared blankly at him.

“I’m joking,” he laughed.

“Good, because I was seriously thinking about standing you up.”

The smile lines around his lips deepened. “You’re going to make a helluva banshee.”

I shrugged. “We’ll see. One day at a time.”

“We have a lot to talk about, but I want you to know I’m here. For whatever you need. A shoulder to cry on, a punching bag to hit, or someone to listen. I don’t want things to always be strained between us. It would be easier if we got along.”

“You’re right. It would be easier. I need a little time to figure things out—”

“Like Zane?” he interjected.

Dead air.

What did I say? No? I was a sucky liar, so what was the point? Denying I had feelings for Zane would make me look like a fool.

Zander frowned. “If you want things to be easier, try spending less time with my brother.”

Ouch
.

Just when I thought he was a softy at heart, he goes and zeros it out with a comment like that. Made my kitty claws want to come out. It could be he was testing me to see if I would automatically jump to Zane’s defense. Truth be told, it was exactly what I wanted to do, but I bit my tongue, which took effort. “I’ll take it under consideration,” I said.

He nodded, and with one last glance down the hall toward my open bedroom door, Zander left. If every confrontation with him was going to end like this, we were doomed. Even in the ground and Rose was causing me strife. I slumped against the wall as a pang hit me in the temples. These migraines recently plaguing me were only getting worse.

Shoulders heavy with responsibility, I kicked off the wall and headed back into my room. Zane was sprawled out on my bed with his hands linked behind his head, staring at the ceiling. Wisps of dark curls lay over the lines of thought creasing his forehead.

“You lied,” he said as I plopped down on the window seat.

I glared at him, tucking my legs underneath me. Don’t tell me he was going to start harping on me too. “What about?” Not that I really cared all that much.

He turned on his side, propping his head on his hand. “You’re not okay. I can feel the tangle of emotions you’re trying to hide.”

Uncertainty. Fear. Sadness. Anger. Lots of anger.

Yep. They were all there inside me.

I hugged my legs to my chest, resting my chin on my knees. “So, what if I did? Things are already messy.” My emotions wouldn’t be a jumble if I didn’t want to attack him with my mouth every time I saw him.

“And about to get messier.” The words came out of Zane’s mouth like ice.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re going to have to be more careful, especially now that you’re expected to hone your powers. There’s no one to guide you. Many of the elders have the basic knowledge of your skills, but not the full extent. Your training will test the symmetry of our souls, which is a problem. A big problem.”

“Do I even want to know why?” I mumbled.

Sitting up, he swung his long legs over the side of the bed, which he made look all too inviting. The seriousness of his expression told me I should get my head out of the gutter and stop thinking about him on my sheets.

“With the upheaval of rogue reapers and increase of hallows, the last thing we need is for the monarchy to crumble,” he said. “There is an order that needs to be followed, one that’s been in place for centuries. Your marriage to Zander, Death’s firstborn, solidifies the monarchy’s lineage.” Death was the sector overlord for the Black Crows. That much I understood, but there were so many rules I didn’t begin to comprehend. “If anyone outside of my family found out what you were to me…” His voice smoothly trailed off.

Most days I didn’t know what I was to him, but I got what he was implying—mostly. There were still a million questions. “It would be bad,” I supplied.

“Bad doesn’t begin to cover it, princess. If you thought your life was in danger before, it would be Hell on Earth if the other sectors found out our souls resonate. They would take advantage of what they saw as a chance for new management. We need to be careful. No accidently merging souls.”

Duly noted.

The thing was, I didn’t know how to do it, so not doing it should be pretty simple. Excellent logic. But what I really wanted to know was where did we stand? I wanted him to give me a sign of hope, something worthy of risking everything for. I fiddled with the mark on my wrist, tracing it with my fingernail. “Can I ask you something?”

“Depends,” he replied coolly.

“Do you feel any…different when you’re around me?”

A half smile played across his lips. “You mean do I still want to lock you up in a tower for all eternity?”

“Zane,” I sighed. “You know what I mean.”

He ran his hands through his hair. “It doesn’t matter if we’re together or apart. Since the day you came to Raven Hallow I’ve felt different. A cool tingle starts at the base of my neck, and the shadows I manipulate quiver. The closer you are to me, the more intense it becomes. Is that what you mean?”

Gulp.

Yeah. And then some. “Glad it’s not just me. Does your mark ever—?”

“Feel like it is going come alive and fly off my wrist,” he finished. “Whenever you’re near.”

Heat swamped my cheeks, and I totally blamed Zane. It was hard to stick to my resolve of duty first when he was actually nice…and charming…and so good-looking. “Is there no other way? Is my only option really to marry Zander?”

One second he was sitting on my bed and the next he was beside me, eyes frosted. “What you want and what I want doesn’t matter. You’re no good to me or to any of us if you’re dead. So yes, your only option is to marry my brother.”

Hope shattered.

There was anger in his expression, but was it directed at me or the injustice of our bleak situation?