The Ravine (14 page)

Carolyn heard Mitch talking with someone downstairs and woke up. She lay in bed for a few minutes trying to remember Tuesday’s phone call with Rachel, when it dawned on her that two of Rachel’s messages were still on the answering machine. She and Rachel had spoken once but then missed each other’s calls throughout the day.
What a gift
, she thought.
I can go downstairs and hear her voice!
She pretended for a moment that if the messages were still on the machine, all this horror would be undone, just like in the movies.

Why couldn’t life be like her and Rachel’s favorite movie,
The Wizard of Oz?
After facing the terrifying flying monkeys, creepy munchkins, wicked witch, and intimidating wizard who turned out to be a harmless old man who couldn’t even help her get back to Kansas, all Dorothy needed to do was slip on a pair of ruby-red slippers, click them three times, and
poof
, there she was, back home where all was well. Whenever they watched it, by the time the final black-and-white part came on, Rachel and Carolyn would be scrunched on the couch together, handing each other tissues and bawling their eyes out. But this wasn’t a nightmare from which she could awake; it was all too real.

The boys were still sleeping on the floor, so she quietly got up, threw on her robe, and tiptoed down the steps. She ran over to the answering machine without even noticing that Mitch was sitting in the family room. He started to say something, but Carolyn interrupted, “Not now, I just realized I have Rachel’s messages on the machine!”

After fast-forwarding through three messages, she finally heard Rachel’s voice: “Carolyn?” Rachel said in a lilting tone. “Hey, sweetie, it’s Rachel. What are you up to? I’m calling you back and wanted to let you know that I’m going up to Cleveland today. We’re getting nasty rain and I was wondering if it was raining up there, too. I want to know which coat to wear. Anyway, just give me a call when you have a minute. Love you, girlfriend. Bye.”

On Tuesday, when she’d gotten the message, Carolyn was surprised and happy to hear Rachel would be in the Cleveland area, and thought she’d have a chance to spend time with her. But when she called Rachel back and invited her to dinner, it turned out she was only going to be in town long enough to take an exam for a job she had recently accepted. She wanted to get back home early so she could be ready to start the new job in the morning. The real estate broker she would be working for had assured her that if she passed the exam, the job would be hers. She still had her license, but this chain required all new employees to pass its test.

Rachel had been out of the workforce for a while, and she always said tests made her nervous, so she’d been studying quite a bit. Still, she was fretting over having to take the exam and called Carolyn while she was sitting in the reception area, waiting to be called in.

“You’ll do great,” Carolyn said. “You studied hard and you understand the material. You’ll ace it, I’m sure!”

Carolyn reminded Rachel of all the things she had accomplished over the years, and how she had taken to real estate like a duck to water years before, and that, since she had studied and was prepared, she should just relax and expect to do well.

Rachel called and left another message while she was driving home. Carolyn’s prediction had turned out to be correct.

“Carolyn! I’m thrilled! I passed the exam! I’ll try you on your cell phone. If not, thanks for the pep talk. I really appreciate it. You don’t know how helpful it was to hear all that right before I went in. So, anyway, I’ll talk to you soon. Let’s try to get together this weekend. Bye.”

Listening to the message now, Carolyn regretted not calling Rachel back right away after hearing the good news about the exam. It brought up a whole bunch of other “what ifs.” What if she’d taken Rachel to dinner to celebrate after the exam and then insisted she stay overnight to avoid the dark, rainy drive back? Surely Rachel would still be alive. She could have saved Rachel’s life.

Why had she been so caught up in her own life that she hadn’t taken the time to see her friend? She knew this was irrational thinking, but that didn’t make her feel any less guilty. She couldn’t have known what was going to happen Tuesday night. If she had, she would have hijacked Rachel’s car and brought her home. But life doesn’t work that way. True, Rachel had refused Carolyn’s offer to get together, but hearing Rachel’s voice on the answering machine, Carolyn simply couldn’t stop wondering what else she might have done that would have changed everything.

But these meanderings were pointless. It wasn’t as if Rachel had died in a car crash, leaving one to muse about how unfortunate it was she took the road with the black ice rather than a dry road. This wasn’t happenstance, but a whole other level of tragedy. There was a predator waiting for her in her home, and, for whatever reasons, he was apparently intent upon killing her. Perhaps, if she hadn’t gone home that night, whatever it was that made Danny do what he did would have passed, but Carolyn knew this was just wishful thinking.

In just a few hours, however, the truth would begin to unravel and the layers of deceit would be revealed. And the loathsomeness of this crime would be undeniable.

They were silent until they turned onto I-271 to head down to Akron. Something about the sign with that name gleaming on it filled both of them with immense sadness. This was usually a joyful trip for a birthday celebration, a sporting event, one of the holidays, or just a casual lunch or dinner. Carolyn gripped the armrest and stared out the window, hypnotized by the mileage markers zipping by. She had never felt so helpless or so sad in her life, but she felt cried-out, without a tear left to shed.

“I think,” she said, “I’d like to be doing just about anything else today than going down to Akron to meet with a homicide detective to learn all the details. I don’t know if I can handle it, Mitch.”

“I know, but in a weird way, I think we’ll feel a little better just knowing the facts. There must have been a reason Danny would do something like this. I never even heard him mention having a gun, and he loved the boys so much. None of it makes sense. Something must have happened.”

Carolyn couldn’t talk about it anymore. She didn’t understand why Mitch wanted to know the details. How would that help? She wanted to
be angry at someone, but other than Danny, she didn’t know whom to be angry at. It was all too new; it didn’t seem real and at times it almost wasn’t—and then it would come flooding back. She tried to preoccupy her mind with the things she had to do for her friend that day.

The burden of making most of the arrangements had fallen to Maryann, who was barely more than a kid herself, at twenty-two, and so she had asked Carolyn to help her prepare for the funerals. Today was Thursday; they had decided not to hold a wake, and both the funeral service and the burials were planned for Monday.

It was strange enough to be burying her best friend, but to think about burying her friend
and
her child (to say nothing of Danny, who was, after all, a friend for most of her life) was just bizarre beyond comprehension. However, Carolyn felt an odd comfort in being useful in some way. She knew Rachel would be there for her if the roles were reversed.
What would Rachel like to wear?
she wondered?
Oh, no! What a stupid thought! Oh, Rach, if only you were here. What a laugh you would get out of me sitting here trying to figure out what you’d “like” to wear to your funeral. You’d probably say, “I’m dead, girlfriend! I don’t give a damn what I’m wearing!”
She couldn’t laugh for fear of crying.

She glanced over at Mitch. He was concentrating on driving and she could tell he was trying to figure things out by the knit of his brow. Her husband. The father of her children. The person who shared her bed, burdens, and joys. How she loved and trusted him.

How awful to think that Rachel and her child were set upon by the man who should have been the protector of the family. Did he kiss her goodnight? Did he tuck the boys in? Did he lock the doors to make sure they were safe? What was it that sealed their fate? She wished she could stop these thoughts from rolling over and over, and concentrate on the tasks at hand.

Her reverie was broken when Mitch brought up the subject of the eulogy and his dream again. “Honey, I’m telling you that it was so real.
Like she was right there. She told me to convince you to do it, and that she would be there with you.”

“Oh, Mitch, we’re both starting to imagine things. It was just a dream. I don’t think I could say more than a few sentences before I’d start to cry all over the place, and make a fool of myself, and make everyone feel really uncomfortable.”

“I’m sure you would get through it. I know her spirit will be standing with you, and I know she wants you to do this.”

“Well, it’s probably a moot point, anyway, because someone else in her family will want to do it, or maybe the pastor will just say a few words, so I don’t think it would be right to bring it up. If they want me to do it, then I’ll consider it, but don’t volunteer me.”

“I’ll bet that once I tell them about the dre—”

“Tell them about the dream? Don’t do that! It was just a dream!”

They needed to have a little spat, just to try to talk about something else, though there was no escaping “it.” Mitch stewed a little, and felt like he was letting Rachel down; then, a few minutes later, Carolyn tenderly ran the back of her fingers along his cheek and said, “Don’t worry, we’ll know what to do when the time comes. I just can’t think straight.”

They left the interstate and headed toward a side road. The most direct route to Tom and Anna Schroeder’s house would have taken them past Danny and Rachel’s, but they went out of their way to avoid Caves Road. They both felt a mixture of dread and anticipation once they saw the sign for the road that led to the Schroeders’ house.

In a few minutes they would be introduced to the detective assigned to the case. Normally such a meeting with the family would have taken place at the police station, but, because of the media presence camped out at all the logical locations, it was agreed to meet somewhere private.
All Mitch knew was that the homicide detective was named Thompson, and that Tom Schroeder knew him because their kids once played on the same basketball team. When Thompson had interviewed Tom about the discovery of the bodies, he had asked Tom to allow the family to meet at his house, and of course he had agreed. Maryann would be attending with Rachel’s younger brothers, Pete and Sam, and she had asked Carolyn to come for moral support.

Before leaving the house that morning, Mitch had gotten a call from someone at his office, who had told him he heard a new report that Danny actually hadn’t shot Rachel and Evan, but had stabbed them, and that he had committed suicide by shooting himself, even though he was found at the bottom of a ravine. That all sounded too bizarre, so Tom had put it out of his mind. He purposely hadn’t turned on the TV at home or the radio in the car, because he didn’t want Carolyn to hear these wild rumors. He always wondered how people got through these things when he saw them reported on the local news, but he had no idea how treacherous gossip and rumors were until now, when he was on the other side of it. He was determined to learn the facts, so if there was anything he could do to help the family, he could do it.

Mitch and Carolyn were both overcome with a queasy feeling when they parked behind a black cruiser and noticed the decal on the back window that read “Homicide Investigation Unit.” Mitch took a deep breath and said, “
Homicide
. What an awful word.” Carolyn glanced at it and looked away. Something about the car lent a horrible finality to the situation.

A brisk November wind greeted them as they headed up the driveway clutching their open coats. Tom Schroeder was standing at the door greeting Maryann, along with Rachel’s brothers, Pete and Sam. When he saw Mitch and Carolyn he waved to them to come in out of the cold. They all huddled in the hallway and engaged in introductions and
reunions, each coping with his personal grief, and privately mortified he might inadvertently say something inappropriate to the occasion.