The Real Katie Lavender (53 page)

Stirling watched her walk away, her movements as fluid and distinct as ever. In recent weeks, every so often he would catch a glimpse of a woman he didn’t really know – a refreshingly honest and vulnerable Gina – and then, just as she had now, the old Gina surfaced and took over, her hand firmly on the tiller of her emotions once more.

As he’d explained to his mother, he still loved Gina, he just wasn’t in love with her. He’d never set out to hurt her, but he had, and that was why he was trying to make everything as easy as he could for their divorce. To his surprise and relief, she was making things easy for him too. She had told him that so long as he played it straight, she didn’t want to fight him. ‘What’s the point?’ she had said. ‘I don’t want us to end up hating each other. But I do know I can’t stay married to you. Not now. Not after Simone. I still don’t understand how you did that, and doubt I ever will. What I do understand, and accept, is that for you to do that, I had already lost you.’

At Pen’s suggestion, Stirling had recently met up with Simone at The Meadows. ‘You both need to talk face to face about what happened,’ she had said. ‘Unfinished business is what they call it, I believe.’ What an extraordinary woman Pen was. Some would say she was too forgiving for her own good, but he disagreed; the world needed more people like her. She had been right, of course. Talking to Simone over a cup of coffee in Pen’s kitchen had given them both the chance to explain what they’d done and the reasons why. They had gone to the churchyard at St Oswald’s afterwards and apologized to Neil; neither of them believed for a single second that he was there, but it felt symbolic. And apposite.

For the last two months Stirling had been renting a two-bedroom apartment in the same building as Rosco’s girlfriend. He had settled in well to his new pared-back lifestyle and had been invited several times now to join Rosco and Laura for dinner at Laura’s. She reminded him a little of Katie, in that she was practical and cut straight to the chase. ‘Laura’s doing a fine job of smoothing away Rosco’s rough edges,’ Cecily had said to Stirling in church earlier that morning. ‘Let’s hope he has the sense to realize that she’s a keeper.’ Stirling hoped so too. He wanted Rosco to be happy. But then he wanted everyone to be happy.

Across the room he heard John, Charlie’s father, say, ‘Come on, everyone, nice and close. That’s it. Move in a bit there, Rosco. That’s it. Perfect.’ At the centre of a group photograph was Cecily with her great-granddaughter in her arms. Gathered around her were Scarlet and Charlie, Rosco and Laura and Lloyd and Katie. ‘Smile!’ John instructed them.

And everyone did. Stirling might have been imagining it, but even Louisa-May, her tiny hands flexing in the air, seemed to manage a perky little grin.

‘It feels almost cold enough to snow,’ Katie said when they left the party and got into Lloyd’s car.

‘Snow would be good. Mind you, a white-out blizzard would be even better. It would mean you definitely wouldn’t be able to leave tomorrow morning.’

Katie looked at Lloyd but she didn’t say anything. Neither of them liked it when she had to go back to Brighton. She used to leave on a Sunday evening, but then they slipped into the routine of her staying the extra night and getting up early the next morning so she could arrive in time for her ten o’clock lecture.

‘What?’ he said. ‘You don’t fancy the idea of being snowed in with me?’

She smiled. ‘I like the idea too much.’

He smiled back at her. ‘Me too.’

‘Eyes on the road, mister, or we’ll end up in a hedge.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’

They’d only driven a short distance when his face turned serious and he said, ‘Do you mind if we stop off somewhere before going home?’

She liked it when he used the word
home
. ‘Of course not,’ she replied.

He parked the car and took her hand as they crossed the road to St Oswald’s. With the moon hidden by a cloud-filled sky, the churchyard was in total darkness and they had to pick their way carefully along the gravel path.

They stood beside Lloyd’s father’s grave; fresh flowers had been carefully arranged in a pot in front of the headstone. Katie knew that Pen came every week. She knew also that Lloyd didn’t. She had wondered this morning when Louisa-May’s christening had finished if he would want to visit the grave before going on to Willow Bank, but he hadn’t. He’d told her once before that he didn’t like it here, that he didn’t feel any real connection. But he was here now. With her. His grip on her hand tightened and she saw that his eyes were closed.

When he opened his eyes, he turned to face her; he took hold of the ends of her scarf and gently pulled her towards him. His arms around her, they stood very still. It wasn’t the time for words. Resting her cheek against the expensive soft wool of his coat – his father’s coat that Lloyd had kept, along with Neil’s treasured Patek Philippe watch – she reflected how dramatically their lives had changed in the last six months. Lloyd could never have predicted the way in which his father would die, and she certainly would never have foreseen the consequences of coming here to Sandiford.

She thought of the night in Brighton when she had been woken by the ringing of the doorbell, and how, when she had cautiously opened the door, she had found Cecily and Pen on the step. And then Stirling had appeared, followed by Lloyd. One look at Lloyd’s anxious face and his hands pushed deep into his pockets, his shoulders hunched, and her heart had all but bounced out of her ribcage. They had swarmed into her house like a SWAT team, leaving her in no doubt as to why they’d come, and that they wouldn’t leave until she had seen sense. ‘It’s not fair to do this to me when I’m half asleep and in my pyjamas,’ she had pleaded in vain, at the same time wanting to giggle at the absurdity of it all.

‘This is a take-no-hostages situation,’ Stirling had said. ‘I want you in my life as a daughter, a real daughter and properly recognized as such, and Lloyd wants you—’

‘I can speak for myself,’ Lloyd had interrupted, his blue eyes fixed on hers with that frank and questioning stare of his. But he didn’t speak, not until they were out in the garden, just the two of them. He had kissed her for the longest time, and when they’d finally parted, he’d said that he loved her. He’d looked as surprised to say the words as she was to hear them. Her chest had suddenly felt so tight she had struggled to breathe. ‘You’re not saying anything,’ he’d added.

‘I’m too shocked.’

‘That sounds bad.’

‘No, it’s good. Very good.’

‘That’s a relief. I thought I might have just messed up.’

Now, as the icy cold seeped through her coat, she pressed in closer to him.

‘I wish you’d had the chance to meet my father,’ he said quietly. ‘The man he really was.’

‘I wish I had as well, and that you’d met my parents.’

Another moment of silence passed, and then Lloyd tugged on her scarf. ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Let’s go home.’

That word again:
home
.

Changed out of their grown-up clothes – as Lloyd had referred to his seldom-worn suit and her dress – and lying on the sofa in front of the log fire, Katie lifted her head from Lloyd’s chest. He opened his eyes. ‘I thought you were asleep,’ she said.

He stroked her hair away from her face. ‘I was pretending. I was waiting for you to nod off, and then I was going to sneak outside and disable your car.’

‘Now why would you do a mean thing like that?’

‘Because I don’t want you to leave in the morning.’

‘But I have to go.’

‘Doesn’t mean I have to like it.’ He shifted her off him and stood up. ‘I’m hungry. Party food never satisfies. How does a chicken tikka masala sound to you.’

‘It sounds delicious. I’ll come and help you.’

‘I think I can manage to ring for a takeaway on my own.’

She affected a look of disappointment. ‘And there was me thinking my man was going to cook for me.’

‘And there was
your
man thinking he was going to strip you naked and make love to you in front of the fire whilst we waited for the food to arrive.’

‘Ooh, I like that idea.’

He shrugged. ‘Like I say, I was only thinking about it.’

‘We’ll see about that.’

An hour later, when the delivery man knocked on the door, Lloyd hurriedly pulled on his jeans and went out to the hall. Katie stayed where she was on the rug in front of the fire and covered her body with the throw from the sofa. How tempting it was to stay here for ever, just as Lloyd wanted, but she couldn’t. Not yet. She had to complete the garden design course she had started in Brighton; then in the summer, next year, when she had sat her exams, everything would change. She couldn’t wait.

The Meadows was being turned into a fully fledged business concern with Stirling and Pen at the helm, and she would be a part of it. In the spring, and for six months of the year, the garden would be open to the public every Friday and weekend. Planning permission had been granted and Eddie Tate was in the process of converting and extending the outhouses into a café. At Stirling’s suggestion, and with Pen’s full approval, Katie would be in charge of running a small on-site nursery so that visitors could buy plants just like the ones growing in the garden. Katie had had no idea, but the land adjoining The Meadows, to the left of the house, had always belonged to Lloyd’s family; they just had never had a use for it before. Now it would be where the nursery would be created, along with space for cars to park. As well as being in charge of the nursery, Katie would offer her services as a garden designer. She doubted she would earn as much as she had at Stella Media, but the happiness she felt at being a part of something new and exciting far outweighed the drop in salary. And who knew how things would progress?

Learning all that she could from Pen, she was soaking up in-depth horticultural knowledge fast. Any free time she had, she would spend poring over the books Pen had lent her. Tess and Ben and Zac kept saying they couldn’t recall seeing her so happy. ‘One part intellectually fulfilled and two parts carnally satisfied,’ Zac teased her. ‘It’s the perfect combo and makes for a very happy Katie.’

Out in the kitchen, Katie could hear Lloyd humming to himself as he put the delivered food into the oven to make sure that it would be hot. He detested lukewarm food; it was one of his pet hates.

Her thoughts returned to The Meadows, and in particular to Stirling, who had carried out hours of online research as to how other gardens that were open to the public operated. He was coming up with all sorts of ideas, such as offering guest-lecturer days and specially guided tours. He also wanted to use the garden to better promote Lloyd’s outdoor furniture.

Lloyd had always had a few pieces of his furniture on view at The Meadows – it was what his mother used on a daily basis – but Stirling wanted to give his new range more prominence, to showcase it properly. Lloyd wasn’t so enthusiastic. He said that a dramatic increase in orders would mean that he would be too stretched and he’d have to employ a third person in his workshop. He said he wasn’t convinced he wanted to do that; he was happy as things were. Katie liked that in him; that he was not only so content, but that he was fully at ease with what he had and who he was. In that respect, he reminded her of her father. Her
real
father. She didn’t mean that unkindly to Stirling, but Dad would always be Dad to her, and Stirling would always be Stirling. There was no ambiguity.

Which couldn’t be said of her relationship with Scarlet and Rosco. There was no hostility between them these days, but having been an only child all her life, it felt weird trying to think of them as her brother and sister. Genetically linked as she was to them, she had yet to detect anything of herself in either of them. Of the two, she found Scarlet the easier to get on with, but maybe that was because she knew it was Scarlet who had been the first to support Stirling and accept Katie as her half-sister.

‘Hey, who do you think you are, lying there on the floor in a wanton state of erotic undress when there’s food to be eaten?’

She turned to look at Lloyd as he stood in the doorway in only his jeans. Her heart lurched. The sight of his strong, beautifully defined body never failed to have an impact on her. There were moments, such as now, when she could look at him and be so overwhelmed by her feelings, she felt tearfully euphoric.

In the heat of the moment, back in June after she had read her mother’s letter, she had set out to find her biological father to discover who she really was. It hadn’t crossed her mind that she would end up falling in love as a result. But she had. And not just any old falling in love. This was the real thing. With absolute conviction she knew that she belonged with Lloyd. With his family, too.
Her
family, as he frequently reminded her.

She sat up. ‘I don’t know,’ she said, as he came towards her. ‘You tell me who you think I am.’

His blue eyes intense, he knelt on the rug in front of her. ‘That’s easy,’ he said with great solemnity and letting his warm lips touch hers lightly. ‘You’re the girl I love.’

She slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Six months ago, she had questioned who she was. Yet the answer had been staring her in the face all along: she was the same Katie Lavender she had always been.

Just infinitely happier now.

AN ORION EBOOK

First published in Great Britain in 2011 by Orion Books
This ebook first published in 2011 by Orion Books

Copyright © Erica James 2011

The right of Erica James to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.