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Authors: Jess Tami; Haines Angie; Dane Alexandra; Fox Ivy

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BOOK: The Real Werewives of Vampire County

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Lucien gave a long, slow grin. “All right. I’ll take her.”

My head hurt for a whole new reason. “Take me?” He couldn’t take me. I had a pack. I had a home.

Sensing my urge to bolt, Finnegan laid a hand on my shoulder. “It’s only temporary. We need someone to go undercover.”

I’d never been undercover.

Lucien drew too close for comfort. “I need a were to pose as my wife.”

“Hell, no.”

Finnegan continued as if I hadn’t said a word. “You two will be the newest couple to move into Eternal Life Estates.”

“I’d rather eat glass.”

Finnegan’s hand tightened on my shoulder. “You’ll be going to Malibu, McPhee. Haven’t you always wanted to see Malibu?”

“No.” I had everything I needed right here in the canyon.

“Nevertheless, your skills are required,” Lucien said. “We have a window of opportunity. A new couple was set to move into Eternal Life Estates. We’ve commandeered the house for the investigation. However, it will be tight. Mr. and Mrs. Duke are scheduled to arrive tomorrow evening.”

“You and Detective Mead will pose as the Dukes,” Finnegan said.

“Detective?” I stared at the vampire. “What are you, some sort of undead Columbo?”

Lucien grinned. “You could say that. I report to the Vampire Council.”

Lovely. Even if the man was some kind of an eternal cop, he couldn’t just drag me into this. “Aren’t there protocols? Rules?”

“Yes,” Finnegan growled. “Obey your pack master.”

Had he lost his mind? “In case you two haven’t noticed, I’m not the trophy wife type.”

“Lower the dagger,” Finnegan snapped.

Oh yeah. I hadn’t noticed I’d been waving my knife. I pulled it back and used it to clean a wedge of dirt out from under my ring fingernail.

This was ridiculous. How was I supposed to be a Sunny clone? He’d better not make me wear a girdle.

“You’re going to help Detective Mead sniff out Sunny’s murderer,” Finnegan said, by way of a rah-rah speech.

Fuck a duck.

“You’ll get the truth out of the were wives of Vampire County.”

As if I wanted to know.

“You’ll blend,” he insisted.

I snarfed out loud. Had he taken a look at me lately?

“We’ll get to the truth,” Finnegan continued, nodding to Lucien, “or else the pack has no choice... .”

“Wait,” I didn’t like the sound of that. “No choice in what?”

“We need closure by the full moon,” Finnegan said.

“Or?” There had to be an alternative. That was only three nights away.

“Or,” Lucien said, as if it were obvious, “your pack will avenge the death.”

Of course. We’d declare war on a county full of vampires. And if the rest of them were like this solid blond wall, we didn’t have a chance. It’d be suicide for pack pride. And I really didn’t want to die. Not for Sunny anyway.

“Okay.” I threw up my hands, remembered I was holding the knife, and sheathed it before Finnegan yelled at me again.

As if I was the one causing the problem.

“I’ll do it. I’ll be the good wife.” Ick. It even hurt to say the word. “We’ll start with Sunny’s old crowd. The Predators. We’ll learn the truth.”

“Good,” Finnegan said, a victorious glint in his beady little eyes.

“But I’m not wearing heels,” I added.

Lucien leaned in from behind, his breath tickling my ear. “You’ll have to do a lot more than that.”

CHAPTER 2

I
stared out the tinted glass of the Lincoln Town Car at the even darker night outside and wondered how on earth I was going to pull this off.

No. Don’t think that way.

My newly manicured fingers fiddled with the obnoxiously large diamond on my left ring finger. God. I didn’t even recognize my own hands. “I can do this,” I murmured to myself.

I didn’t have a choice.

A green road sign announced we were
Entering Malibu.
I smoothed the yellow baby doll dress over my knees. I had everything I needed to play the part.

Six coats of mascara? Check.

Bright red lipstick and matching strappy sandals? Check.

Model-worthy hair? I swear I used an entire bottle of Aqua Net.

We’d had only last night and today to prepare, but I’d been on tougher missions than this. I’d wrangled the truth from a bullheaded minotaur, I’d warned the pack about the Berserker Charge of 2010, and I’d scared the feathers off a flock of angry harpies.

Surely I could face a pack of trophy wives with names like Francine and Tia.

Lucien lounged comfortably opposite me, one arm stretched out over the seat back between us. He wore an Armani suit and seemed like a natural for this job and this neighborhood.

I didn’t know if that made me feel better or worse.

We had less than seventy-two hours to pull this off.

Just breathe.

Yeah, well maybe I could breathe if I didn’t have a girdle mashing my rib cage into my liver. I scrunched my shoulders and leaned forward, hoping for a measure of relief, but that only made me notice the reinforced toe of my panty hose peeking out from my red shoe. I’d tried to stuff the dark brown part under my toes, but it kept inching back.

Oh well, what kind of woman notices another woman’s shoes?

Lucien regarded me with a mixture of interest and distrust. From his piercing blue eyes to the blunt tips of his fingers, a cool power seemed to radiate from him. More than that, he was unapologetically male. A lick of desire slipped down my spine.

“Do you want to go over the plan again?” he asked.

“No.” We’d been over it a half dozen times. I knew my role. And I was willing to do anything, even wear panty hose, to do the job right. It was a matter of pride—for me and for the pack.

His smile was pure sin. “Then stop fidgeting.”

I shot him a dirty look. Oh please. “Let’s wrap you in a sausage casing and see how you fidget.”

The car bounced over a series of speed bumps at the entrance to Eternal Life Estates. We wound through streets lined with palm trees, past the kind of houses you saw on the cover of magazines at the grocery checkout. The landscaping was impeccable, the façades ornate, and the front lawns trimmed down to the last blade of grass.

At least the place looked deserted, except for, “What is that?” I thrust my head between the two front seats. A mass of shape shifters and vampires gathered in the road. As we neared, I could see that they had completely taken over a circle drive lit by torches in the ground.

Like an old-fashioned werewolf hunt.

I double-checked the twin knife holders I’d strapped to my thighs.

Lucien hissed. “I told them we did not want a welcome party on the first night.”

No kidding. “They might have figured out the truth about us.” I twisted around to face him. “Someone probably knows the Dukes.”

Lucien was oddly focused on my thighs.

“We’ll keep our cover.” His steely gaze met mine. “As long as you don’t blow it.”

“Thanks a lot. Nothing like a supportive partner to get the job done right.” This was why I liked working alone. “And stop staring at me like you want to bite me.”

Sure he looked like sex on wheels, but that didn’t mean I was going to serve myself up with a sprig of parsley between my teeth.

His lips parted. “I do want to bite you.”

“Do it and I stake you.”

Why hadn’t I brought a stake?

“Don’t worry, little werewolf,” he said, sending a shiver down my spine. “I’m always in control.” He held my gaze a second longer than he needed. “As for tonight, follow my lead. Remember, the less contact you have, the better.”

Maybe I could find a nice tree branch.

I nudged the hem of my dress to make sure I wasn’t giving any more free shows. “Anything else, your brood-i-ness?”

He cocked a grin. “You said you knew the plan.”

Oh sure. The plan: Keep quiet. Look pretty.
I need you until I don’t need you
.

I leveled a perfectly glossed fingernail at him. “Keep in mind that you picked me. I’m the best interrogator you have.”

He seemed amused at that. “Interrogator? Yes. Investigator? No.” His voice lowered a notch. “You do not handle the case. I do. You get them alone later and you question them. But for now, you don’t talk.”

“You’re an ass.”

He didn’t react. Stone-cold Luke this one was.

At least he knew what he was doing. According to what Finnegan had told me this afternoon, Lucien Mead was one of the Vampire Council’s top guys. They brought him in to handle tough cases like this—at least ones that could result in war. I had no problem following his lead—as long as he didn’t force it.

I wrangled halfway through the space between the two front seats to get a better look at the doom that lay straight ahead. Oh my God, they had mint tins.

“You are here to be pretty. You are here to be vapid.”

I slammed back into the seat next to him. “Oh yes. Like the time I was too busy painting my nails to wrestle down a banshee and force him to give up the rest of the murdering horde.”

“Heather—” Lucien leveled an icy gaze at me.

“Lay off the tall, blond, and frigid act. I’ve got enough problems.” I rubbed at my eyes, leaving a sparkly blue eye shadow streak on the back of my hand. Great, just great. I wiped it on the back of my dress where no one would see.

“Think before you act.” He planted a hand on the seat back behind me. “You are the only one who can learn the truth and prevent this war.”

Oh yeah. No pressure there.

He had this whole calm and collected investigator persona down pat. But I was an interrogator. And I was good at my job precisely because I was willing to do whatever it took.

Like pretend to sleep with a vampire.

“Drive casually,” Lucien said to the driver as we drew near the crowd.

“No problem, boss.” The ponytailed driver eased us between two party rental trucks.

“He’s staying in the car, right?” The guy looked like he should be working as a bouncer at a nightclub instead of driving a pair of pretend socialites. He also needed a shave.

The driver cocked his head toward me, silver rings piercing his right eyebrow and a black spike earring dangling from his left lobe. “
His
name is Vinny,” he drawled with an unmistakable New Jersey twang, “and you bet your ass I’m getting out.”

“Vinny is my daytime eyes and ears,” Lucien explained.

“Vinny would never even make it through a metal detector.”

“Oh yeah? Fine.” Vinny turned around and I about fell over as his hair shimmered from jet-black to white. Not only that, it shortened into a close-clipped haircut.

The scent of wood and grass filled the car. “What the—” I watched Vinny’s hands on the wheel age right in front of my eyes. His black T-shirt morphed into a silver suit jacket. His scraggly near-beard faded. By the time we parked, he looked like Jeeves the butler.

“Satisfied?” Vinny asked, with the same rough Jersey accent. Hardly. “What are you?”

The old butler grinned back at me. “I’m special.”

No kidding.

“Stop showing off,” Lucien said, as Vinny got out of the car to come open our door.

I didn’t know what to think—about Vinny or Lucien or this entire situation.

“One question,” I said, as we watched Vinny circle around the front.

I knew all about my role in this—and I had the lipstick on my teeth to prove it. But I sure as hell didn’t know what Lucien the super cop was up to—or what he wanted. What did the council care if the vampires slaughtered a pack of wolves?

Lucien closed his hand over mine as Vinny made a great show of standing by the door, preparing to open it. “Why are you two doing this?”

Lucien gave me a quick squeeze. “Because you’ll never set foot outside if you see the karaoke machine.”

“Call the guard, the vampire made a joke.”

“Heather”—he looked at me, really looked at me, for the first time—“I’m here because I want to know the truth,” he said, a determined slant to his jaw, “just like you.”

Vinny opened the door. Jazz piano music flooded in. From the middle of the street at ten o’clock at night. This was weirder than that coven of narcoleptic werebats we busted a while back.

Lucien stood outside the car, his hand extended to help me. His grip was firm and left no room to wrangle.

Deep breath. This was a special assignment, an important one that only I could do. I didn’t want to let my Alpha down.

Lucien took my hand once more, his grip cool and strong. “Relax. You’ll do great.”

“I know,” I said. I’d never been so plucked, sprayed, and manicured in my life. I’d fit in. We’d find the Predators. We’d get to the bottom of this.

A brunette with a heart-shaped face and a sleek red sundress sauntered toward us on ice pick heels. “Mitzy, Luke!” she exclaimed. “Look everybody, the Dukes have arrived!”

I turned to him. “Luke Duke? You’ve got to be kidding.”

He squeezed my hand. “Don’t talk.”

The waif-like woman stopped in front of us and smirked. “Nice earrings.”

My stomach lurched. There was nothing wrong with my red hoop earrings. I’d matched them to my shoes.

“I’m Francine Sharp,” she continued, as if she hadn’t just insulted me, “head of the welcoming committee.”

And a Predator. This was shaping up nicely.

Francine was also a werevulture from the smell of it. She fingered the gold locket at her neck, openly eyeing my fake husband.

“A pleasure,” Lucien said, kissing her delicate hand.

I waited for her reaction. Was she sleeping with dear departed Sunny’s husband? Or would she be open to Lucien’s attentions? I couldn’t wait to get her alone to ask.

Only she’d stopped eyeing him and had turned her sharp gaze on me.

A warm flush began in my stomach and heated me all the way up to my cheeks. Yes, I was being scrutinized. I’d prepared for that. But I didn’t like standing here being submissive.

I wanted to jump, holler, scream. Anything.

Instead I said, “That’s a pretty necklace.”

“It’s Bvlgari.”

“What?” I asked.

She pursed her lips together. “Exactly.”

I had the distinct impression I’d done something wrong, but I had no clue what. I mean, who names a necklace?

Lucien leaned close enough to whisper loving encouragement into my ear. “Keep your mouth shut.”

Too late.

I fought the urge to snarl.

The werevulture tilted her head. “Where are you from?”

I tried to think of somewhere both exotic and cosmopolitan. “East of here,” I said, mimicking Francine’s head tilt. “Las Vegas,” my mouth supplied before my brain could say
what?

I wanted to wince, sink into the ground, walk away, and make these people forget they’d ever met me. The entire crowd had stopped talking. For the first time, I noticed everyone surrounding us, staring at me.

I struggled to think of something both vapid and agreeable that would satisfy these trophy wives and their husbands. “I moved to Las Vegas to better myself. You know, to meet guys.”

Lucien groaned under his breath.

Oh, the poor vampire was suffering? Well, he could help me out here.

I’d been judged quite enough for one evening.

The air felt heavy as the wall of shifters closed us in. I wanted to bolt. I didn’t like crowds, or attention, not to mention being hemmed in on all sides. But I stood my ground. I was a wolf on a mission, even if that meant I was alone in a crowd, teetering on shoes no woman should be forced to wear, holding a purse that could fit a gumdrop.

He’d asked for inane. What else did he expect from a werewolf who’d just had half of her eyebrows yanked out of her head?

He gripped me. Tight. “Now Mitzy, that’s not exactly how we met.”

“Yeah?” I asked, heart speeding up. “Why don’t you tell the story?” Or why didn’t he just let me out of here?

BOOK: The Real Werewives of Vampire County

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