The Realest Ever (37 page)

He
sneered at her before spitting his worst venom.  “You chose to get on that dope, Kyra.  You remember that shit?”

Kyra shook
his comments off easily.  She knew who she was then, and she knew who she was now.  “You’re right.  And when I was high, they wouldn’t let me have my kids.  I got clean, and they gave them back to me.  You gotta do the same thing, Leonard.  You can start by showing me your arms right now.”

He looked like he wanted to punch her.  Instead he
said, “Man, fuck you.  I ain’t gotta show you shit.”

Kyra shook her head and walked
away with a grin.  “I guess I’ll see you in court then.”

Her
spirits were high when she returned to her room.  It upset Kyra to see that she missed two calls from Donovan.  But she was excited about the news she had for him:  Leonard was most likely out of their lives forever, and she was ready to move out of her aunt’s house. 

Donovan didn’t answer when she called him back, so Kyra left him a message.  H
e returned her call, and that’s when Kyra’s life was turned upside down a second time. 

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

Now she sat afraid and dejected on her bed, trying to comfort her children when she was dreadfully in need of comfort herself.  Donovan knew about her drug use, and he knew that she lost her children to the system.  The worst part was Donovan had to hear about it from Aunt Ruth.  

Kyra thought she handled her first confrontation of the day very well.  Leonard was gone
.  She was pretty sure he was still on drugs, but most importantly Leonard was gone.  Kyra’s next confrontation would be a lot worse because afterwards she wouldn’t have anywhere to live.  So be it.  Because if Aunt Ruth thought she could run her mouth like that and not get a mouthful in return, she had another thing coming. 

Kat and Quinell
finally stopped crying.  Kyra got off the bed, and Kat reached for her.  Kyra forced a smile and told her, “Mama will be right back.  I have to go talk to your Aunt Ruth.”  She told Quinell, “If things get loud, just stay calm and look after your sister.  We’ll probably be leaving here as soon as I get back.”

Quinell’s eyes brightened.  “We’re going to live with Donovan?”

Kyra’s whole face cracked as she shook her head.  She pulled it together right away, but Quinell saw it.  “No, but we’ll find somewhere to go.  No matter what, we’ll always have each other, right?”

Quinell nodded.

Kyra rubbed the top of his head and hugged both of her children at once.  She then turned and left the room.  She closed the door behind herself and allowed all of her anger to rise to the surface as she marched to her aunt’s room.  Kyra didn’t go to church as much as she should, and she was far less saved than Donovan. 

The only thing she promised herself
not
to do was put her hands on Aunt Ruth.  And even that was flexible, depending on how the witch responded.

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

“What the hell you tell Donovan all that shit for?”

“What?”  Aunt Ruth hopped out of bed with a speed and agility that belied her age.  She met Kyra head on in the doorway.  “Don’t you be coming up in my room with all that noise!”

Ruth didn’t have time to throw a robe over her nightgown, and Kyra saw much more of her skin than she ever wanted to.  Aunt Ruth’s chest was sunken.  Her breasts hung like the old women in the African tribal videos from the 1930’s.  Without her glasses, Ruth looked ten years younger.  But she was still hideous, as far as Kyra was concerned; ugly inside and on the outside.

“Why did you tell him that?” Kyra nearly screamed.

“He called
my
phone!” her aunt screamed back.  “I can say whatever the fuck I want on my goddamned phone.  You must’ve forgot whose house this is.”

“It don’t matter whose house it is!  You still didn’t have no business telling my personal business.”

“What personal business?” Ruth said.  “That you was a dopefiend? That them people had to come take your kids?  Everybody know that.  It ain’t no fucking secret, Kyra.  You need to quit lying to these folks, is what you need to do.”

Even Aunt Ruth’s breath was stale.  Kyra couldn’t think of one single thing she liked about this woman.

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about,” she said.  “And it didn’t have nothing to do with you anyway!”

“It got everything to do with me,” Ruth countered.  “You down here right now because of what
you was doing in Little Rock.”

“I changed,” Kyra cri
ed.  “I’m not like that no more.  And you know it!”

“Then why you scared to tell the truth?”

“Tell the truth to who?”

“Donovan for one,” Ruth said.  “That boy didn’t know nothing about it.  You call yourself being all in love or whatever
.  Why can’t you tell him the truth?”

“It’s not your business!” Kyra shouted.  She didn’t understand why her aunt couldn’t grasp that. 
 

“He called
my
phone,” Ruth repeated.  “I didn’t call him.  He called me!”

“
He didn’t ask you about none of that shit you told him!”

“Well,
I
think he need to know about it,” Ruth stated.  “How about that?  I told him ’cause I think he need to know.”

“
But why
?” Kyra bawled.

“Because you using people
, Kyra.  You using people, and it ain’t right, just like you doing to me.  You didn’t wanna pay me my money when you got paid.  You fucked off your food stamps.  I told you them people would give you some money just to live here, but you didn’t wanna do that either.  Everything I tried to get you to do, you wouldn’t do nothing!  And then you got this man and the other one coming over here, taking you out to fancy places.”

“
So?  What about it?”

“
They wouldn’t have done nothing for you if they knew the truth!” Ruth said.  “If you wasn’t gon’ tell ’em, then I had to be the one to do it.  You can try that sneaky shit somewhere else, ’cause you sure as hell ain’t doing it here!”

Ruth was in her face, chin up, top lip curled in
a sneer.  She looked like she could defend herself if Kyra took a swing.  But the more Kyra studied her face and listened to the words coming out of her mouth, the more she realized it wasn’t worth it.  This confrontation was a waste of time.

The world
had not been kind to Aunt Ruth.  She had three marriages that ended in divorce.  The one thing she had to show for it all, her son Michael, hadn’t called the house since Kyra had been there.  Aunt Ruth was bitter and lonely, and she was sick and tired of being bitter and lonely.  She tried to ruin Kyra’s life because misery loves company.

Kyra
knew that the longer she stayed there, the more she would lose to the curse that had been placed on Ruth’s household.  Kyra felt like she’d been running all her life.  Now it was time to put her Nikes on again.

“You ain’t
even worth it,” she said and abruptly left the room.

Aunt Ruth followed her down the hallway.

“What you mean by that?”

Kyra ignored her.  She
went to her room and locked eyes with Kat and Quinell who were sitting on the bed where she left them.  She tried to give them an encouraging smile, but her eyes were wet and sorrowful.  Kyra dropped to her knees and dragged both of her brother’s suitcases from under the bed.  She threw them on top of the mattress and told Quinell, “Get all of your clothes.  Put them in that one.”

Quinell hopped off of the bed
and ran to his dresser.  He yanked it open and scooped up the contents of the first drawer.

“What are you doing?” 

Aunt Ruth was standing in the doorway.  Kyra disregarded her as she gathered Kat’s toys and Q’s school supplies.

“I ain’t say you had to leave,” Ruth said.  “I’m not putting you out, Kyra.”

No one responded.  Kat sat on the bed with her eyes on her aunt. 

“Get all your shoes,” Kyra told her.  She had to snap her fingers in Kat’s face to get her attention.  “Get all your shoes,” Kyra said.  “Get Quinell’s, too.
  All the shoes you can find.  Put them in this bag.”  She gave her daughter an empty trash bag.  The toddler crawled off the bed and got to work.

“Where you gon’ go?” Ruth asked.  “You ain’t got nowhere to go, Kyra.”

Kyra didn’t respond, but she heard everything.  The fact that Ruth’s assumption was correct made her Kyra’s tears flow even harder.  Where was she going?  The women’s shelter?  Back to Little Rock?  It was hard to believe that thirty minutes ago Kyra had a man who loved her and wanted her to move in.  She was sure Donovan still loved her, but they weren’t on speaking terms.  She knew he would no longer welcome her with open arms.

Kyra and her kids continued to pack hastily while Aunt Ruth
hovered in the doorway saying things that didn’t matter at all, like, “I’ll call him back and tell him it wasn’t true,” and “I’ll give you your check back, and you can pay me just a thousand,” and “I won’t charge you for rent, if you stay, Kyra.  I’ll only charge you for babysitting – as long as you keep getting groceries.”

In a last desperate move, Aunt Ruth revealed her dark heart and a possible motive for what she did:  “I said I’ll give your check back, Kyra.  You don’t have to leave.  Just pay
me five hundred dollars a month – and get groceries. 

“Where are you gonna go, girl?  I’m not kicking you out.  I told you I would help you.  I told you that before you came down here.  I told you I would
take care of you.  You don’t need nobody’s help but
mine
.  Don’t worry about that boy.  Just stay here with me, and let me help with those kids…”

Kyra
finally understood that her aunt was crazy as well as lonely.  She invited Kyra to live with her under the guise of helping her get back on her feet.  But Ruth hated every bit of independence Kyra developed.  And she hated everyone in Kyra’s life who offered to help her.  She wanted to run Donovan off so Kyra would be totally dependent on her aunt, but only an insane person would think that could actually work.

Kyra told her, “Excuse me,” when she took the first load out to the car.  It was pouring rain by then.
  The sky was fierce with thunder and lightning.  Kyra was completely drenched five seconds after she walked outside.  She threw the suitcase in the trunk and returned to the house for the other one. 

Aunt Ruth glared at her.  Kyra was
shivering.  Rain water mixed with tears dripped off her face.  Her sneakers squeaked with each step.  Quinell wanted to go with her when she took the second load, but she told him, “No.  It’s raining.  Stay in here.”

After two
more trips, Kyra had all of her belongings stuffed in the trunk and the back seat of her car.  She returned to the house for her children, who were as eager to get away from Auth Ruth as she was. 

“Put your jackets on,” Kyra told them. 

She was nearly out of breath.  She spoke in shudders, constantly sniffling and wiping her nose with the back of her hand.  The white of her eyes was complete pink.  Thankfully, her children had never been so well-behaved.

When everyone was ready to go, Kyra checked their bedroom one last time before she picked up Kat and pulled the hood of her jacket over her head.
  Quinell grabbed the last of his toys and stuffed them in his pockets before following her. 

Aunt Ruth waited in the living room
with a black robe wrapped around her body, looking like death itself.  All she needed was a sickle. 

“Where are you going, Kyra?  It’s raining out there.
  You can’t take them babies out in that rain.  You need to come sit down, and let’s talk this out.  I got your check right here.  You don’t have to pay me, if that’s why you leaving.”

Kyra didn’t understand how someone could be so
fundamentally stupid.  After everything Ruth did to her since she moved in, she had the nerve to think she could make it all go away with money. 

Kyra
wanted to tell her to go to hell.  She wanted to tell Aunt Ruth that she was an ugly, old hag who was going to die alone, that she’d wish for death a hundred times before God pinched the wick on her pitiful existence.  But what was the point?  Putting Aunt Ruth in her place wouldn’t heal Kyra’s broken heart.  It wouldn’t make Donovan forgive her for lying to him. 

Kyra and her family exited the house and hurried to her car. 
Kyra felt the rain soaking all the way down to her underwear as she leaned in the back and fastened Kat’s car seat.  When she finally got behind the wheel, Kyra turned the ignition and was not surprised that her car wouldn’t start.  That was the devil trying to take away her last bit of sanity. 

Kyra closed her eyes and said a quick prayer.  She knew she’d keep her family in the car
until it stopped raining before she’d return to her aunt’s house.  They could set out on foot when the rain cleared up.