The Reason I Stay (10 page)

While Mathew kicks off his sandals, Bras gets the ball, and together they move to the space between the water and us. I sit back on my now vacant towel, and watch as he explains the play to the two girls. He’s as good with the ball as he is with the kids. The sight of the ginormous smile on Kodee’s lips is enough to melt some of the animosity I have towards him—like five percent tops, but it’s something.

The girls manage to make the play correctly, and Mathew high fives them, laughing. Then he brings his hands up to his hair to tie it in a hazardous ponytail, and out of their own will, my teeth clasp over my bottom lip.

“He seems like a fine young man.” Jill’s tone is unnaturally swoony.

Tanie laughs, and nudges my shoulder. “I don’t think he’s nice at all, Gammy. I think he’s a bad, bad man.” Her tone is full of innuendo, and has both women quaking like they’re at the circus.

It annoys the crap out of me, and apparently Larry shares my sentiments. “I reckon you women are talking nonsense, but he’s really a nice, friendly man. Seems a bit lost in the world, but everyone is lost every now and then. Y’all should know that. ”

Yes, I can understand being lost. I can also relate to it not making us really nice people. But the part of me holding some bitterness towards his jerkish behavior won’t allow me to accept that.

“But don’t you think it’s weird? He’s just driving around, and making friends with seven year-olds?” I ask.

“I reckon it is. But kindred spirits are often odd. Y’all girls should know. Never met an odder bunch than you two and my Leigh. That didn’t stop y’all being glued at the hip for almost two decades.”

After that we all stay quiet for a while. Talking about Leigh, his daughter, Kodee’s mom, and Tanie and mine’s other best friend, is still hard to do. In that loaded silence, Tanie reaches her hand to hold mine and we look at each other, both missing Leigh and both glad we still have each other.

A few minutes pass when Jill and Larry start talking behind me. I don’t pay any attention to what they are saying—I’m just glad they’re talking. For the longest time any memory of Leigh, aside from Kodee, would render them silent for days on end. It’s a good change.

“Lexie,” Tanie calls in hushed tones. I look at her, and study the crooked smile on her face. “I want to play Dare or Dare.”

I know this will be a really bad idea, but I can’t say no. Literally. I’m not allowed to.

We were twelve when Leigh suggested we turn the game of Truth or Dare into Dare or Dare, since the truth part was pointless due to our never-keeping-secrets policy. On that day, we also agreed that if one of us wanted to play, the others couldn’t refuse. It was one of Leigh’s not so brilliant ideas, and even though it’s just the two of us now, we still follow the rule.

“Shoot.”

“Okay . . . I dare you to look at the reason why we drank ourselves stupid last night.”

Crap!

We stare at each other for a second. She’s beaming, and I’m scowling. And then, reluctantly, I turn my eyes to Mathew. And then I add, “You’re a bitch, Montana,” for good measure.

“I know, but you love me.”

I bite my lips to avoid a smile from forming. “That’s debatable.”

She laughs, and raises a brow. “He’s hot.”

“That he is,” I reply.

Jill yells, “Water break,” behind us.

The two girls abandon the ball and run breathless toward us, Matthew trailing behind.

“You, too, Matthew.” She waves him over and, to my absolutely horror, adds, “These gals thought you might be hot. Actually, they both said you were, and by the looks of the sweat in your hair, I think a little water break’ll be good for you.”

“Is that right?” He quirks his lips as he strides casually toward Jill.

His gaze travels from Jill to me to Tanie, and then back to me, where it lingers. I’m at the same time humiliated and dying to roll on my back and laugh until my stomach hurts, but all I can do is stare at him. His eyes are wide and filled with mirth. He stops right in front of me.

“You all think right. I’m really hot.” He takes the cold bottle of water from Jill’s hand and thanks her.

Not believing he just said that, my eyes fly up to look at him. I get only a partial view of his cocky smirk as he clasps his lips—
those
lips—around the bottle, and takes a swig. My reactions to it are the same as always.

To make matters worse, Kodee casually tugs at Mathew’s shirt. “It’s the T-shirt. Take it off Mathew; it’s too warm for shirts.” It makes me want to die—and kiss her silly.

“Yeah, Mathew . . . It’s too hot for shirts.” Tanie’s voice cracks with suppressed laughter.

His chest shakes with chuckles, but still, he hands his water bottle to Kodee, reaches behind his head and pulls his T-shirt off. If ever were an appropriate moment to say “Hot damn!” and mean it literally, this would be it.

The damn man is as hot as a habanero pepper. His abs seem to have more bumps than anatomically possible—in a good way, not in a deformed way—and, to top things off, he’s got tats that connect both his upper arms to his shoulders and disappear down his back. Call me a sucker for tattooed men, but I’m too distracted by this new, visually appealing revelation to consider that the friendly man crashing my lovely beach day is also the jerk-face who ruined two of my days.

He keeps looking at me, and I keep looking at him. In truth, at that point, all I can think about is running my tongue over the smooth tattooed skin and—
wait, what? Snap out of it, Lexington.

Mortified by my own mind, I peel my gaze away from him, stand up, and look at Tanie. “You’ve been sitting on your ass for too long. Let’s take a break, and go refresh.” I hope to God she understands the hidden meaning in my words, and doesn’t give me any sassy attitude.

Luckily, she remembers we’re best friends and, as such, that we should have each other’s backs. She removes her sunglasses, tosses them on her towel, and follows me to the safety of the waves.

We’re chest deep in the cool water when she turns around to look at the shore. “I dare you to reply honestly. Are you attracted to him?”

Keeping my eyes on the infinity of the ocean, I chuckle. “Stupid question. Of course I am; he’s gorgeous. I think Gammy and Kodee have the hots for him, and neither of them even knows what ‘the hots’ is.”

“You have a valid point. On a scale of one to ten, he’s a fifty.” She laughs. “And if you mention that to Eric, I’ll cut off your virginia.”

“I don’t think vagina’s can be cut off. They’re pretty attached organs.”

“If there’s a will, there’s a way, my friend.”

I cross my heart. She smiles at me.

“Okay, another honesty dare.” I sigh, but wait for her question. “After his failed, yet strangely thoughtful, attempt at contrition yesterday, the cute as bells view of him playing with kids, and
that
body with
those
tats, do you still not like him?”

We duck from a crashing wave. When I resurface, I’m facing the beach where Mathew is running, kicking the ball, and laughing with the two little girls. I have to agree with Tanie, it’s cute as hell. But that doesn’t mean anything, right?

I wipe the salty water from my face and reply, “I really don’t.”

For the first time in my life, I’m not completely sure my reply to Tanie was one hundred percent honest. I know it was mostly honest—like, fifty-five percent truthful—but I sure as hell won’t admit it. Judging by the sideways side smile on her face, I’m also not entirely sure she’s buying it.

I have no idea how long Tanie and I’ve been in the water, but I reckon it’s been a long time. Long enough that my fingers look like dried prunes.

We’ve relocated to the spot where the waves no longer break, and the water only reaches our belly buttons. It’s my favorite spot: a place where I can lay on the surface of the water and float peacefully as the sun heats my skin. Tanie holds my ankles and relentlessly recites her valedictorian speech.

“Hey, Montana,” the voice that has become weirdly familiar to me calls. I crane my neck enough to remove my head from the water and see Mathew walking toward us from the shore. He points with his head towards the umbrella, where Tanie’s boyfriend, Eric, waves enthusiastically at us.

As is to be expected, Tanie yelps and drops my legs, which causes me to lose my balance and sink like a rock. By the time I come back up, with my mouth and nostrils burning from the salty water, she’s already running toward the beach. My legs flounder to find the ground as I clutch my stomach and cough repeatedly to expel the water I just swallowed.

I’m so distracted by my coughing that I don’t notice the rebel wave that decides to break on my back until a pair of hands holds me by the waist and pushes me up, preventing me from being engulfed yet again. Once the water calms down, Mathew’s hands leave my waist to gently pat my shoulder, helping me to get the last of the water out of the wrong pipe.

“Thank you,” I say once I can speak again.

“You’re welcome.”

These four words are the first normal conversation we’ve had, and it feels nice. So I try to continue it with the only thing that comes to mind. “Thanks for being so nice to Kodee.”

A forming wave passes by us, and breaks a few feet way.

“I know I haven’t shown you this, and therefore, you have every right to hate me, but I’m not always an ass.” He brings a hand to tuck his now wet hair behind his ear, and gives me one of those cocky smiles. “I can be
very
charming.”

A giggle bubbles up from my throat. “You did win all of them over.” He grins, and that grin almost wins me over as well. Almost. “And I don’t hate you.” He raises a challenging brow at me. “It’s true—hate is a pointless emotion. I just really don’t like you.”

He lets out a chuckle. “That’s honest.”

I shrug. “And that, about Kodee, wasn’t a dig. It was just a thank you, because God knows that kid needs more niceness in her life. The poor thing gets passed around between her dad and grandparents like the flu. It’s heartbreaking.”

“In that case, you’re welcome again. She’s the coolest kid I know.”

“Do you know many kids?” I’m weirdly and genuinely interested.

“No, not really.”

I laugh as another rogue wave crashes on us. His hand clasps around my bent elbow, and he pulls me up with him to jump the wave. When our feet hit the wet sand and his hand is no longer holding a part of me, I look up and smile. It’s the first genuine, broad smile I’ve given him since we first met. Unblinking, his gaze travels across my lips, lingering a moment.

He takes a sizable breath and clears his throat. “So, the thing I had to fix but didn’t.”

“Yes?”

“Well, it’s you.”

I bite the inside of my cheek to hide a smile. “I kind of figured.”

He runs his hand through his hair again. Without even thinking, I ask, “Is that a nervous twitch?”

His brows pull together. “What?”

“The hair tucking.” I tuck my own hair behind my ear, mimicking him.

He thinks for a second and shrugs. “I don’t even realize I’m doing it, so I guess it is.” He moves his hand to his hair again, but quickly lowers it. We both laugh.

“Did I ruin it?” I ask sheepishly.

He gives an exaggerated nod. “Yes, you did. I’m aware, and self-conscious of it now. Thank you very much.”

Another wave hits us, and once again he doesn’t even ask before holding my elbow and bringing me up with him. The thoughtfulness in the gesture makes me breathe a little faster.

“Now I feel bad, so if it helps, I’ll let you know that the hair tucking is kind of cute.”

He stares at me with those bottomless blue eyes, amusement flashing in them. “I don’t usually take cute as a compliment, but coming from you . . . I will.”

I nod and, even though it makes me feel like an idiotic flustered girl, I laugh again.

When I finally stop laughing, he takes another deep breath. “Back to our previous subject . . . Do you have any idea what a charming jerk that doesn’t know many kids but is nice to one in particular, and who manages to win over a whole family, even though he sucks ass at apologizing, would have to do to win the forgiveness of the nicest and prettiest waitress he’s ever met?”