The Reawakened (15 page)

Sura eased her body against his. She tried to let the music flow through her and flatten the fears that the meloxa had heightened and distorted.

Something lay within Etarek’s eyes that soothed and excited her at the same time. She thought back to the vision of the deer at her Bestowing, how happy and free it had made her feel.

It was right to want this man. Maybe later, he could make her forget what Dravek would be doing all night with the woman who had captured his body forever.

Someone small and giggling bumped into them. Sura looked down to see a young boy, maybe eight or nine, stumbling over his own feet. Kara grabbed his hands and gave Sura and Etarek an apologetic grin before whirling away with him.

“That’s her little brother.” Etarek smiled at them. “Must be the siblings’ dance.” He tilted his chin over Sura’s shoulder. “Yes, there’s Dravek and Daria, looking like they want to kill each other.”

Sura didn’t look. When Etarek turned back to her, she said, “You think Dravek and Kara will be happy? Their Animals are so different.”

Etarek’s eyes turned sad as he watched Kara whirl by with her little brother, the white ribbon fluttering from her right arm. “I can’t say.” Then his mouth twitched. “Tonight they’ll be happy, at least. Did Elora tell you what they do with those ribbons on their wedding night?”

“No, but I can guess.” Sura fought to steady her voice. “They tie each other to the bed?”

He looked impressed at her imagination. “You’re right. One at a time.”

“Who goes first?”

“That’s a secret only they know. I’ve heard that the person who holds more power in the marriage is bound first.”

She tried to sound casual. “And between Dravek and Kara—”

“Before tonight I would’ve said he did for sure. But when they took their vows, I heard a shadow of fear in his voice. From now on, I think she’ll gain power and he’ll lose it.”

“Shouldn’t a relationship be between equals?”

“It’s not the people who aren’t equal. It’s their need. There’s always one who can’t live without the other just a little bit harder.”

Sura thought of Mathias. Would he have wanted to claw out his own heart if she had been the one to perish in the fire instead of him? She doubted it.

“Let’s not talk about them anymore.” Etarek’s gaze roamed her face, holding a hunger for more than a dance. It rekindled the longing born within her when she’d watched him play. It was time to put both Mathias and Dravek out of her mind. One was dead; the other might as well be.

She felt her heat flow into Etarek. Pressed against his hip, her body finally found the rhythm. Her shoulders loosened, swaying and tilting with his. The music seeped into her blood and made it pump and sing with a new urgency.

Just as she was about to suggest they take their dance to a more private, shadowy place, the song changed, into a fast rhythm that made her jaw drop.

Etarek let go of her. “Time to eat.”

She followed him out of the dancing area as a half-dozen Cats tripped a complex series of steps, leaping, turning and flipping, connecting body parts in ways Sura would’ve thought impossible.

Daria bounced by them on the way to the clearing. She turned her head as she passed and curled her finger in Etarek’s direction. He shook his head and turned away. Daria jutted out her jaw, then entered the dance circle with a flounce. Sura watched her move, wondering what else such a lithe body could do and what it had done with Etarek.

He gestured to the empty end of a long table. She sat on the bench with her back to the bonfire. Etarek rounded up two large, mostly clean plates and filled them with acorns, berries and strips of roasted meat.

He placed the plate in front of Sura and sat across the table from her. “Do you have a mate in Asermos?”

Her appetite fled. She pushed her plate away. “He was killed last year. Descendants, of course.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Etarek set down his fork and sighed. “That makes this sound even more inappropriate than it already is.”

She tilted her head, making it swim from the meloxa. “What?”

He blew out a tight breath. “May I sit next to you for this?”

She nodded to her bench. He came over and straddled it, facing her. Slowly his hand reached for hers, and she let him take it, hearing her pulse pound louder than the bonfire drums.

“This is going to sound very strange, considering we’ve only known each other eight days.” He rubbed his thumb and forefinger over his lower lip, pinching it into a vertical crease. “Thing is, our people need my mother to—and for her to—I need to—”

“There you are, Etarek.” Adrek approached with Kara’s parents. “Everyone’s asking for the Spirit Dance.”

Etarek grimaced and looked up at them. “Give me a moment.”

“Now,” Kara’s mother said, “or there’ll be a riot.” She winked at Sura, who smiled back, though she had no idea what they were talking about.

“Fine,” Etarek said. “Next song.” They moved away, and he stood up, heaving a harsh sigh. “We’ll finish this in a few minutes. After you dance with Dravek.”

Sura jolted. “I can’t dance with Dravek.”

“I’ll make it a slow song so you can follow the steps.”

She rubbed the back of her neck, which was heating at the thought. “But why do I have to?”

“No one can leave before the bride and groom, and they can’t leave until they dance with their Spirit-siblings.”

She looked around at the copious food and drink. “The party’s almost over?”

“No, not for another two or three days. People just want to leave to go do…other things, and come back.”

“What other things?”

“Sex.” He cleared his throat and rested his hands on his hips. “But it’s bad form to do it before the bride and groom. People are getting restless, so I have to go play the Spirits’ song and you have to dance with Dravek. Then we can all get back to partying.”

Her throat seemed to grow a lump. “Why not just skip it and let them go to bed?”
While I hide in the outhouse.

He shook his head. “In Kalindos, common sense is no match for tradition.” He turned to leave.

“Wait. What were you going to ask me?”

He started to speak, then bit his lip. “Later, when we’re alone.”

She watched him stride back toward the clearing and confer with the other drummer.

Kara ran past, dragging one of her Wolf-brothers, a lanky young blond man. “Spirit Dance!” She spotted Sura. “No excuses, get up there.”

The crowd at the edge of the clearing parted, and Dravek came for her. Sura looked down into her empty meloxa mug, unable to meet his eyes.

His shadow blotted out the light from the closest torch. “Please do this for me,” he said in a low voice.

She looked up at him. He bowed and offered his hand. His eyes were tinged with anticipation, as if this dance were one last gift the world had offered them.

Sura stood slowly, untangling her legs from the bench. She took his hand as casually as possible, and they walked back to the clearing together. The music’s beat was slow, as Etarek had promised.

Dravek led her as far from the others as possible. “The dance could last a while. Kara has a lot of Wolf-brothers.”

Sura breathed in deep as she laid a hand on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her waist.

The bonfire snapped and flared. She looked at it. “Did we do that?”

“Shh. Let’s start before people get suspicious.”

They began to move together, and Sura’s mind turned from desire to embarrassment. “Sorry I’m a bad dancer.”

“I’m glad. Now we have a reason to look awkward.”

She glanced up at him and saw the corner of his mouth tug into a smile. She struggled for words to break the tension.

“Your wife is very nice.”

Dravek threw back his head and laughed. The sound of it made her want to hug him. To others they must have looked like friends.

“What’s so funny?”

“The tone of your voice when you said that. I don’t have to have a Deer’s powers to hear your real meaning.”

“She
is
nice.”

“Yes, Kara’s wonderful. She’s perfect. She’s everything a man could want in a thousand lifetimes.” He looked past Sura’s face, his eyes going far away. “I’ve made a horrible mistake.”

Her heart leaped. “No, you haven’t. It’s normal to have second thoughts.”

“I’ll never deserve her.”

“Because of what we’ve done? It’s in the past. You’ll go away with her and forget about me, and in a few weeks you’ll wonder why you ever felt this way.”

He nodded, but didn’t look convinced.

She regarded the red ribbon wound around his left arm and imagined it stretching over his skin later as his muscles strained and pulled against the binding in a frenzy of passion.

Her own skin tingled and burned. He drew in a hiss and loosened his grip on her hand. She looked up at him and saw that he had followed her gaze to the ribbon.

She knew she shouldn’t ask. “Are you happy?”

He hesitated. “It’s not important.”

“It is to me.”

His step faltered, and he let out a heavy sigh. “See these dark circles under my eyes? I’ve barely slept since I met you.”

“Doubt you’ll sleep tonight, either.” She cursed her voice’s bitter tinge.

“I almost broke the engagement.”

Her breath caught. “Why didn’t you?”

“And then what? Run away with you? Where would we go?”

“You tell me, if you’ve lost so much sleep over it.”

“Tiros.” He looked away, then back, into her eyes. “I thought we’d go to Tiros, to Vara. Explain it all to her. Maybe we’re not the first Snakes to feel this way. Maybe she could help us.”

“Maybe.” Sura matched his gaze, while inside she begged her meloxa-weakened self-control to hold out until the end of the song.

“I had it all figured out,” he whispered. “Until I thought how Kara would feel when I told her. I couldn’t cause her pain. Maybe I’m a coward. But I’ll sacrifice my happiness for hers.”

Sura snorted, the spell of his eyes broken by the absurdity of his words. “You really believe you’re being noble and selfless, don’t you? You want to know what’s going to happen? One day she’ll realize you’ll never be completely hers, and it’ll hurt her that much more. If you’d given her up, she could’ve found someone who would really love her.”

“I do love her,” he hissed. “I had no doubts about marrying her until I met you. And we’ll be happy once we leave Kalindos.”

“I don’t believe that. I think even before me, you wondered if you could be faithful forever.” She cut off his protest. “I also think that in a few years, maybe sooner, you’ll meet someone else you can’t get out of your head. And maybe next time there’ll be nowhere to run.”

His dark eyes flashed with anger. “Why are you saying these things?”

“Because they’re true.”

“Because you’re drunk.”

“I’ll miss you,” she said, though she meant to say, “I hate you.”

His glare slowly faded into a look of deep pain. “Sura, I just don’t know,” he said softly.

“You don’t know what?”

“How I’ll breathe without you.”

The heat crept up from her toes, like the ground itself was on fire. She opened her mouth to speak, though she had no words.

“The song’ll be over soon,” Dravek said. “And there’s nothing more to say, so let’s just…”

She closed her eyes and focused on the touch of his palm against hers. Somehow she’d find a way to lock this moment away forever, so she could take it out and live in it again and again. It would sustain her like food.

The music pulsed through her veins, connecting her to Dravek. She heard the rhythm of his breath quicken even as the beat stayed slow. His hand on her waist remained perfectly still, showing the world not one indication of desire.

Then his thumb twitched against her lowest rib. Whether accidental or on purpose, the tiny motion set off a cascading reaction in her body. The images flooded back into her mind, the story of passion they’d created together, feeding off each other’s desire. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. His gaze bored into hers.

She parted her lips, and the bonfire erupted.

Sura shoved Dravek’s arm from her head. “We have to stop it.” A shard of burning wood hit her cheek. She yelped and swiped it off.

“I am stopping it.” He covered her face again. “Remember, you don’t have to see the fire to control it. Concentrate.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and felt for the base of the flame. It was angry, and hungry for freedom. She reached to smother it, forming a heavy, wet blanket with her mind.

The heat seared her as it flowed in like river rapids, soaking her core with flame. The breath she drew only fanned the fire. She held it in until she thought her lungs would burst.

The weight rolled off her, and she heard Dravek try to speak her name through his hacking cough. She reached out for him. Why was it so dark?

“Sura,” he rasped. “It’s over. Come back. Breathe.”

She tried to force her lungs to release her breath, but they seized and spasmed. Her eyes wouldn’t open.

“Help!” Dravek shouted. “Elora! Someone bring water!”

“Got it,” said a voice Sura recognized as Etarek’s. A trickle of cold water rolled over her cheek, then wet cloths pressed against her eyes and mouth.

“Where’s Elora?” Dravek began to cough and hack again.

“She’s coming,” Etarek said. “Here, drink, or you’ll be in as bad a shape as Sura.”

Elora’s voice came from above. “Is anyone burned?”

“Sura’s not breathing.”

The fear in Dravek’s voice propelled her to try despite the pain. “Yes, I am,” she croaked. “Rather not, though.”

“Thank the Spirits.” Dravek seized her hand, then hissed and dropped it. The heat had singed them both.

“Dravek?” called a voice behind him. “What happened? Are you all right?”

“Kara.” Sura heard him turn and stand up. “Don’t touch me,” he said. “I’ll hurt you.”

Sura cracked open her dry eyes. Dravek’s white shirt—what was left of it—was scorched black, and his face and chest were covered in soot. She put a hand to the front of her own dress, which seemed mostly intact. He had shielded her from the worst of it.

Etarek helped her sit up and put a cold mug to her lips. “It’s just water. Drink.”

Her dry lips pulled apart. As she swallowed, the burning began to ease, though her arms and legs tingled as if sparks were bouncing off the inside of her skin.

“Is everyone safe?” she asked Elora. She would never forgive herself if—

“No one was hurt, thanks to you and Dravek.” The healer dabbed Sura’s face with the cold cloth. “A few minor burns from flying embers, but nothing serious.”

“Something was in that fire,” Etarek said. “It’s just not natural.”

Sura gulped more water. Though it went into her mouth cold, it warmed as it traveled down her throat. Her stomach felt like she’d just drunk tea fresh off the stove.

Dravek sat beside her. “I have to go now, but I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

Her eyes stung. “I’ll be fine. But what about—” She regarded his hands, wrapped in wet cloths. “Will Kara be safe?” she whispered.

He looked at Etarek and Elora, who caught the hint and stood up.

“I’ll go check on the others,” Elora said.

“I better make sure the drums aren’t damaged,” Etarek added.

In a moment, Sura and Dravek were alone, though surrounded by people who were trying not to watch them.

“We did that,” she told him. “We could have killed someone, maybe even destroyed the village.”

“But we didn’t. We made it go away. We saved everyone. That’s all they know.” He wiped one of his cloths over his face, which was pouring sweat. “We need to learn control. We just can’t learn it together.”

She shut her eyes, for the fire still pounded through her, wanting to join the heat radiating from his body. “Good night, Dravek.”

She heard him sigh as he stood.

“Goodbye,” he whispered, and turned away.

When his footsteps had faded, she opened her eyes to see Etarek approaching.

“Safe to touch you yet?” He offered a hand to help her up.

She grasped it and saw him wince, but he didn’t let go. She stood with him, watching the crowd gather around Dravek and Kara, following them to their home with catcalls and hollers. Someone made a joke about the wisdom of lighting fires indoors.

Sura tugged Etarek’s hand before the impulse could fade. “Let’s go for a walk.” She looked up at him through her lashes. “See what happens.”

Etarek stared at her. “Are you talking about what I think you’re talking about?”

“You know I am.” She stepped backward, toward the dark edge of the clearing, dragging him along. “Let yourself hear what I’m feeling.”

“Wait.” He stopped.

“Is my hand burning you?”

“It feels good.” He drew her closer and placed her palm against his chest. “Are you sure about this?”

“I’m sure I like you.” She slid her other hand over his shoulder. “I’m sure I want you.”

None of that was a lie, or he would hear it if he tried. The bonfire’s flames had fanned her affection for him into something more urgent and needful.

Etarek’s hands glided over her waist. Her body responded, and her mind tried to lock away the memory of dancing with Dravek.

She lifted her chin, craving a kiss, but his gaze darted behind her into the woods.

“We should go back to my house,” he said.

“It’ll take too long.” She backed out of his embrace. “I want you now. On the ground.” She slid her hand across her muddy neck, reveling in his gaze. “I want to get you as dirty as I am.”

His eyes lit up, but he said, “We don’t have a blanket.”

“We’ll use our clothes.” She turned and ran. He would have to chase her now instead of talking. His footsteps followed close behind her.

Sura turned around a clump of undergrowth. Finding the space behind it empty, she reached back and untied her dress. By the time he joined her, she had it halfway over her head.

“Wait.” He pulled her dress down to cover her. “I have something to tell you.”

“Tell me later.” She tugged at his trousers. “And don’t worry, I’ve been taking wild carrot seed, so I can’t get pregnant.”

He gently removed her hands and held them in his own. “Perhaps you’d better sit.”

The trepidation in his voice cooled her flame-fueled desire. She sat—a little more heavily than she’d planned, due to the meloxa in her head and the confines of the dress. Etarek didn’t join her. She cursed herself for coming on too strong, though she hadn’t thought it possible with a Kalindon man.

“Forgive me.” Etarek paced in front of her. “I’d give anything to make love with you right now. But if I did, and then said this later, you’d think me a right bastard.” He crouched in front of her so she could see his face, however faint, in the distant torchlight. “Would you have my baby?”

Her jaw plummeted. In the next breath, she barked a laugh so loud the rest of Kalindos must have heard her.

Etarek’s face stayed solemn, which only made her laugh harder. She smacked his chest. “You
are
a right bastard.” She wiped her mouth into sobriety and took a deep breath. “Yes, Etarek,” she said in a low, serious voice. “I’d be honored to bear your child. In fact, why don’t we have four or five, in case we need a few spares?”

“Sura, I’m not joking.”

She kept laughing. “You must be, because if you weren’t, then—” She stopped and looked at him. “Then I would have to hit you much harder.”

He opened his arms. “Go ahead. Then think about what I asked.”

Sura shook her fist under his nose. “What game is this?”

“It’s not a game.” He took her hand. “My mother needs to become third phase so she can communicate instantaneously with Galen in Tiros. Only then will we be able to coordinate an attack on Asermos.”

Sura stared at him. “You’re serious.” She jerked her hand out of his. “Serious and insane.”

He shook his head. “Unfortunately this is a rational decision. Too rational, if you ask me.”

“The Council’s ordering you to become a father? They can’t do that.”

“It’s my decision. Sometimes we have to put aside our own desires to do what our people need.”

Her mind boggled at the idea, and part of her still expected him to confess it was a joke. “It’s your decision, but you won’t be the one pregnant. You won’t be the one raising a child in this horrible world.”

“I know you don’t want to end up like your mother, but I wouldn’t abandon you the way your father did.” His voice softened but maintained its urgency. “I’d do everything to help raise our son or daughter.”

“If I stay here, you mean. What if I go home?”

“It’s not safe to go home. It’ll never be safe until our people throw out the Descendants. As a third-phase Hawk, my mother could help that happen. My father Ladek’s a Bear—think what a warrior he’d be.” He gestured in the general direction of Asermos. “And if your mother entered the third phase, she’d be invincible. They wouldn’t be able to kill her with any weapon.”

“Don’t bring her into it,” she snapped. “Besides, they’d just let her die of thirst. Invincibility isn’t immortality.”

“But with her new strength and fighting ability, she might be able to escape from prison.”

Angry tears burned her eyes. “She wouldn’t want me to have a baby just to get power. It goes against the Spirits’ ways.”

“Maybe the Spirits want different things from us. They want our power.” He leaned closer so she could hear his whisper. “Without it, they’ll die.”

“But no pressure, right? Just the fate of the world resting on my womb. I won’t do it.” Sura turned her back on him but didn’t get up. The meloxa had made her head too sloshy for sudden movements. “Why me? Why not some other woman?”

He sighed behind her. “They all said no. They’re afraid their Spirits will punish them by perverting their second-phase powers.”

“They’re smart to have that fear. Why should I be any different?”

He moved in front of her and spoke in a low, calm voice. “Because you want to save Asermos. Maybe you want it enough to take the risk.”

She bristled at his implication. “I’m not just thinking of the danger to myself. I’m not even trained in the first phase of my Aspect. In the second phase I could accidentally destroy someone’s memory.”

He was silent for several moments, and Sura was relieved she’d found an argument to shut him up.

Then he snapped his fingers. “We could go to Tiros for you to train with their Snake, just like Dravek and Kara.”

Sura’s gut twisted at the thought of traveling with the newlyweds. But then she wouldn’t have to watch Dravek walk out of her life.

She put her face in her hands and dragged them over her scalp. She would
not
let her feelings for her Spirit-brother make her do something stupid.

“For that matter,” Etarek continued, “Tiros has a second-phase Deer. I haven’t had a mentor since mine died over a year ago.”

“Then you should go. But not with me.” She stood, focusing on her balance as she straightened. “I don’t want a baby now. It’s wrong for us and wrong for our Spirits.”

His gaze fell to the ground, and he nodded. “I’m sorry I upset you.” His hand moved as if to reach for hers, but then he dropped it before touching her. “Can I make it up to you with another dance?”

Sura thought about how being pressed against his body for several minutes might cloud her judgment. “No. I’m tired and drunk. I just want to go to sleep.”

“I’ll walk you home.” To her suspicious glance, he replied, “Just to your door.”

They skirted the bulk of the crowd and made their way down the main path toward the healer’s home. Sura thought how the entire evening had been one surreal event after another—the naked wedding, the exploding bonfire and now this outrageous proposal. She longed to end it on something simple and real.

When they reached the porch, Sura stood on the lowest stair to bring herself eye-to-eye with Etarek.

“Thank you for understanding,” she said. “You’re not so bad, even if you are crazy.”

“Thank you, I think.” He placed a foot on the stair next to her. “Slap me if this sounds awful, but I’d like to see you again. Even without—”

She slapped him.

His eyes popped wide-open, and he put a hand to his cheek. “Never mind, then.”

“No, I feel better now.” Sura leaned forward and kissed him. He made a little noise in the back of his throat, and she pulled him into a deeper kiss, burying her hands in his long, soft hair. His arms slid around her back, slowly, almost cautiously, as if he were afraid she’d run away.

When the long, languid kiss was over, he smiled at her. “Good night.” He gave a graceful bow, then walked back toward the pitiful remains of the bonfire.

Beyond him, in one of those trees, Dravek and Kara were consummating their marriage. Even the lingering sweetness of Etarek’s kiss couldn’t stop Sura from wondering whose wrists were bound to the bed.