The Reckless Secret, Complete Series (An Alpha Billionaire In Love BBW Romance) (19 page)

D
eclan Archibald was
a man of simple pleasures—give him a good whisky, a bloody steak, and some great company, and he was set.

He had all three of those things right now, and yet he felt hollow. He’d felt hollow since that day—
that day
. The day he lost everything that mattered.

“Come on, man,” Grant said, putting his steak knife down with a sigh. “You can’t mope around forever.”

“I’m not moping.”

He was definitely moping. Lovesick, they called it.
Pining
. He loved a woman who, it seemed, didn’t love him back. Who’d run away from him. Who wanted to be so far away from him that she’d left the damn country.

She’d gone to London. He only knew that because Grant had gotten overly emotional when he left rehab and started rambling on about calling his mom in London, seeing if Maggie would agree to speak to him.

Declan had immediately considered trying to get in touch with her himself, but he didn’t. Because he’d made a pact with himself. He would wait for her to come to him—not because he felt she should be the one to make an effort, but because he didn’t want to invade her space anymore. Force his presence on her. If she wanted him in her life, she’d let him know, and the least he could do was allow her time to make that decision herself.

“She’ll be back soon.”

Declan shrugged morosely. “Doesn’t mean she’ll want anything to do with me.”

Grant sighed again, raking a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

He didn’t blame Grant, not really. It had been Declan’s choice not to tell Maggie what had been going on. And now he was paying for it, just like he deserved.

“Of course, it is,” Grant said heavily. “If I’d never—if I’d been honest with her from the start… She left you because you were keeping
my
secret.”

“No. She left me because I lied to her.” Declan put his own cutlery down as a lost cause and reached for his glass. “Can’t really blame her.”

“So you’re giving up?”

“What else can I do?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Grant said, looking angry at Declan all of a sudden. “Fight for her?”

Declan huffed a mirthless laugh. “This isn’t some mushy movie, Grant. This is real life. And the fact is, I betrayed her.” He took a big gulp of his drink, feeling the burn down his throat. “We both did.”

The words hurtled Grant straight back into his bubble of self-hatred, his face clouding over and his eyes drooping with depression. Declan was almost apologetic, if he wasn’t so busy feeling sorry for himself.

“I still can’t believe what I did,” Grant muttered. “D’you think she’ll ever forgive me?”

“Yes.” There was no doubt in Declan’s mind. Grant and Maggie had a sibling bond like he’d never seen before, and nothing would ever permanently come between them—not even this. It was a bump in the road, and Maggie might struggle to find that forgiveness, but they’d get there in the end. He wished with all his heart that he could say the same for himself. “Me, on the other hand…”

“She loves you,” Grant said, not for the first time. He kept telling Declan in these sad moments, trying to give him some hope. Declan stopped believing it days ago—if he ever truly believed it at all. Seeing the flatness of Declan’s face, Grant said bracingly, “Man, come on. She left the country.”

Declan snorted bitterly. “No need to remind me.”

“But don’t you see what that means?” Grant asked, using his hands like an impassioned politician. “You and her, that was
big
to her. So big that she had to disappear halfway across the world to be away from it. She didn’t just split up with you, man,” he said pointedly, his eyes fierce with some kind of determination. “She had to leave behind everything connected to you.”

The words twanged his heartstrings, made him think, just for a moment, that there was something worth holding on to in what Grant was saying.

Then the dark cloud of truth hit him again, and he slumped his shoulders. “I’ve hurt her too badly.”

“Maybe,” said Grant, nodding. “But I know she understands it. She knows why you did what you did, and that’s all on me, not you. She’s in London because it hurts her too much to be here. Near you.”

He couldn’t deny it—there was a lot of sense in Grant’s words. Why
did
Maggie go all the way to London? Go to that effort of asking for time off work, booking flights, flying halfway across the world… No woman went to those extremes when a fling ended. She hadn’t even skipped town when she separated from Ronald, let alone left the country…

Could he be arrogant enough to assume she did it because it was too painful to be near him? Because she…felt too much when she was around him?

Or maybe it was because, as she’d told him, she couldn’t even look at him. But she didn’t have to look at him. She could’ve gone to Ashley’s. She could’ve gone to the Emersons’ second home in Vermont. She could’ve simply switched off her phone and got on with her life.

She left the whole country. The whole
continent
.

He swallowed and looked up at Grant.

“She loves me?”

Grant’s face split wide with a dazzling grin. “Yeah, she does,” he said, and Declan felt himself buoying up at his enthusiasm.

It was
possible
. Grant could be talking out of his ass; Maggie could’ve left because she hated Declan. None of this could come to anything. But there was a
possibility
, a possibility that he and Maggie should be together, and here he was, feeling sorry for himself, moping, expecting
her
to make the first move?

What kind of man did he think he was?

You want your girl
, his subconscious growled at him, like it had just woken up from the coma he’d put it in with his depression,
then you get out there and fight for her.

Like he should’ve done from the beginning.

The one woman in all the world he loved more than anything, and he was half a planet away from her.

“You got the number?” he asked Grant, chucking his napkin onto his plate and scraping his chair back. “The hotel?”

Grant followed suit, the both of them moving with purpose now, a
determination
. “Don’t really think that’s gonna cut it, y’know? A phone call.”

“I was actually gonna call for a room,” Declan said, flipping a wad of cash onto the table and flagging down a waiter for his coat. “Fly over.”

Grant tutted. “Think bigger.”

Declan stumbled to a stop and looked his best friend in the face, saw the stem of an idea written in his blazing eyes.

And yes
, of course
. Flying over to face her was never going to cut it. Not when he could put his whole goddamn heart on the line for her.

He looked at Grant hard, feeling his eyes widening. “You sure?”

“This means something to you, right?” said Grant. “You and her?”

“Means everything.”

“Then go big or go home.”

And Declan was just desperate enough to do something so crazy. It would either work, and he’d be the happiest man on the whole planet… Or it’d fail miserably, and she’d tear his heart out of his chest. No matter which way the chips fell, it’d be the perfect result, because one ending gave him the woman he loved, and the other ending gave him a punishment he severely deserved.

And both endings, no matter which one prevailed, allowed him to see her perfect face again, if only for a few minutes, and for the final time in his life.

There was no time to lose, though, and he was already sending a message to his assistant, telling her to cancel his upcoming appointments.

“Can you rally everyone?” he asked Grant as they left the restaurant. “Have them meet me at my place tomorrow?”

“You mean, Cami, Ashley…?”

“Yeah. And we need to go shopping,” he said, stepping out to the street and hailing a cab. As the car drew close, and the wind blew against the bare skin at the nape of his neck, Declan felt a frisson of doubt. He swallowed and looked at Grant. “Do you think this is gonna work?”

Grant smiled, soft and warm, in a moment of compassionate understanding. He put a hand on Declan’s shoulder. “You’re meant to be together. If she doesn’t want it, then at least you can say you gave it your all. And she deserves your all, Declan.”

Truer words had never been spoken.

He opened the cab door and gestured for Grant to go first. “And more,” he said, mind busy drawing up lists of everything he needed to do to make this happen, his stomach squirming with cautious anticipation.

M
aggie was in love
.

She’d given up trying to deny it, to squash it, to kill it off.

She loved Declan Archibald. The man owned her whole heart. He was the first thing she thought of when she woke up, and the last image to drift through her mind before she fell asleep. She’d almost called him a half dozen times, then lost her nerve. Drafted four different emails, but had no real idea what to say to him.

She did want to be with him, but she was unsure of him.

He’d betrayed her, there was no getting away from that—yet the pain of it had started fading almost immediately. He didn’t lie to her through malice. He wasn’t trying to hurt her. He was doing the opposite—trying to
spare
her. He
didn’t
want to hurt her, and he felt it was better that she hear the truth from her brother himself, and he’d been right. She never would’ve believed him, for a start, and when she finally did, she would’ve been completely floored by the fact that her brother was still trying to conceal his deception from her.

And his loyalty to Grant had put him in an even more impossible position. Either way, he had to betray someone, and while she’d taken the hit in the end, it hadn’t been because he’d chosen Grant over her. In actual fact, he’d put her feelings above what her brother wanted.

She couldn’t quite say she was over what had happened, but she no longer hated him for it. She understood him.

And yet, she was unsure of him, enough to prevent her from calling him. And it was because of one stupid, pathetic reason: he hadn’t called her. He hadn’t even tried to contact her, not since she’d ordered him out of her apartment.

She had a horrible, heavy, black feeling deep in her gut that he was no longer particularly interested in her. And she’d been humiliated enough—there was no way she was going to chase him.

But that wasn’t to say it didn’t hurt like a bitch, though.

She sighed as she came to a stop beside a flowerbed in the heart of Hyde Park, her fourth or fifth visit to this beautiful landmark in the four weeks she’d been here in London. The weather was playing along today, even offering a wash of sunlight through the clouds, but the breeze was cold enough to sink into her skin and create that odd sort of lonely feeling she often got in miserable weather.

She was lonely, here in England’s capital. Even her mother had a man to love.

Her phone rang as she took a seat on a nearby bench, and she gazed with vague bitterness at a loved-up couple sitting beneath a tree while she ignored the trilling, not in the mood to speak to anyone. It was most likely just her mom anyway, asking what she was planning to do for dinner.

It stopped ringing, and the silence allowed the sounds of nature to creep back in—the wind rustling the trees, birds chirping, a dog somewhere in the distance, barking excitedly. This part of the park wasn’t too busy, but there was enough activity to hold her attention, zone out as she watched people take their strolls, stop to admire the beauty.

Her phone rang again. With a sigh, she slipped it out of her pocket, already preparing to grump at her mom. Only it wasn’t her mom’s name on the screen—it was Cami’s.

Frowning, she answered, and Cami’s high-pitched voice came through, sounding very far away.

“Mags?”

“Cami?”

“Hey! How are you?”

“I’m…I’m good,” she said truthfully. She wasn’t full of despair anymore, at least. “Yeah. Doing much better.”

“I’m so glad to hear that.” Cami paused, then: “You ready to come home?”

Home
. It sounded good. Her own bed, work, her friends…

Declan.

She swallowed. “I don’t know, Cam. Things are still a bit…”

“Raw?”

“Yeah.”

“Heartbreak’s a bitch, isn’t it?”

Maggie laughed, short and quiet. “You’re telling me.”

After a moment, Cami said cautiously, “You thought about contacting him?”

Oh, if she only knew.

“Pretty sure if he cared all that much, he would’ve called me by now.”

“Maybe he thinks you need space.”

“By now he’s probably back out on the town, Mr. Most Eligible Bachelor once again.” It was a thought she hadn’t been able to get rid of, infecting her mind and splintering her heart. She couldn’t bear the idea of it, him flirting with other women, charming them, taking them home…

She felt sick.

“Oh, Maggie,” Cami said heavily.

“It’s fine,” Maggie said, and it was, for the most part. Except for the one thing that really mattered. “I’m fine.”

“Look, it’s a two-way street. Just because he hasn’t called you, it doesn’t mean you can’t call
him
. Life’s too short. If you find something you want, you’ve got to grab it with both hands.”

Spoken like a true woman in love.

“Yeah.” Maggie had given herself that very same lecture daily since she’d decided she was no longer angry with him, but her nerves had prevented her from following through. No matter what she tried, she couldn’t shake the image of him coldly sending her through to voice mail—or worse, answering, and then brushing her off while she laid her heart out for him. “I don’t know. I guess I just feel like that boat’s passed.”

Cami snorted a laugh as if Maggie’s words had taken her by surprise. “You can’t be serious.”

“I don’t know what I’m feeling, to be honest,” Maggie admitted, and then said it out loud, the one thing she’d kept to herself all through this: “I love him.”

It made her chest tight, and she closed her eyes, focusing on not letting the emotion bubble up and overtake her once more.

“I know you do,” Cami said sympathetically. “You’ve had a lot of time to think.”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

There was no point going into it, telling Cami all about the twisted paths her mind had taken these past four of weeks. It wouldn’t help anything, and repeating it all, putting it out there, would only remind Maggie of what she could no longer have.

Cami must have sensed her reluctance, because she drew in a breath and neatly changed the subject.

“Well listen, I know you’re not planning on missing my birthday party this weekend.”

Oh God, Cami’s birthday had completely slipped Maggie’s mind—although, to be fair, she didn’t actually know there would be a party. But she’d been out of the country and therefore away from her social scene, so she couldn’t really blame Cami for the short notice. She had a quick think about the logistics of it—flying home, jet lag, buying a gift…

“I totally forgot,” she said. “I’m so sorry.” If she got a flight tonight, she’d arrive tomorrow morning and have the day to catch up on some sleep.

“Psshh. Don’t apologize. Just get your butt back here!”

It sounded good, Maggie had to admit. Seeing her friends again, laughing, maybe having a drink or two and letting go a little. Her mother was great company, but more of the TV-and-tea type, and what Maggie needed right now was a really long appointment with her girlfriends and a bottle or three of wine.

But a party, though. It wouldn’t just be the girls. It was likely she’d see one or two other people in particular…

Her throat tightening, she asked, “Have you spoken to Grant?”

Cami’s voice softened as she responded. “He’s doing really well. The rehab program worked wonders and he seems back on track. Working, helping out at the hospital… You’d be proud of him.”

Maggie smiled, her eyes watering up.
God
, she missed her brother. Above everything, she felt the separation from Grant like one of her own limbs had been severed.

“I already am,” she said quietly, and allowed silence to fall between her and Cami for a moment.

“You’ve gotta face this sometime,” Cami said after a while, speaking gently, her voice sounding like a warm hug Maggie desperately wanted to bury herself in.

She sniffed and hitched a smile onto her face. “Birthday party, you said?”

“Yep. Drew’s gone all out. It’s gonna be amazing.”

“Then of course, I wouldn’t miss it.”