The Red Door (The Door Series Book 1) (38 page)

“No, they were ready for the owner of a BDSM Club. Not the man you know. The man who is totally open to try anything. Anything, Ari. You know that man, and you know he’s not the guy everyone sees as the owner of this club. The man who doesn’t blink when he pulls the trigger on a gun aimed at a man’s head. Has had to do it so many times that he could do it in his sleep. The man…”

“You kill men who murder. Who rape and beat women and kids. It’s not the same.”

“And do what with the victims? I rescue them, sure, but what life do they have left after I do that? Answer me that, Ari. These people aren’t from the states. I went off on missions. Where they live, most of their families shun them. Where will they go? Do you know how many begged me for a bullet? To kill them rather than return them? Beautiful women who could be models. Children who could have grown up to become so much. Do you know how many of them I risked my life for, and they took their own at the first chance they could. Or how about rescuing them from being used as a sex slave only for them to go home and give themselves to a local pimp.”

“That was their choice. Yeah, it’s a poor one, but you don’t know what they went through or what they were going through. They might have felt it was their only option, but it was their decision to make. Plus, I’m sure you didn’t just go in and rescue. You also shut down the guilty parties involved, right?”

“Don’t make me into a hero, Ari. I’m no hero.”

“To those men and women you are. And for everyone who would have been taken if you hadn’t shut those places down, you are.”

“Bullshit. What about the club, Ari? I beat women here, and I cannot say I have never gone too far and gotten off on it when I did. Hell, I zoned out last week with Alex, and nearly lost you.”

“Well, it was Alex. It’s hard not to zone out when he is involved.” I laughed hoping for a smile and received nothing.

“And what about Alex? His job’s so close to yours, and you consider what he does a great thing. How’s it any different?”

“He has rules he follows. I don’t. Yes, I do save lives, but I also take them and sometimes, sometimes Ari, the grey area I am flying in comes out more black than grey and it tarnishes you. I have been paid many a dollar to do things I’ll never admit.”

“I don’t care.” I walked up to him. “In here, you are a good guy. You have been a hero to more people than will ever know your name. And the club is what it is. It’s not the same.”

“Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know, but you and I, and Alex, we are the same. Things have fucked us up, and we are damaged. Broken in different ways, from different things, and finding the balance in each other. Alex, in his need to have what he wants most, he has to fight for it. Sometimes physically. And sometimes against it to prove that he has earned it. He got that from thinking he wasn’t worth Adam giving up his life to have to take care of him.

“You. You wanted a family so bad that you grabbed hold with two fists pulling us toward you while so scared of losing us, you were shoving us away. This fear came from losing the people you loved most.

“Me. I have had everything I ever wanted and was scared to have a relationship and end up like my father. Spoiled to the point that only illegal things could satisfy me.” I could tell how much it cost him to admit that.

“I can see it in you because I know what to look for. When you walked in that night, I saw a broken girl needing to be fixed, and I knew immediately it would be me to do it because I knew in the process you would help me. Add to that the freedom you saw in Holly’s picture. It wasn’t the freedom giving everything over. That’s not what you saw. The freedom you saw was that she had so much love and trust in someone that she would put herself in that position.” I felt my eyes water at the fact that he knew the truth of what I felt, and he still gave me an out that night.

“That was what you desired. You wanted to find someone to love that much and I wanted someone to love me for me. And I did find that in you and Alex. You both let go and accepted me. You accepted that I wanted more than a husband and wife or a Dom and sub relationship. You opened up and saw the possibilities of what was being offered with Alex and me before it was ever agreed on, and you grabbed it with all your might.” He leaned in and kissed me hard. I was so lost in the kiss that when Alex started kissing my neck I jumped.

“I heard it all. He’s right.” He turned me around looking at Mitch then back at me. “You both are right. And Angel, you grabbed us both and held tight. Binding us together. Saving us. And Ari, we’re not ever letting go.”

Three Months Later

Aurora

“Are you sure you want to do this. She has only been out of the hospital five weeks.”

“It might have been only five weeks, but with the time that she was missing and the time she spent in the hospital, it’s been three months.” I looked at Alex and knew he was only trying to protect me. I was worried about Becca. She turned up at a local hospital six weeks after she went missing. She was released into her parents’ care a week later. I had not been allowed to see her during this time. We knew very little, but enough to know that whatever had happened to her had been horrible. Even with everything, I still felt like it was my fault she was sold. It was supposed to have been me, not her. I needed to see her, to let her know how sorry I was.

“Yes, but both Brenda and David have said that she isn’t ready for company yet.”

“I’m not company, I am family and her best friend. Why can’t she see me? She can go off to a different party every night with strangers and work at the hospital, but she isn’t ready to see me. It doesn’t make sense. If it’s me, I want to hear it from her,” I told Mitch when he joined into Alex’s debate.

They had talked me out of this for weeks. I had moved on with my life even with a big chunk torn out. I found out I was pregnant two weeks after the night at the cabin. As soon as I told Alex and Mitch, they didn’t wait for me to pick a date, but loaded me up and took me to Vegas where we had an unconventional wedding. I agreed to become Mrs. James and kissed both men and watched as they kissed each other at the end of the service. They both attached a necklace around my neck with three gemstones, one for each of our birth months. It was a quick fun service, and I kept laughing at the horrible Elvis impersonator shaking his hips.

But not having Becca stand next to me hurt. Not knowing if she was even alive, I couldn’t even think of that. Finding out she survived and made it out on her own was the best news I ever heard, but it had been three months since I have seen my friend, and I needed to see her. I needed to know that she was okay.

“That may have been true, Ari, but things change. I am not going to try to talk you out of it, because I can see it would be a waste of breath. We will be here for you no matter what happens. Take it easy.” Alex had become a huge softy since I became pregnant. I was about ready to tie him down and take him rough, like I wanted to because he only wanted to make soft love now. Of course, he was spectacular at giving it to me slowly, and I loved it, but I LOVED it when he was rough and controlling. The closest I got to that was my private sneak attacks on Mitch or watching them both together.

“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rome wasn’t built in a day and all that. I know. I only want to check in.” I could feel how fast my heart was pounding, and I knew that the anxiety over this was causing my blood pressure to spike, but it couldn’t be helped.

Alex opened the door, and we walked into the Young’s house for Sunday night dinner. We didn’t bother knocking because we would have been turned away, like we were every time we had tried. But I was once told I was expected at Sunday dinner, every Sunday, by David not long ago and that this would always be my home. I was going to take advantage of those words now.

I knew Becca would be here. Michele had moved Becca out of her apartment a few weeks after she went missing. When she went into the hospital, I had gotten into her room one time before I was told to leave and that she could no longer have company. I waited for a call saying I could visit and never received one. Then I heard she came home and still no call. Last weekend Alex heard through his network that she was hanging with some bad guys and wanted to check it out. He had told me that these guys were not the type of people you fucked with. They all came with records and some were paid hit men. Their backgrounds were shady, and if they had a criminal record one week it would be gone without a trace the next, no questions asked. He said that she needed to be reined in. He was working on getting information and keeping watch, but trying to do it without her knowing.

We walked right into the dining room shocking everyone, but when I saw Becca, I think she shocked me more. Gone was her silky shoulder length caramel brown hair. Now it was short. And black. Her hair was ink black. It made her skin look pale. She also had a new nose and lip piercing, but no makeup. Who was this girl? I would never recognize her if I saw her somewhere else.

“Hi Becca. Can we talk?” My voice was soft and pleading.

“No, Angel, we don’t need to talk.” I flinched at her calling me that. She didn’t raise her voice. She didn’t seem excited or angry. She didn’t seem anything. She didn’t even look at me. After her first glance, she looked back down and pushed around her food on her plate.

“I only want to see how you are doing.” I watched as Becca set her fork down on her plate and stood. She walked around the table looking down and not making eye contact with anyone. I noticed she was wearing workout clothes and that she had lost some weight. She had always had that pretty pinup look to her, but now she looked skinny.

“As you can see I am fine,” she said to the floor when she stood in front of me. I watched as everyone cleared out slowly to let us talk.

“Good. I am happy you...” I began to whisper.

“What I am not is your friend. I do not care what you think or how you feel. You need to leave. If you want to see my family, invite them to your house or wait until I am out.” She finally looked up and into my eyes. What I saw there was nothing I had ever seen before. It shocked me. That much hate coming out at me burned. I swallowed and pushed through worrying about what she went through to put it there.

“Becca, I miss you, and I am concerned about how you are after everything. Not only have you pulled away from me, but I have heard some rumors and I am worried about how it all affected you.”

“No! No. You don’t get to tell me how I can be affected by everything that has happened to me. You have two great guys. Two. While mine is dead. Your men came rushing in to save you while my man, the one who I talked about the future with, about jobs, houses, kids, life in general, the one who proposed to me is dead. You don’t get to tell me how I should react to that. You lost that privilege when you killed him and took him away from me. Took him from coming to save me.”

“Becca, he was my friend, too. After everything that has happened you can’t honestly tell me you think...”

“Don’t! Do not fucking tell me what I can think! I know what I think! I think the man I love had a horrible childhood. Was abused over and over and he was reaching out. Like he reached out to his childhood friend after each incident when he would come to your bedroom in the middle of the night and stay over, he reached out. He reached out to you, again, and you KILLED him!” I felt the tears pouring down my face. She didn’t know anything but what the basic report had said. It was only enough to justify Mitch killing Mark, and Alex arresting his father. She didn’t know that even then he was sexually assaulting me. She didn’t know how he helped lure girls. She didn’t know how he watched kid after kid be raped. She didn’t know because I couldn’t talk about it. No one knew. I went on with my life, and all the information he told me that night I buried it. Yes, I knew Alex’s team had recovered more than what I was ever told, but they were keeping everything quiet. He informed me that when I was ready I could talk with him or Mitch, since I wouldn’t go to a therapist, but I would never have to talk to the police or go to court over any of it. That they had enough without me going into what I had endured. I was extremely relieved when he told me that, but I didn’t know what to reveal to let Becca know things were not what they seemed.

“Honey, no, he drugged you and sold you. He lied to me and drugged me. Then he tried and almost succeeded in raping me. It was me or him. Do you not think I feel awful? Becca,” I whispered. “They had to.” I was shaking and bawling at the sneer Becca gave me.

“He didn’t sell me! Your kidnappers followed us and grabbed me by mistake. And as for you, he was reaching out showing you what it was like. He would have never gone through with it. And yes, poor Ari has emotional trauma while the ones she supposedly loves have suffered real abuse at the hands of monsters. I know what it was like for him. I do. Me. Not you. You don’t fucking compare your measly adventure with what we went through. He needed you to understand what he had gone through and the toll it took from him, but he didn’t know how to communicate it verbally.” I shook my head, biting my lip to keep from saying more than I was allowed. But I wanted to yell at her, to tell her about all the girls he did sell, the ones he collected money on. Tasting blood, I let my lip go. I took a deep breath and tried again.