What were the odds of that? How could such a thing be anything but an act of God?
God
was
real after all. Watching over Earl as surely as somewhere he was watching over Anne and Molly. He struggled to his feet and he realized something else. He felt different—lighter, more alive. Gideon’s generosity had changed him, changed everything. It had brought about a miracle amidst the stench and emptiness.
Because of a child’s generosity, Earl was no longer a hopeless street person. He was a believer whose life was about to change. And the place where he stood was not the freezing wet pavement of a neglected alleyway.
It was holy ground.
A hundred ideas raced through his mind. Things he wanted to do. Things he needed to do … now that he believed. He made a mental list, almost bursting with excitement at what the days ahead might bring.
Then another thought occurred to him. All of this had happened three days before Christmas! The same day that he’d lost everything five years ago.
His knees shook. Without waiting another minute, he strode toward his shanty home. This time he kept his eyes up, soaking in everything about the city. The damp air and bare maple trees, the cold stone walls and fancy Adidas billboard. The blanket of lights that marked the hills around downtown. Even the trash cans behind Tara’s Diner, the place where he scrounged soggy French bread and leftover lasagna when the mission wasn’t serving.
He wanted to remember it all. Because with God’s help, in a very few days he would leave the streets for good. And he never wanted to forget the place where God had found him.
But there was one thing he had to do before leaving. Tomorrow he would find D.J. at the mission and ask him about the child. He owed her his life, after all. Her gift had given him more than he could ever repay. But at least he could apologize, and certainly he could thank her.
The way he should have when the child handed him the gift.
T
hat night after Earl had tucked himself beneath his new tarp, after he’d kissed the woolen palms of his gloves and bid his girls good night, he didn’t dream about the past. Neither did he sleep. Rather, he stayed awake, wide-eyed, and dreamed of something he hadn’t thought about in five years: his future. A future he believed in. One that was suddenly as real as God himself.
And as possible as a Christmas miracle.
G
ideon lay as still as she could.
Not just because it hurt too much to move. But because the doctor said she should rest if she wanted to get better. And she wanted that very much. If she was even a little better the doctor said she could go home tomorrow—Christmas Eve—and spend a few days with her family.
She angled her head and stared out the window. The rain was gone, but the clouds were still there. Snow clouds, maybe. Dustin had said the kids at school were talking about snow. Lots of snow. Everyone wanted a white Christmas.
She sank deeper into the pillow. Snow didn’t matter. She couldn’t play outside anyway. But if the weather got that cold, where would Earl go? Where did people with-and out homes sleep when the ground was covered with snow?
If only he’d opened the gift. Then at least his hands would be warm.
She thought back to that day at the secondhand store. She’d wanted the gift to be perfect, but until she saw the red gloves she hadn’t been sure what to get him. She had walked the aisles with her father looking at socks and a flashlight and an old blanket. The socks hadn’t seemed thick enough and the flashlight had needed batteries. The old blanket cost too much. Daddy said lots of stuff at the secondhand store wasn’t practical for a man like Earl.
Then she’d found the gloves.
They were soft and thick and red like Christmas. Her father had said they were long enough for a man’s hands. Even a big man like Earl. Gideon figured they’d help Earl stay warm on the streets. She also figured they’d make him believe again.
That’s why she’d asked her mom to help her sew the word inside both of them.
Believe.
Because that’s what she wanted for Earl more than warm hands. That he might believe again.
If he had only opened the gift that night at the mission. Maybe then it would have happened. And she would have had her Christmas miracle. The one she’d prayed for.
But it was too late now. Christmas was almost here. D.J. from the mission had told her dad last night that Earl wasn’t wearing the gloves when he came for dinner. No one knew what he’d done with her gift, or if he’d ever opened it.
So there’d been no miracle after all, even though she’d believed with her whole heart. A tear rolled onto her cheek and she brushed it away with her fingertips. Her teacher must have been wrong. Christmas miracles didn’t happen to those who believed. They didn’t happen at all. Maybe they were just part of the olden days, like in the Bible.
She breathed out and it sounded sad in the quiet room. She was pretty sure she was sicker than before, because her parents cried all the time. When she’d first come to stay in the hospital one of them was always with her. But after a few days they’d had to go to work and Dustin had to go to school. Now they came every night. They would hold her hands, play with what was left of her hair, and turn their backs when they had to cry. She pretended not to notice. They had cried a lot last rime she got sick, too. When she let their tears worry her, it only made them sadder.
There was a pain in her leg. She moved it. Sometimes sliding it to another spot on the sheets made it feel better. Not today, though. She made a face and watched a bird land on her windowsill.
“Hi, little birdie.” Her words were slow and quiet. “Hi.” The bird hopped two times and flew away.
She stared at the clouds again. The pain wasn’t so bad when she didn’t think about it.
The thing was this time it hurt worse. Not in one spot, but all over. Sort of like a flu bug. And things her parents had said lately made her think maybe this time she was sicker. Once in a while when they thought she wasn’t listening, the doctor would talk to her mom and dad about something called a transplant. She had heard that word before, but she didn’t know what it was.
Maybe a medicine or a special tool that would make her better.
She wasn’t sure, but whatever it was it cost too much. Otherwise the doctor would have already given it to her. That was okay. God was with her, and he would take care of her no matter what happened.
But God, whatever happens to me, please let me go home for Christmas.
Of course, she might not get better. Kids died from cancer sometimes. Once when she and her dad had gone over for a treatment, a man and woman were crying in the waiting room. She hadn’t meant to stare, but she couldn’t help it. Later she asked her nurse why the people were sad.
“Their daughter died this morning,” the nurse told her.
“Died?”
“Yes. She’d been fighting cancer for three years.” There were lines on the nurse’s forehead and her eyes looked tired. “Today she lost the battle.”
After that Gideon had had a different way of thinking about cancer. It wasn’t just a bad sickness, like a long cold or an ear infection. It was a battle. And if you lost the battle, you could die.
She yawned.
Death would be sad because she would miss her mom and dad and Dustin. But it wouldn’t be scary. Her parents had always talked about heaven and in the secret places of her heart, she was sort of excited to go there. Streets of gold. No more pain. No more tears. Besides, one day her family would be there, too.
After she knew the truth about cancer and how bad it could be, she wanted her parents to know she wasn’t afraid. She’d told them a few days ago when she was first put in the hospital.
“Heaven will be wonderful, don’t you think?” She’d looked straight up, first at her mother, then at her father.
Her dad squeezed her hand. “Sure, honey, it’ll be great.” His eyes were red and wet, and when he smiled his chin moved up and down. “But not for a long time, okay?”
“So we can all go together, you mean?”
“That’s right, sweetheart.”
As good as heaven seemed, her dad was probably right. It’d be better to wait until they were all old. That way they could be there together without having to wait.
She yawned again and turned onto her side. She was tired all the time lately, but that was a good thing. When she slept she had the most wonderful dreams. She felt her body relax. The sounds and lights and even the pain began to go away.
Gradually she fell asleep and a glorious city appeared before her eyes. Sparkling gold buildings and bright blue streams that ran along either side of the street. Up ahead was a man she didn’t quite recognize. She took a few steps forward, then a few more, and suddenly she could see the man’s face. It was Earl! Only his clothes weren’t tattered and his face was smooth. He wasn’t angry, either. In fact … Yes! She took a step closer and she could see it was true. He was smiling! And there was something different in his eyes. She tried to think of what it was …
Earl believed! That was it, she was sure. His eyes looked all glowing and clean.
Then Earl turned around and started to leave.
“Wait! Don’t go!” she called after him, but he didn’t hear her.
“You will stay, Gideon.”
“Who said that?” She spun around and there, beside her, was a tall man with shining hair.
He reached for her hand. “You’ll like it. We have a palace ready for you.”
What was this place? And why weren’t her parents here? What about Earl? If he could leave, why couldn’t she?
Then she realized where she was. Of course. She was in heaven. Cancer had won the battle and now she was here. It wasn’t supposed to feel sad, but it did. Just a little. Not because it wasn’t wonderful, but because her mom and dad and Dustin weren’t here. And that meant somewhere they were crying and missing her.
Just like she missed them.
“Earl!” she called after him once more and this time he turned around.
“Gideon. I thought that was you.” He stayed in his spot, far away. But she could still see his face. He looked like maybe he was crying. “Thank you, Gideon. Thank you so much. Thank you … thank you … thank you … ”
His voice got quieter with each word. Gideon shook her head, confused. She looked up at the tall man beside her. “Why’s he telling me thank you?”
The man said nothing. A smile moved across his face and he pointed back at Earl.
This time when she looked she saw something she hadn’t before and she breathed in sharp and quick.
He was wearing the gloves! The red gloves she’d given him for Christmas!
She tugged on the hand of the man beside her. “Look at his hands!” Her happy heart lifted her and she began to fly around the golden city like an angel.
Earl was wearing the red gloves!
From her place in the clouds she looked at Earl once more to make sure it was true. It was. Earl waved at her with both arms and smiled again as he disappeared through a gate in the city. Gideon came down from the clouds and landed near the tall man, but his voice began to fade. In fact, everything was fading. The man with the shining hair, the golden city, and even the road she was standing on.
B
it by bit the light returned and Gideon opened her eyes. A nurse stood beside her with a fresh bag of medicine. She wasn’t in heaven; she was in the hospital. Earl hadn’t changed. He’d probably never even opened her gift.
It had all been a dream. But that fact didn’t leave her sad like after other dreams. Because this time she had a feeling God was trying to tell her something very special.
Christmas miracles weren’t just for the old days.
They were for now. For anyone with faith enough to look for them. Gideon smiled to herself as the nurse hooked the medicine bag to a tube in her arm. Yes, Christmas miracles still happened. God had let her see Earl, after all.
The way he still could be, still might be.
If only he would believe.
T
his time Earl didn’t take them off.When sunup came, Earl wore the red gloves as he made his way a block south to an old gas station. There, for two dollars, a man could shower, shave, and run a clean comb through his hair. Earl scrounged up the money from his knapsack and did all three.
Then he headed for the mission.
D.J. was in his office looking at his computer when Earl knocked on the door.
“Yes.” The mission director looked up, his expression blank.
Earl resisted a smile. “You don’t recognize me?”
The man narrowed his piercing blue eyes. “Earl?” His eyebrows lifted so far they looked like part of his hairline. He stood, came around his desk, and shook Earl’s hand. The man’s smile was as much a part of his face as his eyes and nose. “I can’t believe it! You look twenty years younger. I guess I’ve never seen you without a beard. It’s a nice change.”
“It’s not the only one.”
D.J. leaned against his desk. “Really?”
“Yes.” Earl’s heart ricocheted off the insides of his chest like a pool ball. “God found me last night, D.J. He found me good.”
He saw a dozen questions flash in D.J.’s eyes. “It wasn’t a church service or anything like that.” He paused. The shame of how he’d treated the child was still painfully fresh. “It was the kid. That little girl.”
“Girl?”
Earl dropped his gaze to the floor. What was her name? Why couldn’t he remember it? He couldn’t afford to sound delusional, not now. “You know, the girl. Brown hair, deep eyes. Wooly hat. She was here with her family at the Christmas dinner. Gave me a gift.”
“Oh.” A knowing look filled the man’s face. “You mean Gideon.”
“Gideon. Yes, that’s it.” Earl swallowed hard. “I need to thank her. Today. Before another hour goes by.”
D.J.’s eyes bunched up and he took a step backwards. “Earl, I don’t think—”
Earl waved his hand and cut him off. “I know there’s privacy rules, but I don’t need her last name or phone number. You can make the call.” Earl’s fingers began to shake. “You don’t understand.” He licked his lips and grabbed two quick breaths. “I was terrible to her, rude and mean and … and just awful.”