The Redemption of Callie and Kayden (8 page)

mom’s car is buried in a foot of snow and my dad’s truck has

chains on the tires.

I pull my knees up and station the notebook on them before

pressing the tip of the pen to the paper.

I dream that I get to have cake before Caleb takes me into

my room. When I blow out the candles and make a wish, I wish to

have the happiest and best birthday in the world and the wish

comes true. Caleb never shows up that day to hang out with my

brother, and I get to play hide-and-go seek outside with the other

kids. I rip open paper and smile at my presents.

Lately in the dream, instead of making a wish for myself, I

make a wish for Kayden. I wish that he never met me and that he

never learned my secret. I wish that he never had any reason to

beat up Caleb and that he never ended up on the floor, bleeding

to death.

I wish for happiness in a world full of sorrow.

There’s always so much pain and I wish for all of it to be

gone.

Of course, wishes are just wishes, just hope for a speck of

light in a dark field.

When I analyze my wish for Kayden, I get terrified at what it

means. If I’m willing to take brokenness and shattering of my

childhood in exchange for the removal of his, then how deep are

my feelings for him? And am I ready to handle them?

I pause to think about what I wrote and I spot my mother

walking out the side door of the house as she tromps through the

snow toward the garage. I let go of the pen and it falls to the floor.

I glance over at Seth sleeping in the bed and then I panic, hop up,

grab my jacket and phone, and run out the door. She’s reaching

the top of the stairs when I shut the door.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” She hugs her arms around herself

and bounces up and down as she shivers.

I slip my arms through the sleeves of my jacket and flip my

hair over the collar. “Yeah, I was just getting ready to head inside.”

My mom glances out at the mountains and the sky is tinted

pink from the sunrise and reflects in her eyes. “You’re up early.”

Her brown hair blows in the breeze as she looks at me. Even

though it’s been only about a month since I’ve seen her, she’s

aged a lot, but that might be because she’s in her pajamas and her

hair and makeup aren’t done. “I don’t remember you being a fan

of getting up early.”

I shrug as I zip up the jacket and then pull the hood over my

head and hug my arms around myself and shiver. “I slept in the

truck during the drive over here,” I lie. “So I wasn’t very tired.”

She eyes me over with skepticism. “Who gave you a ride

here?”

I’m wary to answer. “Um, Luke.”

“Luke who?”

“Luke… Price.”

Her shoulders stiffen and she wraps her robe tighter around

herself. “Kayden’s friend?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

She thrums her fingers restlessly against her hips as she

clenches her jaw and stares at the door to the garage, trying to see

through the frosted window. “Callie, I don’t want you hanging

around Kayden.”

The wind decides to kick up and snowflakes sting my skin as

they swirl around us in a flurry. The wind howls against my

eardrums and the reflection of the daylight discomforts my eyes.

“Why?” I chatter, rocking my body to attempt to keep warm.

“Because I don’t want you having any association with

Kayden.” She looks at me and I see loathing in her eyes. Or maybe

it’s fear. “He’s obviously got a temper and even your father said he

was trouble when he was on the team.”

“I doubt dad said that,” I argue. “He always liked Kayden. And

besides, you talk to Kayden’s mother.”

“Not by choice.” There’s judgment in my mother’s eyes like

she’s blaming Maci Owens for Kayden’s mistake. If that’s the case,

would she blame herself if I told her what happened to me?

I hide my hands in my sleeves and tip my chin down into the

collar of my jacket. I’m wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and the

fabric is thin and the cold air easily trickles through. “Can we go

inside and talk about this? It’s cold.”

She glances at the door of the room above the garage again

and then redirects her attention to me. “Is your friend in there? The one who…” She lowers her voice and her eyelashes flutter against

the snowflakes gusting around us. “The one who likes guys?”

I sigh, turn sideways, and squeeze between her and the

railing without uttering an answer. Thankfully, she follows me and

Seth is off the hook. At least for now.

When I walk into the kitchen, that night smashes into my

chest, the night Jackson sat at the table eating pie and Caleb

tormented me with my secret. The night Kayden found out who

broke me. The night where he let me cry and then slipped out of

my life as effortlessly as if he were made of sand.

I walk over to the cupboard and take out a bowl and a box of

cereal. I set the bowl down on the counter and open the box as my

mom walks in, letting the cold air and snow in. She slams the door

and then slips off her boots beside the door and winds around the

table, heading across the kitchen toward me.

“I was going to make you breakfast.” She reaches for the

drawer above the oven that holds the pans.

I shake my head as I pour cereal into the bowl. “That’s okay.

I’m not hungry enough to eat a big breakfast.”

She drops her arm to her side and scans my tiny frame. “You

look like you’re losing weight again.”

I look down at my short legs and my petite waist hidden

under my pajamas. “I’m just stressed out.”

“Stressed out over what?” she asks. “About school? Or about

what happened with your friend?”

I can’t hold it in. It’s too much and it’s pissing me off. “Oh,

now he’s my friend, but back when you first found out, you were

so excited we were a couple. In fact, I think you told everyone in

the whole damn town.”

“Watch your language.” She reties her pink rob and gathers

her hair out of her face. “Callie Owens, you will not talk to me that way.” She turns around and extends her arm toward the cupboard

that holds all her prescription medication. “This is my house and

while you’re here you will follow my rules.”

I close the cereal box, stirring in my fury. “I’m eighteen years

old and I can be friends with whomever I want.”

She grabs one of the bigger bottles and slowly turns around

to face me with her hand over the lid. “Even ones who beat up

your brother’s best friend.”

I dig my nails into the granite countertops as the pain of the

last six years chokes my oxygen away. “That’s all you care about?

Caleb?” His name tastes toxic in my mouth.

She battles to unscrew the lid from the bottle, pressing the

bottom against her hand as she squeezes the lid with her fingers.

“Callie, Caleb has been part of this family since he was six years

old. You know his parents barely talk to him. We’re the only family

he has.”

“I don’t give a shit about Caleb!” I shout and my lungs nearly

combust. But it feels good. Really, really good. I press my hand to

my chest, calmly let go of the countertop, and straighten my

shoulders. “I’m going to go out to breakfast with Seth.”

Her eyes are amplified and her lips start to part in protest,

but the look on my face quiets her. She cinches her mouth shut as

the lid slips off the bottle. “Fine, have fun.” The pills rattle as she pours a couple into the palm of her hand.

I put the cereal back in the cupboard, set the bowl in the

sink, and hurry out the back door. I run across the driveway and

jog up the steps of the two-story garage. When I open the door,

I’m surprised to find Seth sitting on the edge of the bed, awake

and dressed in a red T-shirt and a pair of dark denim jeans.

“You’re up,” I say as I shut the door.

He tousles his hair into place with his fingers. “I woke when

you ran out of here like there was a fire. What was up with that?”

I shuck my jacket off, ball it up, and toss it onto the bed. “I

saw my mother heading out here and I didn’t want you to have to

deal with her.”

He hooks his watch onto his wrist as he wanders over to his

shoes that are at the foot of the bed. “Callie, no matter how many

jokes we make, I can handle your mom.” He slips his foot into his

boot. “Trust me, if I can handle my own mom, then I can definitely

handle yours.”

I frown as I sink down onto the edge of the bed. “But you

haven’t talked to your mom since you told her about Greyson.”

He shrugs as he laces up his shoe and fastens a knot. “She’ll

get over it. It’ll just take some time, just like it did when I told her I was gay.”

I flop back onto the bed and drape my arm over my

forehead. “How do you decide what’s worth telling your parents

and what’s not?”

He’s silent for a while and then I hear his footsteps as he

walks around to my side of the bed. He lifts my arm off my head

and looks down at me. “If you’re asking me if I think you should

tell your parents about what happened with Caleb, then the

answer is yes. I think you should.”

He releases my arm and I lean up on my elbows. “How can

you be so sure?” My mouth sinks to a frown. “She could get mad

at me. Or she could hate herself as much as I hate… hated myself.”

Seth brushes my bangs out of my eyes with his fingers.

“Callie, if she hates herself for a while, then she hates herself for a while. You’ve been carrying around the burden for the last six

years and it’s about time someone else took a little bit of the

weight off of you.”

“I’m not sure I can,” I whisper, clutching at the dull ache

inside my chest. “There’s just so much… so much acceptance in

telling her the truth.”

“Like you might have to accept that it’s finally real?”

I nod as I gaze at the clear sky outside. The sunlight is

beaming down on the houses across the street. Sunlight is a rare

occurrence in Afton, but maybe it’s a sign that not everything is

caped in darkness. That light does exist even in the darkest of

corners.

He moves back as I sit up and head for my bag on a fold-up

chair near the door. “I was thinking we could go out to breakfast

this morning. There’s this café in town that has the best pancakes

in the world.” I take a purple shirt out of the bag and a pair of

jeans.

“I was thinking we could go see Kayden first,” Seth says as he

texts something on his phone.

“But he’s not allowed visitors.” I hold my clothes to my chest

and head for the bathroom to change.

“Yeah, he is.” Seth sets his phone down on his knee and

takes a deep breath. “I just got a text from Luke saying that not

only is Kayden allowed to have visitors but he’s leaving the facility today.”

I stop in the middle of the room as reality finally catches up

with me. Although I’d never admitted it aloud, I’d wondered if I’d

ever see Kayden again. That maybe he didn’t even exist and that

everything that had happened between us was just my

imagination attempting to force my mind to thrive again. “Should

we wait for him to get out and then go see him?” I stare at the

open bathroom door.

The mattress squeaks as Seth gets up from the bed and

steps into my line of vision. “I think we should go pick him up.

Luke said that his mother’s supposed to and then she’s going to

take him home, but he thinks we should go pick him up and take

him somewhere.”

I raise my chin up and meet his eyes. “Like kidnap him?”

Seth laughs at me and his face turns red and his eyes water

over. “He’s nineteen years old, Callie. We can’t kidnap him if he

wants to go.”

“But isn’t he supposed to be being watched?”

“What? At his parents’ house? With his dad?”

I free an unsteady breath from my lungs. “But I worry that we

might be doing more harm than good… running away.”

Seth steps closer to me, places his hands on my shoulders,

and fixes his eyes on me. “You want to know what I think? I think

that you’re afraid.”

I hug my clothes tighter against my chest because I need to

hold onto something. “Of what?”

“About hearing the whole story about that night. I think

you’re afraid of the truth.”

“But what is the truth exactly?” I ask.

Seth gives a lopsided smile and gently shakes my shoulders.

“That’s for you to find out because he needs you.”

He’s right. I’m afraid of everything that night holds and that

I’ll have to admit that it’s my fault. I’m afraid I’ll learn that Kayden was really trying to kill himself, trying to leave me alone in the

world. That he’ll leave me again, and I need him like I need air.

“Where will we take him, though?” I wonder. “My mom’s

made it really clear that she doesn’t want him here.”

A devilish grin spreads across his face. “You leave that to me.

All you need to do is bring your bag and tell your mom you’re

going to be gone for a couple of days.”

My eyebrows dip together. “You’re not going to tell me

where we’re going?”

His grin widens and his hands leave my shoulders and

reunite with his sides. “It’s called a surprise road trip, Callie.”

I drag my hand across my face. “You think that’s a wise idea,