The Reluctant Amazon (Alliance of the Amazons) (16 page)

Becca.

She would give him the stability he sought, his beacon in the
darkness. She was exactly what he needed, and right now he needed her like he
needed life itself.

* * *

The dark water lazily circled the shower drain. Rebecca
wanted to banish the thick crustiness on her skin, feeling as if she would never
be clean again. Her blood. Trishna’s blood. Revenant blood. A macabre mixture.
She could feel the caked mess as she ran her hands over her hair, her arms, her
face.

Placing her palms against the tile and bowing her head, she
stopped fighting her feelings. Her body shook as she wept, and her bitten
shoulder throbbed. She hadn’t known Trishna and could only wonder at how
devastated Sparks must be. Their Amazon bond was strained, the overwhelming
emotions of their loss blocking the sisterly connection.

Rebecca let the grief and frustration of the day go, hoping to
keep her weakness from Sparks and Megan so she wouldn’t add to their burden. She
would hide the magnitude of what she felt from Artair as well. She didn’t want
him to still think she was weak.

Lifting her face, she let the heated water caress her cheeks
and wash away the pain, replacing it with worry as Sparks’s words came back to
haunt her. Despite the warmth of the water, a chill ran through her.

Something bad is after us, hunting us like
animals. Something really, really bad.

But how could it get any worse than today?

She touched her wound. The zombie had gotten more neck than
actual shoulder. So close to her jugular. She trembled as she recalled the
revenant biting into Trishna’s neck, sending the Amazon’s blood spurting in all
directions as her life bled out on the walls and floor of that abandoned
warehouse.

Worse. It could get much, much
worse.

Rebecca heaved a shuddering sigh, turned off the water and
reached outside the shower stall. Fumbling her hand along the wall, seeking out
her towel, her fingers finally brushed terrycloth. Then they passed over a hand.
A human towel bar. The baritone chuckle and calloused skin were definitely not
what she’d expected. She quickly covered her body, wrapping the terrycloth
around her and tucking the corner between her breasts.

Stepping out of the shower, she resisted the urge to throw
herself into Artair’s arms like some frightened child. She was an Amazon, damn
it. She wasn’t supposed to fall apart. Surely he hadn’t needed to hug Megan or
Sparks.

But then his eyes went all soft and welcoming and he opened
those strong arms.

She went to him so fast, she stumbled into his embrace. He
wrapped himself around her, holding her close. Then he kissed the top of her
head.

“How are you, Becca mine?” His hand lightly touched her injured
shoulder. “Have you recovered from battle?”

She snorted an unladylike laugh. “Battle? It wasn’t much of a
battle.
I killed a couple of people who were
already dead.”

“You handled yourself well. You made me proud. ’Twas me who was
disgraced.”

Pushing a little distance between their bodies, Rebecca looked
up into those handsome green eyes. The hurt there ran through her heart as if it
were her own pain. “You didn’t disgrace yourself.”

“I lost an Amazon.”

“No, you didn’t.
We
lost a sister.
We
all
lost a sister.”

Artair rewarded her by hugging her tighter.

“You saved my life, Artair.”

He still didn’t reply.

“It’s not your fault Trishna died. It’s not my fault, either.
Or Sparks’s or Megan’s. There’s only one person to blame. Her death was Jin’s
fault.”

He didn’t even offer one of his typical growls or grunts to
acknowledge the situation at the warehouse had been beyond their control. She
couldn’t let him shoulder the blame.

“It’s not your fault, either, Artair.” She could hear the
frustration in her own voice and tried to temper it. “It’s
not.
” She hugged him harder.

“Let me take you back to your cabin. We face a difficult day.
You should get some sleep.”

“Why are you leaving me? Why are you leaving Avalon?” She
hadn’t meant to ask, wanting to save that discussion until later when emotions
weren’t spinning nearly out of control. Except she couldn’t help herself. The
hurt of knowing he was going away felt too raw. She needed to understand.

His heavy sigh lasted a full five seconds. “I am fast
approaching my birthday.”

“What does that have to do with why you’re leaving?”

His hands stroked her back. “Lass, do you know how long I have
lived, all that I’ve seen? Death. Destruction. I need to know there will someday
be an end, that one day I shall rest. A Sentinel cannot die. Not unless his
heart is pierced. I don’t want to live forever for ’tis as much a curse as a
blessing.”

Rebecca swallowed sympathetic tears, somehow knowing he didn’t
need to hear her cry. Yet her heart ached for him, for everything he’d been
through.

“Do you know how I came to be in Rhiannon’s service?”

“You never told me.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever told anyone. My brother was murdered by
the English. Oh, the history books call it a battle, but Culloden Moor was
nothing but a slaughter.”

She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. “Oh, Artair. I’m so
sorry.”

“As we sorted through the dead and wounded, I found Darian, but
it was too late. Some English pig had buried a sword in his gut. He shouldnae
have been there. The lad’s hand had been crippled from birth, he didnae need to
fight. I should’ve been looking out for him. I should have… But it was too
late.”

Every word was like a stab to her heart. “It’s
not
your fault.”

“Aye, ’twas my fault, and I kenned it. I was his older brother,
but I’d raised him from his third summer when our parents died with the fever. I
was more like his father, and I was his laird. I should have made sure he stayed
behind as I ordered. When I saw his lifeless eyes, I fell to my knees and begged
that he be spared. I promised anything—even my own life—to bring him back.
Rhiannon heard me and offered a chance to save Darian in return for teaching her
warriors. I didnae give it a second thought. I’ve been Sentinel since that
day.”

“Did you ever see him again?”

“Nay. ’Tis forbidden. Rhiannon would have wiped his thoughts of
ever knowing me. She’d do the same for my entire clan.”

“If you’ve been Sentinel for so long, why leave now?”

His fingers tangled in her wet hair. “I want my mortality back.
I want a family, Becca. A wife. A son. A home. I want the things I can never
have as Sentinel. When the lasses return to the world, the loneliness is
sometimes more than I can bear.”

She’d always wanted the same. A family.
She
could be his wife.
She
could give
him a son.
She
could make a beautiful home for him.
If only she wasn’t an Amazon…

The fickle Fates had chosen another path for her, just as they
were guiding Artair on a road that led away from the Amazons. From her.

“I understand.” But she didn’t.

“On my birthday, I shall be only a few years shy of three
hundred years.”

Rebecca bit the inside of her cheek to keep from speaking. What
must it have been like to experience so much change in the world? How many
people had he loved and lost? Dozens? Hundreds? How many graves had he stood
over, wishing it would be the last? How many years had he spent alone?

When had a man lived too long?

Perhaps three centuries.

“I’m not leaving
you,
Becca mine.
I’m going back to a life, to being a man. I cannot bury another generation. I
cannot lose Sparks. I cannot lose—” A deep, shuddering sigh swept through him.
“You best get some rest, lass. ’Tis a new day, and the other Amazons and yer new
Sentinel will be here before evening.”

With an obedient nod, Rebecca pulled away. Staring up into his
eyes, she smoothed her fingertips over his whisker-covered cheeks and tried to
find words to explain the weight he’d put on her heart, to explain how much she
had come to love him.

And she did love him—more than the stubborn Scot would ever
know. More than she’d realized until that very moment. Oh, yes, she loved
him.

But she wouldn’t be a burden, an undertow dragging him to a
future he didn’t desire. She opened her mouth to speak, but she didn’t trust
what would spill from her lips. Would she release him? Or would she beg him to
stay?

She fled to the silence of her cabin.

Chapter Fifteen

They laid Trishna to rest on the gently sloping
hillside reserved as the blessed burial grounds for Amazons. Rebecca hadn’t
expected any kind of religious service, but she was surprised all four of the
goddesses showed up.

Their diversity was striking. Exotically beautiful, Ganga wore
a black sari and her hair was woven into a thick, dark braid that brushed her
hips. Although Ix Chel had the same ebony hair, it was straight and sleek. Her
clothing brought to mind Mexico—a flowing brown skirt and an ivory peasant shirt
embroidered with shimmering threads. Her skin was the color of caramel.

As light as the other goddesses were dark, Rhiannon and Freya
were dressed in their customary medieval gowns. Rhiannon’s was white and
probably disrespectful considering the circumstances. Her hair fell around her
shoulder in a riot of blond curls. At least Freya’s navy blue was more
appropriate, and she’d contained her white-blond hair in a whisper-thin
veil.

Rhiannon stared down at the simple pine coffin. “A first, I
believe.”

Freya arched a quizzical eyebrow. “What say you?”

“’Tis odd to bury Air and Water before Fire. Seems as though
your Amazon is usually the first to perish.”

“That is enough.” Ganga set her hands against her slender hips
and narrowed her eyes at Rhiannon and Freya. “Today is for remembering my
Trishna. This is neither the time nor place for your petty quarrels.”

Ix Chel gave her long skirt and angry swish. “We tire of the
conflict between you two. I beg you to remember how we came together. How we
hoped our warriors could do good in this world.”

Rhiannon folded her arms under her breasts and raised her chin.
“I merely pointed out that I have stood over far too many graves that were dug
to inter a Fire Amazon. I meant no disrespect.”

Freya turned her back but thankfully held her tongue.

Sparks stood as still as a statue through the goddesses’ entire
exchange, so still Rebecca feared the Guardian might faint.

“How you doing?” Rebecca asked.

Sparks dismissed her with a shrug.

Megan hadn’t shed any tears, either, standing in the same stoic
silence as the woman she admired.

Ganga held a hand over the open grave. “Today, we bid our
farewells to a great Amazon. Cross over to the next life, Trishna, and know we
shall keep your memory in our hearts.”

Rebecca let a sob slip out, not even bothering to silence it
when her goddess shot her an embarrassed frown. The tears came as she mourned
the loss of a sister she never had the chance to know.

Ganga turned, pressing her palms together and bowing to the
Amazons. “I depend upon you to find justice for the brave woman we lost today.”
She disappeared in a shimmer.

Ix Chel spared them a weak smile and a nod before she too left
the grave.

Freya went to Megan and tucked a strand of red hair behind her
ear. “Do not fear Rhiannon’s words. You are Fire, Megan. You are the strongest
of the Amazons.” And then Freya was gone.

Rebecca waited for Rhiannon to toss back a retort, but without
so much as a farewell she left in a flash of light.

A resigned sigh slipped out. Perhaps one day she would be
worthy in Rhiannon’s eyes. But not today.

Sparks took a step to the edge of the open grave, held her
palms out and shot flames so intense Rebecca had to turn her head and take a
step back. The streams of fire made an inferno of Trishna’s coffin. All anyone
could do was watch as the pine box burned.

After several long minutes, Sparks fisted her hands to stop the
fire. “Trishna hated the dark. I promised that I—I couldn’t leave her in that
box. I couldn’t—” She shook her head and hurried away from the grave.

* * *

Rebecca waited for the arrival of the other Amazons. The
trees were whipped into a frenzy worthy of Rhiannon by the rotation of the
helicopter’s blades. She shielded her eyes against the flying dirt and leaves.
The blinding lights coming from the craft illuminated the dark courtyard.

Her sisters were on that flight, as was her Sentinel. Her new
Sentinel.

She pushed that thought right out of her head, not wanting it
to spoil what she hoped would be a time of bonding with the two new women. Two
women who, along with Megan, shared her destiny.

Megan was so excited, small sparks shot from her head in bursts
of red and white. Rebecca reached out and grabbed her hand. Megan nodded, then a
frown crossed her face as she glanced over each shoulder. She was looking for
Sparks. Rebecca had been doing the same thing all day.

After Trishna’s service, she’d indulged in a nap. That nap
turned out to be more nightmare than restful sleep as Trishna’s gruesome death
scene repeated in her head. She doubted she would forget a moment of it for as
long as she lived, nor would she forget what a revenant could do if allowed to
get too close. The image of Trisha’s throat torn open had sent a shudder through
her. The scars on her own shoulder would serve as a stalwart reminder.

When she’d pulled her weary body from her bed with the setting
of the sun, she felt uneasy. Not sure if the feeling came from the lingering
remnants of her nightmare or from one of the other Amazons, she’d wanted to find
Sparks, needing to see for herself how her mentor was handling the loss of
another sister.

Sparks’s cabin had been empty, the bed untouched. She had to be
in Avalon—if she left the compound, she wouldn’t be able to find her way home.
Although the Amazons were Jin’s targets, they were protected by Avalon’s
magicks.

Surely if Sparks was in danger, Rebecca would feel it. Yet
their bond had become more and more distant, seemingly by the minute. Before she
could search the camp, the pulsing sound of the helicopter had drawn her to the
courtyard.

Rebecca’s stomach churned in rhythm with the thrumming beat of
the rotating blade. How would the new Amazons fit in at Avalon? How would the
new Sentinel change her life? Resisting the urge to run and find Artair so he
could soothe away her fears, she squared her shoulders, straightened her spine
and strengthened her resolve.

She knew what the new Amazons looked like, having spent hours
talking with them online, coaxing them to continue the charade of swapped
identities. Gina and Sarita had always seemed plenty game to follow through.
Teasing the new Sentinel gave Megan more pleasure than anything—other than a
good sword fight. The diversion was probably going to come to a swift conclusion
once the helicopter touched down. Johann would figure the whole thing out once
fireworks popped out of Megan’s hair and fingertips.

He piloted the helicopter, something she hadn’t expected having
never considered the extent of the Sentinel’s talents. He’d confessed to Artair
that he lacked prowess with a sword, and perhaps helping Johann would let Artair
see his own value. Maybe he wouldn’t feel like an antique as she knew he did
whenever he’d used her computer. He hadn’t even allowed one to be installed in
his cabin.

Beagan and Dolan appeared, morphing from rabbits to stand next
to her. The instant the chopper landed, they hurried to the door, their short
stature giving them no need to duck the whirling blades.

Dolan opened the door, and Gina Himmel exited first, her short
brown hair defying gravity as the wind whipped it every direction. Dressed in
one of the sports jerseys that seemed to be her usual choice in attire, today
she declared her allegiance to the Indianapolis Colts. With an enormous smile,
she tossed her bag to Dolan, ducking as she moved toward Rebecca and Megan.

Gina embraced them both, spreading her long arms wide, grabbing
each by the neck and pulling them against her shoulders. Taller than Rebecca had
imagined, at least a good six feet, she appeared every inch the tomboy.

As soon as Gina let her loose, Rebecca turned back to the
helicopter to watch Beagan grab a duffel bag from Sarita Neeraj.

Water swung her lean legs out and ducked her head as she pushed
herself away from the noisy chopper. How she ran through the grass in her
stiletto heels, Rebecca would never understand. Her short denim miniskirt was
almost immodest, but if Rebecca had legs like that, she wouldn’t hesitate to
show them off at every opportunity, either.

She’d never seen anyone as beautiful as Sarita, including the
goddesses. Exotically olive-skinned, her long ebony hair falling past her
shoulders, her mere presence evoked pictures of the Taj Mahal—India
embodied.

As short as Gina was tall, Sarita embraced Rebecca first, then
Megan. Since conversation was impossible as Johann made the blades spin faster,
lifting the helicopter from the ground, Rebecca motioned them to the lodge.

She hadn’t expected them to be so young—young enough to make
her feel ancient in comparison. She was the senior member of the new generation,
and she desperately wished Sparks was there to provide a sage voice.

“Rebs?” Megan touched her shoulder.

She released herself from her thoughts to make conversation.
“I’m sorry, Megan. What did you say?”

“Want a drink?” The redhead held up a bottle of Jack Daniels.
“I figured we could all use something to take the edge off.”

Rebecca shook her head, wishing the changelings weren’t so
accommodating for all of Megan’s sometimes reckless wishes. “Fine. Just
one.”

Megan threw her a grin. “They’ve agreed to keep our little
secret with Johann.”

“I want to see how long it takes Einstein to figure it out on
his own,” Gina said with a laugh. “You’d think the red hair would give it away,
but…” She shrugged. “The man’s so damned smart, it might be nice to know
something he doesn’t for once.”

“He’s sure to figure it out soon,” Sarita added. “A little bit
of mischief never hurt anyone. So,
Rebecca,
” she
said to Megan, “How about that drink? I could use a stiff one.”

“I can
always
use a stiff one,”
Megan replied with a wink. “A drink would be nice too. Besides, I think we
missed my birthday. I’ve kinda lost track of time.”

Rebecca suddenly realized her May birthday had come and
gone.

Thirty. I turned thirty.

Of course that milestone didn’t seem so horribly ominous any
longer when compared to the three centuries Artair had lived or how old she had
the potential of being. Yet the reality was that she’d reached such a portentous
age. People were supposed to be grown-ups when they turned thirty.

She didn’t feel very grown-up, and she sure didn’t feel
sufficiently wise to have any answers for the nagging questions weighing on her
mind.

The four women piled into Megan’s cabin. Megan grabbed the shot
glasses that had been conveniently left on her nightstand, twisted the top off
the whiskey bottle and filled the glasses. Gina flopped down on the bed, Sarita
grabbed the desk chair, and Megan stood next to Rebecca.

Raising her shot glass, Megan said, “Welcome to Avalon, Air and
Water.”

Rebecca threw back her shot of whiskey, grimacing at the fiery
trail it blazed down her throat. The alcohol did little to help her already
roiling stomach. When Megan moved to fill the glass again, Rebecca held her hand
over it. “No, thanks.”

Megan’s lips pursed for a moment as if she was going to tease
Rebecca, then her face softened as she gave a brusque nod.

“What did you do before you became, you know, one of us?” Megan
asked Gina.

“I wanted to be an astronaut, but… Let’s just say my
personality didn’t suit their standards. I’m an air-traffic controller. Um—
was
an air-traffic controller.”

“So, in other words,” Rebecca said, “you went from one
high-stress job to another.”

Gina laughed, a smile lighting her tanned, oval face. “I don’t
miss it.” She flexed her biceps. “I love working out. I love the way it feels to
fight like some warrior of old. The first time I beheaded a three, I was so high
on the adrenaline rush, I didn’t come down for hours.”

“What did you do, Sarita?” Rebecca asked.

“I trained animals at SeaWorld. Seals are my favorite.” Her
voice held the hint of a British accent. “They’re smarter than some people I
know.”

Megan shook her head. “Good God, we were really Amazons all
along, weren’t we? Rebecca was Mother Earth, nurturing those silly, little
rugrats. I was Fire, getting off on the endorphin rush of being a cop.”

Sarita’s laugh was as pretty as her face. “I’m amazed you
weren’t a firefighter instead.”

“Yeah, well—I seriously thought about it,” Megan replied. She
nodded at Air. “Gina wanted to take to the skies, and Sarita played in the
saltwater.”

“Amazing,” Gina said. “And now we’re here, ready to save the
world. My aunt would be proud.”

“Aunt? You had an aunt too?” Megan’s face grew serious. “I
never knew my parents. Do you think that’s because we were supposed to be
Amazons?”

“I was raised by my Aunt Kay.” Rebecca wondered, as she often
had, who her real parents were. Since she’d been called to Avalon, she’d assumed
that the mystery of her birth was tied to being an Amazon. But who was her real
mother? Did Rhiannon know? “Artair told me she was one of Rhiannon’s high
priestesses.”

“I was raised by my Aunt Carla,” Gina said.

“My Aunt Kamala,” Sarita chimed in.

“Aunt Tasha,” Megan added. The cabin grew quiet. Megan poured
herself another shot of Jack Daniels and quickly drank it. “That’s just too
weird. Do you think our goddesses are our birth mothers?”

Gina and Sarita both stared at Megan wide-eyed.

Rebecca had already asked herself that question. She’d
dismissed the notion of Rhiannon being her birth mother, figuring that if that
was the case, she would have been born a goddess or a demigod instead of an
Amazon. Although she did have another idea. “Maybe Aunt Kay was more than just a
priestess. Maybe she was my mother too.”