The Reluctant Bachelorette (37 page)

A knowing sadness reflected in her eyes. “Right.” She took a
step back, and her fingers clasped together. “Well, I’ll let you get back to
packing. Let me know when you’re ready, and I’ll give you a ride.”

“Thanks.”

She turned and walked to the door, her hand resting on the
doorknob as she looked back at him. “I hope you find happiness, Luke. Wherever
that is.” Then she opened the door and left.

Luke tossed a pair of shoes in his bag, and then sat down on
the bed. Happiness. His parents had always taught him that he was responsible
for his own happiness and to never put that burden on someone else’s shoulders.
It was good advice, and for the most part, Luke had tried to do that. But now
that Taycee had come back into his life, she’d somehow taken that happiness and
made it bigger and better than ever before. She’d given him a taste of bliss.
Misery, too. But mostly bliss.

It wasn’t something he wanted to give up.

Luke stood and shoved the rest of his stuff in the bag, his
movements more purposeful. Then he slung it over his shoulder and walked out
the door, shutting it and the reminder of his old life firmly behind him.

Taycee’s sparkly brown eye shadow fell to the floor with a
clack, dusting her ceramic tiled bathroom floor with the fine powder. She
frowned and kicked the container, creating an even bigger mess. Whatever.
Better on the floor than highlighting her puffy, sleep-deprived eyes—something
she blamed on Luke and his refusal to call her back. Where was he anyway?

In twenty minutes, Taycee was supposed to be at The Barn for
her final interview. It was a day for celebration, yet her feet still dragged. Jake
had been right about giving the viewers more credit. Ever since the interview
with Michael Roik aired, the site’s traffic increased. Jessa had added Luke’s
name to the final poll, and more people voted during the last round than any of
the others. Why that was, Taycee had no idea, especially when the winner turned
out to be Jake. Did it mean that people still hoped that Jake was still in the
running? Hopefully not, because if they expected Taycee to proclaim her love
for Jake, they’d be disappointed—not a reaction she wanted to deal with again.

Which was exactly why she took her time getting ready. Her
cell phone rang at 6:30 on the nose, but she ignored it as she put a couple of
eye drops in each eye, hoping it would help get the red out. Then she grabbed
her purse and walked to The Barn. She needed fresh air to breathe and time to
think.

“Hey,” Jessa said when she walked through the door. “Where
have you been? I was getting worried.”

“Sorry I’m late,” said Taycee. “I needed some time to think
before I do this.”

Jessa studied Taycee from under the rim of a black Colby cap.
“You know you have nothing to worry about, right? Miles and Jake stood by your
side when you needed it most. While I’m sure the viewers would love for you to
say you’re falling for Jake rather than Luke, even if you don’t, it’s going to
be fine.”

“Is it?” Taycee was thinking more about Luke than the show
when she asked the question.

Jessa shrugged. “Think about it this way: The majority of our
viewers are female, right? Since most of them are probably half in love with Jake
anyway, they’ll be more than happy to find out he’s still available. So you’re
really doing them all a favor by choosing Luke instead.”

Taycee tried for a smile, but it didn’t quite feel real. Yes,
she chose Luke. Hands down, she chose Luke. But what if he didn’t choose her
back? What if she blew her one and only chance with him?

Jessa grabbed Taycee’s elbow and pulled her toward the couch.
“I’m willing to bet that someday we’ll look back on this and have ourselves a
good laugh, especially when we tell our kids and grandkids about it.”

“That would require you finding a guy first,” Taycee said. “Settling
down and all that.”

“I can settle down.”

Taycee laughed. “Just don’t try to be too efficient when you
start looking. Learn from my mistake—and yours—and take it one guy at a time.”

That earned her a grin from Jessa. “See? We’re already
cracking jokes.”

A deep breath in and Taycee took a seat next to a table
holding a vase of beautiful white chrysanthemums—a flower arrangement she’d made
herself. In the US, chrysanthemums were known as the positive and cheerful
flower. In some countries of Europe and Asia, they were symbolic of death or
grief. In others, they represented honesty. For Taycee, the bouquet typified
her journey these past several weeks and now served as a reminder: To be
strong. Honest. Real.

With any luck, maybe Luke would even watch. It would finally
give her the chance to explain.

“And we’re on in three . . . two . . . one . . .” Burt pointed
at them.

Jessa opened her mouth to ask the first question, but Taycee
held up a hand. She faced the camera and lifted her chin. “This past week, I
have been accused of several things: Dishonesty, deception, manipulation,
leading people on, etc.” She paused. “In a way, you were right because I was
never completely honest with you. But that’s going to change right now.”

Taycee’s fingers played in her lap, clasping, unclasping.
Clasping, unclasping. “For me, this show has always been about Shelter Springs,
rather than the people it was supposed to be about: me and the bachelors. If I
could rewind the past several weeks and do things differently, I would. I would
treat the show, you viewers, and the bachelors with the respect that you
deserve.”

A cream linen envelope lay next to the bouquet on the table by
Taycee. She picked it up and ran her finger along the crisp edge. “Many of you
have voted for your favorite bachelor tonight, and the winner’s name is in this
envelope. Throughout this entire contest, you guys have chosen well for me because
Jake and Miles are two of the best men I have ever known.” Taycee paused. “But
so is someone else—someone who you voted off a couple of weeks ago because of
something I orchestrated. The truth is, Luke Carney is not a player. Far from
it, actually. He’s the best kind of person there is.

“I’ve read some of the less-than-flattering comments people
have posted about Luke, and I want you all to know that you couldn’t be more
wrong about him. I was the one who asked Missy to make him look bad so you’d
vote him off. Like so many of my other choices these past several weeks, I let
fear drive that decision. I had feelings for Luke and never imagined that he
could ever return them, so I wanted him off. In so doing, I kept all of you
from getting to know what an amazing person he is. Luke is kind, good, smart,
funny, and truly exceptional. Had I stayed out of it and let you get to know
him, I’m certain you would have chosen him for me in the end, because there
really is no one else for me.”

Taycee’s hands clamped down over the top of the envelope,
trapping it under her fingers. “It doesn’t really matter whose name is in this
envelope, because tonight I’m doing something I should have done all along. I’m
making my own choice—a choice that will always be Luke Carney.”

The silence that followed landed like a heavy weight on
Taycee’s shoulders. Not even Jessa spoke. Taycee had said what she’d come to
say, but it still felt so unfinished, as if she hadn’t said enough, apologized
enough, defended Luke enough, or set things right enough.

But maybe that was the point. No matter how hard a person
tried to make things right, sometimes it never was enough. That’s what
forgiveness was for.

With slow movements, Taycee gave the envelope one last pat.
Then she stood and walked out the door, back into the night.

I
t was late by the time Taycee
made
it back to her house. She had no idea how long she walked, only that her feet
ached and she still didn’t feel any better. Only tired. Which was good, she
supposed. Maybe she could at least get some sleep tonight.

“Hey,” a voice said, making Taycee jump. Jessa sat under the
cover of darkness on the top porch step. Her hand patted the empty concrete
next to her.

“Hey yourself.” Taycee plopped down and rested her head on
Jessa’s shoulder.

“You did good tonight,” said Jessa. “But you weren’t
completely honest with everyone.”

Taycee frowned and lifted her head. “What do you mean?”

“You took all the blame for what happened, when it was mostly
my fault. I was the one who coerced you into doing the show, I was the one who
told you to up the romance factor, and I was the one who told you to bury your
relationship with Luke to finish it.”

Taycee’s lips lifted into a small smile. That admission was
big for Jessa. “I could have told you no.”

“I know. But you didn’t because you’re a better person than
me.” Jessa’s sandal tapped against the concrete step.

Taycee yawned, unable to fight the exhaustion anymore. “I
wasn’t right for the job, Jess. You can see that now, right?”

“No,” Jessa said. “You were perfect for the job. If Luke had
won instead of Jake, everything would have ended as it should.”

The warm humid night air seemed to mix with Jessa’s words and
seep into Taycee, easing some of the ache she’d lived with for the past several
days. Although things were far from great, it helped that Jessa was still here.
Still her friend. “Or,” Taycee said. “If you’d been the bachelorette instead,
things might have ended as it should, too.”

Silence. And then, “What?”

Taycee suppressed a laugh. It wasn’t often she surprised Jessa,
and she loved it when she did. “I’m saying that maybe you and Jake would be a
good fit, that’s all. You do think he’s handsome, rich, and charming.”

“I think that about a lot of guys.”

Taycee’s eyebrows rose.

“Well, okay,” Jessa said. “So maybe there aren’t a lot that
fit into that category around here. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to fall for
just anyone—least of all one of the bachelors on
your
dating show. I’m
not that idiotic.”

“You keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.”

“I will,” said Jessa. “Despite everything, though, things
still worked out. We raised enough money, and assuming everything goes
smoothly, the farmers market will be open in two weeks. And, if they’re able to
sell enough to pay off their loans, the majority of them plan to sign up with Jake’s
company in the fall.”

“Glad to hear it.” Taycee smiled, nudging Jessa’s shoulder
with her own. “Hey, mind if I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“Why are you still in Shelter Springs instead of out in the
real world, making your splash? Because it would be huge. And beautiful. Like
one of those cool fountain shows.”
Please don’t say it’s because of me.

“I think you overestimate me.” Jessa’s sandal tapped against
the concrete again, faster this time. “Honestly? I guess it’s because I lack
the courage.”

“Please. You’re the most daring person I know.”

“It’s all an act.” Jessa’s hands clasped her knees as she
leaned back and examined the sky. She rarely allowed her vulnerability to show,
but now, right here, on this warm, clear night it was there in her big blue
eyes.

What’s more, it looked good on her.

“Maybe you should ask Jake if his company has any openings,” Taycee
said. It hurt to say the words, to make the suggestion that a life outside of
Shelter Springs might be a better fit for her friend. She didn’t want to see
Jessa go, just like she hadn’t wanted to see anyone else go. But go they did,
and now they were better for it. Maybe Jessa would be better too.

A quiet chuckle sounded. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that. After
the whole bachelorette fiasco, he’s sure to want to hire me.”

“He was actually really impressed with what you did,” said
Taycee.

Jessa’s head shook again, but something shone in her eyes that
wasn’t there before. Hope maybe. “No, if I’m going to venture out of here, I’m
going to do it on my own—not that I wouldn’t mind living in Sacramento.”