THE RELUCTANT BRIDE (8 page)

“
Shared
interests, dependability, country walks – you're looking for a
safe haven, not a marriage. What are you frightened of, Gabriella?”

She
stared at him and her eyes filled with tears. They came without
warning and she turned her head sharply, appalled that he had seen
any chink in her armour.

“
Hey!”
He was on his feet, moving swiftly to her side, guiding her to the
big chair beside the fire. “Here, take my handkerchief.”
He sat on the arm of the chair and pulled her to him, dabbing with a
large gentle hand at her wet eyes.

The
embrace felt kind, brotherly. She sighed and let her head droop
against his chest. She could hear the slow beat of his heart and the
soothing noises his mouth made against her hair. The faint hiss of
the gas logs was the only other sound in the room. She sighed again.
This might not be the Rod she was accustomed to but he was, oh, so
comforting.

“
Better?”
he asked, tipping her chin gently to his gaze.

She
nodded. Reluctantly her eyes met his, seeing a softness in their dark
depths that she could almost believe was tenderness.

“
Don't
marry him, Gabriella. You'd be making a great mistake.”

“
I
still couldn't marry you.”

“
Why
not? Am I really such a demon?”

Was
he? She searched his face, aware only of tenderness and concern, and
wondered if she could, after all, have misjudged him. Confused, she
found herself unresisting as he lowered his mouth to hers.

His
lips were warm and soft, demanding no more than she was prepared to
give, but as they brushed and caressed her own she herself began to
exert pressure and her hands involuntarily reached to the thick dark
hair, bringing him yet closer. Still cupping her chin, he stroked a
thumb across her lips, parting them, and she gave herself up to a
melting sensuality that she had not been aware she possessed.

It
was Rod who pulled away.

“
I
hate to break this up,” he murmured, “but I have to go
out in an hour and we still have to talk.”

“
Talk?”
she repeated, dazed.

“
About
our marriage. About Englands.”

Englands.
You bastard!, she whispered silently. The kiss had meant nothing to
him.

“
Of
course,” she said aloud, moving away from him, smoothing her
dishevelled hair. She wished that she could palm her hot cheeks but
would not give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he had shaken
her. “I told you earlier,” she said when at last she had
her voice and body under control, “I'm not going to marry you
and nothing you say will persuade me otherwise. Or did you think,”
she added with a bleak glance, “that a kiss would do the
trick?”

“
Not
at all. But I do believe you've no real intention of marrying your
Bernard, and I think you're basically quite a sensible person. You
must see the advantages for all concerned if we agree to the terms of
Ben's Will and you marry me.”

He
waited. “Five years, Gabriella. That's all.”

Five
years of Rod. He was ruthless, unscrupulous, he used sex to get his
own way, and the tenderness she had seen in his eyes was just another
ploy to bend her to his will. Well, she had had few illusions about
him before. Now she had none. And that was good, because never again
would he be able to get beneath her guard.

Last
night she had made her decision. This morning she had reversed it.
Was it really just cold feet as Rod had suggested? She thought of the
future if she didn't agree to the marriage. Her mother lonely and in
pain, waiting interminably to be called into hospital. The burden of
debts that never seemed to decrease. Herself alone. Because Rod was
right, of course. She couldn't marry Bernard. Not now.

“
Very
well,,” she said at last. “Let's talk.”

****

Her
mother was already in bed when she got home but Gabriella could hear
radio voices coming from her room. She popped her head around the
door.

“
Do
you need anything?”

“
No,
dear. Well, perhaps a cup of Horlicks a little later. But darling,
you're so early!” Her face registered a transparent
disappointment.

“
Rod
had an appointment he couldn't change.”

“
But
you'll be seeing him again? I mean, socially?”

“
Actually
… I've something to tell you.”

“
Yes?”
said Mrs Stevens eagerly.

“
Rod
and I -”

“
He
hasn't asked you to marry him!”

Gabriella
nodded with a mixture of exasperation and relief. Her mother was
making it easy for her but it was hard to match her enthusiasm.

“
Darling,
how wonderful! A whirlwind romance And such a lovely man! But of
course, I could see as soon as I met him that you were ideally suited
to each other.”

“
Really?”
Gabriella knew her face was registering disbelief and to hide it she
bent to pick up her mother's book which had slipped to the floor. She
glanced at the cover, which depicted a dark haired man and a blonde
woman clasped in each other's arms. The man bore a remarkable
resemblance to Rod.

“
Oh,
you'll make such a beautiful couple at the wedding,” her mother
rushed on. “But I don't think you should wear white, dear, not
with your pale skin. Ivory satin and lace, perhaps, with pearls in
your hair -”

“
As
a matter of fact,” Gabriella broke in, “we'd like to
marry quite soon so we'd prefer not to have a big wedding. We thought
– just a quiet registry office ceremony.”

“
Oh
darling, surely not!” You must marry in church. I've always so
looked forward to seeing you walk down the aisle. And you'll remember
it all your life, dear.”

Gabriella
sighed. She knew it would be difficult enough to make her vows in a
registry office setting. In church she would feel a dreadful
hypocrite. She imagined even Rod would baulk at the prospect. But her
mother would be hurt and disappointed if they refused.

“
Well,
we'll see,” she said weakly.

“
I
know why you're saying you don't want a white wedding, darling,”
said her mother. “It's the money, isn't it? But we can afford
it, Gabriella. When I sold my jewellery I kept back the diamond
pendant. It was the most valuable piece your father ever gave me, it
must be worth a small fortune now.”

Stunned,
it was several seconds before Gabriella could speak. “You mean
– Mum, that money would have paid for your operation!”

“
Well,
perhaps, dear, but I wanted you to have your Big Day when the time
came. To me that was far more important.”

Gabriella
had to shut her eyes. The room seemed to be swaying around her. She
remembered the pendant, a magnificent four carat diamond that her
father had brought back from a trip to South Africa, and she thought
bitterly of the years she had struggled to keep up the mortgage on
the house and to pay the bills. Of how she had agonised over her
mother's poor health, constantly nagging their GP and the health
authority to get her into hospital, and had sweated to squeeze even
more out of her limited income to pay for home help as her mother
became increasingly arthritic.Now, in desperation, she had agreed to
a sham marriage to a man she couldn't abide.

And
it had all been unnecessary. Because all this time her mother -her
silly, romantic, stupid! mother – had herself had the means to
solve their problems.

“
I'll
make the Horlicks,” she said. She had to leave the room. She
was filled with a sick anger that she didn't dare show.

CHAPTER
FOUR

Once
again roses awaited her in her office. White roses. She didn't bother
to read the message on the card. It hardly mattered any more, she
thought bleakly, what inanities Rod thought up and who read them. Too
many people already knew about the marriage.

Jenny
was not yet at her desk. Gabriella dumped the roses in the wastepaper
basket beside it and wrote a brief note asking her to put them in
water.

She
glanced through her emails and her post, skimming briefly through one
or two that required her personal attention. Her eyes burned with
weariness. She had scarcely slept.

If
only she had told me before, she thought for the thousandth time, and
wished that she still had her anger of the previous night to sustain
her. But she had found it impossible to remain angry with her mother.
Muddled and stupid as her priorities might seem to Gabriella, her
mother had sincerely believed she was acting in Gabriella's best
interests. And it had cost her dearly to hold on to that pendant when
she could have used it to ease her own situation. How could Gabriella
throw such a sacrifice back in her face?

All
the same, she couldn't bring herself to use the money. Not for her
wedding. And certainly not for her mother's operation. No, if she had
to marry Rod – and it was too late to back out now – she
might as well reap some of the financial benefits right away. She
would see Mr Brewster and ask for a loan against Ben's estate.