The Reluctant First Lady (30 page)

“Yes, we’ve tried to call her cell phone, but she’s either ditched it or deactivated it somehow. I wish reaching her was that easy. But, in my heart I want to believe you’re right; still, I’m terrified that she might not be all right. Knowing your mom, she’ll probably pop back up just like she disappeared. I hope none of you mind if I strangle her when she does.”

With an equal amount of emotion in their voices, they responded in one fashion or another. “Be our guest. Just don’t hurt her badly; we’re kind of attached to her.”

“I’ll try to keep that in mind. Remember, this is between you and me. We’re trying to keep your mom’s disappearance from the media.”

“Okay. Call us if you hear anything,” Jeremy said.

After hanging up, Michael called Sienna. He went through the same information with her as he had the kids. Sienna took it rather well, not acting in the least bit surprised.

“Sienna, did you already know about this? Did Ashley talk to you about her plans?”

“No, but it doesn’t surprise me. In fact, I’m surprised she’s waited as long as she has. Michael, there’s one thing about which I’m absolutely certain: Ashley has done this for a very good reason. She wouldn’t put the people she loves through this if it weren’t for something extremely important. I think Ashley’s on the verge of making a life-changing decision, and she needed to get away to think. When we were kids and she would visit, occasionally she’d disappear. She usually climbed up high into a tree. She would say she needed to be alone to think. She obviously wanted time away from everyone and everything so she could think through something very serious.”

“I hope you’re right. You’ve always understood her better than I do. I swear you two have a psychic connection. After all these years, she still baffles me. Anyway, I’m going to trust that you really don’t know anything.”

“I can assure you, I don’t. If she calls me, I’ll try to find out where she is and encourage her to call you. Michael, promise me you won’t have our phones tapped.”

“You’ve been reading way too many novels. No, no phone-tapping. Please keep in touch, and I’ll do the same. Tell Jim hi for me and remind him he’s the lucky one. I don’t think I can ever remember your pulling any crazy stunts like this unless your cousin dragged you into them.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him you called. Let me know if you hear from her.”

Michael was completely exhausted, and his day was just beginning.

42

Ashley felt like an escaped convict. She tried to be as inconspicuous as possible. During the bus trip, she kept her eyes glued to a book she pretended to read. If threatened with bodily harm, she wouldn’t be able to tell you the title of the book or anything else written on the pages she continued to turn at a steady rate.

When Ashley finally reached the safe harbor of Ludlow, Vermont, she began to feel the tension in her body ease. Steve’s cabin was all he claimed it to be, a safe haven where she could find refuge and a place to reflect and contemplate the current status of her life. True to his word, the cabin was fully stocked with food and everything else he thought she might need. She wouldn’t need to leave the cabin for anything. There was comfort in knowing she could just
be
. She closed her eyes and breathed. She’d made it this far. That was a start.

The two-bedroom cedar log cabin was charming. It smelled wonderfully woodsy, an ancient smell so familiar it seeped into her pores and spoke to her primitive brain of a comfort once received in another time and place. The lower level housed the living room, dining room, kitchen, and one bathroom. The upper level had a narrow balcony that wrapped around the second floor with doors leading to two huge bedrooms and another bathroom that boasted a deep soaking Jacuzzi tub. The whole cabin was beautifully and artfully decorated. Rustic and antique furniture were combined with splashes of bright colors and whimsical accents insisting that its occupants not take life too seriously.

Ashley thought of Michael and the headache her leaving was undoubtedly creating for him. Michael was strong; he would be all right. Besides being furious about her ditching her security, his main concern would be for her safety. She would need to do a lot of explaining and repair work when she returned. She knew no matter what she would say to assure him she’d been safe, he would be convinced she’d put herself in harm’s way.

She had promised him early in their marriage she would never place herself deliberately in an unsafe or dangerous situation, and he would most assuredly view this as a breach of that promise. Ashley was very sure that Michael, while concerned about her safety, would also be mad as hell. There was nothing she could do about that now; she had known how he’d react before she left, and yet she still felt she must leave. Sometimes it was necessary to fly through the turbulence of clouds to get to the smooth sky above.

Michael would view her call and message to Mavis’s voice mail as throwing him a bone. He knew her well enough to know she must have been planning to leave for some time. That, in itself, would infuriate him. She was very sure that he would see absolutely no reason why she needed to have time to herself. Still, after all their years of marriage, he didn’t understand her need to be completely alone at times.

Ashley stood up and stretched. She was physically drained from her ordeal; she definitely needed a nap. She hadn’t slept a wink during her entire four-hour bus trip. Who could have? She needed to re-energize her body so she could begin thinking about what had brought her here in the first place.

She made her way up the staircase and immediately started undressing. The cool sheets felt like a soothing balm to her bunched-up muscles. When she woke, if she ever did, she’d begin to address the purpose of her exodus. She was determined to find a resolution to the quagmire in which she and Michael were stuck. She drifted off to sleep, determined not to leave this cabin until she found a solution.

Ashley awoke abruptly but was immediately aware of where she was. She listened to see if some sound had disturbed her, but she heard nothing. She stretched and looked out the window opposite the bed. It was daytime. She reached for her watch to check the time; it was two in the afternoon. She’d been gone over twelve hours. She needed to boost her blood cells with a stimulant. She needed caffeine.

When she finally had her coffee and toast in front of her, she smiled thinking about what a creature of habit she was and how easy it was to please her. With the very first swallow of the aromatic blend, every nerve ending and electrical current in her body bowed down to the supremacy of the magical elixir. She let out a deep sigh and released the last remnants of nervous energy left over from making her escape from New York.

She retrieved a tablet of paper from her backpack. She intended to attack this problem logically. At least she hoped she could bypass her emotions long enough to let the logical side of her brain operate for a while. She drew a line down the center of the paper and wrote at the top “pro” on one side of the line and “con” on the other. Now to begin the truly difficult part: total honesty.

Before she began, she poured herself another cup of coffee. She leaned against the counter, thinking about all of the times in her married life she’d sought to bring some kind of harmony to a situation or to find some resolution to a problem between her and Michael. They’d always had their differences but never of the magnitude of what they were dealing with now. She felt like she’d been doing this same thing throughout most of their married life. With both of them being such strong-willed people and with each dedicated to careers, disharmony was practically a way of life.

Yet, through all of the years, they’d stayed together and not for the sake of their children. Beneath all of their differences, they were truly in love with one another, deeply and forever. One would think love would bring comfort rather than so much discord. It would have been easier if they didn’t love each other so much. They would have separated a long time ago, and all of the friction arising from their love could easily have been handled with a couple of good attorneys.

Ashley went to work on her pro-and-con list. A couple of quotes from an old Kevin Costner movie popped into her head. He had referred to a defining moment. His character said, “When a defining moment comes along, either you define the moment or the moment defines you.” In her opinion, this was a defining moment.

The other quote was “Greatness courts failure.” Michael had been willing to take enormous risks to achieve his goals. He’d risked failure in his quest for the presidency. Now it was time for her to take a risk of her own in an attempt to balance their lives.

Ashley looked at the list she’d created. Almost every item listed, regardless of which side it was on, carried with it an almost equal consequence on the opposite side. Each side painted a possible picture of the future. The path she would choose had to be for the sake of her marriage and her family and still allow her the career she’d worked so hard to achieve.

New circumstances had been introduced into the equation that allowed for new solutions to be considered. As always, she had a lot to think about, but even with a snapshot of possible futures for her and Michael, the consequences of the decision she might make needed to be weighed and measured carefully.

If she were to follow the path that could bring more harmony between her and Michael, she had a list of conditions that he’d need to meet too. Before she could decide anything for sure, there were other people she needed to talk to. If her plan broke down anywhere along the way, she’d have to scrap the whole idea and try to hammer out another way of achieving balance in their lives.

Ashley wanted to spend what was left of the day relaxing. She picked up her book and headed for the bedroom. It was already dark, and even though she’d taken a nap, she knew she would sleep well tonight because she’d finally had some uninterrupted time to think things through and outline some fresh possibilities.

When she awoke the next morning, Ashley looked over her notes from the previous day and decided there was nothing she’d written down that she would change. Basically, once she’d gotten away from all the stress, confusion, and demands, she was able to figure out what she thought might be the best course of action. She acknowledged to herself that she’d been consciously and unconsciously working on the problem for months but that what she desperately had needed was some time away from the fishbowl existence she’d been living.

Life shouldn’t be taken for granted, and she felt as though she and Michael had been taking one another and their love for granted for far too long. Ashley didn’t want to have any regrets when she lay dying. She’d always grabbed life with open arms and embraced it firmly and with purpose. But had she been doing that lately?

She decided to spend her second day soaking up nature. There was always something purifying about getting away from the city where noise and crowds constantly bombarded the senses. She dressed warmly and went for a long walk. It was a beautiful day, and the sound of the trees rustling soothed her. She breathed in the fresh country air and let the last of her pent-up stress release itself into the wind.

When she returned to the cabin, she decided to rest outside on the deck. Steve had outdone himself in creating a beautiful, serene environment. With its abundant potted plants and flowers and its fashionable outdoor furniture arranged for comfort and conversation, it was perfect. She eyed what looked like a very comfortable chaise longue. She didn’t have to go anywhere or talk to anyone, and no one was expecting anything from her, praise be. How often did that happen anymore?

Ashley carried a radio outside and turned it to a channel that played jazz. She watched the clouds drift by for a while and imagined all sorts of creatures in their billowy shapes. She read and she rested. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fragrant air. She let her mind wander until the sounds of footsteps interrupted her thoughts—soft ones, but definitely footsteps. She sat up and looked back toward the house. Nothing.

When she turned back around, she saw a man walking toward her on the deck. Not just any man, but the photographer who had been at her apartment, at the fund-raiser, and outside the Russian Tea Room. The one who had taken the controversial pictures of her and Geoffrey. Only this time, she didn’t see a camera.

The expression on his face alarmed her. He looked predatory.

Ashley jumped up and took off for the door. Just as she reached the kitchen door, a hand clamped down on her shoulder.

“What? You don’t have something to say to me this time, Mrs. Taylor?” The photographer, if he was a photographer, said in a very contemptuous voice.

In that moment, adrenaline surged through her body, and she was unafraid. She turned toward the man. “Take your hands off of me.” The look on her face must have made him rethink what he was doing because he removed his hand from her shoulder and took a step back.

Ashley continued her offensive. “What are you doing here? How did you find me? Is it more pictures you want? You’ve let your paparazzi mentality affect your judgment.”

His surprise at her reaction only slowed him down a second, “Listen, Miss High-and-Mighty, you may have other people fooled but not me. You were easy to find. You may have the Secret Service’s panties all in a wad, but I recognize what you really are. You think you’re too good for the rest of us. Someone needs to teach you a lesson.”

He reached forward to lift the hem of her T-shirt and touched bare skin. The feel of his hand grazing her flesh set off war drums in her head. Ashley slapped his hand away and let out a bloodcurdling scream.

He hadn’t expected her to act so aggressively, first with words and now bodily. He thought he could intimidate her easily. Her screaming could possibly bring unnecessary attention. Attention that he, and most certainly his employer, didn’t want.

He turned to leave. “This isn’t over. I can get to you anytime I want. My employer is very interested in you. So, until next time . . .” He grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it.