The Reluctant Goddess (The Montgomery Chronicles Book 2)

The Reluctant Goddess

Copyright

The vampire princess in the castle

Square peg, round hole

Lassie, is that you, boy?

Mirror, mirror on the wall…who is that hag?

Grandma, what big eyes you have

The dog barks, but the caravan moves on

In her defense, she’d been trying to kill me

Kenisha and Mikey, sitting on a tree

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket

Did the earth move for you, too?

It’s for your own good, I promise, canine version

It’s for your own good, I promise, human version

Do I need uninsured vampire insurance?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

My libido escapes its cage

Down into the dungeon, m’lady

Normal with sex, please

The strings are still vibrating

Don’t shoot me, I’m just the messenger

Vampires can’t be choosers

Come hell or high fang

A cock and fang story

Bye bye baby, baby bye bye

Dropping like flies

Do you feel me?

I wanted to bite the hand that scratched me

I’m just a goddess in a gilded cage

Cookies and ice cream and condoms, oh my
 

Dogs leave paw prints on your heart

Other Smother

Come, my little vampire, said the spider to me

Someone’s elevator doesn’t go to the penthouse

The best laid plans of vampires…

A Pow Wow of Witches

Dear Reader

The Reluctant Goddess

Karen Ranney

The Reluctant Goddess
 

This book is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws, and all rights are reserved.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any trademarks, service marks, product names, or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. There is no implied endorsement.

Copyright © 2015 Karen Ranney

All rights reserved worldwide.

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The vampire princess in the castle

Any minute, I had to stand up and walk back to the house, or Arthur's Folly as it was called. Dan’s grandfather had been Arthur Peterson, the founder of Cluckey's Fried Chicken, a true gastronomical horror. Evidently, really bad fried chicken paid well because the house was a sprawling castle in the ironically named Welfare, Texas, located outside of San Antonio.
 

I was delaying standing up because I wasn't sure my knees could support me. My hands were still trembling and I had that sickening hollow feeling in the middle of my stomach.
 

A badass I'm not.
 

I didn’t have any weapons other than one hypodermic and it had rolled to the edge of the deck. With each sloshing wave, it threatened to fall into the water.

Would I be polluting the entire lake with rabies?

I leaned over as far as I could, bumped my elbow on the wooden deck and retrieved the needle. Holding it between two fingers, I stared at it, wondering what to do now.
 

That's the problem with my life lately. There were no roadmaps. When I was an insurance adjuster I knew what I was going to do every day. I got up, readied myself for work, took out the garbage if it needed it, got gas in the car if it was lower than a quarter tank. Every situation had a corresponding response.
 

Nothing had been simple since BF: Before Fangdom and the day I woke up in the Vampire Resuscitation Center after a torrid love fest with Doug Williams, a very fangy vampire. Let’s just say things got out of control and wham! Welcome to your new world, Marcie Montgomery. You’re a vampire.
 

Oh, by the way, you’re not a
normal
vampire.
 

Fast forward a few months later and I was trying to escape my destiny which was, according to Niccolo Maddock, a master vampire with delusions of grandeur, to mother his children.
 

Ewww
didn’t even begin to cover my feelings on that score.
 

Somehow I got to my feet, Mutt looking up at me with his golden retriever grin. Maybe I was wrong about him, too. I didn't think so, however. As improbable, implausible, and downright impossible as everything sounded, I was a vampire and my closest companion was a hottie, a former Ranger who could turn into a dog.

Who says my life isn't interesting?

I stumbled to one of the couches on the floating island and sat heavily. I needed to get to the castle. Maddock could send one of his many minions after me. I might be a vampire but I wasn’t equipped to defend myself. Not a badass, remember?
 

However, I did come from hardy stock. Consider my grandmother, a witch. I suspected Nonnie was a very powerful witch. And my mother? She was a murderer. I was the intended victim but she missed and got someone else, instead. Poor Ophelia, who only wanted to be beautiful forever and ended up being squished like a bug.
 

I couldn’t be all that sanctimonious, however, since I’d plotted to kill the grand Poobah of vampires.

Of course, he wasn't dead yet and there was no guarantee he would die. I’d injected him with the rabies vaccine. Vampires can die through blood borne diseases, which is why they’re such whiny hypochondriacs, present company probably included.
 

If someone had injected me, I would have trotted to the nearest hospital to find out if I was in danger. Niccolo Maddock, however, was replete with one character flaw that might give me a chance: he was an arrogant SOB.
 

Maddock was actually a duke. I imagine being royalty in the 21st century was rather disconcerting. Did anybody care anymore? To be really effective as royalty, don't you need paupers? At the very least you should have serfs. Nowadays, you have to pay people.
 

I've seen Maddock’s home. He employs a great many servants and I don't doubt they’re all highly paid. After all, they're working for a vampire. Not that anybody cares anymore. It's a lot like pot. Once upon a time smoking pot was frowned on. Then it became the thing to do. Then, after it was legalized, nobody seemed to notice.

When vampires first came onto the scene, or they were discovered by DNA, there was a lot of talk about civilization dying, the second coming of Christ, and Armageddon. Now that they've been out, if you'll pardon the expression, for a while, people aren’t all that outraged. The only people who are belong to groups like The Militia of God, the Council of Human Creationism, and NAAH (the National Association for the Advancement of Humans). Oh, there’s still racism, or being a vampist, a term that combines racist with vampire. Some people hate vampires and always will.
 

Some try to be a vampire, like one of my fellow fledglings told me.
 

"You don't have to die of blood borne diseases anymore, Marcie. If you get diagnosed, like I was, with leukemia, you've got a choice. Go the treatment route or choose to…"

I knew Felipe had gone the treatment route, but nothing worked. Finally, he'd asked permission to be turned.
 

My situation was a little bit different. At first, I thought it was the aforementioned excessively horny vampire who had just gotten carried away. I’d hated Doug for weeks until I realized he was just a spoke in the wheel that had become my life. He was given a job to do and that was turn me into a vampire.
 

You see, my real father was a vampire. Vampires are not supposed to be able to procreate. Maybe it has something to do with your heart beating once a week. Or maybe all your organs drying up once you die. A female vampire’s uterus must be as dry as the Sahara. A male vampire wasn’t supposed to have any sperm wiggling around in his testicles.
 

The upshot was that already being half a vampire meant I was now a vampire and a half, with witch blood, making me something special.
 

I eat, for one thing. Not blood, either, the thought of which still curdles my stomach. I love tacos and anything fried. If it comes with a dipping sauce, all the better. Most vampires pretend to eat food in public, so as not to call attention to their condition. Me? I don’t have a problem scarfing anything down.
 

Right now, for example, my stomach was rumbling, telling me it had been a few hours since I’d eaten.
 

I can walk in the sun, too, a newly discovered trait. It beats burning my derriere like the morning of the first day after returning home. I still remember those blisters. Now no blisters, no sunburn, just a wonderful feeling of freedom.
 

At the moment, however, I wasn't so concerned about my “specialness” as I was walking back to the castle. My legs were still shaking.
 

I stuck my feet out, dangling them over the lake. The gazebo where I sat jutted out into the water like an island or one of those fancy dancy retreats where you go to fix your marriage.
 

I’ve never been married, unlike my mother who’s been married three times. I lived with Bill for a few years, but that didn’t exactly turn out for the best. Or maybe it did. We aren’t living together anymore.
 

Mutt whined and I bent to scratch between his ears.
 

"So what do you think, boy? Do you have to get back to the castle before you change into a human being?"

His big brown eyes twinkled and his tongue lolled out of his mouth.

"You just don't want me to see you naked."

A husky chuffing sound might be laughter or just because he was thirsty.
 

"Thank you for saving my life," I said.
 

He leaned against my leg.
 

I was too close to tears for comfort. I had to go back to the castle or Dan’s house, which meant Dan was a millionaire or maybe even a billionaire, a shape shifting billionaire. Moments earlier he had bitten Il Duce, hard enough that Maddock hadn't been able to hurt me. Not like he had two nights earlier.

I couldn't call it rape, not when everything in me had wanted him. Never mind that it was a reaction caused by a drug, I somehow felt responsible, guilty about my behavior. Was that how rape victims felt? As if they’d done something wrong?

I couldn’t think about Maddock any longer. I had the unwelcome ability to summon him with my thoughts. The last thing I wanted was another encounter tonight.
 

My stomach rumbled again.
 

I glanced down at the dog.
 

“Let’s go get dinner,” I said, priorities being what they were.
 

He made another chuffing sound and stayed by my side as we started back to the castle.

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