The Reluctant Sinner (18 page)

A few days later, Daisy had slipped out of the shop to buy a certain shade of cotton, when she saw a man coming towards her in army uniform, walking with a crutch. She was surprised to recognize Jack, her former boyfriend. She was even more surprised at his icy reception when she greeted him.

‘Jack! How lovely to see you, my but you look as if you’ve been in the wars.’

‘Hello, Daisy,’ he said with a distinct coolness in his voice. ‘I was wounded a couple of months back, but I’ll soon be fine. I read all about you in the local paper.’ He looked at her with disdain. ‘How could you sell yourself like that? I couldn’t believe that you became one of Flo Cummings’ girls. You should have listened to me when I told you to give up working as a barmaid in the Solent Club, then you would never have had to face a jury charged with murder!’

Her back hackles rose. ‘You forgot to mention that I was found not guilty! You’ll never understand, Jack, and I am certainly
not
going to stand here and make excuses for my behaviour. Get well soon.’ And she strode away, head held high. Pompous ass, she thought. How high and mighty he did sound. She didn’t have to answer to him or anyone! But his cruel remarks had hurt her. This would be the way all men would think of her, and there was little hope of her having any kind of relationship with the opposite sex. No man would want to marry her knowing that other men had known her intimately and that she’d killed a man even if it was in self-defence. Oh well, if that was the price she would have to pay – so be it. She at least had her career. That was something. She didn’t tell Grace of her encounter when she returned. She would put it behind her along with everything else in her life that was unpleasant.

Vera too had suffered a backlash from her friends after Daisy’s case came to court and she had given up most of them. So many voiced their distaste over Daisy’s way of life and Vera had met all of this with anger as she defended her daughter and when Flo’s
case was written of in the paper, she again met the stares of her neighbours with contempt. They all were entitled to their opinion as long as they kept it to themselves. But she did wonder if Daisy would ever meet a man who could see beyond the scandal and love the girl for who she was, a girl with a good heart. She hoped so, but deep down, she doubted it. She of course kept such thoughts to herself.

With more time on her hands now, she took in more work for Daisy. She was a fine needlewoman and her work was much appreciated and admired by Daisy’s workforce and the clients. It meant that Vera was earning more money and that gave her independence. It was good for her that she wasn’t entirely dependent on her daughter for every penny. They did however depend on each other for company. At the end of the day Daisy would come home, tired after a long day and the two of them enjoyed their time together. The difficult past brought the two closer and they were a great comfort to each other.

‘We’re like a couple of old maids, Mum,’ said Daisy one evening. ‘All we need is a couple of cats!’

‘Not bloody likely!’ Vera exclaimed. ‘Think of the hair and what if they clawed at my sewing.’

Daisy laughed. ‘I was only joking, Mum.’

They decided to go to the Palace of Variety on the Saturday evening, to give themselves a treat. It was a good programme with jugglers, a sword swallower, a comedian and finishing with a singer. It lifted their spirits and they came out of the building talking about the acts, when Daisy saw two men in naval uniform. As they turned, she saw one was Steven Noaks. He stopped when he saw her and came over to them.

‘Daisy!’ He smiled and said, ‘How lovely to see you.’

She introduced her mother and he introduced his friend. ‘We’re just going for a drink,’ said Steven. ‘Would you two ladies care to join us?’

Daisy glanced at her mother, who shrugged. ‘Thank you, Steven, we’d like that.’

The four of them sat in the saloon bar of the nearest hostelry. Steven’s friend was in deep conversation with Vera and Steven gazed fondly at Daisy.

‘You are looking well.’

‘Thanks. How long have you been in port?’ she asked.

‘We docked this morning and decided we were in need of some entertainment other than the pub. How are you?’

‘Fine now,’ she said hesitantly, not knowing how much he knew about her arrest.

‘I read about you in the papers just as we sailed. I was so sorry to hear of your troubles. It must have been dreadful for you.’

‘It was, but I really don’t want to talk about it, Steven. I’m trying to put it all behind me. I’m working hard and I’m happy to say the business is holding up. My unsavoury reputation doesn’t seem to have done too much harm, I’m happy to say.’ She gave a wry smile, remembering how he left her the last time. How he kissed her passionately then walked away. She’d not heard a word from him since and she wondered how much her reputation had changed things between them.

The two men walked them home but declined a cup of coffee or tea.

‘Sorry, Daisy, but we are on night duty in an hour,’ Steven explained, ‘but I’ll be in touch.’ He kissed her on the cheek, shook hands with her mother and said goodnight.

Once inside the house, Vera made a pot of tea. ‘Nice couple of blokes,’ Vera said as she poured the hot beverage.

‘I didn’t know the other chap,’ Daisy said, ‘but I knew Steven from the Solent Club. He’s a nice man.’

Just how well did Daisy know him? Vera couldn’t help but wonder, but she said nothing more and the conversation about the men ended.

Bert Croucher was at a loose end. Now that the Solent Club had closed, he’d had to find another venue in which to spend his Saturday evenings. He’d tried the Horse and Groom in East Street, but it was rowdy on a Saturday with the inevitable fights breaking out. It was also the favourite drinking spot for the local ladies of the night. At least here he was free to pay for their services, unlike the Solent Club where he was barred from using the whores. But he still lusted after Gloria, or Daisy Gilbert as she was he learned after reading about the murder of his old mate.

He knew all about her business and how talented she was and she seemed to be doing well. She wouldn’t be interested in him; she’d made that quite clear. Well he was doing very well himself in the butcher’s shop. He could even afford a wife if he so wished.
Daisy Gilbert wouldn’t be interested in him as a punter, but how would she react to an offer of marriage? It was respectable and she would share his bed as Mrs Bert Croucher. He smiled to himself and thought after all, no ordinary decent man would want her after the Solent Club. Well he didn’t mind that at all, which made him quite special, he mused. Yes, he wasn’t a bad catch; he could provide a home, money for clothes, and a good living too. After all, he wasn’t a bad-looking bloke; he dressed well, and what more could a girl ask for – especially one who had been a prostitute.

On Wednesday, his half day, Croucher had a bath, went to the barber’s for a haircut, picked up his best suit from the cleaners and prepared to propose to Daisy Gilbert. On the way to her shop, he bought an extravagant bunch of flowers. He arrived just as she was closing.

Bert opened the door of the shop and entered. He was taken aback by the classy interior, the beige carpet, chairs covered in velvet, and a small desk. It was simple but tasteful. He began to feel a little out of his depth. The well-dressed woman behind the desk spoke.

‘Good afternoon, sir. Can I be of help in any way?’

Blimey! He thought, what a classy bird, so well spoken. Daisy had really come up in the world. ‘I would like a word with Miss Gilbert, please.’

‘And who shall I say wants to see her?’

With a coy smile he said, ‘If you don’t mind I’d like to make it a surprise.’

Grace rose from her seat and walked into the workroom. ‘Daisy, there’s a gentleman bearing flowers in reception wanting to see you. He won’t give his name; he says he wants to surprise you.’

Daisy immediately thought it was Steven and rushed into the reception. When she saw her visitor, she froze to the spot.

Bert Croucher rose somewhat awkwardly from the chair which seemed lost beneath his large frame.

‘Hello, Daisy,’ he said. ‘I bought these for you,’ and thrust the flowers at her.

She had no choice but to take them, but she looked at him very warily. ‘Thank you.’

For a man who could look menacing, Bert was unusually shy. ‘I expect I’m the last person you expected to see,’ he ventured.

‘Yes, I was surprised. What can I do for you?’ Her mind was racing. What on earth was he doing here? And where the hell was Grace?

Grace was in the workshop, thinking she would give her friend some privacy.

‘I don’t suppose we could go somewhere where we could have a private conversation?’ he asked.

Daisy was horrified at the thought. She was afraid of this man and no way on earth would she be alone with him.

‘I’m sorry but we are very busy at the moment,’ she quickly replied, ‘but there isn’t anyone here at the moment.’ She glanced behind her but the door to the workroom was closed.

Bert Croucher cleared his throat. ‘Well, Daisy, I wanted to offer you a home.’

She was completely puzzled by this. ‘But I have a home.’

‘I know that. I mean a home with me – as my wife?’

He looked at the shocked expression on her face. ‘I know this offer will come as a complete surprise to you, but I’ve been thinking. As you are aware, I’ve always fancied you, and I thought if you agreed I could make an honest woman of you. After all I doubt you’ll get an offer of marriage from any man after your past … but I don’t mind that!’ He hurried on now he’d started. ‘I can provide for you, Daisy. My business is doing well; you’ll have plenty of money for housekeeping and a good allowance for clothes. I’ll take care of you. What do you say?’ He stood before her with a satisfied smile, pleased with himself. Certain that she would see his point of view – and be grateful to him.

Daisy Gilbert was shaken to the core. Who did Bert Croucher think he was speaking to her in such a condescending manner as if he was saving her from herself? But she also knew that this man could be dangerous and she would have to pick her words carefully.

‘Thank you for the flowers, Mr Croucher, and for your offer of marriage, but I must refuse. I am running a successful business as you are and I do not plan to marry any man. I shall remain a spinster and be happy to do so.’

This was not the response he was expecting at all.

‘But there is no need for you to be a spinster. I’ll happily take you on,’ he said angrily.

Daisy could feel her own anger rising. ‘I don’t want to be “taken on”, thank you very much,’ she snapped.

‘Now you listen to me, girl,’ he began.

Her eyes blazing, Daisy interrupted him. ‘No, you listen to me!
I’m sure you meant well, but I don’t want to be your wife, now is that quite clear?’

His demeanour changed. His eyes narrowed and his mouth tightened. ‘You’ll get no better offer. No man will want you as his wife with your past; I was prepared to overlook that.’

‘And I am prepared to overlook your impertinence, but it’s time you left my premises, Mr Croucher, as I do not intend to argue with you … and take these with you.’ She shoved the flowers back at him. ‘Good day to you!’

He went out slamming the door behind him.

It was then that Grace appeared.

‘Are you all right?’ she asked when she saw her thunderous expression.

‘No I bloody well am not! That damned butcher had the temerity to offer me marriage as no other man ever would, knowing my past, but he didn’t mind that and was prepared to take me on! Really!’

‘Who is this man?’ asked Grace.

‘He was a friend of Ken Woods. A nasty piece of work if ever there was one.’

‘Will he cause you any trouble?’ Grace looked worried.

Daisy frowned. ‘To be honest I don’t know. He was furious at my refusal; I thought he was going to take the door off its hinges when he left.’

‘I heard the door slam, that’s why I came through. Oh Daisy, what are you going to do?’

‘I don’t see I can do anything, after all he hasn’t done anything wrong. I’ll just have to hope he’ll calm down and accept what I said.’

But she was worried, knowing the man’s reputation.

Bert Croucher strode angrily down East Street, pushing pedestrians aside, still clutching his bunch of flowers. How dare that bitch dismiss him like that! There he was, offering her respectability and she turned him down. Who the hell did she think she was? He tossed the flowers into the gutter. A shabby street urchin stopped and picked them up, before running away.

Croucher called into the Horse and Groom and ordered a large whiskey. He sat and fumed as he drank it down before ordering another. That girl needs teaching a lesson. She would learn to her cost it didn’t pay to treat Bert Croucher that way, he thought, as he sat sulking in the corner.

At the end of the day, Daisy had another male visitor, but this time she was happy to see Steven Noaks enter her shop and was thrilled after he’d looked around and was obviously impressed.

‘Hello, Daisy, this really is very smart I must say.’ He walked over to inspect the gowns, displayed. ‘These are beautiful, so much intricate work and so stylish. You are indeed a talented young woman.’

‘Thank you,’ she said, smiling happily. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?’

Walking over to her he said, ‘I wondered if you would like to come out to dinner this evening?’

Daisy was delighted at the invitation. ‘I’d love to,’ she replied.

‘I’ll come and pick you up about seven this evening then.’

‘Do you remember where I live?’

‘Yes indeed I do. I’ll see you later.’

Grace emerged from the workroom as he was leaving. She gazed at the uniformed young man with curiosity. Seeing the happy expression on her friend’s face she said, ‘I can see that this time you have no concerns about this visitor.’

Gleefully, Daisy said, ‘No. Steven and I are old friends; he’s taking me out to dinner this evening. I must rush home and get changed.’

As she dressed for her date, Daisy wondered if this time he would ask to see her again or would he just walk away at the end of the evening as he had done before? She had no need to hide her past from him, after all he’d been the one to pay for taking her virginity and she remembered just how he’d made love to her. The gentle way he’d treated her. Was she wrong when she thought there had been a certain feeling of affection there too? She hoped not because she’d thought of him often and had longed to see him again. Now that he had returned, was she foolish to hope that he was here to stay?

During dinner, Steven didn’t mention the Solent Club or the fact that she’d been taken to court accused of murder. She wondered if it was to spare her feelings or was it because he didn’t want to think about it? She tried to push such thoughts to the back of her head and enjoy his company.

They discussed the past sinking of the
Lusitania
by a German submarine and the loss of so many lives, several of them women and children.

‘Aren’t you afraid when you cross the Atlantic?’ she asked.

‘At the moment, the
Mauritania
is being used as a troopship; we have to carry men who are fighting in the Gallipoli offensive. It’s vital we get them there and we pray that it will be a safe journey. We do have superior speed which is a help. We don’t have a choice I’m afraid.’

He questioned her about her business. ‘I’m amazed to see you doing so well; how did it all come about?’ he asked.

‘After Dad died, I stayed on at the Solent Club’ – there she’d mentioned it – ‘until I had enough money to start work in one room. Then Grace Portman offered me a partnership after I wrote to her. Her money allowed us to move into proper premises and expand. I was able to employ more staff – and so we grew.’

‘How do you know Grace?’

‘She was a client of mine when I worked in London Road. I was amazed that a lady of her breeding wanted to finance me, I must say, but it seems to be working very well.’ She paused. ‘I did tell her about my background when she made her offer, as it seemed only fair.’

‘That obviously didn’t daunt her in any way,’ Steven said.

‘No, she’s an unusual woman. I’m very lucky.’

Steven sipped his wine, looking at Daisy over the rim of his glass. ‘You too are an unusual woman.’

‘Me?’ she said with surprise.

‘Yes, you. You have been through so much and yet, you’ve managed to overcome all that … and now you have your own business. I think that’s very unusual.’

‘But I am still a woman with a past, Steven. It will be there to haunt me the rest of my days. Someone will always remember and bring it up. I have to live with that and so will those who are a part of my life.’

‘That sounds like a warning, Daisy.’

She smiled softly as she gazed at him. ‘I think it’s something you should be aware of. I would hate for you to be affected by it and talked about, just because you have taken me out to dinner.’

He chuckled as he looked at her. ‘That’s really very sweet of you, but you forget, I was part of your past.’

‘Do you think I’ve ever forgotten that for a moment?’ she said. ‘What you did for me that night was something very special. But it’s what happened after that has me marked as a scarlet woman.’

‘But, darling Daisy, you were a reluctant sinner! You did what you had to for your father … and then for yourself. It was a valiant thing to do.’

‘That’s not how many people look at it; to them I was a common whore!’

He took her hands in his. ‘I don’t ever want to hear you describe yourself that way again. I
never
thought of you in those terms and I
never
will!’

It meant so much to hear this from him, that Daisy was overcome and couldn’t speak. But she knew that sadly others wouldn’t agree with him. She could live with it – but it was a lot to ask from another.

‘That makes
you
a special person too,’ she said, trying to lighten the conversation. ‘Are you in port for long?’ she asked trying to change the subject.

‘Yes, as a matter of fact I am. The ship has to go into dry dock, so I’ll be around for a few weeks. Of course I’ll have to be on duty some of that time. Perhaps you would like to come on board one day. I could give you a tour of the ship.’

‘Oh, Steven that would be wonderful! I’ve often wondered
what an ocean liner looked like and what it would be like to sail on one. Are you sure it would be all right for me to go on board?’

‘Absolutely! I can show you around and then we could have lunch in my cabin.’

‘Really? I can’t tell you how exciting that would be.’

He was amused by her enthusiasm. ‘When it’s your workplace you forget that to others it can be so interesting. It will give me the greatest pleasure. How about this coming Sunday; then you won’t have to take any time off from your business?’

‘Oh, yes please.’

He looked fondly at her. ‘It doesn’t take a lot to please you does it?’

Her eyes widened. ‘You have no idea just what a treat you’re offering. Steven Noaks, you have become blasé!’

He laughed loudly. ‘Me? Never! You forget that I’ve been at sea for a long time.’

When later he walked her home, he kissed her with great longing as he held her close. ‘It’s so good to see you again, darling Daisy. I’ll pick you up at eleven o’clock on Sunday morning.’ And he kissed her yet again.

When Daisy walked into her living room, she was in a state of euphoria. She could still feel the imprint of Steven’s lips on hers, the feel of his strong arms as he held her. She didn’t know when she’d been so happy.

Vera looked up from her sewing. ‘Well it’s obvious to a blind man that you’ve had a good evening.’

‘I’ve just spent a very enjoyable meal in good company. Steven is a purser and he’s taking me over his ship on Sunday for a tour and then lunch. Imagine, Mum, what it must be like to be a passenger on such a liner?’

‘That’s for people with money and not for the likes of us, I’m afraid,’ Vera remarked with her usual down-to-earth logic.

But Daisy would not be daunted. ‘Who knows? Maybe one day if the business is successful, we could afford a trip.’

‘On the Isle of Wight ferry maybe,’ Vera retorted.

‘Oh Mother! You must have a dream. Something to strive for in life, or how would we ever survive?’

‘Ah well, love, I’ve been around a lot longer that you. I only
want enough money to live on and pay the bills … and to be healthy,’ she added. ‘That’s enough for me.’

Daisy leaned down and hugged her. ‘At least we can do that already, thank goodness.’

And that was all down to her daughter, Vera thought as she continued to sew. She was pleased to see Daisy so happy, my God she deserved it after what she’d been through. Folding her work carefully, she prepared for bed. Putting out the lights, the two of them went upstairs.

As Daisy lay in her bed she wondered what Steven was thinking. He couldn’t have kissed her as he had done without some kind of feelings for her. But were they enough? Anyway, she’d enjoy every moment without expecting anything, then she wouldn’t be disappointed. She turned over and settled down – and fell asleep with her fingers crossed.

At the Manor House in Brockenhurst the same evening, Grace Portman received an unexpected visitor. Frank Baker, Hugh’s batman, called to see her. He was still in uniform, but looked gaunt and unwell. She ushered him into the living room and poured him a brandy.

‘I’m so pleased to see you,’ she told him. ‘I often wondered what happened to you.’

He told her briefly about the action he’d seen. ‘I’ve been invalided out of the army and am waiting to sign off. My lungs are shot from the gas attacks we had.’ He started coughing, then apologized. ‘Sorry about that, it catches me unawares at times.’ He sipped his drink. ‘I was with your husband when he died, Mrs Portman.’

Grace felt the blood drain from her face. She was just beginning to start the day without thoughts of her husband being uppermost in her mind and now she was faced with the fact of his demise.

‘Did he suffer?’ she asked quietly. ‘Only they wouldn’t allow us to open the coffin.’

Baker hesitated. How could he tell her that her husband was blown up by an exploding bomb and severely injured? ‘No, Mrs Portman, he didn’t feel a thing. It was very sudden.’ At least that was the truth. ‘He was a fine officer, very brave and held in high regard by his men. I thought you’d like to know that.’

‘I always worried that he would take unnecessary chances,’
she admitted. ‘Hugh was a bit gung-ho, if you know what I mean?’

The man smiled. ‘He was fearless it’s true, but he was too good an officer to be foolish.’ He drank his drink and rose to his feet. ‘I must be on my way but I just wanted to come and see you and tell you about the Captain.’

‘Where are you staying?’ Grace asked anxiously as she was concerned for his health.

‘In the village with my family.’

‘Then I’ll get my man to drive you home.’ As Baker went to refuse, she insisted. ‘It’s the least I can do.’ She rang the bell for the maid and instructed her to tell the chauffeur to bring the car.

When she was alone, she thought about Hugh. She was pleased to know that he hadn’t taken any chances during his time abroad. That had been a great relief. She wondered just what he would have thought of her being in business and allowed a slow smile to creep across her features. He would have had a fit! She, however, had found it an ideal way to get on with her life and cope with being a widow.

When eventually she went to bed, she felt a sense of closure after Frank Baker’s visit. At least she knew that Hugh hadn’t suffered and that meant a great deal.