The Reluctant Virgin [Ride 'em Hard 6] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (17 page)

He had a couple weeks to clear out, but had no desire to hang around and rehash old memories. It was best for him to get on the road, start fresh as soon as possible. Their herd was sold off, and he owned nothing of value. He was as free as the wind now.

Matthew stood on the second rung of the split-rail fence to get a full view of the prairie he’d grown up on. One last look. It was an emotional moment, and he wished he had more…wished he had a woman like Cindy to share this tumultuous time.

He recalled roughhousing with his brothers Chase and Grant, working together during brandings and harvest time. So many memories, only a ripple in time now.

“Hey!”

He turned his head to find Josh Granger approaching.

“Hey.” Matthew couldn’t muster any enthusiasm, still looking off into the fields.

“I heard about the sale. I’d say congratulations, but I know it must be hard on you. When we moved here from our hometown, it took some getting used to. But now this is the place I call home. Change doesn’t have to be a negative thing, Matthew.”

“I have nothing, Josh. Not a thing. That’s not easy for a man.”

His friend climbed up on the fence with him, the old wood protesting. “You have Cindy.”

Matthew glared at Josh. Why on earth would he joke at a time like this? “Like I said. I have nothing.”

“Ms. Taylor’s at my ranch right now. And for some reason, one I can’t comprehend, she’s in love with you.”

“In love with me?” His head was spinning, trying to make sense of Josh’s rambling. The last time they spoke, his friend had a big smile for Cindy.

“Look, I went to find her. It wasn’t easy, but I got her to open up, to admit what she really wanted out of life. She avoided us because she couldn’t choose. She wanted a ménage relationship, like your sister and brothers.”

He had no problem with his siblings’ choices. If it made them happy, he was all for it. But Cindy didn’t seem the type. She was so quiet, withdrawn. With a scarred past like hers, he doubted she’d be able to handle one healthy relationship, never mind a ménage.

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Ask her for yourself.”

He jumped off the fence, landing on two booted feet. He had to secure the barn doors then he’d hit the open road, see where it led him. “It wasn’t long ago you threatened me to stay away from her. Now you claim to want to share her. What is it, Josh?”

“I want her happy, and she wants you.”

“If she wanted me so badly she would have called me. The girl left without a word. That’s a clear sign of disinterest if ever I saw one.”

Josh shrugged. “Fine. So, I’ll tell her you’re not interested then. Me and Chance will have to console her. Better for us.”

He stopped dead in his tracks. “Who the hell is Chance?”

“I told you she wanted a ménage. You, me, and Chance Anderson, a laborer where she lives. She claims to love us equally, like three parts to make a whole.”

Matthew was developing a headache, too much information overload, too much to digest. It was only weeks ago that Cindy was a blushing virgin. He’d been a gentleman and left her intact. Now she was ready for the big leagues—three men?

He wasn’t adverse to the idea, but he didn’t know the other man and Cindy hadn’t called on him herself. “If she wants me so bad, why didn’t she come?”

“I wanted to surprise her. I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I’m not proud of, Matthew, but I want to do right by Cindy.” He massaged behind his own neck with one hand. “I love her. I want my daddy to look down from the heavens and see his dream come alive. See a family living on the Granger Ranch, not two lost souls.”

His friend was being sincere. He could feel the pain when he spoke of his father. He missed Mr. Granger himself, so could only image what Adam and Josh were going through. If Matthew wanted to contact his parents, he’d only have to pick up a phone or drive down to the city for a visit.

“What’s Adam think of all this?”

Josh laughed out loud. “He doesn’t know. Chance and Cindy are up in my room right now, and Adam was in the kitchen when I left.”

“Now this I’ve got to see.”

“Good morning, baby girl.”

Cindy smiled sleepily as she peeked open her eyes. Her dirty-blond Adonis stared back at her, his head propped up on his hand.

“Morning, cowboy.”

He ran his hand through her hair, tucking stray hairs away from her face. “I could get used to waking up to you every morning.”

“Forever?”

“Forever.” He kissed the tip of her nose.

“Where’s Josh?”

“Don’t know.” Chance slipped off his side of the bed and began to dress. She was still exhausted from what the men had put her through yesterday. How could they expect a woman to experience orgasm after orgasm and not sleep twelve hours straight?

The sun was streaming in through the opening in the heavy curtain. A new day. There was no longer a decision as to
if
she’d settle down with these men, it was a question of
how
and
when.
She knew she’d made the right decision because, for the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel like treading water. Cindy had made the choice that was right for her. It felt liberating, and she had no regrets. First on the agenda would be to call Matthew and apologize for her behavior. He was such a sweetheart, the only good thing she could salvage from her miserable past. He was the last piece in the puzzle.

Living arrangements, telling family, employment…the list seemed never-ending, but it was worth it. If all the chaos led to a happily ever after with the three men she cared about, it would be worth every struggle.

She got dressed and then joined Chance downstairs. Before she even reached the bottom stair, she heard arguing.

Then she remembered Adam. Hadn’t Josh told his brother? It was his irritated voice she heard shouting above the other. She hurried into the kitchen and found the two men facing off, no sign of Josh.

“Cindy. Is it true? You spent the night with my brother
and
this guy? I know I heard one man in his room, didn’t anticipate two.”

“Josh should have explained.” She knew her face was beet red. It would take her a long time before she was comfortable talking about her multiple partners. Even though it was growing more common in society, it still felt taboo.

Just then the side door to the house burst open bringing in the freshness of the morning air. In walked Josh. And Matthew.

“Thanks for telling me about our second guest,” said Adam. If my rifle had been near, I might have shot him as an intruder.”

“Sorry. I didn’t think they’d wake before I showed up. As you know, it was a long night,” said Josh, winking at Cindy. Her face grew hotter.

The five of them sat down at the old oak table. There was too much testosterone in the room. She felt like the cause of all the tension and began to question herself.

“So…” started Adam. “You sure you want to discuss this in front of Matthew?”

“He’s part of this,” said Josh.

Matthew continued to watch her from the opposite side of the table. If she reached out her hands she’d be able to meet him in the middle. The fact Josh brought him on his own volition was something. The fact Matthew came was everything. She had hope. The outcome of today would decide the rest of her life.

“The three of you. And her?”

“Like you always tell me, shit happens. Same thing with love,” said Josh.

“And why am I in this discussion?” asked Adam. “Please don’t tell me you want me to join in.”

“Lord no,” said Chance. “Three other men would be more than I could handle.”

She kept quiet as the men continued to discuss their relationship as if she wasn’t there. Matthew kept looking at her. She wanted to fold herself into his arms, feel his acceptance, but she chose to keep as invisible as possible.

What would life be like living with Chance, Josh, and Matthew? She’d never had sex with the three of them, but imagined it would be something to remember. What she really envisioned when she thought of the future was the simple things—dinner together, working the land side by side, and quiet nights by the fire. Would they fight, get along, fall madly in love?

“I think that’s the best course of action,” said Josh. She’d zoned out, lost in thought. “What do you think, darlin’?”

“Sorry. What?”

“Taking everything into consideration, I think it would be best for everyone to settle here. Matthew’s ranch just sold, and Chance doesn’t have a place of his own.”

“You want me to move here? I told you I hate this town.” Just the thought of living in the same town she grew up in made her claustrophobic. It was like moving backwards rather than forward. She began to clam up. Although she wanted a future with her men, looked forward to it, she never contemplated all the logistics.

“It can’t be so bad, baby girl,” said Chance. “It’ll be a change for the both of us.” He sat beside her and squeezed her knee. It anchored her slightly, but she was still more confused than ever. She should have thought of this. The men seemed to be in relative agreement, but she was lost.

“I need some air.” She stood up and nearly ran to the side door. Cindy burst out into the open air, taking a deep breath to calm herself. This was what she wanted, but the thought of her old town terrified her.

“You okay?” asked Matthew. He’d joined her outside. Without thinking, she hugged him around the waist. He held her close, resting his chin on top her head. She found comfort in his arms. He was familiar, safe.

“No.”

“I understand what you’re feeling, but you can’t hide from the past. You’re not the same girl you were. I barely recognized you. You’re a woman and a beautiful one at that. Things will be different.”

“You don’t know that. Everyone knows me here. I’ll be the same Cindy Taylor I was before—the cripple, the invalid. At least in my new town I’ve reinvented myself.”

“You’re imagining things. If anyone dared to upset you, I’d be sure they’d never mutter another rude word again.”

She believed him but still needed time to think, to come to grips with what the men proposed. It was the most logical choice. Josh even mentioned finding it difficult working the ranch alone with Adam. The other two men had no land of their own. They could pool their resources and settle on the Granger Ranch. It could become home to all of them, the location of their combined happily ever after. But it was too good to be true. Cindy was only used to heartache and disappointment.

“I need to go home. I need to talk to my mom. I–I need to think this through.” Luckily, she’d driven her own truck out here. She had her keys in the front pocket of her jeans, and she was itching to get away. She began to back up, moving toward her vehicle. “I’ll call tomorrow.”

Matthew hadn’t moved. He just stared at her with those blue puppy-dog eyes. She didn’t want to hurt him. “Don’t run, Cindy. Don’t you disappear on us again.”

“I need to think,” she repeated.

She climbed into her truck and started the engine. As she turned the truck, she swore she heard him call out, “I love you, Cindy Taylor.” Or it may have been the wind.

Cindy cried herself dry on the way back to town. She had to continually wipe away her tears to see the road ahead of her. It would be so easy to turn the truck around and return to the cowboys who claimed to love her. She wanted to. But she was leery of happiness. Every time Cindy believed she’d found it, it was either a lie or pulled away from her like a carrot on a stick. This situation was different because she trusted these men. Her problems were internal. She had to overcome her insecurities before she lost her chance, pushing the men so far that they’d cut their losses and be done with her.

She pulled into the driveway of her home. Maybe not home for much longer. Her mother was sitting on the porch, pinching the tips off of peas. Cindy was going to greet her, put on a happy face so she wouldn’t worry. But when she was about to open her mouth, the floodgates to her emotions unleashed. She rushed into the house and burst into her room, dropping down on her bed.

Cindy cried into her pillow, releasing everything pent up inside her—now and from years of keeping stoic. Her mother’s gentle hand rubbed circles on her back. She knew she’d come. She was beyond hiding now.

“Tell me what happened, Cindy.”

She shook her head, her face buried in her pillow.

“Come now. It can’t be that bad.”

After crying a while longer, she rolled to her side, sniffling and wiping her eyes. “I might be in love,” she said.

Her mother smiled. “And this is a bad thing? Does he not love you back?”

“Yes. It’s not that…it’s me. Something’s wrong with me. I don’t–I don’t know how to accept love.”

Her mother pulled her up into the cradle of her arms. She rocked back and forth like when she was a girl crying after being teased at school. “You deserve love, Cindy. I’ve always told you, but for some reason you never believed me.”

“I’ve always been different.”

“But we loved you no less. The
right
man wouldn’t see your faults but the wonderful woman you are. Don’t hide from love, embrace it.”