The Rescuer (27 page)

"So am I." He reached over and brushed back her hair, slipping her sunglasses up on top of her head. "So am I," he whispered. "It's a good place to find some peace in life, not that you're helping that much." He let his thumb trace her smile. "I'd love to kiss you right now."

She blinked at him.

"Stephen, where's the charcoal for the gril ?" Dave cal ed.

Meghan averted her face. He was going to murder his brother-in-law. Stephen let his hand drop. "I'd better go help him. You want me to take you down to the enclosure to meet the other animals?"

She looked up at him, a smile playing around her mouth again. "Yes, please. And there's no need to spil blood over Dave's timing."

"The moment he interrupted is indelibly printed in my memory as another of my life's unfortunate if onlys..."

Blackie about tripped him as he darted back to Meghan's side. Stephen caught himself before he stumbled into Meghan. "I'm going to get the party started now before something else untimely happens."

She patted his chest. "Go."

Like her mom, Meghan made a wonderful hostess.

Stephen watched her mingle with his family and stop to talk with Shari. The group had moved inside as darkness fel . Marcus rested his arm around Shari's shoulders, and something he said had Meghan tipping her head back as she laughed. She had relaxed 242

after a comprehensive walk-through of the large room and how he had set up chairs for the party. She paused to touch the corner of the couch, orient herself, and then walked toward where he had put the table with drinks. He'd have to remember to provide more location cues for her next time he had a gathering.

Meghan's parents joined him. "It's been a great evening, Stephen."**

"Thank you, Bil ."

"We're going to head on home. Would you stop by the office tomorrow? The new extraction gear arrived.

We're going to load it so it wil be available on the ambulance. I'd like your opinion."

"I'l be there about nine," Stephen said, pleased Bil made the request. When the nights were quiet and long, he was beginning to miss the paramedic work.

Maybe part-time wouldn't be such a bad idea, just to keep his skil s up-to-date. He walked Elizabeth and Bil to their car and thought about sounding Bil out tomorrow about the idea.

The night was gorgeous. As soon as he could reasonably slip away from his own party, he would have to talk Meghan into walking with him. Going back to work as a paramedic even part time had some risks with it. Was he ready to be responsible for someone's life or death? Before he pursued the idea, he wanted to know Meghan's reaction. If she had reservations, she'd be a good enough friend to be honest about it.

Stephen looked around the party. Kate and Dave were down by the fire ring where a few logs had been tossed together so marshmal ows could be toasted.

Stephen picked up two glasses left on the picnic table and walked their direction. Dave leaned over and kissed Kate. Stephen stopped, quietly turned, and went back toward the house.

He found the group inside had moved to the living room where Jack was tel ing some story and gesturing to a chorus of laughter. Smiling, Stephen turned into the kitchen area to return

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the glasses. Meghan was ahead of him, walking over to the cooler fil ed with ice and pop cans.

The barrier he had put around the cutout flooring where the sink and dishwasher used to be had slipped forward and her hand held palm out would pass over it.

"Stop, Meg!" He could see her catching her foot on that opening and pitching into the cut-off pipes sticking up into the air, impaling herself. He caught her around the waist and swung her away from the danger. For a moment, al he could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat. "Sorry. The barrier had moved. There was a hole."

She rested her head against his chest and his heart came out of his throat. The image of blood flowing made him cold.

Her hands came up to settle around his. "I knew the pipes were there, Stephen. I'm okay. You can let me go now." Her words final y registered. He eased his grip and she stepped back.

The glass had spil ed, staining her top. Her hand touched the wet fabric. "Thanks for stopping me."

She hadn't needed his help. He'd overreacted. And he'd been the one to embarrass her. "I'm sorry Meg."

She looked up and gave him a rueful smile. "It's fine. It wil dry- Til get you a towel."

"That would be good." She put out her hand and felt for the wal , reorienting herself.

She accepted the hand towel he brought her. Her hand reached out and touched his chest. "Go get me a Diet Pepsi please, and I was getting Kate a 7 Up."

"Sure."

She walked back into the living room, only a slight hesitation to her first steps until she reached the change in flooring marking where the wal used to be.

She moved to the couch and took a seat beside Shari, who leaned over to ask Meghan

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something and got a smal shake of the head in reply.

Stephen sighed. It wasn't the first time he'd embarrassed her; it wouldn't be the last. It just wasn't a great lead-in for asking her to go for a moonlit walk.

He got her soda and Kate's then went to join them.

The party broke up shortly after ten. In the sorting out of people heading to both the bed-and-breakfast and the hotel, Meghan accepted an offer from Marcus and Shari to drop her off at home. Stephen ended up saying good-night to her in a snatched moment between the three of them stepping outside and the ringing phone pul ing him back inside.

It wasn't how he wanted the evening to end.

Later Stephen walked the property one last time, checking his animals, confirming the barn was padlocked, and the alarm system instal ed with Jack's help was turned on. He wanted the pager he wore to go off so he would have an excuse to drive into town.

After the emergency was done, he'd drive by to see if Meghan was stil up and ask her what she'd think of his being a paramedic again part-time. He wanted a ful life back-with the job he had run from and with something that was more than just a friendship with Meghan.

It was a night for wishful thinking. The clock didn't turn back easily. And just the thought of seeing Meghan bleeding had been enough to make him cold. The sight of anyone bleeding like that... He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it. She'd come so close to stumbling into an accident.

He kicked at a fence post. He knew why he overreacted. Would his past never leave him alone?

He could have at least apologized better for the spil ed drink. Stephen pushed his hand through his hair. He could walk around deciding on what he should have said and done, or he

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could see if she was stil up and tel her. He wouldn't get much sleep tonight while he pondered the issues of his future.

Stephen walked back to the house, picked up his keys, and took the truck into town. He drove down her street, expecting her to have already turned in but hoping luck was with him.

Meghan was sitting on her front steps, Blackie beside her.

He parked the truck and stepped out, closing the door and pocketing the keys. "Meghan? Is something wrong?"

"No, I was just hoping you might stop by" She was stil nursing the soda she had taken with her an hour before. "This is one of the few times I real y hate the fact I can no longer drive. I real y miss it."

His steps slowed as he reached her. He'd known her for a long time. His eyes narrowed as he studied her.

"You were praying for me to show up."

She gave him a smal smile. "It worked didn't it? If I need something, I find it makes life easier to pray and give God a chance to intervene if He'd like to. I bet you started thinking about me? I love how that just happens."

"In this case I don't think it takes God to make me think of you. Maybe to make me not think about you..."

She laughed at that gentle rejoinder and patted the step beside her. "I need to talk to you and was hoping to do it face- to-face. Another half hour and I would have just cal ed you."

He sat down beside her. "Okay. I'm here. What's going on?"

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

He about slid off the step turning toward her. "You didn't-"

Her hand on his arm stopped him. "It was nice that you acted like you did. You don't know how many people hesitate when they should say something, and I end up walking around with two different-colored socks or with a twisted ankle or a jammed finger. I'm glad you acted, even if it was unnecessary."

"And I was coming over to apologize for how many things I

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didn't think through before tonight-the room cues, the moved furniture, the path down to the barn. You had to do several saves just to be able to enjoy the party."

Her hand on his arm tightened. "Let's cal it even." Her smile settled deep inside his heart where it made him feel like a knight in shining armor, saving her with his fumbled attempt to help her. He laughed softly as he relaxed. "You've got a deal, Meg."

He stretched out his legs and settled back leaning against his elbows. Should he tel her why he had acted as he did, or simply close the subject? Honesty on a night like this mattered. And the one thing he'd rarely let himself talk about with Meghan was the past.

"I'l apologize in advance for the next time I embarrass you because I overreact, Meg. It's instinct to watch out for you. It's got nothing to do with whether or not you can take care of yourself. I spent years watching out for Kate too, and it's got nothing to do with her skil s as a cop. If you get in trouble, I just need to be near enough so I can help."

"I truly appreciate the sentiment, but why?" He should have said something years ago. "Peg." "Tel me about what happened. You've never talked much about that day."

"I was nine, my sister was just six. I was watching her that day for an hour while Mom went grocery shopping and Dad worked in the garage." The sounds of that afternoon stil echoed in his mind like yesterday Why, oh why, did he have to remember so wel ? "She was playing with her dol s in the living room, the dol s lined up in front of the couch, using the one I gave her for Christmas to direct her choir while Peg sang some made-up song. The phone rang. I remember the phone rang and I yel ed at Peg to quiet down so I could hear."

Meghan's grip began to hurt and he rubbed the back of her

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hand with his. He was okay.. .he had to be. He couldn't change the memory. "Mom cal ed checking on something I wanted her to get at the grocery store for a sleepover I was having with friends from school. Peg slipped outside while I was on the phone."

He sighed and the overwhelming emotions quieted.

The rest just was. He didn't let himself feel it. "She was always fascinated with our neighbors swimming pool.

She could swim like a fish. But on that day, something went wrong. When I found her Peg was facedown in the water. I didn't know CPR."

He smiled at the pain that her grip caused, for it kept him in the present. "Ease up a bit, honey."

Meg opened her hand so fast he was pretty sure she hadn't even been aware she'd tightened her grip again.

Her silence helped. Meg cared more about listening than trying to soothe with premature words.

"The paramedics that came worked on Peg forever and never gave up, even as they took her to the ambulance. They were stil working on her when they reached the hospital. I never forgot that. They got her breathing again, but it wasn't enough to save her life.

She died three days later."

Meg leaned her head against his shoulder. "You were nine. And you know CPR now."

"No one ever blamed me-Mom reassured me and hugged me so much it was embarrassing. She tried so hard to convince me it wasn't my fault, that Peg had had an accident. Of course it was my fault. We al knew it. An accident, but my negligence."

"I'm not six years old. I can hol er with the best of them, and I've got Blackie who can bark up a storm and get help."

"I know that, Meg. It's not that. You were up on the ladder helping Kate get boxes down at the store the other day. I watched you and I was nine again inside.

It's not that I think you might fal ; it's more subtle than that. But if you fal , what wil I do and 248

where wil I be. The more someone matters, the more intense the emotion that I have to be there. To back off, I have to care less, and that's a vicious line to try to walk."

She smiled. "That's so romantic."

"Quit changing the subject."

She laughed and leaned against him. "Thank you. The close attention and your choice to eventual y be a paramedic are starting to make sense. You can't not hover over Kate unless you love her less. And you're starting to hover over me because I'm slipping into your heart too."

It was more like a ful invasion, but he would let her think it was something softer. Neither of them knew what to do with this emotion pushing them beyond just being friends. She didn't want it, and he didn't know what to do with the feelings that kept getting stronger. "I just wanted to make sure you knew that your being blind has nothing to do with it. I don't think in any way that you can't handle yourself. I didn't hover in the first years after you went blind."

"You didn't care what happened to me?" she teased.

"Not so much my heart was in my throat at the thought of not being there. And I see that smile you're trying to hide."

"So what are we going to do about this new development?"

"You'l be kind enough to pat my arm, smile, and let me hover. And I'l see what I can do about shoving my heart out of my throat when you get yourself close to trouble."

"Why don't you just trust Jesus to take care of me?"

"I don't think He cares as much about you as I do."

"He loves me more actual y."

"Then maybe it's the fact that it just doesn't feel like He does. We've already established the feeling in my gut is driving this."

"Would you just relax your grip and let God be God?

Jesus is the one person you'l never have to rescue. If He wants the weather stil , He makes it stil . He wants the dead to come to life,