The Revolution (24 page)

With my head down, I close the door, and walk away. Like his eyes, my heart beats wildly in my chest. Terror of what’s to come, or what could be ahead: if he’s in my home, or
if if if
rumbles through my body and I swallow hard, pretending everything is A-okay as I leave Kaz. With my finger on a lit-up phone, I’m ready to call the cops if needed. While knowing I need to fear what’s right in front of me, my thoughts are on all the different outcomes when I walk inside my home. The
what ifs
run free.

What if I choose Kaz?

What if I take the chance?

What if Mark releases a video or more?

What if Mark hits me again for leaving him or… kills me?

What if I die on my terms instead of his?

What if I choose love?

What if Kaz ignores my pleas and comes after me?

I’ve got to form a solid plan that can succeed this time. How do I do that? What do I do? What if—
A knock breaks the vicious what-if cycle and I swing open the door before common sense kicks in. Kaz is standing there. Like too often lately, tears fill my eyes. “What are you doing?”

“Choosing to live my story with you.”

My body crashes into his and we kiss as if
what ifs
never existed.

The threat of Mark’s retribution.

The ominous knowledge of broad-spectrum humiliation.

The fear I’ve lived in, the fear of Mark, the fear of losing Kaz forever.

It’s all replaced with warmth, hope, and love.

Kaz’s warm lips feel like heaven compared to the hell I’ve been living. I pull back and look him in his glorious, loving eyes. “I’m going to pay for this, but I need and want you so much.” I kiss him again, wanting to wipe away all thoughts of Mark and his threats, to live a new story.

THE SUV DRIVES
off just as Kaz pulls back from me this time. “What do you mean, you’re going to pay for this?”

“It’s about Mark. You must know—”

He stops me. “Let’s go inside.”

After we’re safely in and the door is locked, I lead him to the kitchen. “Drink?”

“Yes, but tell me what you mean?”

“You’re gonna need peas too. Fortunately, I have a few bags in the freezer.” I grab a bag and go to him. Holding it to his cheek, I place my other hand on his chest. “Stay calm. I need you to know what might happen if you’re choosing to be with me.”

“I’m here and I plan to stay.”

“Kaz, the other day I wanted to see you. It was all I wanted, but he turned up here. He’s made videos of us.” Hoping he understands without me going into great detail, I leave it open-ended.

“Videos? Of you having sex?”

“Yes.” I turn my back to him, feeling ashamed as if I did something wrong, as if I should be embarrassed.
Again
. Another moment Mark has tainted.

“You knew, or you didn’t know he was filming?”

When I turn, I plead, wanting him to know I wouldn’t have made them with him. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know about any of them, but he says he has a lot and he’ll release them if I leave him.”

“He’s blackmailing you into dating him?”

“Only until he can break up with me. Publicly. He wants to win the hearts of America by playing the
Poor Me
role of the heartbroken golden boy to the media.”

His brow furrows. “Why?”

“Ego,” I reply, the only word needed to explain. “I couldn’t let those videos get out. I couldn’t let him drag you through the media.”

Fingers flex at his side. “What do you mean
me
?”

“We should clean and bandage your hand.” I reach out offering mine, relieved when he takes it. I lead him down the hall and into my master bathroom. He sits down on the bench while I dig out the first-aid kit.

When I sit next to him, I start cleaning his wounds with hydrogen peroxide. He never flinches, but asks, “How can he drag me through the media?”

“He said he would.” I take a closer look to make sure the blood is gone and his knuckles are ready to be bandaged.

“And?” He chuckles, seemingly amused by what I’m saying when my heart is still firmly planted at the bottom of my stomach.

“What do you mean
and
?” I start wrapping the bandage tape around his hand. “I don’t want to hurt your image, the band, your brand. I know how Hollywood works.”

He laughs, a laugh that’s hardy and deep. “A sex tape being released of my girlfriend and her ex doesn’t hurt my image.” He caresses my cheek. “You can’t hurt my image. You can only make me look better, baby.”

A bunch of words are coming from his mouth, but I only hear one. “Your girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” he says. “I’m not letting you go this time. We’ve been playing at this tug of war for too long.” The caress of his hand soothes my soul and he leans in to kiss me. “I don’t want to be one of those couples who loses sight of what’s important because of bad communication or misunderstandings. Like I told you before, I want you. I want to be with you. What do you want?”

“I want you.” There’s no hesitation in my voice.

“I’m so damn glad you said that.” Nose to nose, he breathes me in, closing his eyes, and licking his lips. My own breathing deepens and I close my eyes as his hands hold my face to his. “I’m going to kiss you again. And again.”

I move his now-bandaged hand to my lips and kiss, hoping to heal it quicker. “I want more than a kiss.” My voice is breathy and desperate, but that’s how I feel whenever he is near.

Turning my hand in his so he’s holding me, he says, “Come with me.” We only make it as far as the door. “Take off your dress, though I’d like to add that you look amazing in it.”

My eyes go wide from surprise because his are deviating from polite to determined to demanding in an instant. “Thank you. You look amazing yourself.”

I lift my leg up to take off my heel, but he kneels down in front of me and takes my ankle between his hands. Looking up at me, he rubs his hands up the back of my legs and under the hem of my dress. “You wanna play truth?”

“Not dare?”

“No dare needed. Just truths.”

It’s so easy to forget the world outside these walls when we’re together. So easy. And wonderful. “Tell me all your truths, Kaz.”

Encouraging me, he guides me closer, pressing his face against the fabric at the apex of my thighs, and he inhales. Hot breath strikes and I inhale sharply. I stand before him, watching him, allowing my fingertips to rest on his shoulders. He inhales me again, moaning from pleasure. The sound is vulgar and raw, his voice husky when he looks up. “I’ll tell you a secret if you tell me one.”

“You go first.” His lust-filled expression engages the very core of my being and gives me confidence.

Hiking the bottom of my dress higher, he takes one of my legs and lifts it over his shoulder, and confesses, “I’ve gotten off more than a few times imagining your legs wrapped around my neck, and your heels digging into my back while I fuck you with my mouth.”

Just take me now.

But he asked if I wanted to play along, and I intend to. Feeling sassy and very flirty, I set both my feet back on the ground and take a step back. With his eyes glued to me, I bend over, sliding my hands down the front of my legs until I reach my ankles. All those years of yoga have paid off when it comes to my flexibility. While bent over, I look up and ask, “Shoes like these?”

“Shoes exactly fucking like those.”

I lift up, curving my back in the most seductive way I know how. “Then I’ll leave them on for you.” I turn my back to him and move my hair to one side, and over my shoulder. But I look back while I do. “Maybe you can help me with this dress.”

“I’ve wanted to do that all night.” His fingers take to the top of the gold zipper and he slides it down slowly as his breath blankets the back of my neck.

I drop my head forward and close my eyes. The troubles of the day drift away. Kaz’s touch consumes me. His lips against my skin cause me to sigh in pleasure, his sentiments intoxicating. “I missed you.” The sweetest of kisses is placed along my spine, followed by another even lower.

“I missed you.” His hands slip into the open back of the dress and around to my chest. He takes my breasts in hand, taking what he wants, making me feel sexy and desired.
His erection is steel against my back, and my body reacts, molding my softness against his hardness.

He kisses the curve of my neck and my head rolls to the side as he lets the dress fall to the floor. “Lara,” he whispers, then kisses my shoulder while caressing my breasts. “You pushed me away, wanting me to hate you, to feel used by you. But I know you. I know you would never do that. It’s not in you. That’s why I came for you. It’s why I can’t leave. You’re the most beautiful woman, the only woman I’ve ever dreamed about. I want to be yours. And I want you to be mine.
Mine.
Promise me you’ll be mine.”

Turning around in his arms, I look up. It doesn’t matter that my body is bare, or that he’s fully clothed. We’re equals together.
I want you to be mine. I want to be yours.
It’s not a demand. It’s a request. This is not about ownership but a relationship. It’s about us. “Yes, with all my heart.”

Kaz makes me feel special, sexy, and intelligent. I don’t need to hear a promise in return. I can feel what I mean to him and that’s a heady combination. “Kaz,” is all I manage to say before he takes me quickly, backing us onto the bed behind me.

His belt is undone. His jacket comes off. The buttons on the front of his shirt are popped off as he pulls it open across his chest. After settling between my legs, he hovers over me, his words a bond. “All I need is you. Only you.”

“You say that as if you can predict the future,” I whisper, searching his eyes for his truth.

“I say that knowing that what I feel for you has never been felt before. Our love is unique, Lara. Our love is a world of undiscovered prisms fighting to be seen for the first time. Together, there is only good.”

“I need to know all of you. Your good. Your bad. What I feel for you is new and different. It scares me, exposing me as a fraud in every relationship before now. How is that possible after such a short time?”
What bad have you known, Kaz?

“We can’t see the future, but we can change it. Your past doesn’t matter just as mine doesn’t. Right now I need to kiss you, and I want to make love to you.”

“I want to make love to you.” I whisper, “Just us. Nothing between us. Just us.”

“Are you on the pil—”

“Yes.”

Divine lips take mine as if he’s owned them all along. He enters me, my mouth falling open with a light gasp from the delicious pressure. Tilting my head back, I leave my neck exposed. Kaz sucks gently, moving along my throat, and down lower. I tighten my legs around him and run my fingers through his hair. His movements have a purpose, a mission to please me. He does, feeling so good. Our bodies heat as our breaths pick up. “I want on top,” I say, my desires getting the best of me, wanting any control I can muster to help take my mind to otherworldly places only Kaz takes me to.

The bed feels too small for something that feels so amazing, so explosive in my chest. The blinds are open and the moonlight streaks across the bed. Messed dark hair, alluring eyes, and hands that know my body—he’s magnetic.

I climb over him and sink down, take a deep breath, and embrace the fullness that could easily overwhelm if I let it. My head lulls back as I begin to rock forward, the sounds of our sex slick as moans fill the air.

When I look down, his eyes are open and fixed where our bodies are joined together. My hands land on his chest and I gather the control to slow things down. I want to remember everything—everything between us—about him, and this moment when ecstasy overrides everything else.

I’m flipped in a drastic turn of events, and he says, “You’re teasing. Turn over.”

With a devilish smile, I admit, “I might have been, but I was enjoying you.”

When I roll over, he takes my hips and lifts them up, angling me before he touches me between my legs and thrusts his cock deep inside. With each push, my breath is forced out and I close my eyes, loving his strength. I drop my head forward just as my orgasm hits, taking over.