The Rift (23 page)

A tear slid down my cheek, and he kissed it
away.

“I know there’s something you aren’t telling
me, and I’m not going to pry, but don’t decide to go with Wraith
unless it’s what you really want.”

I just stared at the ceiling and kept my
mouth shut. I had promised Tessa I wouldn’t repeat what she’d told
me about Jed. I knew, even if I did tell him, Henry would argue
that Jed made his own choices and my leaving Varius wouldn’t make
it easier for him.

Henry lay back down on the bed next to me.
“Wraith is a complicated guy and nothing about his existence has
ever been or ever will be easy. Even Tucker doesn’t know much about
him. Please don’t go with him unless you’re certain he can give you
what you want. If you truly believe he has the power to make you
happy, then go, Kelsey, because I’m tired of seeing you sad.”

I tried to hold back my tears, but they just
kept streaming down my face, and before I could stop myself, I was
sobbing onto Henry’s shoulder, again. He held me tight and I just
let it all out. The fear and tension of the past week, and the loss
of Henry as a pretend boyfriend to hide behind, the end of his
genuine need for me.

“Tucker and I still won’t be able to touch
without you, Kelsey. We’ll never let you go too far from us.” My
sobs had stopped, and there were just a few tears streaming down my
face.

I laughed, as Henry had intended. I curled up
tight against him. A soft knock at the door made us both sit up. I
tried to dry my face as Henry invited the knocker in.

“Hey,” Thad said, sticking his head in the
door. “I just wanted to let you know that Tessa finally woke up
enough to shift, and she’s resting in Jed’s room. It looks like
she’s going to be okay, but…” he stopped speaking as he noticed my
probably red puffy eyes and sad look. He stepped into the room and
shut the door behind him. “Is something wrong or are you just upset
about Tessa?”

“Henry and I just broke up,” I said, my voice
cracking, even though I managed to smile.

Henry wrapped an arm around my shoulders and
squeezed me tight against him. “We’re just better as friends,” he
said, seeming way too calm about the whole thing.

Thad didn’t smile, his face twisted with
worry. “Why? Are you finally going to accept Jed has a thing for
you and go after him?”

“The only person Jed has a thing for is
Tessa,” I said. “This was all Henry’s doing.”

Thad opened his mouth, but Henry shook his
head, and he closed it. “It’s time for Kelsey to step out on her
own,” Henry said. “She has some choices to make, and she can make
them more easily if she’s not tied to me.”

Thad’s eyes widened. “You aren’t seriously
considering taking Wraith up on his offer are you?”

“It’s not out of the question.”

He shook his head. “No, no, no, Kelsey.
Please talk to me before you make a final decision.”

I nodded and sniffed. “Yeah, okay.”

After Thad left, I took a shower. When I
returned to my room, Henry pulled me down to the bed and squeezed
me tight to his side. I snuggled up with him, listening to his
breathing as it evened out and he fell asleep. I lay awake, staring
at the wicker ceiling fan and thinking. I was so tired, but every
time I closed my eyes, I saw Tessa’s bloody, broken body. It seemed
inconceivable that she would ever again be the bright, fierce girl
I’d known for such a short time and that made me sad.

I lay awake in bed, thinking of Wraith and
what my life might be if I left with him. If he couldn’t stay in
the wolf body, he’d have to find a new body, and I wasn’t sure I’d
be okay with that. It was one thing when the soul in his current
body was already gone and quite another when…Or maybe he’d stay in
his reaper form. Either way, I’d be free of Varius and so would
Jed. I wouldn’t be able to help anyone, wouldn’t be able to do
anything about the towns reapers had already taken, but at least
I’d be free. I’d have to do whatever Wraith asked of me, and I’d
have to go wherever he went…I shuddered as I realized I couldn’t do
that. Wraith might seem like a nice guy, and he might have good
intentions, but he was okay with killing people so that he could
live, and I wasn’t okay with that. I wasn’t okay with turning my
back on the reaper war and letting them take over. I couldn’t be
with Wraith, no matter what it cost me to stay at Varius. Jed had
made his choice, and I had to stop feeling guilty about that.

I extricated myself from Henry’s arms and sat
up, feeling pretty proud of myself and also slightly sick. I walked
to the front porch, clutching my cell phone. I wanted to call
Wraith and tell him right away but, by the time I got outside, I’d
changed my mind. I figured it would be better for all of us if
Wraith thought he still had a chance to win me to his team. By the
time I’d sat down in a rocking chair on the front porch, I’d
changed my mind again, feeling guilty for deceiving Wraith when
he’d been so honest with me. I stared at my phone, so preoccupied I
didn’t notice Jed until he cleared his throat.

I looked over at him and forced a smile. I
wanted to ask for his advice, but he seemed so distant lately, I
didn’t feel I could. “How’s Tessa?”

His lips turned up in an almost smile that
couldn’t hide the worry in his eyes, and sat in the chair right
next to mine. He stared out at the forest for several long moments.
“She’s going to be okay physically, but we won’t know her mental
state until she wakes up.” He paused. “I’m sorry about you and
Henry.”

I nodded, not surprised Thad had told him.
“Thanks, but it’s really okay. It’s been a long time coming, and
he’ll always be my best friend.”

Jed studied my face for a moment. “Thad also
said you’re thinking about leaving Varius for Wraith.”

I nodded again, not trusting myself to speak.
“I was thinking about it, but—”

“I think you should stay.” He leaned toward
me, his elbows on his knees. I was frozen in place by the look in
his eyes, the pleading and the fear. “I know Varius isn’t the best
place to work, and my mother is insane and calculating, but I don’t
want you to leave. That’s probably incredibly selfish of me, but I
needed you to know that.”

“That’s good to hear,” I said, my heart
beating too fast and my mouth suddenly dry. “I was just about to
call Wraith and—”

He stopped me with a hand on my knee. I
stared down at it, too shocked to move. “I’ve been an idiot and an
asshole. When you kissed me—”

“We don’t have to talk about that,” I said,
leaping to my feet. I so didn’t want to hear the ‘I like you, but
not that way’ speech.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me gently back
down to my seat. “My mother wants us mated, Kelsey. She wants us to
get together and make babies who will become the sole property of
Varius.”

I leaned back in the chair, feeling like
someone had punched me in the stomach. He’d told me before that we
would be good candidates for mating, but I didn’t know his mother
felt so strongly about it.

“All I wanted to do when you kissed me was
kiss you back, but I couldn’t. I want to get away from Varius. I
can’t let anyone hold me there. If my mother got her way and we had
kids, it would just give her another hold on me. I would never want
my children to be owned by Varius or my mother.”

“I didn’t ask you to have my babies,” I said,
aiming for a light-hearted joke, but failing miserably because I
couldn’t really breathe.

He smiled at my attempt at humor, but he
squeezed my knee harder and shook me a little bit. “Breathe,
Kelsey. It’s okay. It will be okay.”

I let my breath out in one long exhale and
started to shake a little bit. I took another deep breath and the
shaking got worse. It was too much. Everything that had happened
and what Jed was telling me, was overwhelming me. Jed kneeled in
front of me, wrapped his arms around me, and sat back down with me
on his lap. He squeezed me tight to him and rocked me.

“I thought I could handle it, you and Henry
being together. It was for the best,” he said, his warm breath
tickling my neck. I breathed in his scent, and felt myself get
calmer, my breathing becoming more even. My heart still raced, but
it was more from his body around mine than fear or shock. “But I
missed you. I can’t imagine you not in my life, but I can’t be
around you without wanting more. I want more–”

“Me, too,” I said, not able to believe it was
really happening. That Jed had actually wanted me all that
time.

He chuckled softly in my ear. “You just got
out of one relationship. Do you really want to jump into another
one?”

I didn’t want to leave the warmth and comfort
of Jed’s lap, but he needed to know the truth. He deserved to know
the truth. I pushed against his arms and he let me go, releasing a
disappointed sigh as he did. I stood, grabbed his hand, and pulled
him to his feet. He followed me back to my room without a word. I
dragged him through the door and closed it behind us. Henry was
still sleeping, so I stood with Jed right next to the door and
spoke to him in a low voice.

“Henry and I were never together,” I said.
“He’s Tucker’s soul mate.”

Jed looked over at the sleeping Henry, then
back at me. “Tucker is…?”

I nodded, no longer able to stop smiling.
“Yep.”

Jed grinned and shook his head. “And Henry…So
why did you…?”

“I can help them be together,” I said. When
Jed continued to stare blankly, I added “Physically.”

Jed nodded. “Oh.” His eyes widened and he
looked at Henry again. “Oh.”

“It’s not like that,” I said, my cheeks
warming. “At least I don’t think it is. I close my eyes and pretend
I’m not there. Anyway, Tucker doesn’t think it’s safe for anyone to
know about him and Henry, but they wanted to be together. I was the
perfect cover.”

“And what did you get out of it?”

“You should see how happy they are when
they’re together,” I said. “And Henry trains me.”

Jed nodded, his nose only centimeters from
mine. “Are you sure you want to be with me, Kelsey? If my mother
finds out she’ll never leave us alone.”

I let my forehead fall against his. “We could
keep pretending that Henry and I are together,” I said. “Then she
doesn’t ever have to find out and, once we’re away from
Varius…”

“She won’t let us both go without a
fight.”

“You don’t think we can take her?”

“It can’t be any harder than staying away
from you has been,” he said.

I grinned and before I could have another
thought, his mouth was on mine and I was lost in the feel of his
firm lips, his tongue teasing mine, and his body pressed against
me.

“It’s about damn time,” Henry said from the
bed, but Jed didn’t stop kissing me.

Henry’s words snapped me back to reality and
it occurred to me that maybe I was letting Jed off too easy. I
stopped kissing him and pushed him gently away. “You’re awfully
sure of yourself,” I said. “I kissed you three months ago and a lot
has changed, you know.”

He stepped back and took his hands off my
waist. I had to bite back a smile at his worried look, but he knew
me too well. He shrugged and started to smile. “I couldn’t waste
any time staking my claim,” he said. “The west coast pack will be
here any minute.”

“Staking your claim? Really? That’s the way
you see this going down,” I said, gesturing between me and him.

He had the decency to grimace. “Poor choice
of words. I just wanted you to know how I felt, and find out if
you’d be willing to give me a chance.”

“Hmmm,” I said, tapping my chin. “Maybe you
ought to tell me about the West Coast pack, before I make a
decision.”

“What?”

“You said you wanted to stake your claim
before I met the west coast pack. Why?”

“Two words, Kels,” Henry said from the bed.
“Smokin’ and hot.”

“Really…” I walked around Jed and sat down
next to Henry. “So what do you think, Henry? Should I give Jed a
chance or wait to meet the wolves?”

I looked over and noticed that Jed hadn’t
turned around and his hands were fisted.

Henry groaned and stood, stretching. “I think
I’m leaving.” He walked around Jed, who hadn’t moved, and out of
the room.

Jed turned when the door was closed and sat
down next to me on the bed. He wrapped an arm around my waist and
pulled me close to him. “What’s the decision? Do you want to be
with me or not?”

“In a super-secret relationship that no one
but Henry and Tucker will ever know about?” I scrunched up my nose
and tried to look disgusted, but I couldn’t help the huge grin that
stretched my face. “I’m willing to give it a try as long as you
agree to quit hiding things from me. We can’t do this if you’re not
honest with me.”

He let his forehead fall against mine. “I
promise to tell you everything,” he said. “Like how good your ass
looks in those jeans.”

My entire face warmed, and I resisted the
urge to close the distance between us and kiss the lips I couldn’t
stop staring at. “Like how you extended your contract with Varius
after I signed my own contract with them.”

He sat back, looking confused.

“Tessa,” I said.

He nodded and the confusion cleared. “She
wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

“Well, she obviously cares about you, and she
was right, you shouldn’t have done that.”

“Maybe I haven’t been entirely clear,” he
said. “I would have signed a fifteen year contract if it meant I
got to see you and make sure you’re okay.”

I wanted to jump into his arms and kiss him
silly, but I couldn’t let that go. “My life isn’t more important
than yours, Jed. You can’t throw away your shot at a future for
me.”

He shook his head, smiling. “I hope you’ll be
my future,” he said. “I couldn’t walk away from you.”

My heart was pounding so hard I thought it
might break out of my chest. “What about Tessa?” I asked.