The Rise of Emery James (18 page)

I'll do anything in the world to do just that.

I steal a glance at the clock on the television and see that it's two in the morning. I know I have to move us. She won't appreciate waking up like this in the morning. If I know her at all she'll be embarrassed to have revealed so much. I take another few minutes to simply enjoy the feel of her before finally shifting her off of me. She doesn't wake up, she curls to her side and pulls the blanket to her, clinging to it the same way that she'd clung to my shirt.

I could leave her here, but I don't want to. I bend and scoop her up, cradling her in my arms. I can't help but steal a kiss to her forehead as I make my way to the stairs.

"Cole,” she mumbles sleepily against my chest.

"It's okay, just rest. You're okay," I say quietly as I climb each step, carefully. I make it to her bedroom and luckily her bed is unmade and rumpled. I lay her on the mattress and move the covers up and over her body.

Her eyes open slightly and she smiles at me. "Don't leave. Stay with me, Cole."

My heart thumps loudly in my chest as her eyes drift shut and her breathing returns to a deep steady rhythm. I know she's asleep, but the idea of leaving now feels wrong. I stand there for a minute, debating my next move. Finally, the image of her waking up and needing me makes the decision for me. I pull the armchair from the side of the room closer to the bed and take a seat.

If she wants me to stay, then I'll stay. I'll stay right here where I'm available to chase away any nightmare that threatens her. I'll do it because even after all of this time, Emery James still owns my heart.

Emery

I WAKE UP WITH
fuzzy memories clinging to the edges of my consciousness. I remember falling asleep with Cole. I'd opened my eyes at one point to see his handsome face relaxed in sleep as he held me. Just the feel of him against me left me feeling warm and safe. This was Cole. My history. And now he was quickly becoming a very big part of my present.

It all feels a little bit like a dream. Like some fantasy my subconscious pulled out without permission.

I stretch feeling rested. The last thing I really remember is waking up on the couch. I don't remember how I got to bed, but it's a pretty safe bet that Cole put me here. Something tugs at my memory, of wanting him to stay. But it feels far off and as I glance around the room I can clearly see that he's not here. It's for the best. If I'd asked him to stay it would have turned weird.

Unfortunately, there is one thing that I do remember perfectly from last night and that’s spilling my heart out to him and confessing everything about my dad and Nana. I can’t lie, it felt good to purge some of that out. And Cole didn't judge me one bit for any of it. Which was a relief. And just one more reason I can't help but feel uneasy about how close we are getting.

Cole and I are friends, and at the end of the day, I need a friend more than I need anything else. That doesn't mean I am so blind that I can't see that we are dancing dangerously close to something else. I keep inviting him closer and he keeps accepting. I have no idea where we will end up, but it is something I can't think about yet.

I climb out of bed and make my way downstairs to the kitchen. I told Dad I'd come into the office today so he could show me a few things. Now that I'm settling in he's been adding more to my plate. I think he likes having me there and helping out at the office has been really good for me. I'm learning a lot and the work is keeping me busy and keeping me grounded. Just having a routine to my day has been helpful. Who knows, maybe finding a new normal is the key to healing.

I shuffle over to the coffee pot and start a strong brew. I lean against the counter and wait, lost in thought and examination. It's then that I notice the note near the sugar bowl. I peer down at the strong dark handwriting and can't help smiling.

I forgot how beautiful you are when you sleep. I’m sorry I left before you woke up –You know how mean the boss can get. I’ll see you soon. Love, Cole

So he had stayed. The knowledge does something to my insides. My stomach flips and my nerves flutter with something close to anticipation.

Friends, I remind myself. For now, we are friends. He stayed because he cares. The way an old friend would. It's not smart to look into it any further than that.

I wish I knew how to be friends with the boy I used to love.

AFTER WORKING WITH DAD
most of the morning we decide to go to lunch. Dad never takes time to go to lunch during the week. If I asked him he'd usually just grumble and say there was too much to do. But today he suggested it and so there was no way I was going to refuse.

My dad is probably the best man I've ever known. It's a shame I never appreciated that before. I guess I'm lucky to have recognized it now, before it's too late. I'm starting to grow used to having him around all the time and I'm surprised how good it feels, how easy. We're doing our best to make up for lost time.

"You're really getting the hang of everything at the office," Dad says as he sips some sweet tea.

"Have you forgotten how smart I am?" I tease him.

He laughs, "Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, Sweetheart."

"Good thing we're humble," I point out.

"Good thing," he agrees with a chuckle.

As we dig into our sandwiches Dad asks, "So, are you liking working at the office? You're pretty much the only lady there. We aren't too gross or crude for you are we?" he smiles.

"I really like it, Dad. It's good for me to get out of the house and it feels good to be productive. The guys are all very nice." Fact is, a lot of them have been with Dad for years and some of them watched me grow up so they all look after me like their kid sister. The rest of them know I'm the boss's daughter so they are on their best behavior.

"Good. I think Cole might have given them all a speech to treat you like a lady," Dad grins, waiting for my reaction.

"What?" I ask, my eyes widening at the thought.

"He's pretty protective of you. I'm sure you've noticed."

I shrug, trying to play it off. "He's been a really good friend to me."

"Hmmm," he mutters.

"What? What's with the hmmm?"

"Nothing. Just an innocent hmmm," he smiles.

I don't push for an answer because I'm pretty sure I'm not ready for it anyway.

"We're going out with some of Cole's friends tonight. Well, they used to be our friends I guess, but I haven't seen most of them in years. I'm kind of nervous about it," I admit.

"Don't be nervous, Emery. It's all pretty much the same as it was when you left."

But it's not. It's not the same at all. Even the pieces that are the same have different edges to them, changed just enough that I can no longer fit them into their proper places.

"I guess," I say noncommittally.

"Don't put too much pressure on yourself, Sweetheart. Just take it day by day and eventually it will get easier. Eventually it all starts to feel normal."

I study him, his words hitting my heart and squeezing it tight. My Dad and I have a lot in common, I realize. He's spent years keeping his pain all to himself too.

"Thanks, Daddy. I couldn't have done any of this without you," I admit softly.

This brings a soft smile to his lips and he gives me a quick nod.

"Always, baby girl."

Cole

I CAN’T HELP BUT
feel pretty smug and happy that Emery decided to come out tonight. Not just with me, but with everyone from our past. She's hung out with the girls, but this is the first time she's been out with everyone. She's throwing herself into her past and so far she's wearing a smile as she does it. I can tell she's nervous, but there is something about her that's changing right before my eyes. There is a spark flickering just beneath the surface, waiting to ignite. It's as if that scrappy side of her is starting to wake up again and I love watching it happen.

We roll up to the lake shore where everyone has already gathered. I can see the fire roaring in the built in fire pit, surrounded by a circle of a dozen lawn chairs. The faces belong to people we grew up with and I'm not sure if that makes it easier on Emery or worse.

I pull out a couple of chairs and the cooler that I brought out of the bed of the truck and give her an encouraging smile. "Ready?" I ask.

She nods bravely. I take her hand as we walk up to the crowd. She squeezes it tightly with her tiny fingers which confirms her nerves. But she's still wearing a warm smile and a brave face.

Everyone greets us excitedly. Annie comes up and gives us both a hug and half of them follow coming to greet Emery excitedly. I leave my hand on the small of her back as she hugs and greets everyone. I want her to know I'm still right here. Like that small touch can give her some kind of strength or courage. It makes me feel better at least.

After the barrage of hellos and we've missed yous I set up our chairs in the circle and open the cooler, offering a beer to Emery. She smiles as she takes it and I don't miss the deep breath she seems to sneak in. I hope this isn't too much for her.

"Emery, I love that top. It's so pretty," Jessica says.

"Oh, thanks," Emery smiles back. I can almost see the thoughts whirling around in her head. She almost looks dizzy. I place a hand on her knee and run my thumb across her bare skin in an effort to calm her down.

It seems to work. I see her body start to relax a little and when Kelsey gets up and comes and sits on the cooler beside us to chat she genuinely seems happy to see her. I let the girls talk and join in with the conversations going around us.

This is how it's always been, friends gathered around this fire, talking about nothing and jamming to music. It's one of my favorite things to do. It's home to me.

I glance over at Emery every few minutes to check on her. I can't help but smile at the way she seems to be holding court. A few other girls have joined Kelsey and are sitting around her talking. It is such a scene from the old days that I can't help but smile.

I train an ear to make sure they aren’t asking her any questions that are going to make her uncomfortable. But right now they seem to be talking about nail polish and other stupid girl stuff. I'm not sure, but it seems like Kelsey is keeping an eye on her too.

An hour later and everyone is having a really good time. The fire is glowing bright and Emery has moved her seat closer to mine as she listens to the conversations that mingle among the group.

She's sitting so close that I feel her tense beside me when Charlie pulls out his guitar. In small towns people hold onto habits and traditions and sitting around this fire with Charlie strumming his guitar is pretty standard. Once upon a time, Emery would jump in and sing along. Her haunting voice lifting out into the darkness is still one of my favorite memories.

"Want to sing with me, Em?" Charlie asks. She shakes her head and moves in even closer to me.

"Come on. It will be like old times. I miss hearing you sing." Voices chime in with their agreement.

"I don't want to. I don't sing anymore." Her voice is low and quiet.

"Of course you sing," Annie dismisses her refusal.

Emery lifts her gaze to Annie's and says, "I don't want to."

"You don't have to sing," I assure her. I'm talking to her, but my voice lets everyone around us know that I'm speaking to all of them. I won't have anyone pressuring her. Luckily the conversation moves on when Charlie simply starts to play. I feel her body relax a little knowing that the attention is off of her. I want to take her hand in mine and give it a reassuring squeeze, but I don't think it goes along with our
friends
agreement. So I simply lean my shoulder against her and give her a wink. She smiles at me shyly and it's enough. We've always been able to speak without words and at times like this I'm glad.

Emery

I'M PRETTY SURE COLE
has a list of activities that he's determined to subject me to. Mission get Emery out of the house and living life again seems to be his top priority. I don't mind though. Getting out has been good. Seeing people I used to know, and places I grew up with has been refreshing.