The Rock Season (21 page)

Pops was watching me with a knowing look. He was holding Mom’s hand on the table and I watched as he lifted it and kissed it, never taking his eyes off me. I smiled back, praying that God would bless Stevie and me as he had blessed my parents.

“So I hear congratulations are in order. When do you leave for New York?” Stevie was talking to Aziz across the table. His eyes lit up and he rested his elbows on the table.

“I go to meet my bride in two weeks. Her family is from New York. My parents are there as well, so the wedding will be there. I’m sorry you won’t be able to come, Aunt Shireen.”

My mother pouted at Aziz. “I am too, nephew, but my husband needs this trip. We will celebrate when you bring her here.”

We raised our glasses to Aziz and his upcoming nuptials. And then the grilling began.

“And then we will plan your wedding, Ali. Not to worry, Stevie, we don’t have to put on a large traditional wedding but we will-”

“Grandma Samadi, can we please-”

“Ali, you need a good wife. My Nasreen is going to be perfect.”

Stevie was watching Aziz with an intrigued expression.

“Aziz? How do you know she is a good match for you? I don’t mean to be rude, I’m just really interested. You haven’t met her, have you?”

He wiped his mouth with his napkin and smiled excitedly. “I have not yet seen her in person, but my mother sent me pictures and we have chatted online quite a bit. She finished college and wants to be a teacher when she comes to California. Maybe you can help her? That would be wonderful! She won’t know many people here. I’ve put a down payment on a four-bedroom townhouse near here so we will be close. She’s never been to California, but she very much wants to come…”

And on he went. Stevie asked a few more questions, but mainly just let him run on and on about his beautiful wife-to-be. I was grateful my mother hadn’t insisted on an arranged marriage, although I couldn’t help but see the simplicity in it. Aziz was still in his twenties, had a great career ahead of him, and was  very traditional in his beliefs. I hoped he let Nasreen work, but he might insist she stay home with the children. I was betting that if she were to become pregnant, Grandma Samadi would likely move in with them. It sounded like this condo was big enough for the four of them.

I must have spaced off because Stevie was helping the grandmothers clear the table and do the dishes when I finally came around to find Pops by my side.

“Aaron, take a walk with me, Son.”

Stevie smiled at me over her shoulder, wordlessly letting me know she was fine with my family. Pops and I stepped out onto the back porch and he stopped to stretch his back before leading me down. We walked a couple of blocks without talking. I could sense he was trying to find the words.

“Son, you and Stevie need to do what’s best for ye both and to hell with what yer crazy grandmother says! Marry her if ye want, but do it on yer terms. Hell, go on and elope! Yer mother and I just want you to be happy. I feel terrible to be leaving ye for such a long time but-”

“No, Pops. Don’t apologize. You and Mom deserve this. We’re going to be fine.”

He nodded and kept his gaze ahead of him. “I have truly been blessed in my life. You are a good son and I am damn grateful that ye have been such a huge help through all of this cancer bullshit. I promise, when we return from this trip, ye can let yer mother and I handle things and really get out there and live yer life. You and Stevie.”

I smiled to myself and shook my head. “Pops, if I wanted to be out there living my life I would. I like my life. I like it a helluva lot better with Stevie in it, for sure, but I wouldn’t change anything.”

Pops let out a breath and patted me on the shoulder. “I love you, Son. I am very proud of ye.”

“What the hell brought all this on,” I asked, laughing and wiping tears from my eyes.

Pops chuckled and wiped a few of his own away. “Couple of nancies we are, crying out here.”

I chuckled, thinking I didn’t give a shit if we looked like nancies. There were more important things in life, like my father.

We meandered back to the house and found Stevie, Gretchen, the twins and the grandmothers playing cards in the kitchen when we returned. Naturally Grandma Samadi was winning at UNO. It was well known that she cheated. Aziz and Mom were talking in a corner of the kitchen in Dari. Pops headed straight for Mom, whispered in her ear, and they said their goodnights.

I turned to my brothers and asked, “What are you knuckleheads doing tonight?”

Peter looked to Gretchen, who shrugged.

“You all want to come to open mic? We’re sponsoring an all ages night tonight.”

The three teens looked at each other and shrugged. I looked to Stevie and she nodded.

“Sounds great to me, what do you guys think?”

 The twins were happy to get out of the house and Gretchen seemed to really enjoy talking to Stevie. I told them I’d be a minute and I ran up to my apartment to grab my guitar. When I brought it back down, Stevie’s eyes lit up.

“Are you really going to play,” she whispered.

“Maybe. If the mood strikes.”

She rolled her eyes and took my hand. The five of us walked down B Street to the Bistro. There were tons of people on the street tonight. It was late fall but the weather was still nice and between the shops, the movie theater, the restaurants and bars, there was something for all walks of life. I paid the cover charges for all of us and we grabbed a table. I made my way over to the emcee for the night and added my name to the list. Schroeder and Callie came in, her boyfriend Trevor bringing up the rear, and we added more chairs. The place was packed within a half hour and everyone seemed to be having a great time.

Meanwhile, I was moving towards nervous wreck territory. I prayed I didn’t make a fool of myself tonight. Stevie snuggled up to my side and carried on conversations with Gretchen and the twins as well as Schroeder and Callie with ease. Schroeder was obviously very taken with her and Callie immediately liked her, I could tell. I doubted there was anyone who could resist her charms. She was enigmatic. I sat and watched her, hoping I wasn’t making a mistake.

The emcee called for me and I took my guitar up to the small stage and sat on the stool. I made sure I was in tune and then cleared my throat before speaking into the mic.

“This is for Stevie.”

There was applause and then silence as I started playing the song I’d heard at Stevie’s apartment. I couldn’t look up. I wasn’t very confident with this whole singing and playing thing. My voice was ok, nothing extraordinary. I’d spent most of my nights banging around with this song, trying to get it just right in case I ever had the opportunity to sing it to her. I just hoped she understood what I was trying to say.

Stevie

When Aaron came down the steps from his apartment earlier with his guitar in hand, I got really excited. I’d done a fair job of keeping it under control until this moment. He could really play! His deep, warm voice translated into a raspy, passionate one as he played and sang one of my favorite songs. “Over My Head,” by Drowning Pool was a song about being with someone who seems to be the perfect one, the one who makes you a better person. Aaron was that person and my guess is he felt the same about me. It’s funny how music can fill in so many of the spaces we just don’t have the words for. He either kept his eyes closed or watched his hands the entire time, like he was in his own world. In that place he was completely enmeshed in the song. You couldn’t tell where he ended and it began.

I perched on the edge of my seat for the entire song and when he was finished, I stood and clapped like crazy, as did everyone else in our group. Gretchen was swooning.

“Peter, you should have your brother teach you how to play,” she said, leaning in close to her boyfriend.

I could see the wheels turning in his head, realizing that playing guitar and singing equaled a deeply affected chick. Patrick was frowning at Aaron and I wondered what that was about.

Callie leaned in and said, “He’s been practicing that for a while. I’m really glad you came tonight so we’d finally get to hear it.” She gave me a small smile and I wondered just how much she knew about me and my complicated past.

Aaron made his way back over to us as Schroeder and Callie took his place on the stage. I plastered myself against Aaron and kissed him enthusiastically. I felt him smiling against my lips.

“Did I get it right,” he whispered.

My cheeks hurt from smiling so widely. “It was perfect! I love that song!”  

He pulled me down onto his lap and held me close while his shop mates played some swing tunes. Schroeder played the piano brilliantly and Callie had a perfect voice for the jazz classics. After two songs the crowd went wild and started chanting for them so they played two more. Then we were all floored when Patrick joined Schroeder and Callie and played “Bai Mir Bist Du Shoen” while Schroeder pulled out a trumpet! Unfortunately, there was no dance floor. I had to settle for bouncing a little in Aaron’s lap, trying not to fall on my ass or break his leg! It was so much fun and Aaron was so proud of his brother! When they finished, we all shot to our feet in a standing ovation!

“Damn, little bro! You sounded great up there! I’m so proud of you for learning to play!”

He tried to hug Patrick, who wasn’t having the adulation, and instead got a half-assed slug in the gut. He dramatically stumbled back and let Patrick creep over to the table and out of the spotlight. Once we all sat back down, we each had another drink and the conversation resumed.

Aaron was talking to Callie’s boyfriend about getting another tattoo and I paid close attention. I had been thinking it was time to get my first one.

“Do you have any openings coming up,” I asked. Aaron’s eyes flared and he smiled at me. I shrugged. “I was thinking of getting a tattoo for Nancy.”

His eyes crinkled at the sides and he kissed my forehead.

“Sure,” Trevor said. “Call the shop. Let them know you’re with Aaron and I’ll tell them to hook you up.”

I grinned and thanked him. Callie leaned forward and tilted her head a little.

“Who’s Nancy?”

Aaron started to speak, but I patted his chest.

“It’s ok.” He looked concerned, but I assured him with my strongest smile. “She was my daughter. She was stillborn a few months ago.” I took a deep breath and Aaron squeezed me. The twins and Gretchen had been listening and Peter frowned.

“What does stillborn mean?”

I explained to them what happened and Gretchen looked horrified.

“I didn’t know that could even happen! How awful!”  

I gave her a weak smile. “It was pretty awful, but I’m happy I had the time with her that I did. The doctors said I can try again someday. That makes it a little easier.”

Peter set down his glass and said, “Jesus, and you’ve had to put up with Grandma Samadi constantly pushing you guys to have babies and shit! I’m sorry, Stevie.”

I laughed. “It’s ok, Peter. She and I came to an understanding I think.”

Everyone was looking at me with a mixture of shock and awe, especially Patrick, and it was a little overwhelming. I was starting to feel really drained and hoped someone changed the subject. Thanks be to Gretchen!

“So I talked to Anita today. She’s doing really well in Independent Study and might even graduate early!”

The twins asked more about Anita and while they talked I turned and found Aaron staring at me.

“You ok tonight, McShane? You’ve been pretty quiet.”

He smiled and brushed my hair back from my shoulder so he could trace my strap with his fingers. “I’m good, love. Just taking it all in.”

I smiled down at him and leaned over to kiss him. “It has been a great day,” I agreed.

He was still staring at me, almost like he thought if he looked away I’d disappear. I hated that I put him in that position. I was back to wishing I could just give in and give myself wholly to him. And that made me sad. I didn’t want to be sad.

“I should probably get going home,” I said quietly. His expression was grim, but he nodded.

“Halloween is this week,” I continued, “and I wondered if you wanted to go see a show?”

He smiled broadly and said, “I was hoping you’d say that.”

We stood and he took my hand, bringing it to his mouth to kiss. I’d never get tired of his affection. We walked slowly down the street back to their house, entertained by the twins’ antics. Gretchen was completely enamored of Peter and he kept an arm around her the whole way. Aaron and I hung back, watching them be silly. When we got back to the house, my good mood faded. I didn’t want to leave, but I had to keep the parameters set. If I gave into my desires, I’d be up in his bed and never leave. Instead, I hugged him tight and he promised he’d call me with some show options. Neither of us wanted to let go, but he finally stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“It was a perfect date, Aaron. Thank you. And thank you for my song. I loved it.”

He smiled bashfully and said, “I’m glad you liked it. Text me to let me know you got home safe.”

I smiled and started up the car. It sounded much better than it did when I’d arrived here today! “Oh! Aaron, I told your dad, I’d come plant winter vegetables with him tomorrow. Is that ok?”

He chuckled and shook his head “Why wouldn’t it be ok? I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He smiled triumphantly and walked over to his steps to watch me drive away, still smiling and shaking his head.

McShane

I got to see her the next day. Wednesday she came to the twins’ water polo match. And we even went to the Pirates of Emerson Haunted Houses together with the twins and Gretchen on Halloween night. We were actually dating and I was loving it! Sure, it was killing me to not have her in my bed, but just holding her hand was fantastic! It helped that she never missed an opportunity to sit in my lap, wrap her arms around my waist, lean against my shoulder… I loved touching her and loved having her near me.

Mom, Pops and Grandma McShane left the day after Halloween for Ireland. It was sad to see them go, but I wanted them to have a wonderful time. Stevie and I finally got in a show. Elvis Costello played the Fox Theater in Oakland and it was yet another magical night with Stevie. The fact that we both loved music so much meant everything to me. She got me in a way no one else in my life ever had. Not even my parents. After the show, we sat in her car talking until the wee hours when we finally said good night, or good morning. We hadn’t told each other we loved each other since we’d last been intimate, but I knew she still felt the same and I prayed she knew I did, too.

Aziz and Grandma Samadi left a week later and I started sleeping in Mom and Pops’ room full time. Stevie called to see if I wanted to get tickets to see Alice in Chains on the second Saturday of November and I told her I wanted to go with her, but I needed to be home with the twins. She completely understood and offered to come make dinner for us instead. I wasn’t going to turn that down, especially since the most adventurous I’d gotten in the kitchen had been to pan-fry some frozen burgers. I told the twins they could invite a friend or two so Gretchen came and brought a friend of hers named Brittany, who apparently was not a huge Patrick fan. Either that or she was fantastic at playing hard to get.

Stevie arrived that night around five and got straight to work on the fish. She’d brought salmon fillets and potatoes to steam. I made a green salad and picked up some fresh sourdough bread. She looked right at home in the kitchen and I couldn’t help but wish we were alone so I could act out my naked kitchen fantasies with her.

Yeah, so it had been a couple of months since we’d had sex and as much as I was enjoying our dating, I was dying to get under that skirt she was wearing. I was dying for her, period. It was getting harder and harder to keep my hands to myself. She seemed a little more nervous than usual, so I sent the kids to go wash up and I stepped up behind her. I loved it when she wore her hair up, like tonight. I could easily nuzzle her graceful neck. I stilled her hands on the counter and kissed one side of her neck and then the other.

“Mmmm, that feels so good,” she murmured, pressing her ass back against me. I ran my hands lightly up her arms and felt the goosebumps rise on her skin as she giggled. She turned and looked up into my eyes.

“Will you stay tonight, love?” I didn’t want to push her, but I wasn’t exactly thinking with my right mind. She bit her lip and I couldn’t stop the groan that slipped out. Which caused her eyes to flare and her skin to flush… Right down…

“I would love to, Aaron. As long as it’s not too weird.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Weird how?”  

She laughed and rolled her eyes. “I don’t know, the twins? I don’t know!”  

I put my hands on her arms and pressed her up against the counter. “Don’t worry about them, they love you. But is it weird for you, love? Because I don’t want you to feel pressured-”

She pulled my lips down to hers and kissed me long and hard. At this point we would be lucky to make it through dinner without me all over her. I was just about to lift her onto the counter and have a go at her neck when I heard a throat clearing.

“Hey, Patrick. Sorry.” I stepped back from Stevie, who was pretty red. She turned around to keep working on dinner, which was almost finished.

“I just wondered if you need me to help with setting the table.” Patrick seemed really down and it was sometimes tricky to get him to open up.

“Sure, Patrick. I’d love to have the help since I don’t know where anything is. Aaron? Would you go tell the rest of the kids that dinner will be ready in about ten minutes?”

I knew what she was trying to do and I was grateful for it. I nodded and kissed her on the cheek, then grabbed Patrick in a headlock before leaving the room. I found the others in the family room playing video games on the Wii. Gretchen and Brittany were battling each other on Rayman’s Rabbids and Peter was enjoying having his girlfriend in his lap, probably a little too much. I couldn’t help but think about what Stevie said about it being weird to stay over. I knew we were really affectionate in front of my family. Perhaps I needed to have a talk with the twins about the difference between sex at their age and sex at mine. I smiled when I saw Gretchen look down at Peter and smile. And then I prayed they were being smart.

“Hey guys, dinner will be in about ten minutes.”

Brittany won the toilet plunger task right then and they moved into a musical number. The girls hopped up and followed the movements with their controllers. Peter’s gaze followed Gretchen’s wiggling hips.

I shook my head. “Peter, can I see you for a minute?” He looked guilty and stood up to join me in the hall.

“Do I need to remind you to keep it in your pants,” I whispered jokingly.

He laughed a little. “Yeah, probably. I can’t help it! How do you stand it?”

I thought back to the scene Patrick walked into in the kitchen and figured I better come clean. “I don’t stand it very well. But there’s a big difference here, little man. Have you guys…”

He looked down at his shoes. “I don’t want you to be disappointed, Aaron.”

I put my arm around his shoulder. “I’m only going to be disappointed if you guys weren’t safe about it. Or if you hurt her.”

He shook his head quickly. “No, man. She’s on the Pill and I used a condom, just like we were supposed to. And it was only like once or twice this summer. But man…”

I let out a breath I’d been holding. “I know. It’s rough. Just be careful. Is she open with her parents? They’ve met you, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah, and they’re ok with us dating, I guess. I don’t know if she’s told them. She got on the Pill at health services at school.”

This was such dangerous territory.

“Alright. Just be careful, ok? Don’t push her or anything. You’ll just have to take care of that yourself.”

I glanced down at the evidence of his frustration and he groaned. “Shit!”

I laughed and slapped him on the back. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

He ran upstairs and I headed back to the kitchen.

Stevie and Patrick were out on the back porch when I came back to the kitchen. I saw her give him a hug before they came back in. He looked a little uncomfortable, but before I had a chance to talk to him, the others joined us. I helped Stevie serve everyone and then we sat down to eat, her to my left with Brittany, Patrick to my right with Gretchen and Peter. Dinner was delicious. The boys were especially excited that we weren’t eating our traditional meals or the crap I fixed for them. When everyone was finished, they thanked Stevie, and we sat around chatting.

“I heard from Anita that her case is going to trial,” Brittany said, effectively silencing the entire group.

Patrick’s eyes shot to her. “When did you hear this?”

She shrugged and looked to Gretchen for support. “She told me yesterday,” Gretchen said.

Patrick cursed under his breath and Peter looked to me for help. “Why didn’t they call us and tell us,” he asked.

I assumed he meant the D.A.

“I don’t know, brother. I’ll call Monday. We knew this was a possibility.”

Brittany was looking at us strangely.

Patrick rolled his eyes. “Remember? We were the ones who broke it all up?”  

Her eyes went wide and she gasped. “I didn’t know who it was. I just heard it was chaotic. I didn’t know you guys were involved.”

“We weren’t involved, for fuck’s sake. We pulled those idiots off of her.” Patrick was getting really pissed. He pushed back from the table. “Aaron, I’m going to go workout.”

I nodded, knowing he needed to blow off some steam or we’d have to deal with his mood. I told him I’d come check on him later. He stomped down the steps and I could hear my stereo get cranked up once he got inside. The kids all glanced at each other and Gretchen put her arm around Peter.

“It’ll be ok. Maybe you won’t have to testify.”

He shook his head. “I kind of just wanted to put this all behind us.”

Brittany leaned back in her seat and muttered, “Easy for you to say. You weren’t the one who was raped.”

“What the fuck, Brittany,” Peter exclaimed, jumping out of his seat. “I’m the one who fucking found her! So yeah, I wasn’t raped, but I saw everything and it’s not like I can just forget about it either!”

Gretchen stood up next to him and put her arms around him. He let her embrace him, but gave Brittany a hard look. “Anita is my friend, too.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t have to give up your whole senior year to go into Independent Study! She’s missing out on so much. The least you can do is make sure those bastards pay for what they did to her! Can you believe they are saying she asked for it? The boys got some fancy attorney who thinks they can get off. They’re claiming she took them back there and started the whole thing, that it was consensual, and since they are all under 18…”

“CONSENSUAL,” shouted Peter. “How the fuck is it consensual when the person is completely passed out and not even able to move! I can’t fucking believe this.” He turned away from Gretchen and stepped over to the back door.

“I hope you guys testify then. It might be all that saves her from complete humiliation.”

Peter looked back at Brittany and said, “Of course we’ll testify. We already said we would. I was just hoping we wouldn’t have to.”

He was so upset. I hated all of this for him.

“Don’t worry, Peter. I’ll call the D.A.’s office Monday and find out what the hell is going on.”

He looked at me and I hated the expression of fear and revulsion on his face. He didn’t seem appeased. “Gretchen, I’m going to go. Can you get a ride home?”  

Gretchen nodded and looked at Peter. “Yeah. I’ll talk to you Monday.”

Brittany thanked us for dinner and went out front to her car.

Stevie looked at me and I just shook my head. “I’m going to go check on Patrick,” I said to her, giving her a kiss on the top of the head.

“I’m coming with you,” said Peter. I put my arm around him and left the girls staring after us.

Stevie

“I’ll help you with the dishes,” offered Gretchen.

I thanked her and we made quick work of it in silence. When we finished, she looked towards the back door.

“I hope they are ok. I hate that this is happening.”

I touched her arm and said. “Me, too. Peter is going to need some support from you. Do you think you can be there for him?”  

She nodded enthusiastically. “I feel terrible! He wouldn’t have even been there if it wasn’t for me. He doesn’t even like parties, but I begged him to take me that night. We don’t go anymore.”

“That’s probably a safe plan. There’s just too many unknowns when you combine teenagers and alcohol, I’m sad to say.”

She nodded. She gave me a curious look. “Are you and Aaron like engaged?”  

I laughed and shook my head. “No. His grandmothers might say differently!”  

She laughed nervously. “Yeah, they are kinda pushy. No, I was just curious because Peter said you weren’t around for a long time and he had thought you guys were going to get married.”

I wondered about that for a minute, wondered what Aaron might have said to them. “It’s really complicated, Gretchen.”

She looked confused. “But you love him, right? I guess I thought-”

“I do! I do love Aaron. It’s just not that simple for me because of-”

“Your baby. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“No, it’s ok, Gretchen. You’re right. I kind of needed to take some time to get better. I’m still trying.”

She nodded and shook her head. “I don’t know if Peter is going to be ok with all of this. I want to be there for him, but I don’t know if he’ll let me.”

I could relate, completely. “All you can do is let him know by your words and actions that you are there for him. When he is ready, he’ll talk about it. If he’s not ready, don’t push him. That’s the best gift you can give him.” It was the gift Aaron had given me. I didn’t want to blow it.

Gretchen and I headed into the living room to start watching the movies she’d brought over for us to all watch. She brought the entire Paranormal Activity series since I guess they’d managed to miss them. I had, too. I never liked watching scary movies by myself because they were much more fun to watch with others. We had just started the first one and were about fifteen minutes in when Aaron snuck up behind me.

“You started without us?”

I screamed and spilled my iced tea all over myself. Gretchen started cracking up and so did the twins, who had returned to join us.

“You scared the crap out of me, McShane!”  

He laughed and followed me to the bathroom. “I’ll grab you a towel,” he said.

There was no hope. My clothes were drenched. I stripped down to my undergarments and when I went to take the towel from him, he was staring at me, completely stunned. He dropped the towel on the counter and shut the door behind him.

“You are so fucking beautiful, Stevie,” he whispered as he tentatively took me in his arms.

I giggled and took a step back. “You’re going to get it all over you, too.”

He licked his lips and turned me around. He pressed kisses into my neck as he unclasped my bra and then slid my panties down. When I was naked before him, he turned me around and seemed to be savoring the view.

“Um, I might need to borrow some clothes,” I said softly.

He shook his head. “It’s a shame,” he whispered, dragging his knuckles over my nipples.

I was starting to feel really exposed. “What’s a shame,” I asked breathlessly.

He shook his head again. “A shame I have to cover this up at all. God, Stevie, I want to take you to bed.”