The Rocker Who Wants Me (The Rocker... Series) (13 page)

“Anthony-”

“Axton,” I automatically corrected her. “I never wanted to be Anthony. He was the boy you wanted to control like a marionette. I’m Axton, the man who lives his own life by his own rules.” I stood and gave her the disdainful glare she had been dishing out from the time I could remember. “Goodbye, Mother.”

Dallas

Stop acting like a hick, Dallas Diana. Winners don’t drop their g’s. Shoulders back. Eyes forward. No. No. NO. How can you be so
stupid
? That walk is nothing like we have been practicing. Do it again. Again, Dallas Diana, or I will get the brush.

One of my mother’s rants as she had forced me to practice for her stupid pageants was shouting through my head and I couldn’t get away from it. God, I thought I had gotten over all her shit, but with just a few well-hit catty remarks I was reliving the hell my mother had made of my life.

I’d only started dropping my g’s like the hick my mother—and now Sharon Huntington—had called me just to piss my mother off. It was small, almost petty things like that that had helped me keep my sanity as I was forced through one beauty pageant after another. It didn’t matter to my mother that I would rather be reading a book or that I had no desire to be the next Miss America.
That
was Janessa’s dream and because she had never considered herself beautiful she had forced me to compete so she could live vicariously through me.

When I won Miss Teen USA at fourteen, my mother had been the happiest I’d ever seen her. Within a year I was in Paris modeling while she practically starved me so that she could live her fucking dream. The day I met Harper I’d finally started to feel what it was like to have someone accept me wholeheartedly.

So why was I letting some douche bucket make me feel like I wasn’t good enough? I glared out the window of my dad’s truck as he drove toward Wroth’s farm, mad at myself for letting anything that cunt monkey had said about me get to me. I’d been taking it all with a grain of salt until she had said she would have rather seen her son with Gabriella-fucking-Moreitti. The girl who had studied at Julliard from the time she was a kid. The girl who didn’t have a tattoo or a piercing to be seen. The perfect daughter-in-law for Sharon Huntington, or as perfect as it was going to get where her son was concerned.

It brought home the fact that I was never going to be
the one
for Axton. He loved Gabriella, while I had only ever been a distraction to pass the time until he got her back. Now that it looked like he was never going to do that, I suddenly felt like I was second best. That was why Axton had been so affectionate over the last three weeks. I knew he had been trying to win me over by taking it slow, and stupid me, I’d been falling even deeper for the rock god. With Gabriella in love with someone else, I was the consolation prize.

Well, fuck that. Fuck Sharon Huntington. Fuck. Axton.

No way was I going to let this get me down. No way was I going to run and hide with my tail tucked between my legs like that bitch had wanted me to do. By the time my dad pulled to a stop in front of the three-story house, I was seriously pissed off.

Austin turned the truck off and turned in his seat to look at me in the back seat. I’d been pushed into his truck along with Tink when we had left Huntington Estate. I hadn’t objected because I’d wanted as far away from that fucking place as quickly as possible. “Dallas, don’t let what that piece of filth said get in your head. She doesn’t know you, and sadly for her, she never will. You are the strongest, smartest, most amazing girl in the world. I love you, darlin’.”

I forced a smile for my dad. “Thanks, Daddy. I love you, too. And don’t worry. I’m not going to let what she said bother me. Right now I’m mad as hell, but I’ll get over it. I just want to take a shower and be alone right now. Is that okay?”

“Of course it is. You take care of you, darlin’. Tink and I will get Raad and the horses moved. What do you want me to do with Raad, though? I could have him taken to a stable in New York so you can see him more often?”

“I don’t know yet, Daddy. Let’s talk about it later. I might even decide to go back to Texas. I don’t have anything holding me to New York at the moment. I can find a job there just as easily as I can there.” I needed a change of scenery anyway. Going home would be nice.

Austin’s face lit up. “Darlin’ you let me know what you want to do and if you do decide that Texas is where you want to be, I’ll find you a house. Or if you want to live on the ranch, I’ll build you a house. Anything you want, it’s yours.” He glanced over at Tink. “It would be nice having my girls together like that.”

When Tink raised her hand to cup my dad’s cheek I couldn’t help but suddenly feel jealous of the love I saw shining out of both their eyes. Damn it, I wanted someone to look at me like that. “Whatever makes you happy, my love.”

I cleared my throat. “I’ll let you guys know. For now I have to get through three months of rocker bullshit.” I leaned forward and kissed my dad’s cheek. “Love you, Daddy.”

“Love you as big as the sky, darlin’. Take care of yourself.”

I promised him I would, and then hugged Tink a little awkwardly before climbing out of the truck. As my father pulled away I waved one last time before walking up the steps to the porch. Natalie and Linc were standing there watching me, having gotten back with Zander just a few minutes before me, while Devlin had driven back the truck I had taken over to Huntington Estate.

“There are storms in those eyes, Dallas,” Linc said with a sigh. “How about some spaghetti?”

I rolled my eyes at him. Spaghetti was Linc’s idea of a pick-me-up for any bad mood. It had worked wonders for Harper when she had to deal with her mother and stepsister’s crap. For me I needed something with a little more kick to it. Maybe some José or even some Jack. But since I had a job to do, getting sloshed wasn’t going to happen. Not tonight at least.

“I would love a bowl of spaghetti,” I told my friend as I walked into his open arms without the slightest hesitation. As big and strong as Linc was, I had never been scared of him a day in my life. When his big, strong arms wrapped around my small waist, I closed my eyes and tried to let my anger go. There was nothing like a hug from Linc Spencer.

When another pair of arms wrapped around me from behind, a giggle escaped me and I turned my head to kiss Natalie on the cheek. She wasn’t my Harper, but she would do. I loved Natalie just as much as I loved Lana and considered her just as much a part of my crazy family. Surprisingly the giggle relieved some of the pressure around my heart and I held on a little tighter to Linc for a few more seconds.

Axton

I didn’t go back to the farm right away. Maybe I didn’t want to answer questions from my bandmates. Or Dallas’s friends. Truthfully, it was because I didn’t know how to look Dallas in the eye and tell her how sorry I was that the woman who had brought me into the world had been such a bitch to the woman I’d been brought into the world to love.

So I just drove Wroth’s SUV around until I felt like a pussy and had to go home to face everyone. It was only just after eight when I entered the house. The first thing to catch my attention was the overpowering delicious aroma of tomatoes and garlic. The scent alone was comforting and I relaxed a little as I walked through the quiet house.

In the kitchen I found everyone, including Liam in his wheelchair, sitting at the table eating overflowing bowls of spaghetti. No one was talking because they had their mouths full. When they saw me standing in the doorway of the kitchen, everyone paused mid-chew to focus on me. Marissa didn’t even hesitate to jump to her feet and rush to the stove. “I bet you must be hungry. Come and join us. Linc made so much that I’m going to freeze some and stock the bus so that we have a few decent meals for the road.”

I took the bowl of noodles and thick, rich meat sauce and sat down at the table. There was only one seat left, between Devlin and Wroth, so I sat down and grabbed a slice of garlic bread from the basket in front of me. While I took a bite of the best freaking spaghetti I had ever had in my life, my eyes went directly to Dallas.

She shot me a quick look before turning her attention back to her food. That one look told me so much and I wasn’t sure if I could still stomach the meal in front of me. My mother had hit her mark, just as she had wanted to. How had she known that Gabriella was the key to shattering the closeness I’d worked so hard to achieve with Dallas over the last three weeks? How had she known that with a few catty sentences, she would rip open a wound that I had been nursing to heal for what felt like a lifetime?

And how the fuck was I going to fix it?

Dallas

I’d never been in a tour bus before. I know, it’s surprising considering that two of my closest friends were married to rockers. And that I had dated an actual rock god for several months.

When two mammoth buses pulled up in front of Wroth’s house, I was shocked speechless for a few minutes as I took it in. They weren’t what I had been expecting, that was for sure. I’d been expecting some crazy artwork on the buses pronouncing them OtherWorld’s sex caves. There wasn’t.

The buses were black and gray in color with no artwork in sight to scream who was on board. At least forty-five or even fifty feet long, with blacked-out windows, and growling from the power that was behind the engine, they were almost intimidating. When I followed Wroth and Marissa onto the bus that was supposed to be my home for the next three months, I was even more shocked. Maybe I was expecting shag carpets on the walls and cots to sleep on. Who knows, but reality was a far stretch from what had been in my mind.

As soon as I walked onto the bus there was a driver’s seat that was closed off from the rest of the bus with a door. Stepping through that door I came to a living room. An actual living room. Carpets on the floors, lamps on end tables, a recliner, long couch, and even a flat screen in one corner that was already on some news channel and I realized that it must have been connected to a satellite. There was a table with a cup holder on each corner as well as bench seats on each side.

Walking through the living room I came to a narrow hall with closed doors on each side. Curious, I opened the door on the right and found a pantry stocked full of nonperishable foods. Turning, I peeked inside the door behind me and found a toilet and a small sink and even a hand rail. I nearly laughed out loud thinking of traveling down the interstate going seventy miles an hour, holding onto the rail so I wouldn’t fall off the toilet while I did my business.

Past the narrow hall there was a door that I slid open and found what Liam had described to me as the roosts. Three bunks on each side with individual gray curtains covering each bed area. Sliding one of the curtains back on a middle bunk I saw that the bed was brand new and made up with white jersey sheets and a fleece blanket.

Dropping my backpack on the bed, I kept exploring. Another door stood in my way and I opened it to find a small kitchen. Very small. Just a sink, a small stove top and a huge refrigerator that took up most of the space. I shrugged and kept walking.

Another door, which I assumed was the end of the bus, took me into what was the bedroom. There was a shower in the corner with the glass frosted out to allow a little extra privacy. The bed was a twin and already made up for Liam. The rest of the room was set up as if it were a physical therapy room. All the things Linc had said he would need for Liam’s therapy had been provided along with some weights that I knew Linc would appreciate since he wouldn’t be getting his daily workout like he normally would. In the last four weeks he had resorted to running on the farm, and when it came to lifting weights, he’d started lifting random animals over his head. When that hadn’t been enough he would lift me and Natalie over his head. He had wanted to add Marissa to the pile, but Marissa had a thing about heights and was too nervous.

“What do you think?”

I turned around from examining the closet to find Linc helping Liam into the room. I gave Liam a smile that didn’t quiet reach my eyes before turning back to the closet that already had his clothes hung up inside. My smile rarely reached my eyes these days. As much as I had wanted to put Sharon Huntington’s bitchiness behind me and move on, it lingered; replacing some of my memories of my mother with fresh material to run through my head on repeat.