The Russian's Secret Baby (The Tonov Triplets Series Book 3) (4 page)

Dimitri paced his office fuming. It was bad enough that she withheld the pregnancy from him but this?

It only took a quick background check and an internet search to know what was wrong with his son. Congenital heart disease. Dimitri sat at his desk, his head in his hands. “I can’t believe this is happening,” he said. 

“I’m so sorry, boss,” Kaleb said quietly. “But congenital heart disease is treatable. Most children who have it grow up to lead normal lives.”

“How would you know? You’re not a doctor,” Dimitri snapped back. Rubbing his head in agitation, he stood up again to pace. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that but I am damn frustrated. First time I see her in three years and she has a child in her arms. How was I supposed to react after everything that happened? I should have known that there was more going on otherwise why couldn’t she raise a child on her salary? DC is expensive, but she was at the top of her game when we were together. Why the hell didn’t she call me when she first found out?”

“Probably because until yesterday you didn’t want anything to do with him.” 

“No,” Dimitri said. “That’s not the reason and we both know it. She couldn’t have known that until she showed up here. She’s the one who left me not the other way around. She didn’t tell me because she knew that I would fight much harder to be in James’s life if I knew. And damn it, that’s what’s going to happen. She can’t keep me away from him forever. He’s my son! I have every right to be in his life.”

“What exactly do you plan to fight for? Parental rights? I’d be willing to bet that your name isn’t on the birth certificate and it would be her word against yours that she didn’t try to contact you sooner. You aren’t exactly in the best line of work to raise a child, let alone one that requires medical care. Are you sure this is the best option?” Kaleb asked. “I know you care for him and you want to be a father to him, but you also want Carmine. Don’t do anything to drive her away.”

“She has been doing nothing but trying to drive me away from the start. Now is not any different.”

“But it is different. Her reasons in the beginning were a part of her past. There’s a child now. One, both of you seem willing to fight for, but at what cost? James should come first not your feelings or hers.”

Carmine came down the next morning with James, who was spouting off some gibberish, oblivious to the turmoil of feelings coming from his mother. She would be leaving today and if everything went according to plan, she would never see Dimitri again. But that didn’t fill her with relief like it should have. All she could think of was Dimitri playing with James like a father and son should do. Maybe he would make a good father after all… 

But I didn’t even tell him
.
That was for the best. It would only hurt him more to know that his son had congenital heart disease. 

Dimitri was already sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cold cereal. He smiled a thinlipped smile at her when she came down. “Good morning, Carmine. Did you sleep well?”

Carmine’s brow furrowed. He usually wasn’t so formal with her. Maybe it was because she was leaving. “Good morning,” she replied. “I did. I hope you did too.”

“It could have been better.” 

There was a black duffel bag of cash on her chair. It was identical to the one she received yesterday from him. She placed it on the floor next to her and sat down. Suddenly she wasn’t hungry for breakfast. 

“You have plenty of time to eat,” Dimitri said. “I’m afraid the car won’t be available for another hour.”

“I’m not hungry,” she said. “And I already fed James. Upstairs.” 

“Of course you did,” he said, his expression darkening. 

What is with him
?
Carmine looked down at the table, wishing she could figure out what, exactly, he was getting at. She always fed James upstairs. She had to because he needed to take his medication with his breakfast.

The silence was suddenly broken by James coughing and Carmine quickly went to pat his back. Dimitri’s expression darkened even more. “Some saliva went down the wrong tube, huh?” he asked, trying to keep the anger out of his voice.. 

Oh shit. He knows
.

Carmine took a deep breath. “Dim-”

“Oh, I don’t have that much to say to you,” Dimitri said coldly, any pretext of civility gone. “If I seem to be tired it is probably because I spent the better part of last night reading about congenital heart failure. It is the leading cause of infant deaths in America but you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Carmine sighed. “I was going to tell you”

“When, after my son was dead?”

Carmine stood up so fast her chair almost fell back. “He is not going to die! As long as you don’t try and fuck it up, he’ll be just fine.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dimitri demanded. “Why the hell would I fuck up any chance of him living? Unless just being his father would, because god forbid, I have any contact with my son.”

“It
woul
d
　
mess it up!” she said. “The treatment is experimental but the doctor says it’s his only hope. The program is highly selective. They think I don’t know who the father is, and they know I’m a single mom. If they had any idea of this… of who you are, he would be kicked out of the treatment. Dimitri, he’ll die without it.”

Dimitri stared at her for a long time without speaking. “What do you mean?” he asked.“Why does what I do for a living affect how James gets treatment?”

“This is a program run by big companies. It’s all about good press on how they are helping the world become a better place. If they knew that one of their patients was the son of a mafia boss…”

“Then it would get out that they are saving the next mafia leader, and not another poor, unfortunate soul, is that it?”  Dimitri swallowed as he slowly started to understand. 

“That’s why I needed the money. It isn’t covered by insurance and the treatments are expensive.”

“I know,” he said. “You always were good at living within your means. I figured it had to be something drastic to get you to need so much money.”

“I wouldn’t have come if there was any other way.”

“You’ve said that,” he said tersely. “Many times.” Dimitri sighed and closed his eyes. “Carmine, please let me help you. I know I can help you. If you don’t want me to be James’ father until after the treatment is complete, fine, but don’t walk away and never let me see you or my son, again. Please. I’m begging you.”

Carmine swallowed. She never thought she would see the day where Dimitri begged for anything. He never wanted to do anything that made him seem weak. But right then, there was nothing but pain in his eyes. It nearly broke her heart.

She couldn’t do it. James was her first priority and she couldn’t have him exposed to a life of crime. “I know you’re sincere,” she said. “I know now, more than ever that you would do just about anything for James, and maybe even for me but I can’t have you around my son. I want to give him his best chance in life and his best chance is away from you.”

Nothing could hurt Dimitri more than when Carmine told him with complete sincerity and sorrow that he would be a bad influence on their son. It had practically ripped him to the core like nothing he had ever known before.

He left the kitchen knowing that he needed to calm down and pull himself together, and quickly, too. He went to his room and shut the door, breathing hard. He rubbed his head as he paced the floor.  

She was right, of course. He would be a bad influence on James. There was nothing natural about growing up into a life of crime and he wouldn’t subject it to anyone, much less his own son. Some of the things he had done for his father would haunt him for as long as he lived, and he would do anything he could to spare James of that. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. He punched the wall in frustration smiling at the indentation he left. Staring at his red knuckles, he was about to hit the wall again when there was a soft knock on the door.

“Dimitri, it’s me,” Kaleb said. “Can I come in?”

“I would rather you didn’t.” 

Kaleb opened the door anyway. “And I would rather you not be alone.” He laid a hand on his boss’s shoulder and opened his mouth to say something before finding himself at a complete loss for words. 

“I cannot believe I got so attached, again. That was stupid and weak of me.”

“It’s unavoidable, Boss,” Kaleb said quietly. “You know that.”

“I could have avoided it. I never should have let her stay here. Hell, I never should have gone to her office all those years ago, and I sure as hell shouldn’t have given in to my impulses. All of this could have been avoided if I had kept my dick in my pants.”

“If it didn’t happen with Carmine, it would have happened with somebody else.” 

“I should have learned my lesson the first time. What am I supposed to do?”

Kaleb was quiet for a long time. “I don’t know but I do know that she’ll never accept you in his life so long as you remain in the businesses that you are.”

“I know that but I can’t just stop. It’s all I know.”

Carmine folded her clothes and put them in her suitcase. James was already packed with the exception of a small toy car, which he was playing with as he rolled it around on the floor. She hadn’t seen Dimitri since that morning, something she was very happy for.

Even without him physically in the room, she could see his pained expression as if it was seared on the back of her eyelids. The facade he had always had in place was completely gone and he had looked at her with unbearable pain and anger.

Yet, she had to do it. There was no way she was going to allow their son to be around a father who could easily be shot or worse by a competitor. He didn’t need to spend his childhood wondering if daddy was coming home or if he was going to miss another birthday because he was in the hospital or worse, not like she did. 

Dimitri strode into their room, as James looked up at him wide-eyed before breaking into a huge grin. Carmine couldn’t look at him. It would be too painful knowing that she was tearing him apart, again.

“The car is here to pick you up,” he said, his voice flat. “I hope you have a safe trip back to DC.”

“We will,” Carmine said. “I hope…” she steeled herself to see his pained expression and turned only to find his cool facade back in place. “I hope you can find happiness, Dimitri,” she said. “You deserve it.”

“Do not lie to me,” he said. “You do not think I deserve anything. If you did you would not be doing this.” 

“Just because I don’t want you corrupting James doesn’t mean you don’t deserve happiness,” Carmine shot back. “Everybody does on some level.”

“I would never corrupt James. Do you really think me so heartless that I would subject my own son to the same childhood I had? You are the one who left me and now you are taking my son away. Remember that when they are giving out awards for cold-hearted bitch.”

“Watch your language around him,” Carmine said sharply. “Just because your father beat you as a kid doesn’t mean you can be a jerk to everybody.”

Dimitri laughed derisively. “You really think it was the beatings that were bad, Carmine?” he ground out, rubbing the back of his neck. “Believe me, it wasn’t. It was what came after that was bad, after I gained his respect and my brothers got out. When I became his right-hand man. Tell me, Carmine, how can I not be a jerk when I had to toss children out on the street because their parents could not pay their debts to my father? How can I not be a jerk when I had to explain to sixyear-old boys that their mothers and sisters would never be back because my father took them to fill his whorehouses? My compassion was stamped out a long time ago. Any of it I still had, you destroyed the day you left me.”

“Bullshit!” Carmine shouted, completely forgetting the fact that her son was listening. “You know as well as I do that you’re better than this. I haven’t destroyed crap.” She grabbed his hand and felt a twinge of triumph when she saw his facade slip for a split second. “Come on, Dimitri don’t close yourself off like this. I can help you. James can have a father, too. But you can’t keep hurting people for your own gain.” 

Dimitri jerked his hand back, shaking his head. “I can’t stop,” he said. “It’s…it’s all I’ve ever known.”

Carmine sighed and picked up her suitcase, motioning for James to grab her hand. “Then I can’t help you.” 

***

Carmine could barely keep from crying as she and James got into Dimitri’s private car to go to the airport. James was still playing quietly with his toy car, running it over the black leather seats.
I should have known better. What was I supposed to expect from him
?

He wasn’t about to give up his livelihood for her. Why would he when he detested just about every legal way of making money? As for James… well, he had been clear on many different occasions about what he thought about personal connections. 

James started coughing and Carmine patted him on the back. She checked the time and knew it was about time for another dose of medication meant to ease the cough. She opened up her bag and rifled through it for the medication, but she couldn’t find it.

Panic seized her as she checked the side pockets but it wasn’t anywhere. Shit she must have left it at Dimitri’s. She tapped on the window separating her from the driver. “Excuse me,” she said. “Could you please go back? I forgot something at Dimitri’s.”

The driver nodded and turned around in the nearest driveway. By the time they were back at Dimitri’s house, James was coughing really badly. Carmine grabbed his hand. “Come on, sweetie,” she said. “I’ll give you something to ease that as soon as we get inside, okay?”

James nodded, not able to talk because of the hacking. They went inside and Carmine picked him up, running upstairs as fast as she could. The bottle was on the nightstand. She grabbed it and tried to open it with trembling hands. She jumped when she heard something smash and a strange man strode in from the hallway and sneered at her with a cold smile.