The Scale (Martha's Way) (30 page)

A feeling of vulnerability swept over her. Not sure what to
do with herself under the intensity of his gaze, she brushed a few curls away
from her face. He smiled at the motion.

“You’re so gone,” her sister whispered in her ear. “I won’t
say I told you so, but I did. I still love both of you though.”

With a grin, Keely walked past Minka, leaving her standing
alone under Jason’s long, hard look.

* * * *

The need to hold her was never greater. Jason pushed himself
away from the wall where he was leaning to close the space between him and
Minka. He wrapped his arms around her. Her body as always responded to his
touch and molded with his.

As he lowered his lips to hers, her body tensed for a brief
second before gradually opening herself to him. Loving how she felt in his
arms, he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss, forgetting the others in the
room.

Jason ran one palm over her back and moaned in
self-inflicted pain. The need for him to be inside her was so intense. He was
still in awe by the whole idea he could ever want someone as much as he wanted
Minka, all the time.

“You guys need a room.” Blake’s voice rang in Jason’s ears.
Instantly, he felt Minka’s body freeze before she pulled out of his arms,
ending their kiss.

“Let me show you our room,” he whispered, ignoring the urge
to punch the irritating grin off Blake’s face.

Jesus, he shouldn’t be mad at Blake. If anything, he should
be angry at Minka and he was. But more at
himself
for
falling head over heels in love with a woman whose heart belonged to another.
He needed to check his emotions.

He led her down the long corridor up the stairs to the
second level to one of the three master suites.

“The other suites are on the first level,” he said.

Minka followed him inside the room. He slowed his steps,
giving her time to take in the beauty of the room. This suite had become his
once he was no longer dependent on his mother to comfort him at night from a
nightmare.

Over the years, it had gone through many phases of
decorations to reflect where he was in his life. He looked over the understated
décor. The hardwood floor he insisted on having as a teenager. His father had insisted
that he remove the carpet himself. Jason had acquired many cuts and blisters
from that assignment, but now he stood back and smiled over the memory of the
manual labor. After countless hours of tearing apart the beige carpet, he’d
ended up covering the polished wood with two five-by-eight wool rugs.

The walls were now a muted gray color, making it easy for
Rosa’s crew to transform the mood of the space from season to season. The color
had been his pick. He had also done the labor. The painting had been easy. He
had learned enough of that from various odd jobs on the island. His father had
insisted he learn manual labor. His mother had resisted. In the end, they had
compromised. He worked half the summer and spent the other half in Europe.

He peeked at the bed. The Chesterfield bed was probably his
last purchase made for this house. It was hard to believe five years had passed
since he’d set foot in the room.

“For twenty-five years, this room was mine.”

She came to stand behind him and wrapped her arms around his
chest. He could feel her heartbeat against his back.

“It’s still yours.”

He nodded. In a way, she was right. No matter what, as long
as his father owned this compound the second level suite would always be his.

“We don’t have to stay here, Jason, if it’s too much. We
can…”

“It’s not too much. It actually feels right. It was long
past time.”

Her cheek came to rest on his back. He turned to her and
cupped her face in his hands. Her beauty struck him once more. “I’m glad you’re
here with me. It’s making it easier.”

The words were honest. Returning to the other side of the
island had been much easier than he had expected. Part of it he accredited to
having Minka with him. Much of it he attributed to the absence of his father.
It was easier to return to the home he grew up in without having Charles
hovering over him.

But his father’s presence was everywhere. Even in his own
suite, on his dresser stood a framed picture of him with his parents, the last
picture they took as a family. It had been a goofy picture orchestrated by the
professional photographer. In it, they were throwing snowballs at each other.
But even Photoshop couldn’t take away his mother’s physical deterioration.

“I’m glad I’m here with you. Thank you.”

Her words stripped him bare. Of course, he should not let
them affect him. The more he did, the harder it would be to stop
himself
from drowning in her essence.

“You’ve given me so much, Jason,” she continued.

The shyness she usually exhibited had faded away. Jason
thought of her body image. The struggle she continued to fight. As of this
morning, the scale was still on his bathroom floor back in Katama.

His fear that she might be bulimic like his mother was
quickly put to rest. Her issue was insecurity, not an obsessive need to control
something. His mother’s life had eventually spiraled out of control. Nor did Minka
go into binge eating and purging. In his presence, when relaxed she never
shunned away from a delicious meal. Because of that, he chose not to push her
about the presence of the scale.

Her problem was self-acceptance. He had learned that and had
not pushed her. Instead, in a quiet manner, he’d tried to show her how
beautiful she was to him.

“I can’t stop wanting you, Minka Greene,” he whispered
against her lips. His voice was harsh, crude to the senses with passion. He
didn’t want to think of the possibility that somehow Blake had managed to break
through the intangible blockage.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and tiptoed to place a
lingering kiss on his lips. “I want to give you all of me,” she whispered.

He knew her words were from the physical aspect of their
relationship. To be comfortably naked in front of him, she struggled with that.
Typically she preferred their lovemaking to be in the dark. But his hands knew
every inch, every curve of her and loved them.

He wondered how long she would allow this barrier between
them. But something told him she couldn’t tear it down if she tried, definitely
not in one more week. The wall had been built so high that no one could climb
it.

Chapter Twenty-One

“You can't put being
in love on a scale. Either you are or you aren't.”

Jenny Han

The soft knock on the door forced Minka to step away from
Jason, out of his grip. He made no attempt to move. With his arms crossed over
his muscular chest, he continued to study her. Feeling exposed and defenseless
under his gaze, she walked past him and opened the door to find Lily leaning
against the wall.

“Hey, you have a sec?” Lily asked, entering the room.

“Um…” She glanced at Jason.

He nodded, an indication he was okay with the disruption.

“I’ll be with the others. Come join us when you’re ready.”

With that, he walked out of the room and closed the door
behind him, leaving Minka alone with her friend. With a smile, she turned to
Lily.

“What did Adam do now?” she asked.

“I saw what you did.”

Her friend’s words caught her off-guard.
“Pardon.”

“You froze in Jason’s arms as soon as Blake spoke.”

Guilt overtook her. Was it possible the others picked it up
as well? She doubted it. No other person could read her like Lily could. Still,
the betrayal of her body was disconcerting.

With a sigh, she turned her back.

“You aren’t being fair to him,” Lily said tenderly. “Jason
is into you. If you’re not feeling the same way, you need to let him go.”

Minka turned to face her friend. With Lily she never had to
mask her feelings, whether it was confusion, elation, or pain. “Jason likes the
sex,” she admitted in a soft, somber tone.

“I’m sure he likes that too, but he really likes you. I’m
good at reading people. And I think he’s picking up on your drama.” Lily paused
and smiled sympathetically at her. “You have to let Blake go. You won’t allow
yourself to love Jason because you’re still pining over someone who is
completely in love with your twin sister.”

There was a beat of silence while she processed her friend’s
words. “Jason and I have no future.” Minka’s voice cracked with pain. Catching
herself, she inhaled and closed her eyes for a moment to regain her composure.
“And I’m letting Blake go. At least I’m trying.”

 
“For years
you’ve loved Blake. He doesn’t love you, Minka.”

Minka closed her eyes again, not shutting out the truth but
the words still stung.

“Not the way you love him,” Lily continued in a gentler
tone. “Let it go. I don’t enjoy talking to you like this,” she admitted with a
shaken smile. “I’m sorry if my words are harsh.”

With a slight nod, Minka acknowledged her friend’s apology.

“This brutal honesty thing is not my cup of tea,” Lily
whispered. “You and Jason like each other. Explore that and be mindful of his
feelings.”

On cue, they fell into each other’s arms and broke down in
laughter as warm tears started to roll down their cheeks. Minka knew her friend
words were not meant to hurt her and there was truth to them. But, how did one
let go of someone while loving another? She still had to figure that out.

When they finally pulled away, the two women chuckled as
they wiped away their tears. As they’d done on many occasions, Minka slipped
her arm through Lily’s and they walked out of the room together, her mind
preoccupied by Jason’s sudden shift of attitude earlier on the yacht. Had she
inadvertently done something to hurt him?

Then she remembered the way she’d stiffened in his arms when
Blake looked in their direction.

He knew. The man she had fallen in love with was aware of
her inner turmoil toward Blake.

The revelation brought her emotional and physical pain and
she flinched over the wretchedness her actions caused.

“You okay?” Lily asked, glancing at her before stepping out
of the house to join the rest of the group.

“Yeah.
I’ll be okay.”

They found everyone by the pool. Her sister lounged in her
tiny bikini sunbathing. As always, Keely presented a striking picture. The
barely-there material of the bikini hugged her body beautifully. Blake and Adam
were handsome in their board shorts. She couldn’t help but survey their bodies,
muscular and hard just like Jason’s.

Only Jason was still in his jeans, but he had removed his T-shirt
and appeared comfortable. As always, she was drawn to him and took pleasure in
his physique. She would never grow tired of looking at him.

“I’m going to join them. I have my bikini on under these
clothes,” Lily announced “You coming?”

“Yes, in a little while.”

Minka remained standing by the door. She watched Lily walk
over to where Keely sat and start stripping. Jason didn’t seem to notice her
friend’s actions, but Adam looked on with fascination. She didn’t blame him.
Her friend was gorgeous.

When Lily stood in a brown bikini, Adam walked over to her
side. Minka watched as his fingers went to her friend’s navel to caress the
tiny belly ring she always wore. Then he leaned over to whisper something in
her ear. Minka waited for a reaction, but instead her friend’s hand instantly
went to her flat belly. Clearly whatever Adam said had affected her.

An intense feeling of loneliness swept over Minka. Her heart
ached to be at ease with herself as the other women were. She wanted to walk
over and touch Jason, but as she watched him talking and laughing with his
friends she knew she could never belong in his circle.

Minka took in Blake’s features. He had always been so
beautiful to her, from his rich brown eyes to the warmth of his smile. For as
long as she could remember, he owned her heart, from their first hello even to
now, even knowing she had fallen in love with Jason.

She guessed nobody ever really did mean to fall in love, especially
with someone who obviously was taken mentally and physically by someone else. But
it happened, and love branded itself on the brain.

However, unrequited love, as Minka had found out, was like a
new street appearing overnight in the city you’ve lived in your whole life. The
street was one way; you couldn’t turn around and get off. That was her feelings
for Blake. She lived on a one-way street that was now also a dead end.

He was going to marry her sister, her fraternal twin. She
knew how she gotten on this street.
Back in college.
But she still needed to figure out how to escape from it.

Her eyes went back to Jason. Just as he got up to grab a
beer, she watched his inked chest. Her heart pounded with pain, but she wasn’t
sure for whom or what.
The need to let go or the need to love
someone new.
A new love that held no future, no
promises of everlasting.
Yet, her body ached for Jason. Maybe that was
enough, she told herself. Maybe that was enough to slowly move forward.

* * * *

Jason knew she was watching him. There was that side of him
that wanted to walk over and take her in his arms. And, of course, the other
part glanced over at Blake who had leaned over to kiss his fiancée. It was
obvious his friend had no clue how Minka felt, a fact that baffled him. Or if
he did, he did a good job at disregarding it, another fact that troubled him.
He had known Blake all of his life; his friend wasn’t one to take advantage or
encourage an unwanted situation.