The Second Virginity of Suzy Green (7 page)

Uh oh. Waiting
for me so she can tell me not to go to the VC again and not to talk to any of
them in future. I knew it. Things were going too well for something like this
not to happen. And it’s no-ones fault but my own for being so stupid and for
launching into act-before-thinking mode. Only when I was like this before I
couldn’t care less about the consequences.

“Oh right,” is
all I can utter as I wait for the onslaught. I focus on my shoes, unable to
look her in the face.

“Yeah. To apologize.”

My eyes shoot up
in surprise. This has got to be a joke, right? But she looks serious enough.
Why would she want to apologize? I don’t get it.

“Apologize?”

“Yes,” Lori
replies, hopping from foot to foot and looking uncomfortable. “For being so unsympathetic
on Friday. I didn’t mean to drive you away. I felt awful all weekend. I
couldn’t phone because I went away with my parents and didn’t get back until
late last night. So I decided to wait for you this morning.”

I shake my head
and pinch myself for good measure—just to make sure I’m not dreaming. Lori is apologizing
to me, after the complete dick I made of myself with Guy and everything. I
think I’ve entered a parallel universe.

“No worries,” I
say. “My behavior wasn’t exactly cool. Especially after I got all silly with
Guy. I don’t suppose he’ll be talking to me much after that.”

“No, you’re
wrong. He felt as badly as I did. He said so when we were at my house later.”

“Oh.”

So I was Friday
night’s cabaret, despite being nowhere near the place. I don’t know whether to
laugh or cry. Well, that does it. There’s no way I can face Guy today.

“Hey, Guy. Over
here,” shouts Lori over my shoulder.

Crap.

“Hey, you two,” Guy
says grinning at both of us.

How does he
manage to look so hot at this time of day? I daren’t even think about what my
hair’s doing at the moment.

“Hi.” I smile
then turn back to Lori. “Sorry, I’ve got to go to the library before first
period. See you in class. Save me a seat. See you, Guy.”

I know, running
away isn’t the most mature thing to do but there’s only so much a girl can take
first thing on a Monday morning; and an apology from Lori and finding out what
she and Guy, and probably loads of others, have been saying about me is more
than enough for anyone. I pick up my bag from the ground and throw it over my
shoulder before striding away like a girl on a mission.

“Suzy, wait.”
The sound of Guy’s voice echoes in my ears. Now, I have two choices. I can
either stop and wait or play it cool and pretend I didn’t hear him.

“Hurry up then,”
I call over my shoulder. Okay, so playing it cool isn’t the preferred option
today. “I don’t have much time.”

“I’ll walk with
you to the library. I’ve a book to take back.”

As we head
toward the main school building I notice out the corner of my eye that we’re
walking in step. It’s so sweet when that happens. I reckon it’s a sign. It
means we’re on the same wave length and we have a great future together. Okay,
maybe I’m being a little optimistic here. But it’s definitely a sign. And
Maddie will agree. She’s into signs in a big way.

“I can take the
book back. Save you having to go all the way.” Which isn’t so daft as it
sounds, because it’s just dawned on me that if he’s with me I’ll have to find
something to do once we get there. Though I could get a book out for the bio
assignment we’re doing next. Mine’s on snails—how exciting is that?

“No worries.” He
flashes a leg wobbling smile. You’d think I’d be used to it by now. But, no. My
heart is now pitter-pattering all over the place. I haven’t felt this way
since—well, just since. And I refuse to think of him now, and how stupid I was.

“Good weekend?”
I ask, then inwardly kick myself for forgetting that in theory Friday night
counts as part of the weekend.

“Okay. You?”

“Um. Not
really.” Don’t be pathetic. “Well, what I mean is, fairly quiet. Hung out at
home.” If he didn’t think me boring before, he certainly will now.

“I missed you on
Friday night at Lori’s.”

I stop dead in
my tracks causing Guy to stumble over my foot. I think we must have got out
step without me realizing.

“You did?”
Breathe. In, out. In, out. I am calm. I will not make a complete dick of
myself. “That’s nice.”

That’s nice? Shut
up. Shut up. Shut up.

“Yeah. There was
something I wanted to ask you.” A sort of weird, nervous look crosses his face.
I bet he’s going to ask me to keep well clear of him at the next VC meeting
unless I can tone down my behavior. Well, I’ve almost definitely decided that
in deference to my sanity I’m going to give the club a wide berth. So it won’t
be an issue.

“Oh. What’s that
then?” I raise a nonchalant eyebrow, not wanting to give the impression that I
care. Can eyebrows be nonchalant? I like to think so. But I’ll check it out
later when I get home and have access to a mirror.

“Um—I—um.”
What’s going on? Guy lost for words. No, that can’t be right. You know, I swear
he’s blushing.

“What?” I say, a
little harsher than intended.

His mouth
closes. Ooops. That’s blown it. I guess he won’t be asking me anything.

Scratch that. The corners of his mouth are
twitching. It looks like he’s going to say something after all.

“Sorry.
I-just-wanted-to-ask-if-you-fancied-going-to-the-movies-sometime-this-week?” he
asks in a garbled rush.

I think I’ve
died and gone to heaven. Guy has asked me to the movies. Despite my Friday
night behavior. I can’t wait to tell Maddie. This is the best thing to happen
in ages. I can’t believe it. I clench my fists at my side. I am not going to
let them wave about in excitement. In case he retracts the invitation.

“Yeah, sure.” A
good response. Keen but not
over
keen.

“Great.
Wednesday?”

Wednesday. I’m
sure I’ve got to go somewhere on Wednesday but I can’t remember what it is. Oh
well, it can’t be that important if I’ve forgotten about it already.

“It’s a date.”
No. No. No. Why did I use the word date? It’s like something my mother would
say. And  even if I do use that word, which I don’t, did he say anything about
it being a date? No. So why did I see fit to call it that? Because I’m a stupid
idiot that’s why. “I don’t mean date, in that way. I mean date as in date like
for a meeting or something.” Shut the hell up.

Guy stands there
shaking his head and laughing. “Suzy, you’re so funny. That’s why I like you so
much. Call it what you like, I don’t mind.”

You know, Maddie
couldn’t be more wrong when she says someone like Guy would be up themselves.
In fact I hate to say this but he’s almost too nice. Not that I mind. Nice is
okay. And it’s sweet that he’s being like this. There’s a lot of guys I know
who could learn a lot from him.

***

“If you say you
wear this I’ll just die,” says Lori as she stops flicking through my closet and
pulls out my favorite long black skirt.

When I told her about
going out with Guy she insisted on coming back with me from school to check out
my closet. By the time I remembered about all my previous-life clothes hanging
in there it was too late, she’d already opened the door and was rifling
through. If she spots the Doc Martens she’ll really have me down as a freak.

The best way to
describe the way Maddie and I dress is that we’re on the fringes of Goth. Or in
my case, I was on the fringes of Goth. When we moved I got Mom to take me
shopping for some ‘normal’ clothes. I figured that however painful dressing
normally might be, it’s certainly a necessity if I’m to achieve my goal.

“Only for
costume parties,” I say quickly moving to where she’s standing and taking the
skirt from her and putting it to the back of the closet, surreptitiously
grabbing a couple of Green Day t-shirts in the process.

I angle myself
between her and the closet and pull out a load of recently purchased clothes
and take them over to the bed where I spread them out.

“Hmm,” Lori
says, while she rests her chin in her hand and frowns. “If it was just the
movies I’d say go with these pants and this shirt.” She picks up my new green
skinny jeans and white kaftan. “But say he takes you somewhere after. Maybe
something a bit—,” she pauses. “Ah ha. This is perfect.” She holds up my pink
and silver stripy singlet—that I’ve yet to wear, as it’s sooooo pink. “With
this over the top.” This being my white wrap-around top.

“Okay. More to
the point what about my hair? Up, down, straight, curly, hat?”

Lori burst out
laughing. “Hat. That’s so funny. I love it down and curly.”

What is this
girl on? Down and curly? She must be kidding. Only in my worst nightmare do I
see a guy for the first time with my hair down and curly. Not that I’ve been
out with loads of guys. Anyway, that aside, when has Lori ever seen my hair
like that? We have to wear it up for school. So she can hardly comment.

“Thanks for the
advice, but important occasions like this definitely don’t get the down and
curly treatment. Sleek and straight, with a lot of effort on my part, is
probably what I’ll go for. Unless I don’t have enough time then I’ll put it
up.”

“Whatever. Tell
me about other guys you’ve seen. Have you ever been tempted to—you know—do it?”
She perches on the end of my bed and fixes me with a baby-blue eyed stare. No,
I am not jealous of her blond hair and blue eyes. Absolutely not. No way.

I shuffle
awkwardly and start to fiddle with the button on the side of my school skirt.

“Not tempted
exactly.” Liar. Liar. Butt’s on fire. “Just a bit of over-the-clothes
fumbling.” My mouth’s all dry and I’m struggling to get the words out. “You
know.” Not that she probably will know, if she follows the guidelines in the
handbook.

“I’m sooooo
pleased.” She is? Nah. She’s being facetious. “I’ve done that too and I’ve been
feeling really guilty about it.” My jaw drops and I have to force my mouth to
close to stop the goldfish impression. “You know what Jamie says. If you start
doing stuff like that it becomes much easier to take the next step. We must
resist, like the virgin handbook says.”

“Virgin on the
ridiculous handbook, if you ask me,” I quip. Lori frowns. “I don’t mean the
handbook is rubbish,” I hastily add. “What I mean is it seems like everything
is all or nothing but I think you just have to be sensible.”

“How sensible?”

“We’re told not
to touch anyone, right? To me, that implies we have no self control. Which is
crap. We’re perfectly capable of knowing when to say no. And that doesn’t mean
we can’t hold someone’s hand or, dare I say it, even kiss them.”

You know Lori
might be Miss Popular here, but she wouldn’t last five seconds at my old
school. She’s naive and immature in so many ways. No wonder she thinks Janey
North is the biggest slapper of all time. When in reality Janey’s no different
from Maddie and me.

“I guess.” She
doesn’t look convinced. Hardly surprising I suppose, seeing as I’m new and she’s
had months of Jamie’s indoctrination.

“Trust me.” Ha
ha. That’s a joke. “So who’s this guy you fumbled with? Anyone I know?”

“George. He’s in
our Classics class. We went out for a while, until the club started and he
wouldn’t join so I finished it. Jamie says we shouldn’t go out with anyone who
isn’t prepared to take the pledge. It will only put pressure on us.”

Jamie. Jamie.
Freakin’ Jamie. That man. Talk about prize brain washer.

“Yeah, I know
him. He seems a nice guy. And definitely hot. Shame you had to finish. You
couldn’t persuade him to join then?”

“I nearly did,
then he came to a meeting, heard Jamie and said he wasn’t going to be told how
to live his life by some wannabe do-gooder.”

You go, George.
A boy after my own heart.

“Poor you. Yet
you decided to stay a member. Why?”

A pensive
expression crosses her face.

“If I tell you
promise you won’t say anything.”

“Promise.”

“Um—well. You
see—I’m—well. It’s like this. I’m—-”

“Lori. Just say
it. This is me you’re talking to.”

God knows what
she’s going to say but she’s redder than the cushions on my bed.

“Okay,” Lori
says. She stands up and walks toward the closet, keeping her back to me. “I
know you’re going to laugh but at the time the main reason I joined was so I
wouldn’t have to have sex. The thought really scared me. And I wanted not to
have to think about it until I’m older.”

That’s so sad.
Then again, I might have thought that if it hadn’t been for you know who.
Actually, no. I wouldn’t have thought it.

“That’s okay.
Lots of girls feel like that.” Okay, I’ve no idea if that’s true or not. But I
can’t let the poor girl feel like such an idiot.