The Secret Keeping (31 page)

“Drove.”

Drove? Well, that was possible, she guessed. She hadn’t noticed a car, but perhaps she had been sleeping and missed it. Nice voice. Very nice. Helaine stood free of the door. “I can pay you for your trouble,” she said, taking her eyes off her to scout around for her purse. There it was over there. The woman began walking toward her again.

“Can you?” the woman asked, now only a few feet away.

She was a dead ringer. Robert and Kay must have put their backs into it, Helaine thought. “That’s close enough–please.” The woman stopped short. “I can’t do this with you,” Helaine explained one more time.

“Why?”

“I can’t. I have someone.”

The woman dropped her arms to her side. “Where are they?”

Where? (Good question.) “How much?” Helaine asked, wallet in hand, butterflies in stomach.

The woman put her hands on her hips. “For what?”

“For…?”

“What?”

“For your trouble?”

The woman laughed gently. “No trouble, darling.”

Darl– “Say that again?”

The woman pushed her hair from her eyes. “No trouble.”

Helaine moved closer to see her face, but the light was still directly behind the woman and there was no other light source in the guest house. “I’m not–I–how much should I pay for you? To go, I mean?” The woman was an arm’s length away, close enough to touch.

“Whatever you like.”

Helaine withdrew all the cash from her billfold and offered it to her. “Go. Please.”

The woman put her hand to her breast. “Slip it in here…please.”

There? Helaine could see that. She exhaled. “And then you’ll go?”

“Yes.”

Helaine rolled up the bills and hesitated. She shouldn’t touch this woman. She shouldn’t let their skin meet. She shouldn’t even be standing in the same room with her. The money was poised in her hand. She shouldn’t be negotiating anything in the dark with this woman who reminded her of someone she missed.

She inched closer. “Let me see your face.”

The woman lightly clucked her tongue. “Why?”

“What is your name?”

The woman sighed provocatively. “It matters?”

Helaine fell silent. This was Robert’s fault, weak knees and that she was wondering where Lydia Beaumont actually was this moment and why they were not together and how similar their separation was to her last dissatisfying relationship, the one biting her ass now like a rabid dog, keeping them apart for too long, so that a woman like this one, someone masked in Lydia’s likeness–

“Does it?” the woman repeated.

Does it matter? That they look the same? Sound the same? Helaine felt herself leaning forward.

“Hmmm?”

She should not ask or answer anymore questions. She should not get any closer to that mouth or those breasts. She should not entertain anymore conversation. She should go and find a light bulb, leave the money by the door. She should unpack her bags. And take a shower. And go to bed. She was tired. She should sleep.

Sleep instead of standing there like a dope, face to face with this woman, the money dropping from her fingertips.

The woman bent slightly toward her. The money disappeared between her breasts. Behind her Helaine saw the discarded dress lying in the middle of the floor. She brought her face close to the woman’s cheek.

Even the perfumed hair smelled familiar.

Her hand was on her hand. Her lips were near her lips. “Darling,” she whispered, as they dropped to the floor.

“Ah…you’re a very difficult customer, Dr. Kristenson. You had me worried. Should I stay or should I go?”

Helaine kissed her and she opened her legs.

“That was very risky behavior, Ms. Beaumont.”

“Risqué. You’re shaking.”

“Pleased with yourself?”

“Very. Make love to me–quickly.”

“Let me breathe a minute first or it won’t be love you’ll be getting.”

Lydia turned her face into Helaine’s neck. “What would it be instead?”

“Something akin to it–did I pay you enough for your trouble?”

Lydia bent her legs and held her tight between them. “Akin to love? Am I in trouble here, I hope?”

“Indeed, you might be. Have I paid my lovely courtesan enough for her trouble?”

Lydia held her closer. “Yes–trouble me.”

_____

Helaine was awake by nine with a note on her pillow. Her courtesan was taking a morning swim. She threw on a pair of khakis, a turtleneck and loafers, grabbed a heavy bathrobe and waited for Lydia on the deck with Kay and Robert.

“You told her to jump in the lake? I hope she knows that’s only a pond.”

“Robert, that was terrifying last night, I’ll have you know.”

“Coward.”

“You figured it out by morning, I hope,” Kay asked, suddenly alarmed by the other possibilities.

“I figured it out soon enough.” She held her hand to shield her eyes and watched the woman on the water. “Do you think she makes a habit of this?”

“Prostitution?” Robert asked.

“NO. Grueling exercise?”

“Same difference. I’m making steak and eggs. That’ll get her hormone levels back up for tonight.” He left them smiling.

“What kind of lover is she, Helaine? I’m just being nosy, I know.”

How is Lydia in the sack? “It would be rude of me to answer that. What do you think?”

Kay looked thoughtfully at the water. “Straight, right?”

Helaine laughed. “Not anymore she’s not.”

“Well, but before she was. So I’m going to say careful. How’s that description?”

How’s careful? Lydia was heading back to them, slicing through the water and leaving a glittering wake behind her. It was a crisp morning on the mountain and the water was as bright blue as the sky, as blue as the eyes of the woman swimming in it. Helaine wished the weekend would last forever. She needed more time with her new lover, more than just the few moments they had been together. They needed a month in bed.

How was she in bed? Routine question. Helaine stared out into the water. Shy Lydia Beaumont.

Thankfully not anywhere near as shy in bed, although somewhat cautious on top. Helaine smiled at the thought of it, forgetting Kay for the moment.

It was clear Lydia was in love with her. She could hear it in her breathing, in the soft whispers and sighs.

She could taste it in her mouth, on her tongue. It was always on her lips, when they talked, when they kissed.

Always in her eyes. Deep sexual love.

“Where did you get a body like this?” Lydia murmured last night.

“Hah…you like my dimensions?”

“You are a goddess.”

“Mmmmm…thank you. Which one?”

“All of them. All of them.”

That voice.

“Come for me, Helaine.”

The long forgotten orgasm. Love in her bed once more. Getting lucky with Lydia. She came for her.

“More. One more time for me.”

Coming in soft focus. Helaine watched Lydia swim, her steady even strokes hitting the water and propelling her back to the shore. Her back, her arms, her legs, every motion executed with an eye toward perfection. Out there was the woman who sucked at her nipples this morning like they were sweet hard candies, who played with her body like it was fine finger food and then held her as she slept. She was a careful woman, parting the water carefully with her hands, everything under control, perfectly disciplined. But there was more and Helaine wanted it all. She held her breath; Lydia swam.

“Share, Helaine. You should see your face right now!”

They needed more time together. Hiding and being hunted like a dog was hardly conducive to a developing romance. She thought about Sharon Chambers then and rued the day she had met her. “Careful is appropriate,” she finally answered. “That’s a very good word.”

“Must be nice,” Kay said in return. “Especially after–” she put her hand over her mouth and stopped herself from saying it.

Lydia was almost to the pond’s edge. Helaine held up her robe. “How’s the water?”

“Absolutely perfect!”

_____

“I need to–can you do it like this?” Lydia straddled her on the chair and thrust her hips forward, pushing Helaine inside her and emitting a small gasp.

“I can try,” Helaine said, readjusting herself. “Need to what, darling?”

Lydia pumped her hips and sighed. “To talk,” she said and fell silent for awhile, her head resting against Helaine’s, her body shuddering. “There,” she whispered urgently, “There.”

“I have it?”

“Mmmm…”

Helaine felt her tighten. “About?”

Lydia moaned and grasped the back of the chair.

Helaine shifted her weight. “You’re doing all the work, I fear.”

“Mmmm.”

“Is this all right?”

Lydia sighed. “You’re a miracle. But…then…you probably know that.”

Helaine pulled her closer and let her finish. She could feel her fingers pressing into the flesh of her shoulders, hear the sound of an orgasm hidden amongst the short gasps. When she was done she lifted her head up and Helaine held her in her arms, her mouth at her breasts. “Tell me.”

Lydia leaned into the moist mouth and pulled away again. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“This?”

“Uh, no, Helaine. Not this.”

“Hide, you’re saying?”

“I can’t be with you and then without. When will I see you again?”

Helaine quietly ran her hands down the strong thighs. The complaint was overdue.

“I spoke to my mother this week. About you, Helaine.”

“Oh?” Inevitable. “And she thinks I’ve led you astray?”

Lydia scoffed behind her. “She would really like to meet the woman who seduced her daughter.”

“That’s all she said? You told her everything?”

“Most of it.”

Helaine frowned. It was unlikely to impress Mrs. Beaumont, considering what she had learned about the woman. She could suddenly see herself in a different light. Quite an unflattering one. “What else did she say, Lydia?”

Lydia sat up and put her hands through the blond hair, her mouth against a concerned brow. “She has her opinions. She’s entitled to them, I’d say.”

“What do you think? Is Marilyn right?”

Lydia sighed. “You look quite smart in that black turtleneck, Dr. Kristenson. Like a spy. Makes me weak for some reason. How would a therapist interpret that?”

Helaine smiled. “I love you. You believe me?”

“I do.”

“She said what that makes you wonder? Do you want to discuss it?”

Lydia toyed thoughtfully with the turtleneck. Rolled it up. Rolled it down. “Will you go back to your super-model, Helaine? Is that ultimately how a situation like this gets resolved?”

“Lydia? You have to believe me. The more I’m with you–”

“Tell me when I’ll see you again. Tell me what we’re doing. That’s what I need to know. I need to know when I can freely see you. When will that be, Helaine? When can I ask you how your day went, meet you for dinner, that kind of boring stuff?”

“Boring?”

“Boring, I suppose, compared to the charismatic Sharon Chambers.”

“Lydia. Which do you want me to answer? You ought to know you’re fabulous in bed. I’ve never been happier.” She held her by the arms. “How was your week? When do you want to have dinner? Nothing about those things could bore me. Tell me now how your week went, Lydia. Tell me that this was the best part of it.” She could hear the panic in her voice and fell silent.

“I have no intention of being the other woman, Dr. Kristenson. Is that what I am here?”

“Oh, Lydia.”

“Okay. But do we know what we’re doing, Helaine? It wasn’t easy for me to–I hate to see myself hiding like this. It makes me doubt myself. And I hate to make mistakes. I don’t think you know that about me, but it’s relevant. I don’t want this to be a mistake I can’t live with.”

“Is it?”

“No. Not yet.”

Helaine studied her face. “What do you want out of this?”

Lydia laughed acidly. “Out of this? You need me to say it?”

“I do.”

“I want Sharon-fucking-Chambers out of this. Right now.”

“I thought she was, Lydia, or I wouldn’t–is this why you’re leaving so soon?”

Lydia left her lap and started dressing. “I promised Mom I’d make Sunday brunch today,” she said hastily buttoning herself. “She’s on my way home.” She threw her bag on the bed, tossed her clothes into it, and tried to force the catch. “You don’t have to worry about my mother. I can’t remember the last time she had an influence on me.”

(Yah.) Helaine stood in the doorway and smiled bleakly. The Beaumont women having a little get together. There was something frightening in the prospect. “Let me help,” she said, without commenting.

She closed the bag and set it on the floor.

Lydia stood beside her luggage, her jaw suddenly hard.

Helaine leaned into her, weightless. “You can if you want, Lydia–throw me down. I don’t mind. Just don’t leave me unsure.”

“Throw you…?” Lydia brought her hands to her forehead and dropped them to her sides again, turning her face away. “I just love you, Helaine. Come. It’s all right. Walk me to the car. I have to say goodbye to Robert and Kay.”

Neither one made a move.

“Lydia…Robert is very competent, I can assure you. He’ll take care of this as quickly as possible. Tell her that for me, Lydia. Look at me.”

Lydia turned to face her.

“Things aren’t always as they appear. Tell your mother that, too.”

“Okay. I will. And you tell me, when will I see you again?” She slid her arm around Helaine’s waist, unzipped her pants and slipped her hand inside them. “Ah…you like me. When?”

Helaine took a deep breath and shut her eyes. She was falling. Lydia prevented her from lying down.

“I don’t know,” Helaine murmured.

“Say soon then.”

Helaine leaned against her. “Soon.”

Lydia zipped her up and grabbed the suitcase.

_____

“Slow,” Lydia said, as she was pulling out of the Keagans’ driveway.

“What?” Helaine asked.

“My week. You asked how it went.”

Helaine nodded and waved.

“This was the best part of it,” Lydia called. She honked the horn just before her descent and Helaine crossed her arms and smiled, content for the moment.

Back in the guest house Lydia had left another note on the pillow. This time it was stuffed with money.