The Secret to Lying (8 page)

The jaws of darkness do devour it up;
So quick bright things come to confusion.

—
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM, ACT 1, SCENE 1

GUSTS OF COOL AIR SHOT
like adrenaline through my veins, laced with the leaf-burning, pumpkin-smashing, apple-fermenting scent of fall. Fall’s my favorite season. I always feel more alive then, as if, on some primal level, my body knows it’s my last chance to run wild before winter. I think everyone feels that a little. We’re like stags bucking horns. I guess that’s why football season’s in the fall — the ancient autumnal need to bash heads. Except ASMA didn’t field a football team. Soccer was our only fall sport.

I wasn’t much into watching soccer, but sometimes I went to games to be outside and get rowdy with the crowd. ASMA usually lost in every sport except chess. Nonetheless, it was fun to taunt the opposing teams. Nothing like a stand full of geeks shouting, “That’s all right. That’s okay. You’re gonna work for us someday,” to piss off visiting jocks.

Our cheerleaders were especially talented. Since the administration had banned all “inappropriate” cheers, they took to making up cheers that no one except geeks would understand. Things like “FORGET DEFENSE. DE-FENESTRATE!” Or “KICK THEIR
G-L-U-T-E-U-S M-A-X-I-M-U-S.
” Then the cheerleaders would shout, “GLUTEUS!” And the crowd would shout, “MAXIMUS!”

Keep in mind, this is a school where the administration had chosen quarks as our mascot. Chants of “TAKE THEM TO THE ABATTOIR!” were as close as we could get to being rowdy without getting in trouble. We might not have been good at sports, but the fact that the opposing team needed a dictionary to figure out what we called them gave a certain satisfaction.

The day my old high school came to play our soccer team, I almost didn’t go. I worried that someone from my hometown might recognize me, and I didn’t want anyone from ASMA to find out about who I used to be. Besides, I liked that I’d vanished from my old school without an explanation. I pictured kids who’d once sat next to me in Algebra spending their days wondering where I’d gone. Maybe Kinsey Jackson regretted not giving me an
H.
Maybe she worried that I’d died or that she’d missed her chance with me and now I’d moved to someplace better.

Through the open window of my dorm room, I heard the crowd chanting, “
T-R-O-G-L-O-D-Y-T-E-S!
THAT’S RIGHT. GO HOME, YOU TROGLODYTES!” and I felt a little proud. Since it was a Friday, everyone was at the game. Being the only guy left in my dorm started to depress me. I finally put on my coat, messed up my hair, and headed for the field.

The first half was nearly over by the time I reached the stands. Dickie and Heinous were in their usual seats, heckling the athletes. Sunny sat with Dickie, and Katy and Sage were on her other side. I spotted Ellie in the stands as well, sitting with the beautiful people, but I did my best to ignore her as I walked up the bleachers.

I sat next to Heinous. He kept standing and pulling up his shirt to expose his nipple every time the goalie looked over. “Yeah, baby,” he said. “Watch it. You’re under my nipple power. Oh, yeah. Can’t stop looking over, can you?”

At halftime, people wandered around to get sodas and flirt. Dickie and Sunny were having a tickle war. Heinous bragged about how he should get a varsity letter, since his nipple had scored our only goal. I watched the players from my old high school eat orange slices while being lectured by their coach. I knew the names of almost everyone on their team.

At the start of the second half, Jessica Keen and Rachel Chang sat in front of us, so close that Jessica’s back almost touched my knees. She looked wickedly cute in a black skirt, fishnet stockings, boots, and an old army coat. Dickie leaned over and gave me a sly grin. “She’s into you,” he whispered.

“Yeah, right,” I whispered back. “She’s a junior.”

I tried to pretend that I wasn’t interested, but my eyes kept drifting over to her. I imagined what it would feel like to brush my fingers along the slope of her neck down to the hem of her loose-collared shirt. Then I remembered the tattoo I’d glimpsed between her breasts, and I wondered what it said and what she thought of me and if she might be ghost44.

A few days earlier, I’d told Dickie and Heinous about the mysterious messages I’d received. They got a kick out of trying to guess who might be sending them. Heinous thought it was Frank Wood. “I bet it’s a guy,” he said. “That’s why he wants to keep things secret.”

After the game, Jessica turned and smiled at Dickie and me. “Hey, sophlings,” she said. “What are you up to?”

I was too stunned to speak. Luckily, Dickie took over and invited everyone back to our wing to play a game. We filtered out of the stands and headed for our dorm, walking past the teams scattered on the sidelines, gathering their things.

“James!” someone shouted. I spotted George Kaplanski, a guy I’d known since kindergarten, staring at me. He raised his dark eyebrows. “James Turner?” he repeated, sounding less certain.

Jessica and Rachel were a few feet ahead. They didn’t seem to have noticed George’s calls. I paused. In all the years I’d gone to school with George Kaplanski, I don’t think he’d ever once said my name. Part of me wanted to go back and talk with him, but if I did, I might lose my chance with Jessica.

I kept walking, hurrying to catch up to the others.

George didn’t call my name again.

The girls had to get passes to come into our wing. Katy and Sage claimed they needed to go back to their dorm to pack since they were going home for the weekend, but Sunny, Rachel, and Jessica all signed in for half-hour passes. Mike, the RC on duty, eyed us suspiciously and reminded us to keep four feet on the floor and the door propped open at all times so he could make sure no one was breaking the rules. Whenever Mike patrolled the halls, he’d shout “No babies! No babies!” as he walked, which was his way of promoting the school’s abstinence policy.

Jessica suggested playing hide-and-seek. I propped open the door to our room and Heinous did the same with his so we’d have more places to hide. Dickie volunteered to be It, probably so he could chase Sunny. The two of them had become an official “serious thing.” Dickie even had notches on his bedpost from how many times they’d done it. I knew that’s what the notches were for, although I’d never actually asked. Sex seemed only theoretically possible to me, the way walking on the moon or becoming president was possible.

I snuck off to my room and hid in my closet. Each room had two freestanding closets that could be locked. Jessica followed and slipped into the closet after me.

“Got you,” she said.

“You’re not It,” I replied.

“Really?”

I pushed my shirts back against the wall, giving us more room to stand. Still, it was impossible to keep from touching. “You aren’t avoiding me, are you?” she asked. A sliver of light streamed through the crack between the doors, illuminating one side of her face.

“No,” I said. “Why would I avoid you?”

“Fee . . . fi . . . fo . . . fum,” called Dickie from somewhere out in the room.

We tried to be quiet, but he must have known where we were. Instead of opening the closet and tagging us, Dickie jammed the door shut and fiddled with the latch.

“Shit!” I said, shoving the door.

A moment later, I heard the padlock click shut. Dickie drummed on the closet. “You two behave,” he said.

“Hey, wait!” I called, but it was too late. He’d already run off to find someone else. I glanced at Jessica. “Sorry. He’s kind of . . .”

Jessica put her finger to my mouth. Then she kissed me, biting my lip in a way that stung and made me shiver all at once. “There,” she said. “Your move.”

My arms trembled. I tried to remember how to kiss from that truth-or-dare game I’d played in middle school, but this was completely different. Jessica kissed like she wanted to devour me. I leaned toward her, not sure if I should open or close my eyes or how to turn my head.

“Like this,” she said, pulling me against her. She kissed me so gently I could barely feel her lips brushing mine. Her mouth slid from my mouth to my neck, and down to the muscle that sloped to my shoulder. Then she bit me, making me all shivery again.

I got the hang of it after a few more tries, letting my lips move playfully over hers.

Jessica took my hand and squeezed it. “You’re the one,” she whispered.

“The one what?”

“The one who’s going to sink me.”

I wanted to ask what that meant, but I was afraid of seeming dumb. “Okay,” I said, and kissed her again, inhaling the bubble-gum scent of her hair.

After a little while, Mike’s calls of “No babies!” trickled in from the hall.

“Crap,” I whispered. My elbow thumped the back of the closet. Dickie returned just in time, fumbled with the lock, and let us out.

Jessica straightened her shirt and gave me a wink. “See you, J.T.”

I stood, wide-eyed and smiling, as she left. No one from my old school would ever believe I’d kissed a girl like Jessica Keen.

Dickie shook his head and chuckled. “See? Told you she was into you.”

“You’re such a jerk,” I said, unable to keep a ridiculous grin off my face.

He slapped my back. “You’re welcome.”