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Authors: Kim Ghattas

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The BBC bureau in Washington cheered me on collectively. I am especially thankful
to Paul Adams and Jonny Dymond for telling me to go home (and Jonny for reading my
galleys as well), Adam Brookes for being my trusted soundboard for months on end,
Christina Curtis for being so much more than an editor, and Ian and Lou Pannell for
giving me sustenance on the last day with beer-butt chicken.

My colleagues from the State Department press corps are some of the smartest, kindest,
and funniest journalists I have worked with. Thank you for making life on the road
such an adventure. In particular, Glenn Kessler from the
Washington Post
told me everything I needed to know before applying for the job of State Department
correspondent and has been a great friend and colleague during my time on the job.
He read my draft and provided wise, detailed advice as only a master fact-checker
can do. Helene Cooper cheered me on when the book was just a nascent idea and introduced
me to my agent. Thanks as well to Joby Warrick, Mark Landler, Matthew Lee, Christophe
Schmidt, Anne Gearan, Michel Ghandour, Samir Nader, and Sylvie Lanteaume.

Over the course of my career, I have worked for several great news organizations and
have learned much from inspiring colleagues, including Roula Khalaf at the
Financial Times
, Lee Hockstader at the
Washington Post
, and Nicholas Blanford at the
Daily Star
who gave me my first break. I am also deeply grateful to David Ignatius for giving
me the confidence to write my story and for understanding the world I come from.

When it came to the actual writing of the book I was lucky to find my inimitable agent
Dorian Karchmar at William Morris Endeavor. She believed in this idea from the start
and pushed me to dig deeper and deeper as I developed the concept of the book. She
made me rewrite the proposal so many times that I was close to giving up, but during
the arduous process I found my voice as an author and refined the thoughts that form
the backbone of the book. Her energy is limitless and contagious.

The team at Holt embraced the project from the moment they read the first pages. My
wonderful editor Serena Jones accompanied me on this journey and helped make the book
better with tact and good humor. She made sure I reached the finish line while shielding
me from the pressures of the publishing world. She never lost patience, even when
I promised, repeatedly, that I was really almost there. Paul Golob improved the manuscript
with his attention to detail. I could not have had a more dedicated team to promote
the book than Maggie Richards, Melanie DeNardo, and Pat Eisemann. Thanks as well to
Steve Rubin who told me only I could write this book. Designer David Shoemaker started
with a few vague lines of guidance and created a striking cover that reflects the
essence of the book and my journey better than I could have ever pictured. Jacquelyn
Martin from the Associated Press was kind enough to work magic with her camera during
a grueling trip and her photo makes the cover unique.

Although I was not counting on the cooperation of Hillary Clinton and her aides before
I started this project, writing the book without their help would have been an even
more arduous task. They never asked for the details of my project and they may disagree
with my conclusions but I thank them for the access they provided. Philippe Reines
and Caroline Adler gathered key information and answered endless questions in person
and by e-mail. Victoria Nuland never tired of answering my relentless “But why?” Thanks
to Nick Merrill and Ashley Yehl for their help on the road. Thanks as well to Huma
Abedin and Cheryl Mills.

I wrote this book over the course of twelve very intense months during which I interviewed
officials, former officials, junior officials, and their staff members, in Washington,
Paris, Rome, Islamabad, Ankara, Tripoli, Cairo, and elsewhere, in person and over
the phone. Several of them sat with me several times for hours on end, sharing their
time, information, and insights. Several wished to remain anonymous but my writing
and my analysis was enriched thanks to all of their generosity: P. J. Crowley, Jon
Huntsman, Dennis Ross, Lissa Muscatine, Kurt Campbell, Karl Eikenberry, Jake Sullivan,
Joe Macmanus, Jeffery Feltman, Brent Scowcroft, Eric Melby, Vali Nasr, Molly Montgomery,
Fred Ketchem, Jeffrey Bader, Anne-Marie Slaughter, Lew Lukens, Edward Djerjian, Robert
Wood, Husain Haqqani, Shehrbano Taseer, Aamna Taseer, Bernadette Meehan, Paul Narain,
Ahmet Davutoˆglu, Mahmoud Jibril, Ahmed Aboul Gheit, Osman Sert, Franco Frattini,
Jean David Levitte, Maurizio Capra, Giuseppe Manzo, and Mirjam Krijnen.

Several people read the manuscript at different stages and helped greatly improve
it. Special thanks go to Azadeh Moaveni, my longtime friend and intellectual partner
and an accomplished author herself. She challenged me when needed and poured her soul
into helping me refine my draft. This book would not be what it is without her. At
WME, the gifted Simone Blaser went beyond the call of duty, tidied up my ramblings
and my English, and asked unexpected questions. Andrew Small and Daniel Levy provided
much needed expertise and made many corrections. Jeremy Bowen has been an amazing
colleague and true friend for years; his knowledge, reporting, and magical writing
inspire me every day. Jad Salhab probably knows me better than anyone; he read my
draft at short notice and reminded me of my roots. Marwan Muasher’s enthusiasm after
reading my proposal helped me believe I was on to something.

In my research I benefited from the help of four very bright recent university graduates
who have great careers ahead of them. Eric Hoerger put in long hours of indispensable,
sometimes tedious, research over many months and adopted the book as his own. The
multiskilled Paul Blake helped me further understand the America outside of Washington
and repeatedly tested some of my ideas among his friends. David Avalos and Ben Bulmer
also pitched in at various early stages.

I am fortunate to have loving friends who stay close even when they are far away.
They are my anchors and I am grateful that they didn’t give up on me when I became
a hermit. Michele and Karim Chaya have been a source of strength for years; Lamia
Matta and Joe Newman were a second home right next door and endured endless moaning
over good food and late-night drinks. Joe also took pictures and helped me create
a website. The unflappable Joyce Karam saved the day multiple times. Karim Sadjadpour,
aka D.C.’s handsome sheikh, has been my trusted guide to all things Washington. Tony
Yazbek never doubted his high school classmate when she told him she was going be
a journalist. Alexis Morel and Apolline de Malherbe continue to provide intellectual
and culinary sustenance. Katie and Jonathan Whitney made a wonderful, indelible mark
on Washington. Robin Shulman was the first to tell me I had to write a book; Carine
Chebli and Baptiste Desplats gave me a place to write, twice. Kate Seelye has taught
me a lot of what I know about how America sees the Middle East; Beirut and Washington
would not be the same without her. Petra Stienen, Lubna Dimashki, and Josephine Frantzen
were always a phone call away when I flagged. Elise Labott constantly made sure I
was still alive. Nicole Gaouette listened to me go on about the book in Washington
and on endless flights around the world. Thanks also to Kurt Hamrock, Ky Ta, and Anna
Driggs for being on the eighth floor.

I would not have made it to the finish line without Marcel de Vink. He was there when
the book was born; he inspired and nurtured my ideas with his rigor and brilliant
mind. He kept me real, made me laugh, and helped me through the darkest moments with
endless patience.

I would never have embarked on this journey without my parents, Raymond and Helen.
Through fifteen years of war, my parents kept us safe and under one roof and did their
best to provide us with normal lives. Living through war is nothing to be thankful
for but it did push me to always seek meaning in life. Through shelling, water shortages,
and near-death experiences at checkpoints, my parents taught me never to give up and
to never blame anyone or anything else for what’s going wrong in my life. I am in
awe of their strength and grateful for their boundless love, and I hope that, after
many rebellions, my choices make sense. My sisters, Ingrid and Audrey, their husbands,
and my nieces and nephews bring joy to my life every day and have put up with many
absences, real and virtual. My sisters are my best friends. They have been there for
me every single day of my life. There are simply no words to describe my love for
them.

 

INDEX

The index that appeared in the print version of this title does not match the pages
in your eBook. Please use the search function on your eReading device to search for
terms of interest. For your reference, the terms that appear in the print index are
listed below.

HRC = Hillary Rodham Clinton

Abbas, Mahmoud

Abdul Aziz ibn Saud, king of Saudi Arabia

Abdullah, king of Saudi Arabia

Abdulmutallab, Umar Farouk

Abedin, Huma

Abedin, Saleha

Aboul Gheit, Ahmed

Abu Ghraib prison

Adler, Caroline

Afghanistan

Holbrooke and

HRC visits

Pakistan and

Soviet occupation of

War (2002–present)

WikiLeaks and

Africa

Ahmadinejad, Mahmoud

Akihito, emperor of Japan

AK Party (Justice and Development, Turkey)

Alawite sect

Albright, Madeleine

Algeria

Alliot-Marie, Michèle

al-Qaeda

American power

Arab world and

big picture of

BRICS and

China and

decline of

Europe and

HRC and

Lebanon and

multilateralism and

Obama and

pros and cons of

reality vs. beliefs about

Saudi Arabia and

smart power and

Syria and

WikiLeaks and

Amorim, Celso

Annan, Kofi

Aoun, Michel

Arab-Israeli conflict.
See also
Israeli-Palestinian conflict;
and specific countries

Madrid conference

peace talks

Sharm el-Sheikh summit

October War (1973)

Six-Day War (1967)

Arab League

Arafat, Yasser

Art of War, The
(Sun Tzu)

Asia.
See also specific countries

“Asia pivot”

Aso, Taro

Assad, Asma

Assad, Bashar al-

Assad, Hafez al-

Assad, Maher al-

As-Safir
(Lebanese newspaper)

Assange, Julian

Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN)

Atlantic
(magazine)

Aung San Suu Kyi

Australia

Axelrod, David

Baath Party (Syria)

Bader, Jeffrey

Bahrain

uprising in

Baker, James

Balfour Declaration

Barak, Ehud

Batalova, Zauresh

Beauvoir, Simone de

Behrens, Nina

Beirut.
See
Lebanon

Ben Ali, Zin el-Abidine

Benghazi, Libya

Berlin Wall, fall of

Berlusconi, Silvio

Bhutto, Benazir

Biden, Joe

bin Laden, Osama

Blue Bat, Operation

Botswana

Bouazizi, Mohamed

Bo Xilai

Brazil

Iran and

Libya and

Syria and

Brezhnev, Leonid

BRICS (Brazil, Russia, India, China, South Africa)

Britain (United Kingdom)

House of Commons

Mandate Palestine

Bryant, Kobe

Burma (Myanmar)

Burns, Bill

Bush, George H. W.

Bush, George W.

China and

Indonesia and

Iraq War and

Pakistan and

Saudi Arabia and

Cambodia

Cameron, David

Campbell, Kurt

Canada

Cannon, Lawrence

Carter, Jimmy

Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)

Chechnya

Chen Guangcheng

Cheonan
sinking

China

American debt and

American embassy in

Burma and

Copenhagen climate change conference and

Cultural Revolution

currency of

economy of

Egypt and

HRC visits

human rights and

Hu’s visit to U.S. and

India and

Iran and

isolation of

Ivory Coast and

Japan and

Libya and

North Korea and 183

Pakistan and

power of

Russia and

S&ED and

Saudi Arabia and

Shanghai Expo and

South China Sea and

South Korea and

Syria and

Vietnam and

WikiLeaks and

China-ASEAN declaration (2002)

China Daily

Chinese Communist Party

Christians, Arab

Churchill, Winston

civil society

Clegg, Nick

climate change

Clinton, Bill

Israeli-Palestinian conflict and

Clinton, Chelsea

Clinton, Hillary Rodham

Abbas meets with

accessibility of

achievements of

Afghanistan and

Afghanistan visited by

Algeria visited by

American embassies and

American power and

Arab world reforms and

Asia visited by

Aung San Suu Kyi meets with

autobiography
Living History
and

Bahrain and

Bahrain visited by

begins term as secretary of state

Beirut visited by

bin Zayed meets with

Brazil and

briefing books of

Burma visited by

Chen Guangcheng and

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