The Secrets of Mia Danvers (8 page)

But it was, Alex knew that. She might not see it, but this was his family. He was the Duke now and whatever his brother did reflected on the Carrington title and then back on Alex. It was one thing for Drew to find entertainment with servant girls, another altogether for him to seduce genteel ladies. Even if he didn’t realize her familial ties.

Perhaps no one else knew Mia Danvers was still alive, but Alex wouldn’t ignore her upbringing or her family name. She deserved the same treatment as the other Danvers sisters had received. Hell, she deserved to be treated as any lady of the Ton.

“The inspector seemed pleased with the information I gave him,” she said.

“Indeed. He’s very good at what he does,” Alex said.

“How do you know him?” she asked.

“Simon and I went to school together, though he is five years my junior. I believe they call people like him prodigies. He’s highly intelligent, and skipped ahead several years of his schooling.”

“I see. I didn’t realize people could do that.”

“It doesn’t happen very often. Nor is it common for a man of his station to be working for the Metropolitan Police. Though he’s a viscount, he pays someone to manage his family’s properties.”

“That must be bold of him, I suppose, to take a paying position. Although women from good families have been forced to do so for years,” Mia said.

“Rachel?” Alex asked.

Mia’s lips parted in surprise. “How did you know?”

That brief movement of her mouth had been intoxicating and Alex found himself wishing he’d sat next to her on the settee rather than in this damned chair. It was clearly best he sat in his current position with some distance between them. “I did a little investigation,” he said, “wanted to know more about those living on Carrington property.”

“And what did you discover?” she asked. He could have sworn a partial smile played at the corners of her lips.

“That she was your governess before and that she’s been with you at the cottage ever since. But she comes from a decent family. I know that her father was a baron, and she turned to paid employment when his gambling debts depleted the family coffers.”

“She’s never told me the entire story of why she took employment. I suppose I assumed it had to do with financial needs,” Mia said.

“I suspect that it is the only reason. Her father’s gambling problem was significant. And she was an only child. Seems a marriage for her would have solved much of the family’s problems, but only one that would have provided her with much-needed monies.”

“I know there was a man at some point. At least that she loved someone once, but she never much wanted to speak about it so I never pressed the issue,” Mia said.

“She has stayed with you this whole time?” Alex asked.

Mia inclined her head and appeared to pick at her nails. Alex glanced down at her hands and noticed, for the first time, the grayish color on her fingertips and beneath her short-cropped nails. It was still difficult to believe she was an accomplished sculptor even though he’d seen her work.

“I tried to make her leave,” she said. “Well, I tried for a couple of years, but I’ve given up the fight now. She’s a stubborn lot.” When she looked up at him, her startlingly blue eyes met his and it almost felt as if she could see him. She smiled and it transformed her face, the hollowness in her cheeks disappeared and light shone in her eyes with a glint of true happiness. “I know she could make more money elsewhere, but her friendship is invaluable to me. And she still has some contacts in Society, which has enabled me to make the few sculpting sales that I’ve made. I certainly can’t use my real name.”

“Because everyone believes you to be dead,” he said.

“To protect my family,” she said sharply. “My family didn’t know what to do after the accident. My father had recently fallen ill and my mother had him to care for and then me, in addition to trying to get my sisters ready for some manner of introduction into Society.”

He knew all about protecting one’s family, but lying about something like this went beyond saving one’s reputation. Since her sisters had both married well, at least by Societal standards, there was no reason why she could not be reunited with her family if she chose to do so now.

He moved over to the settee and sat next to her. “Mia, you’ve mentioned the accident several times. Would you tell me what happened to you?” he ventured.

“I was a girl when it happened, not quite fifteen, and my sisters and I went out for a ride. Normally I rode with my father, but he’d fallen ill. I much preferred riding with him. He allowed me to ride astride, which always felt safer.” She took a deep breath, then recrossed her legs at the ankles. “But that day my mother insisted I ride as a lady should. Well, that particular day, my horse got spooked. She ran away with me, into the wooded area behind our house. The mare bucked, and threw me. I slammed into a tree, and then my world went black.” She was quiet for several moments before she spoke again. “I must have hit it very hard because I was in a coma for nearly a week.”

“And when you woke up?” Alex prodded.

“I could no longer see.” She shrugged. “At first the doctor thought it was temporary, that my eyesight would return gradually once the swelling went down. But after a year of my family hiding me in the country, I still could not see.”

“So how did you come to live here in London?”

“On the edge of your property?” She smiled. “At some point after the accident my father’s illness became worse. He declined rapidly and passed on.” The sadness in her voice was nearly unbearable. Again Alex had the urge to comfort her, to put his hand on her and bring her peace.

“You and he were close?” he asked.

“Yes, quite close.” She shook her head. “My mother never did understand me. Even before the accident, I was too different for her. More interested in books and my father’s studies and my own art than I was learning the fine art of planning a dinner party. Once he was gone, she was at an utter loss when it came to me.”

It seemed perhaps they had something in common when it came to mothers. Two different women, yet neither were particularly nurturing and motherly.

“They went to London,” she continued, “the three of them: my mother and two sisters. Their visits back to the country became rare. I was left alone with the servants and Rachel. Rachel continued to try to teach me, but in those early months I was so angry. I know now that I was grieving. The loss of my father, the loss of my eyesight.” She shook her head. “I felt rather alone in the world.”

Alex searched for any signs of anger or bitterness now, but found none. Though she spoke of rage, there was seemingly none inside of her today, she simply told the story as if she spoke of nothing more than a stroll in the park.

“It was about five months after my father’s death before the worst of it happened. You see, my father died without a proper heir. It took a while to find the next in line. As it turned out, his estates and title fell to a cousin none of us had ever met. The new viscount marched in, and coolly dismissed my family from the estate. My mother took my sisters to live with her aunt here in London, but she said they could not afford to take me with them.”

He suspected that scenario or something similar would have happened regardless of the new viscount’s dismissal. More than likely Mia’s mother and sisters had been making merry in London, all the while pretending to grieve for their pretty young sister who died tragically in a riding accident.

“I don’t really know much about how I ended up here at Danbridge specifically, other than my mother knew your father. He took pity on her, I suppose, and allowed me to live in your cottage.”

“Yes, he even wrote it into his will,” Alex told her. “He intended for you to live at Danbridge as long as you wished to do so.” Alex continued to watch her. How was she not angry about the fact that her family had actually deserted her, abandoned her when she’d needed them the most? “Have you spoken to your sisters since?”

Mia shook her head. “No, they thought it was best, and that the only way to keep the scandal at bay was to cease all communication, otherwise people would discover that I was still alive. My mother believed it would enable both of my sisters to marry well and restore the family’s coffers so that my mother wouldn’t have to live on charity the rest of her life. The only communication I’ve ever received was a brief message when my mother died.”

“Kind of them to let you know,” Alex said, though she seemed to miss his derision.

“Yes, well, they told me after her funeral. I think they were afraid I’d show up,” Mia said. Then she frowned and shook her head. Her lips thinned and she visibly swallowed. She wiped her eyes before any tears escaped to roll down her cheeks. “I don’t think I would have.”

“Your sisters did marry well,” he said. Though suddenly it seemed less of a compliment or an assurance of their well-being and more of an insult to Mia. She’d been the sacrifice so the rest of the family could keep themselves clothed in the nicest dresses. How had her mother lived with herself while two of her daughters danced with suitors and her youngest sat mostly alone in a cottage with no family to protect her?

He wondered how he would have handled that scenario. He doubted he would have cut her off as if she were some infected limb. Blindness certainly presented a problem, but it wasn’t as if she were a simpleton. She was articulate and poised and . . . damn, but she was beautiful. His throat knotted at the thought of her being dropped off at his cottage when she was a girl of just sixteen.

“I don’t mind being on my own,” she said. “Truly.” There was so much courage in her voice, it was like a kick to his stomach.

She did mind, she had to. Who wouldn’t mind if their entire family simply walked away from them, left them to fend for themselves? Even in the best of situations, a person with all their working faculties would find that difficult.

Without another thought he bent and kissed her.

It was merely a gentle, sweet kiss to comfort her, he told himself. And that was precisely how it started out. A soft kiss, nearly chaste in its tenderness. But her lips were so pliant, so warm, and so soft that desire coiled through him and darted in every direction at once. He moved one hand behind her neck and pulled her closer to him. He held her firmly in place.

She sighed, relaxed into him. And everything changed, shifted. Alex pressed into her, her lips parted and what had begun as tenderness changed abruptly to hunger. He took her mouth with a ferocity that surprised even him.

His tongue slid into her mouth, met hers and merged as if they were one, as if this were the woman he’d been meant to kiss. He explored until he thought he would go mad from wanting her. And he kept enough of his senses to keep his hands in place, to not run them over her ill-fitted dress and feel what curves she hid demurely beneath.

He knew, though, that he needed to stop now, or else there would be no turning back. There was no denying, no pretending, which he wanted. He wanted desperately to lay her back on this settee and spend the rest of the day exploring every curve of her body and pleasuring her until she forgot the wretched things her family had done. Desire or not, he knew it was time to stop. Finally he was able to pull himself away.

He stood, putting space between the two of them. She still sat on the settee, eyes closed, lips parted, a flush covering her cheeks. Damn, but she was beautiful.

“My apologies, Mia, I don’t know what came over me. If you’ll excuse me . . . I’ll make certain a footman sees you home safely.” With that, he walked out of his study.

Chapter Eight

Mia sat still on the settee not certain what had just happened. One moment Alex had been kissing her, eliciting sensations she hadn’t known her body could feel, and then the very next moment she’d been alone. She could feel his void, a chilly draft around her.

She knew enough about the ways between men and women to know that he’d wanted her, truly desired her. She could tell that when he’d deepened the kiss, pulled her closer, pressed her body into his chest. Even now she could still taste him on her lips.

A moment later she was escorted from the study and then led out of the heavy front door by a footman. She’d told the man she could find her way home, but he’d insisted on accompanying her. Evidently, when the meeting with the inspector had run long, Alex had seen to it that Rachel returned home, and now he didn’t want Mia walking alone. So Mia walked silently to her cottage with only the sounds of their shoes treading across the grass.

Why had Alex been so angry? He’d apologized to her using gentle words, but his tone had not matched what he’d said. He’d most assuredly been angry. At her? What had she done? Certainly not anything so serious as to raise his ire to that degree. She might not have the most experience when it came to kissing, well, she had no experience at all, but certainly her kissing skills hadn’t been so lacking that he’d walk away in anger.

For her, the kiss had been oh so pleasant, completely washing away the ugliness from the evening. Waves of soft pleasure poured over her even still, prickling on her skin like warm sunshine despite the chill of the night. Perhaps she had missed something. Been so engulfed in the kiss itself that she’d missed someone else enter the room or a sound somewhere.

Whatever had angered Alex had abruptly ended their kiss. But despite how it had ended, the kiss was glorious and she would revel in that the rest of the night, and perhaps tomorrow as well. She entered the cottage smiling broadly.

“Why are you smiling so?” Rachel asked.

“He kissed me.”

***

A
lex was fighting mad.

Furious with his foolhardy brother for being a complete ass. Annoyed as hell at Mia for being so damned tempting and vulnerable. But mostly he was angry with himself for not having even an ounce of control.

He’d never so much as kissed a woman’s hand when it came to ladies of good breeding. Yes, he’d had his share of tumbles, but with the right manner of woman, women who were designed for passion. Not a woman meant to be someone’s wife. And he certainly couldn’t marry her and couldn’t afford a scandal involving her.

So he’d sent her home, and then he’d stormed through the house and up the stairs. He’d sent Rachel back after the incident with Drew. No need to have him verbally assault any other women that day, at least not in the family home. He should have sent Mia home at the same time, arranged a different time for her to meet with Simon. Perhaps then Alex could have gotten himself under better control.

More than likely, he probably shouldn’t have walked out on her the way he did, but he’d needed distance from her immediately before he’d completely lost control. Needed to get her out of his reach so he didn’t do more than kiss her. She’d been so willing and pliant in his arms, he probably could have laid her back on that settee and ravished her. He sure as hell had wanted to, which frankly was a damned surprise. Yet he could not deny the pull between them.

But he would not do that to her. He was in no position to marry her himself, so he certainly couldn’t afford to damage her virtue.

He caught sight of his brother down the hall. “Drew,” he said. It was the first time Alex had seen the man in nearly a week and all he wanted to do was pound on him.

Drew turned and faced him. He leaned against the wood-paneled wall casually. “Alex,” he said. He didn’t look like he belonged in here. The demeanor was right, all arrogance and privilege, but the filthy clothes and breath that reeked of alcohol didn’t match the opulence of Danbridge Hall.

Alex tried to level his breathing, tried to control his urge to pummel his brother, but doing both of those left him little control for what he’d say. “What the devil do you think you were doing?” His tone held all the anger and disgust he felt.

“Walking to my chambers after having something to eat. I’m rather tired and thought I’d retire for a bit,” he said. His lips quirked in a half smile. “Or is that not what you meant?”

“You know damned well that’s not what I meant,” Alex said. “Why can you not rest at your own damned house?”

Drew shrugged. “There are still repairs going on and all the hammering gives me a headache.”

Alex released a breath. “I knew you had a reputation with women, but I did not realize you were so crude.”

Drew raised his hands in a sign of surrender. “I didn’t realize she was yours, brother, or I wouldn’t have offered.” A cocky smile slid into place. He shrugged and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’d partaken of a pretty face on our staff. I hadn’t seen her before and wanted to introduce myself.”

The stench of too many days without a bath assaulted Alex. He cursed. “You stink.” Alex exhaled. “And she’s not mine. You’re a filthy mess, you need a bath and to lay off the liquor before you get yourself into trouble that I can’t get you out of.”

“I don’t recall asking
you
to get me out of anything,” Drew said, his tone acerbic. “Who is she, by the by?” he asked, deliberately ignoring his brother’s other comments.

“No one you need concern yourself with,” Alex said. “She is, however, a lady and you should never have spoken to her in such a crude manner.”

He shrugged. “She wasn’t dressed like a lady.”

“Regardless, you shouldn’t talk to any woman that way. You want some activity in that area and you know where you can find it. Be discreet, not an ass.” Alex rubbed the back of his neck. “Christ, Drew, you make it hard for me to run this family sometimes. You don’t give a damn about anyone but yourself and whatever you need to feel in that moment. It is long past time for you to grow up.”

Drew shoved off the wall, the arrogant smile gone and in its place a hardened scowl that gave Alex pause. “Go to the devil, Alex.” And with that, he walked away.

Alex listened to his brother’s heavy footsteps down the stairs. No doubt Drew was heading to the club or a gaming hell. He’d get himself killed living like that.

Briefly, Alex wondered what it was that drove Drew to live so recklessly. Was he simply that careless with his own life? There had been many times when Alex had been tempted to have one more glass of brandy after a particularly tedious day, but he was always well too aware of the tasks and duties he’d have to face the following day and he knew he’d need a clear head to do so. Even before he was Duke, his time in the military kept him vigilant about his frame of mind. Perhaps being a third son afforded one too much liberty and not enough responsibility.

The reasons for his reckless behavior mattered not. The point was Drew was single-handedly trying to destroy the Carrington name and Alex couldn’t stand for it. Drew would have to clean up his behavior if he was to continue receiving his allowance. The next time Alex saw him, he’d have to lay down that ultimatum. It was time for him to behave as an adult or risk a considerable portion of his annual income.

***

It was the afternoon of the following day that Alex found himself yet again at Mia’s cottage. It had occurred to him that since assuming the title, he’d been quite careful with all of the other Carrington properties, yet he had not inspected the cottage to ensure it was being properly maintained.

Rachel opened the door and gave him a polite smile. “Your Grace,” she said. A book dangled from her right hand. “We were just reading.”

“Miss Webster, you are not in my employ, there is no need to explain yourself,” he said. “May I come in?”

“Yes, of course, my apologies.” Rachel held the door further open and stepped out of his way.

Mia came to her feet from the worn sofa in the adjacent sitting room. “Alex, what are you doing here?” Her hand went from her throat to pat her hair, smoothing it behind her ear. He couldn’t help but notice that despite her drab clothing, she looked lovely.

“It occurred to me that I have not yet taken stock of the condition of the cottage,” he said. The words sounded false to his own ears. “Since inheriting the title, I’ve been making my way around to inspect the Carrington properties. I had not yet made it here.”

Mia tilted her head. “Neither your father, nor brother before you came to call,” she said.

“How very thorough of you,” Rachel added with a knowing smile. He realized two things in that moment. The first was he’d come here to see Mia, there was no other reason, no matter what he claimed. And two, though Mia might not be able to see him, Rachel had no problem seeing the truth of the matter and she found it amusing. But he’d given his reason for being here and he wouldn’t go back on it. It was his property and he should see that the two women who lived here were in a well-cared-for home.

“Yes, well, it seemed past time,” he said.

“The cottage is comfortable,” Mia said. A line of confusion marred her otherwise perfect forehead. “Do you wish Rachel to show you around?”

He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could utter a sound Rachel had answered.

“I believe it is time for my daily walk,” Rachel announced. She grabbed her cloak and was out the door before anyone could argue with her.

“Dreadful chaperone,” Mia said with a grin. “Well, I suppose I could show you around, though I doubt very much you’d get lost. It’s not an overly large place. And you certainly don’t need my permission to peruse your own property.”

“There is no need for you to show me anything, I can see for myself,” Alex said. Hell, he’d already noticed several problems in this front part of the house. Several of the cupboard doors in the kitchen had loose or broken hinges. There was clearly a draft coming from beneath the front door as there was a rolled-up blanket pushed into the corner that they, no doubt, shoved under the door when they retired in the evenings.

She returned to her seat on the sofa and reached over to the pile of rags beside her. Neatly, she folded one of the rags in her lap, then placed it in the folded pile.

“This cottage is in complete disrepair,” he said. As he took a seat on the sofa next to her, the springs groaned beneath his weight. The thing had lost a good bit of its padding and the hard coil of springs pressed against the upholstery, making it a rather uncomfortable piece of seating furniture. “I shall hire a contractor immediately to come and fix everything that warrants repair. It would make things go much faster, though, if you and Rachel could prepare a list.”

Surprise crossed her features briefly before she schooled her expression. “That won’t be necessary,” she said. She retrieved another rag.

The cottage was clean and obviously well cared for, but the need for reparations was so obvious. Alex felt a pang of guilt at the fact that she’d lived here for nearly nine years and he was the first person to come and check on the state of affairs. And that wasn’t even the true reason he’d come today, though now that he was here he could not ignore the neglect. She wasn’t technically a responsibility of the Carrington family, but still she was a person, one whom her own family had walked away from. Someone should see to her welfare.

“It’s not about necessity, it’s about taking care of my own property,” he said.

“I do not require your charity,” she said tartly. Then she took several deep breaths. “My apologies. I did not mean the disrespect. I, of course, am very grateful to live here; I only meant that it is not your responsibility to pay for repairs. The cupboard doors work well enough.”

He didn’t bother to ask how she’d known he’d been glancing at them. He’d learned in the last couple of days that Mia Danvers was exceptionally observant. “What of the draft beneath the front door?” he asked. “Or the way the floor creaks. There are also signs that the roof needs patching. Am I not allowed to restore my own property?”

“Of course.” She dropped the rag into her lap. “Alex, I have lived in this cottage for nine years and no one has ever visited to see of the state of affairs. What is the true reason for your visit?” She tossed him a rag. “Here, you want to be helpful, help me fold.”

A duke folding rags? The square fabric lay across his lap in a haphazard manner. She really had no notion of propriety, or if she did she simply didn’t seem to care. But then what had Society ever done for her? Turned its back on her, banished her here to live without family or a husband or any manner of protection?

She passed him three additional rags, though he had yet to fold the first one. She then proceeded to fold the one on her lap. Her long fingers moved gracefully and methodically as she folded one side and then the other so that she ended up with a neat little square. He tried, in vain, to mimic her movements, but his efforts resulted in an uneven mess. He watched her for several moments before he spoke again.

“I wanted to apologize again,” he said to her.

“For what?” Mia asked. She placed the folded rag onto the stack of others, then reached for the remaining one.

“Taking liberties with you,” he said.

“The kiss?” Her hands stopped moving, but she worried the fabric between her thumb and forefinger. “Why should you apologize for that?”

He tried again to fold as she had done, but he seemed all thumbs. He reached over and placed the remaining rags in her lap. “There is a reason men don’t do this.”

She smiled briefly.

“I need to apologize because you are unmarried, I had no right to touch you.”

“My virtue is still intact.” She shrugged, but Alex couldn’t help but think she looked somewhat sad. “There was no harm done.”

“Still, there could have been significant damage had someone seen us,” he said.

She rounded her shoulders and sat straighter. “Well, I found the entire experience particularly enjoyable,” Mia said. “I am rather offended you feel the need to apologize.”

“That makes no sense,” Alex said.