The Shadow of the Sycamores (42 page)

‘But I’ll never love anybody else!’ Mara burst out. ‘Never!’

‘That is what you think at present but time could change your mind.’

‘I’ll never change and, if Leo is willing, I’ll marry him as soon as you can arrange it.’

‘If you are still of the same mind in the morning, I will ask our minister to perform the ceremony here. I doubt if Leo would care to be seen in church or in a registry office. Goodnight, Samara. Think it over carefully, remember.’

She did not take long to think it over. Despite a tiny voice telling her that she would be meeting her destiny head on, that there would be no turning back, a lovely warmth inside reminded her that marriage was expected to follow an engagement. Marrying Leo was what she had always dreamed of and it would work out for them, of course it would. The cottage on the outskirts of Ardbirtle was, by all accounts, set well apart from any other dwelling places, so there would be no neighbours popping in to upset the apple cart. They would be alone together; she would make her routine around Leo; she would cook only what he liked; she would bestow all her love on him. Surely he couldn’t fail to respond to that. Surely they would get back to the relationship they used to have, the fond teasing, the shared jokes, the reciprocated love. It would take time but they had all the time in the world.

Fate was smiling on Jerry Rae for once. The expected move across the Channel had been postponed for at least a month, they were told, with no reason given. Not that he needed a
reason. It meant that he and Daphne Nelson could have more time to get to know each other properly.

During the first few days, they arranged to meet at a spot handy for both of them but the slight restraint in her manner to him made him wonder if she wished he had stayed out of her life. Maybe he should have let well alone. He wanted to have her as a friend yet friendship could develop into something more serious and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that yet.

Then Daphne told him that her parents wanted to meet him and the warmth of their welcome, together with the girl’s obvious pride in him as she made the introductions, made him realise that she had just been shy before.

They spent every evening together now and practically the whole of the weekends, their blossoming feelings making him almost forget that he was really on borrowed time. By rights, he should have been in France or Belgium, doing his bit to win the war. Instead he was falling deeper and deeper in love with a girl he had known for so short a time.

Unrepentant, however, he let her take him for walks, show him the sights and even teach him to dance – she really could dance. He would have liked to do more than kiss her – he sometimes felt that she wanted more – but he was afraid to try. He had learned, from Anna’s experiences, what could happen to a girl if the man got carried away. He had learned, from his own experience with Anna, to hold back his own passions but it was proving much more difficult with Daphne.

Three weeks had passed of the month’s reprieve he had been given when he sensed a change in Mr and Mrs Nelson’s attitude towards him. They had always been very friendly but now they were treating him almost as if he were part of the family – or as if they wanted him to be.

Then came the night when Rob, Daphne’s father, invited him to go to the local with him and his suspicions were proved correct. Not that he minded. It was good to know that the parents of the girl he loved actually approved of him.

He was on his first half-pint of bitter when the man said,
‘Lil told me to ask you … um … if your … intentions towards our daughter are honourable.’

Somewhat taken aback, Jerry gave a nervous smile and Rob went on, ‘Don’t panic, though. It’s early days yet so you don’t have to commit yourself if you’re not sure.’

An instant judgement – he loved the girl, he was fond of her parents – was all it took. ‘No, I’m quite sure. I want to marry Daphne if you give your permission?’

Rob burst out laughing now and gave the younger man a thumping slap on the shoulder. ‘Give my permission? That’s a good un. The wife as much as said I’d to get you to agree even if I’d to hold a gun to your head.’ Turning to the man behind the bar, he said loudly, ‘We’ll have whisky now, please landlord. This kiltie’s just asked for my daughter’s hand in marriage.’

The landlord, clearly a good friend, shouted out the glad tidings to all and sundry and, in no time, Jerry and his future father-in-law had a row of drinks sitting in front of them. At closing time, Rob had to help Jerry outside and they giggled all the way back to the house, luckily only a short distance.

Probably having guessed that this would happen, Lil Nelson merely gave a resigned smile when they went in, though Daphne showed more concern for her young man. ‘Is he all right?’ she demanded of her father. ‘You shouldn’t have given him so much to drink.’

‘It weren’t me,’ Rob sniggered. ‘It were Frank’s fault. He let the whole bar know and everybody sent us over a whisky.’

Lil frowned. ‘You should have known Jerry couldn’t manage that. I bet he’s never drunk anything more than a pint of bitter before. Aren’t I right, Jerry?’

His head spinning to a rhythmic hammering in his brain, his stomach threatening to give up its contents, the youth could only nod. He wasn’t sure what was happening, though one thing stood out in his mind. Somehow or other, he had asked for Rob’s permission to marry his daughter but it was Daphne he really should be … Whatever he should be doing, he couldn’t do it now. If he didn’t get outside right this very minute, he’d make a proper exhibition of himself.

‘I’m … going … to … be …’

It was Lil who hauled him to his feet, who propelled his rubber legs to the tiny lavatory by the back door, who heaved a sigh of relief when they made it safely.

Once he was allowed back to the sitting room, he was handed cup after cup of strong, sweet tea in an effort to sober him, while Daphne wailed, ‘Can’t he just sleep here for tonight? He can’t go back to his billet like this.’

‘He’ll have to.’ Rob was looking sheepish now, although he was able to hold his liquor far better than Jerry. ‘He has to be in by ten, hasn’t he? And, if he isn’t, he’ll be in big trouble. God, I’m sorry. I should’ve thought …’

‘So you should,’ Lil declared angrily, ‘and you’re going to make sure he does get back in time.’

Giving Daphne a look of mortified apology – for being drunk, for being sick and for not being able to do anything for himself – Jerry allowed Lil to button him into his greatcoat.

‘I hope you’ve learned a lesson from this,’ she said, sharply, jamming his balmoral bonnet down on his head with some force, with its ‘Bydand’ badge dead front instead of at the side.

‘It wasn’t his fault,’ Daphne pleaded.

Her mother rolled her eyes to the ceiling. ‘I know that and you know that and Jerry knows that but there’s some people in this house who can never admit to being to blame for anything.’

Rob scowled at her. ‘I did. I told you I never thought …’

‘You never do. Now, get off for goodness sake and get this poor boy back before they put him on a charge or whatever they do.’

‘I’ll get him back,’ Rob muttered, putting the top button of his overcoat through the second buttonhole. ‘Don’t you worry about that!’

‘Should I go with them?’ Daphne asked after the two men went out. ‘Just to make sure they get there all right?’

‘Your father’ll manage. He’s not as drunk as he looks.’

The blast of cold air increasing the degree of Rob’s inebriation, however, it would have been a miracle if Jerry had
reached his billet that night at all, if one of the young kilted men who passed them had not recognised him and hooked his arm. ‘We’ll see he gets back,’ he said to Rob. ‘Leave him with us.’

‘Thanks.’ The elder man turned slowly, careful not to lose his balance, and tottered off the way he had come.

And so, not having said a word to the girl herself, Jerry was now affianced to Daphne Nelson and Rob, arriving home a mere ten minutes after setting off on his errand of mercy, got the full force of his wife’s wrath for not escorting the boy right to the door of his billet.

Because this was an interval of ‘marking time’ before they would be plunged into battle, discipline was not so strict, roll call was later and, to make things even better for the young Gordon Highlanders, they were told the next morning that it would be another three weeks at least before they had to leave the white cliffs.

‘And God help all the young maidens in Dover,’ the sergeant observed with a scowl. ‘They’ll need to keep their hand on their ha’penny. But I tell you this, if even one o’ you silly buggers puts a lass up the spout, I’ll take it out on the whole jing-bang o’ youse.’

Howls of protest greeted this but he swaggered out of the mess, his kilt swaying in time to the tread of his size twelve boots, polished to such a degree that anyone could see his face in them – if he were brave enough to look.

Nevertheless, it was good news, the very best. These youths, most of them still in their teens, were free from maternal eyes, free from all restraints except the sergeant’s threat and, even if they were kept busy drilling and making sure they kept their rifle and bayonet skills sharp, they had every evening free. What else could they do except amuse themselves with the girls?

It had gone well past the amusing stage for Jerry, though. He was in dead earnest now. He had asked Rob’s permission – been forced to ask, really, but he didn’t mind – to marry Daphne, although he still had to ask the girl herself. He put
the question to her that night, not on his knees because the grass was wet, but she hadn’t cared. She didn’t even take time to consider it, just threw her arms around him and kissed him until he was gasping for air.

He pondered over telling her about Anna and the baby, but it was still too raw too speak about and, anyway, what was the point? What he felt now was far beyond anything he had felt for Anna Cairns, even after they were wed. His love for her had been pity to a large extent and who could tell what she had felt for him? Whatever it was, it was certainly not the love of a normal girl for her husband. Besides, Daphne could never find out about his first marriage. He hadn’t told his parents so they could never tell her anything. The only people who knew were the Millers and Tina Paul and Daphne would never come in contact with any of them.

*    *    *

After the wedding in the house at Cramond, James Ferguson accompanied his son and his wife to Ardbirtle despite Samara’s assurances that she could manage Leo by herself.

‘If it was a straightforward journey,’ the man had pointed out, ‘it wouldn’t be so bad but you’ll need a taxi to take you to Waverley to get the train to Aberdeen and then you’ve to change at the other end. Once you get to Ardbirtle, you’ll need another taxi to take you to Corbie Den and there’s luggage to manage as well as an invalid husband. No, it’s best that we come with you.’

In the event, as Samara had expected and was quite relieved about, Madeline had opted to have an ‘excruciating headache’ that day and was unable to travel but the young woman was very glad of her father-in-law’s help. She definitely would never have managed on her own.

James stayed with them until he was sure that she was going to cope and he even hired a car to take him to see Henry and Fay, to let them know that his son was far from ready for visitors. Fay’s first thought was that he was wrong, that Leo
would be delighted to see them, then came the realisation that he was blind and she decided that his father was probably right. It would take some time yet.

James Ferguson made quite an impression on Henry. He had supposed that an ex-top surgeon would look down on ordinary working folk but he couldn’t have been friendlier. He visited them quite a few times and he also insisted on staying with Leo for an hour now and then to let Mara go in the taxi to see her parents.

The young bride had to keep reassuring her mother that she would be all right, that she would manage to deal with Leo whatever happened, and Fay could see that her daughter was on heckle pins all the time she was there. It was quite clear that she was not happy being away from her husband.

Before he returned to Edinburgh, James Ferguson endeared himself to Fay by praising Samara and saying that he had every confidence in her. ‘She is much stronger than she looks, mentally as well as physically, and she knows how to handle Leo. You and Henry made a good job of raising her and I do not think it will be very long before you will be welcome visitors to Corbie Den.’

Mara now had sole responsibility of caring for her husband for the first time, dealing with his moods and tantrums, easing his aches and pains, allaying his fears of the nightmares that still haunted him. After the first week, she wondered how long she could keep going with only two or three hours’ sleep every night but, gradually, as winter gave way to spring, the snow and frost disappeared, the snowdrops began to nod their heads and there were wide patches of yellow and purple as the crocuses put in their appearance.

Everything changed now. Leo thought he could see shadows, not definite shapes, but at least it gave him hope. The soft breezes brought a lightness into the young couple’s lives and they spent much time in the gardens surrounding the cottage. The crows – the corbies that gave its name to their home – started to build their nests in the trees, in the same place and same time every year, as the young couple were to discover. A
much calmer Leo, his sight continuing to improve, would sit of an afternoon watching Samara as she weeded the flowerbeds, planted seed potatoes and other vegetables in the vegetable patch and generally put their ‘estate’ in order.

They could converse companionably now and the young woman soon noticed a change in Leo’s appearance as well as in his temperament. His facial scars were not so noticeable; the angry redness had faded. She decided that spending so much time in the open air was good for him and so she started taking him outside for an hour or so in the early evenings also. They would listen to the birds chattering to each other, watch them hopping up to the bird tables she filled every day with crumbs and dishes of water, laugh at the blue tits, who would only go into the box with the hole just big enough for them.