The Shadow Stealer (Silver Moon Saga Book 3) (32 page)

Chapter Fifty-five

I sat at Philip’s bedside in the hospital, waiting for my brother to wake up. Doctors flitted in and out of the room, talking about blood transfusions and other things that went over my head. Because Skinless had stopped my powers before I could finish healing Philip, he’d lost a lot of blood. Hence the hospital visit and the bedside vigil I was currently keeping. Kain was the one who should be here with Philip, but he was undergoing surgery to fix all of the broken bones in his hand. Charles, who had called his Silver Moon contacts to send a private ambulance to the park, had seemed worried when he spoke to the doctor, but when he saw me looking, he tried to reassure me by saying things like, “they’re young” or “they’re strong.” That didn’t matter. Young or strong, they were still hurting.

But at least they could be fixed.

I sighed and shifted in my uncomfortable chair, pulling the blanket a kind nurse had given me tighter around my body. It was stifling hot in Philip’s room, but I couldn’t stop shivering. I was in shock, but I refused to let the nurses give me anything. For the first (and last) time, I hadn’t fallen unconscious after healing. Yes, I was bone-weary and numb with grief, but I didn’t want to take some pill that plunged me into darkness. I’d had enough of the dark.

Since arriving at the hospital, I’d refused to leave Philip’s side. Rafe had stepped out to see how Evan and Alexandra were doing and then returned to fill me in on what had happened. Apparently Evan had cast
all
of his magic at once to completely destroy Collins’s shattering barrier, saving everyone in the process, and he’d passed out right after. “He needs to replenish what he spent,” Rafe explained to me, “and then he’ll be back to his annoying self.” While Rafe’s tone of voice was light, I could see the worry in his eyes. I’d overheard him talking to Charles in the hallway, and it sounded like there was a chance Evan’s magic might
not
come back. Ever. It was too soon to tell. The doctors were keeping him overnight for observation, but even though they could heal his physical wounds, they obviously couldn’t do anything about his magic. Alexandra was with Evan, which was exactly what he needed right now, to distract him from what he’d lost.

But at least he’s alive.
Digging my nails into the palms of my hands, I forced myself to think about something else.
Anything
else.

Nina had disappeared. Charles had tried to play it off like it didn’t matter to him, that we were all better off if we never saw her again, but after she’d helped us defeat Collins, I knew Charles believed there was still good in her. And maybe there was. But if she hadn’t done what she did, Mom would still be alive and…

And I didn’t want to think about what ifs. There were too many. For example, what if Mom had told us about the price before she helped with the parasite spell? Rafe hadn’t taken the news of Mom’s sacrifice well. It was a horrible choice—my mom or Rafe—and I was angry that she’d made it without consulting any of us. She should have told us! I knew Rafe would have refused to go through with it, and I would have supported his decision. There had to have been another way.

But again, why waste my time with the what ifs? What difference did they make? Mom had made her choice—alone—and she’d paid the ultimate price.

Her life.

It felt like I was dreaming. How could she be gone again? And this time for good? I clutched a hand to my forehead. What was I supposed to tell Dad and Chloe?

The low conversation between Rafe and Charles cut off. “Gabi?” Rafe touched me softly on my shoulder. “Are you feeling sick again? Do you need me to get a nurse?”

Again, I refused. What was the point of drugs? I didn’t want to dull the pain; pain meant I was alive.

Mom had sacrificed her life for mine, and I needed to honor that sacrifice by living. The good, the bad, I needed to experience it all.

Charles cleared his throat and stood. “I’m going to get some coffee from the cafeteria. Do you two want anything?”

We shook our heads no and he left the room. Outside in the hallway, nurses and doctors and visitors walked by, totally oblivious to the raw pain I was experiencing. Rafe hadn’t removed his hand from my shoulder, and when he moved closer, I could tell he wanted to take me in his arms and let me cry.

But I’d done that already. At the park. In the ambulance. Waiting outside Philip’s room while the doctors worked on him. And while I did feel like I could cry for another week, I didn’t want to.

I glanced at my brother, who continued sleeping soundly. I needed to talk to him. I didn’t know what I was going to say, but the need to see him awake was a fierce longing in my chest. “When he wakes up,” I said slowly, “do you think I could speak to him alone?”

“Of course.” Rafe kissed me on the cheek, and we fell silent, waiting for Philip to open his eyes. It took another twenty minutes, and I’d begun to feel drowsy while I waited. But the moment his brown eyes fluttered open, I jolted in my chair, wide awake.

I leaned forward and placed a hand over his. Philip’s brown eyes shifted toward me, confused. “Hi,” I said softly. Rafe slipped out of the room, just like I asked, promising me he’d be right outside if I needed him.

“Hey,” Philip said. I helped him with the controller for the bed so he was sitting upright. Glancing around the room, Philip pressed his lips together in a thin line as his gaze rested on me again. “Who did you heal?”

My hands automatically went to my hair. It wasn’t completely white, like the last two times, but there were streaks mixed throughout the honey-colored strands. Letting my hands drop to my lap, I said, “You.”

“Me?” His lips quirked in a weaker version of his crooked smile. “Then why do I still feel like shit?”

“The demon stopped me before I could finish.”

His smiled faded. “What are you talking about?”

I stared at Philip, my chin trembling. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to tell him what had happened. I didn’t want to be the one responsible for causing him pain.

But who else should tell him? Kain couldn’t. Rafe? No, that wasn’t his place. Charles? Charles would, but Philip would rather hear it from me, I knew that.

“The demon came for me, Phil. It allowed me to heal you, enough to stop the bleeding, but not enough to make you one hundred percent better, like it had with Rafe, or Evan, or Alex. It came for me, and Kain tried to stop it.”

Philip paled. His eyes darted around the room, as if just realizing we were the only ones in it. “Where’s Kain?” He made to get out of bed and I put my hands on his shoulders, barely restraining him. “Gabi, where’s Kain?”

“He’s in surgery!” I said in a rush before Philip could knock me over and dart out of the room. Of course, telling him his boyfriend was in surgery did
nothing
to calm him down. “The demon broke his hand. Badly. They’re working on repairing it, and they told me he’s going to be fine. That’s all I know right now, I swear.”

He swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I need to see him.”

“Didn’t you just hear me? You can’t! He’s in surgery!”

“I don’t care!” Philip shouted, causing me to flinch.

“Stop yelling,” I pleaded in a soft whisper. “Please, Phil—I need to tell you— Something happened. Something horrible.” Philip made to interrupt and I held up a hand. “Don’t. I need to say this, and it’s really hard, so could you just let me talk?”

There must have been something in my expression or my voice, because instead of continuing to argue with me, Philip nodded and gestured for me to continue.

My voice shaking, I described how Skinless had captured me, and how I’d found a way to bring Rafe into the shadows with me. I told him about the fight, and how I’d figured out how to get out of its illusion.

“Mom was there. She told the demon to take her instead, and it did. Only, something happened.” I shuddered, remembering the way Skinless had screamed at Mom for tricking it. Sensing my discomfort, Philip reached over and took my hand back in his.

“What did?” he asked.

Now came the hard part. I swallowed hard, tears flowing down my cheeks. “Mom was infected with the parasite spell.”

“What?” Philip gasped. “The parasite spell? Did Nina use it on her?”

I shook my head.

“Then how—” Comprehension dawned on his face. “When she helped remove it from Rafe. A price had to be paid, and she was the one to pay it.” Philip slammed his fist down on the bed. “Shit! Why didn’t I realize that? She must have been weakened by it but didn’t tell you…” He watched the blood drain from my face and his grip on my hand tightened. “Gabi, what happened? She should have been able to infect the demon with the spell, and that would have killed it. But you’re not—you wouldn’t be crying if that’s all that happened.” His voice lowered to a whisper. “Gabi, please…”

I was sobbing so hard I could barely get the next words out. “She
did
infect the demon with the spell, but when it realized what she’d done, it stabbed her with its tail. She’s dead, Phil. The demon killed her!”

His eyes widened with horror. For a moment, I thought he was going to start breaking anything in the room he could get his hands on. Then, suddenly, it was like all of his energy left him. His shoulders slumping, Philip shook his head over and over again, mouthing the word ‘no.’

“She’s dead because of me,” I said miserably, brushing tears from my cheeks. “Because I’m not strong enough or smart enough or—”

“No.” This time he spoke the word out loud. It was sharp, puncturing the air like a thunderclap. “Don’t you
dare
blame yourself.”

But the pain was too fresh to think otherwise. If I’d been able to overpower Skinless, if I’d never healed, if I’d never broken the summoning circle as a child—

Mom would still be alive.

The what ifs were back, and they were threatening to destroy me.

“Stop.” Philip leaned over, placing his hands on my shoulders. “I know what you’re thinking, and stop it. You can’t spend the rest of your life blaming yourself for this when you did nothing wrong.”

“No, Phil,” I said darkly. “I did
nothing
. That’s a huge difference.”

He gave me a little shake. “You’re not a hunter! You’re not a sorcerer! You were never supposed to be mixed up in any of this.” Philip’s voice cracked. “God, Gabi, if you want to blame someone, blame me. If I hadn’t gotten hurt when I was twelve, she never would have had to summon the demon!”

“But that’s ridiculous—”

“How is it any different from you blaming yourself?” Philip asked hotly. “Or Rafe blaming himself for his parents’ deaths? It
is
ridiculous because it wasn’t anything we did or didn’t do. It was a whole bunch of events that lead us up to this point. What if you hadn’t stepped into that summoning circle? Maybe the demon would have refused to heal me and I would have died. What if you had never met Rafe that night? Then the demon who followed you home would have killed you. Or maybe not. We don’t know, and we’ll never know. But think of this, Gabi. If you hadn’t met Rafe that night, and if you hadn’t agreed to go hunting with him, you never would have healed, and you never would have seen Morgan. You got to see her again. It was only for a short time, but isn’t that better than never seeing her ever again?”

I understood what Philip was saying. Maybe someday, when the pain wasn’t so fresh, I would even begin to believe him. But right now, it was so hard to see past all the things I’d done that brought us to this point where we sat in Philip’s hospital room and cried for the woman who’d briefly been our mom.

Chapter Fifty-six

About fifteen minutes later, a nurse entered the room. After she checked his vitals, Philip began arguing with her about visiting Kain. He was being unnecessarily rude to the poor woman who was only trying to do her job, so I reached over and pinched him on his arm, hard. Philip turned his wrath on me and looked like he was moments from throwing a huge fit when Charles walked in.

“Philip,” Charles said, the relief apparent on his face. He looked like he had aged ten years since we’d sat in Bryant Park, listening to him talk about Mom. Crossing the room in two strides, his eyes roaming over his son, he asked the nurse, “How is he?”

“Stubborn,” the nurse replied, making a final note in Philip’s chart. “Which means he’ll be fine.”

“I want to see Kain,” Philip said.

“Can you get a wheelchair?” Charles asked. “I’ll take him there myself—”

“I can walk!” Philip glared at each of us in turn. “You heard her; I’m fine!”

Charles exhaled loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. I’d seen that same expression on his face plenty of times, but always because of me. “Phil, you nearly bled to death today. Can’t you put your pride aside for once and allow me to take care of you?”

Philip opened his mouth and then closed it. He was watching his father with a curious expression on his face. The nurse, noticing the tension in the room, quietly excused herself, promising to return with the wheelchair, and I wished I could follow her. But if I got up from my chair, the spell would break, and Philip and Charles wouldn’t have their long overdue conversation.

“Gabi told me about Morgan,” Philip said at last, staring at his lap. “I know you still cared about her, so… I’m sorry. About a lot of things. I should have told you she was alive sooner. Then maybe we could have prevented this from happening.” He glanced my way, silently begging my forgiveness.

I gave him a small nod. I didn’t blame him for Mom’s death. What he’d said earlier—about there being a chain of events that led up to this moment—was true. Everyone—from Mom summoning a demon to Evan alerting Silver Moon about me to Nina using demon magic on Rafe to me healing—had played a part. We could either blame ourselves—

Or try to move on.

I was going to try. It was going to be hard, but no one ever said facing life’s challenges were easy.

“Dad?” Philip’s voice was small. “I think I understand why you told me Morgan had died when I was a baby. You were trying to protect me, weren’t you?”

“Phil…” Charles’s face crumpled.

I took that as my cue to leave, silently slipping out of my chair and heading for the hallway. Hesitating, I glanced over my shoulder to see Charles embracing his son as they mourned for Mom. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to fix their relationship immediately, but I was confident they would find a way to see past their mistakes and start over, as father and son.

I stepped into the hallway.

“Gabi?”

Dad stood in front of me, Rafe next to him. I let out a startled gasp and backed up, crashing into the wall. “
Dad
? What are you doing here?”

“I asked him to come,” Rafe answered.

Why?
Why?
Why would Rafe do that? What the heck was I supposed to tell Dad? How would I explain our injuries and Mom’s death—

I stopped.
He has a right to know.
Sitting in Philip’s room, waiting for him to wake up, I’d wondered what I was going to tell Dad and Chloe. Would I continue to lie to them? Pretend that Mom had vanished again?

But I was so tired. So bone-crushingly weary. No more lies. No more sneaking around. I couldn’t do this anymore.

“Gabi,” Dad said again, walking toward me. “Rafe called and said there was an accident. And he asked me to bring this.” Dad held up Rafe’s baseball cap, the one he’d bought during our first non-date. Scanning my hair, his expression grew worried. “You need to tell me what’s going. All of it.”

Accepting the cap from him, I nodded. A nurse brushed by, giving us a curious look, and I said, “Can we go somewhere? The cafeteria, maybe?”

“Okay.” He glanced at Rafe. “I’ll meet you down there.” Dad walked away, surprisingly calm. That filled me with hope.
I can do this.

Putting on the baseball cap, I turned to face Rafe.

“Are you mad?” he asked, worried.

“No. I get why you called him. I’m going to tell him everything. He deserves to know—especially about Mom.” I stepped forward and circled my arms around his neck, hugging him. The brim of the cap bumped against his shoulder, and I adjusted it slightly. “Thank you. You’re always thinking about me. Like with the hat.”

“I know how much you hate it when your hair turns white,” Rafe said, his voice low, “so I figured you could use this to cover it up until you get a chance to dye it.”

“See? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Even when you have your own stuff to deal with, you’re concentrating on me.”

He held me tightly, like he never wanted to let me go. “What you’re going through? I get it. I lost both of them. And I’m not saying that to compare tragedies. Losing someone you care about is the worst, and it’s going to hurt for a long, long time. I just want you to know that you have people in your life who love you and will do
anything
for you. I didn’t have that. The few people who cared, I pushed away, until only Evan stood by my side. And being alone was awful. I wanted to give up so many times.” Rafe leaned back, his green eyes searching my face. “But you’re different. You’re a fighter, and I know you’ll never give up. But if you feel sad, feel sad. If you’re angry, get angry. I know what you’re feeling, and I’m going to be by your side, every step of the way.”

“Why are you so perfect?” I whispered through my tears. “I swear I won the lottery the night you stepped into my backyard and beheaded Crotch Soda Boy.”

“And drenched you with green blood,” he said, smiling fondly. “Did I ever tell you how guilty I felt about that? A pretty girl appeared in front of me, and I ruined her night
and
clothes with one swing of my sword.”

I smiled too. “And in the process, you stole my heart.” I tilted my head back and he responded by kissing me, softly at first, but then the kiss deepened, and pretty soon we forgot all about demons and hospitals and even our grief as we clung to each other, lost in our own world.

***

I paused outside the cafeteria, my heart hammering. Rafe squeezed my hand. “You can do this.”

“You’re right.” I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Readjusting my baseball cap one final time, I walked into the cafeteria to where Dad sat by the window. Two cups of coffee and a giant slice of apple pie sat on the table, untouched. I took the seat across from him and we stared at each other, the din of the cafeteria echoing around us noisily.

I fidgeted in my chair, unsure where to start. I’d meant it when I said I wanted to tell him everything, but this was kind of freaking crazy. Dad would probably ask them to lock me up after I was done. Ugh. I should have asked Rafe to come with me, so he could back up my story, but that was taking the coward’s way out. The only one who could tell Dad this stuff was me.

So I started from the beginning, that October night when my biggest problem had been how bored I was at work. I left nothing out. All the demons, all the fights, all the injuries—I told Dad everything, up to and including what had happened today. By the time I finished, my throat was raw from talking so much, and my face was wet with tears. I took a sip of my lukewarm coffee and eyed Dad over the brim of the cup, waiting for him to declare me insane or, worse, a liar.

“I believe you,” he said.

I choked on my coffee. “You
what
?” I must have been even more exhausted than I realized, because there was no way he’d just said what he had.

Dad reached for his coffee cup, but he didn’t drink from it. “I said I believe you. Years ago, before your mother and I were married, I walked in on her doing…something. With glowing lights and floating objects and chalk drawings on the floor. The next morning, when I asked her about it, she told me I’d been drunk. And I believed her because I
had
been
really
drunk that night.” At my incredulous look, Dad cleared his throat. “Which is beside the point. I shrugged it off and forgot about it, but after she left, with that vague note telling me she had to go to keep us safe, I couldn’t help but wonder if it really had been a drunken hallucination.” He played with his coffee cup, removing the lid and replacing it with quick, nervous movements. “I never thought I would say this, but your mom being a sorcerer explains a lot of things.”

“Yeah, that really is a bizarre sentence,” I agreed. “I just—wow. I can’t believe I told you this and you’re calmly accepting it. The demon hunting and everything.”

“Hmm.” Dad gave me a stern look. “I knew Rafe was too good to be true. All this time, you were going out hunting and landing yourselves in dangerous situations. I think I’d rather you were having sex—at least there’s protection for that.”

“Dad!” I wailed, my face heating up as I glanced around furtively to make sure no one had overheard him. Having a discussion about sex with my dad was the last thing I ever wanted to do. Especially in public!

He smirked before taking a sip of his coffee. Making a face, he put the cup down. “Bleh. It’s gone cold. Hopefully this pie is better.” After handing me a fork, he dug in with his own. I hadn’t eaten anything in what felt like forever, but as I stared at the pie, I just couldn’t bring myself to eat.

For probably the first time in my life, I put the fork down and said, “I don’t want any.” I wished life could be fixed with a slice of pie, but it couldn’t. “Dad, what are we going to do?”

He sighed softly, weighing my question carefully before responding. “First, we’re going to eat this pie. Or at least I am, and you’re going to watch me. Then, after Kain gets out of surgery, I’m going to take you home and start preparing for a funeral.”

My stomach dropped at the mention of a funeral. I hadn’t even thought of that. So much to do, so many people to tell. “Oh my god, what about Chloe? What are we going to tell her?”

“We’re going to tell her the truth—that your mother was sick,” Dad said. “As for the other stuff? I’d rather she didn’t know any of it. Why should she remember that monster kidnapping her? I can’t exactly ask you to erase your own memories, but at least with Chloe, she’s already forgotten everything. Maybe that’s wrong of me, to hide things from her, but I want to protect both of you as much as possible…”

“No, it’s the right choice. It’s what I chose to do after it happened, and I still believe in that decision.” After the attack, Chloe had changed, but for the better. I didn’t want to think about what type of person she would be had she remembered everything.

“Maybe someday we can tell her,” Dad started.

I raised my eyebrows. “She’ll never believe us. We’d have to have the boys do a magic demonstration or something. And then she’ll get pissed at us for hiding it from her for so long!”

He chuckled. “You’re right. We’re probably better off never telling her.” He took another bite of pie and pointed at it with his fork. “Are you sure you don’t want any?” I shook my head. “Now, I’m not going to do anything drastic like ban you from ever seeing Rafe again, but you do realize you’re not allowed to go hunting with him again, right?”

No more hunting. The idea of no longer chasing demons was actually… not as horrible as I thought it would be. No more monsters, no more ruined clothing…

No more watching my friends get hurt.

But they would still hunt. I knew they would. It was in their blood. It’s what they had trained their whole lives for. I couldn’t ask Rafe to give it up; that wouldn’t be fair. It would be like asking me to stop eating chocolate cake. An impossibility.

But me? I was done pretending I was a hunter. It was time to be a normal teenager again.

“Got it.” I grinned. “But we’re going to the prom, and we usually See demons when I dress up nice, so—”

“Run,” Dad said. “In the opposite direction. As fast as you can in heels and a dress.”

“That,” I said, “is actually really good advice. I will take it, and I will also try some of that pie now, thank you.”

Smiling, Dad pushed the plate across the table and I picked up my fork, suddenly ravenous.

This? This was good. The ache of losing Mom so quickly after finding her was still sharp in my chest, but next to the pain were the good memories, too. Talking to her for hours in the garden. Hearing her laughter, seeing her smile.

Just
being
with her.

I’d been given a second chance. However brief it was, I would focus on the good and treasure it forever. For years I thought Mom hadn’t cared, but now I knew the truth:

Mom loved me.

And I would never, ever forget how that made me feel.