The Shadow Wolf (15 page)

Her heart turned over at his immense loyalty. She dreaded the answer. “What did you have to promise in return, Gabriel?”

“No reason to worry,
chère.
It'll never come to pass.”

He came to the bed, sat and tossed his hat aside. Gabriel gathered her hands into his, stroking his thumbs over her palms. “
Je connais pas quel…
there I go again, speaking French.”

A wry smile tugged his mouth. “I don't know what the future holds, Megan. You know what I am. I'm a beast. I've tried to control it, learned discipline. But sometimes, it gets the best of me. I learned when I was little that I've always been different, and even Draicon close to you don't like different.”

She slipped into his mind. Hurt and confusion filling the little boy's dark eyes as he sat on the front porch steps. His parents driving away in a carriage with his brothers, laughing while Gabriel was left behind.

Why not me, Papa?

Megan pulled away. She swallowed hard past the tears burning her throat. She mustn't show pity.

“Did I ever tell you about the tiger I invented when I was young? Before my island became a prison?” she asked.

Gabriel shook his head.

“There were no other Shadows my age. The Draicon children visiting on the island, they made fun of me. I had no friends, so I invented this invisible tiger. I taught him to swim, because there were lots of lovely fish to catch.

“Of course when I put the fish into the bedroom of the woman whose house I cleaned in exchange for rent for Gram and myself, I blamed the tiger. After all, he was invisible.”

“Did you get into trouble?”

Megan shook her head. “I told her it was Tiger's fault and he did it because she made me scrub the floor every day. The woman was a little scared, thinking a live, invisible tiger was prowling in her house. So I didn't have to scrub the floor every day. Just every other day.”

He laughed. “Good for you.”

“See, there are advantages to being different.”

Gabriel gave a small smile. “Thank you,
chère.
” His deep, quiet voice was filled with sincerity. He tweaked her nose. “For making me laugh again.”

He picked up her hands and turned them over. “Such strong yet delicate hands. Working so hard since you were a small girl. No playmates but a tiger.”

Emotions warred inside her. “I was so alone, Gabriel. I tried to act tough, as if it didn't matter. The other kids didn't like me because I could turn invisible.”

“Like me.” He kissed her fingers, one by one. “Except other kids wouldn't play with me because they sensed I was too dangerous.”

Intensity radiated in his dark gaze. “I won't ever go Feral on you, Megan. It's too dangerous. Trust me,
chère.
It's why I chose not to shift into wolf back at the service plaza.”

His kiss was tender, gentle.

But she wanted more. Sensing his savage hunger, she whispered to him. “Don't hold back on me, Gabriel. I can take what you want to give.”

The thud of boots falling to the hard floor, the rasp of his zipper sliding downward… Megan removed her own clothing with trembling hands.

His hands stroked over her skin slowly, with tenderness and possession. Her heightened senses took in the warmth of his skin, the masculine scent of him, the salty taste of his skin beneath her tongue as she licked his collarbone.

The deep timbre of his voice echoed in her ear. He slid a hand down her thigh then rolled over.

“Ride me, my little Shadow. Show me you aren't afraid of us achieving a mating lock and you receiving my powers.”

Desire was a harsh whip across her sensitive skin. Megan slid down on his throbbing erection. A low groan tore from his throat as she sheathed him. Bracing her hands on his muscular chest, she began to move. Slowly. Each exquisite motion wrung another emotion from him. Red flashed in his eyes. The beast.

She gave a small, sexy pout to mask the tiny anxiety. The mating lock would turn her into something as dark, dangerous as his beast.

Shuttering the thought, she concentrated on teasing her wolf. Drawing pleasure from each slow rise and fall of her hips. Gabriel wrapped his hands around her waist, pushing her upward. He let her have control.

For a few minutes more.

Then in an apt move, he flipped her over, spread her legs open wide and slammed into her. Each slap of his flesh against hers heightened the pleasure. He trailed his mouth over her neck, lightly licked her earlobe.

She moved against him, snarling in return as she tasted his salty skin. Gabriel never stopped his heavy thrusts as she nipped and marked him.

He leaned over, nuzzling her neck, and bit her on the sensitive juncture of her neck. She threw back her head and whimpered with pleasure. Wrapping her legs around him, she met his heavy thrusts as they tangled together. Megan screamed his name as she climaxed, followed by his hoarse shout.

When they collapsed back onto the bed, she kept a single thought guarded from him.

She wasn't afraid of the mating lock making them one, giving her his Feral powers.

She was terrified.

L
ying naked in bed, Megan snatched at the strawberry Gabriel dangled before her nose. He chuckled as he jerked it out of reach. The sheets tangled around his lean hips, he rested against the carved headboard. His dark, ragged hair was tousled after their savage bout of lovemaking. A bite mark on the strong muscles of his neck was evidence of her possession.

She stopped reaching for the strawberry, a different hunger pulling as she studied his long, lean torso. Wicked knowing gleamed in his gaze.

Gabriel dipped the strawberry in chocolate. A droplet fell onto her breast. Slowly, he licked it off. She shivered with pleasure.

“Let me see your tongue, and I'll reward you,” he promised.

Instead, she sat up and gave a sultry smile. Megan slid her hands along his chest, toyed with the flat brown circles of his nipples. Hard muscle lined his flat belly. Then she boldly yanked down the sheet. Hair marched from his deep chest to the indentation of his belly button, dipping into a line that ended with the thicker, black hair on his groin. His body was wiry, but wellsculpted. He radiated strength and danger.

His penis lay against his muscular thigh, twitching as if it sensed her intent.

“Maybe I'm tired of strawberries.”

Megan bent her head and slid her hands around his arousal.

She began to stroke and then dipped her finger into the chocolate, smearing it on the head.

Her mouth encased him. Megan swirled and sucked. Passion and feelings guided her past her inexperience.

Judging from the low groans, she wasn't doing too badly.

Beneath her, his body tightened. Gabriel fisted his hands in her hair and pulled her upright.

“Enough,” he gasped. “You will be the death of me,
ma petite chou.
”

He rolled her onto her stomach, nudged her legs apart with a knee. His firm palms settled on her hips. In this position she felt exposed and vulnerable and oddly free.

It was the traditional mating position for Draicon, she realized. The submissive female, leading the male to tangle in rough, wild sex.

“Lift your hips,” he commanded.

She braced herself on her hands, wriggled her bottom at him in a come-hither invitation.

I'm ready for this.

With that single thought, he made a sound low in his throat and pushed deep inside her. Megan gasped as his thick cock slid into her swollen, sensitive tissues. Gabriel gripped her hips and rocked against her. Each thrust made her claw the sheets. His deep groans of pleasure threaded with her excited cries.

They came together, in blinding, shattering pleasure.

After, she rested her head against his deep chest, listening to the reassuring beat of his heart. He stroked her hair, rubbing the strands between his thumb and forefinger.

“How could your family be frightened of you? I could never be frightened of you.” She snuggled against him.

He went still, his deep voice ominous. “Don't be so certain,
ma petite chou.
Life has a way of delivering unexpected, cruel surprises when we make such bold assertions.”

Idly she stroked over the inked mark on his muscled bicep. “What is this?”

Gabriel stiffened. “My heritage.”

He rolled out of bed and stood, giving a luxurious stretch. Hugging her knees, Megan sat up. Thick muscle corded his long, lean body. She had known every pleasure of that body as it plunged into hers over and over.

Her hungry gaze roved over the bulging biceps, the hard stomach and the long, thick length of his penis dangling between his legs. Gabriel caught her staring.

What an animal.

Megan sensed him catching her thought, like a child's palm encasing a floating dandelion fluff. She saw him flinch and felt a forlorn sense of sorrow.

In bed,
she added.

A wicked smile replaced the wary look. She thought of how wild and untamed he'd been and the passion they'd shared. Suddenly her lower belly grew taut with yearning and heat suffused her entire body. Sweet pressure built between her legs as if someone were licking…

There.
She bit back a low moan as the pressure intensified. He was toying with her mind, wickedly making her brain imagine his mouth was…

A scream fled her as she climaxed. Megan collapsed against the pillows, her body trembling from the sensual onslaught.

“How, you…” She felt dazed and well-loved. “You're a bad boy.”

“A good bad boy.” Gabriel grinned, ran a hand through his hair. “My Megan.”

His voice was deep and sexy. The kiss he dropped on her cheek was tame, but the look in his amber eyes was not. “My wild little beast.”

For a moment, he remained on the bed, quietly stroking her hair. Peace settled over his face. He looked happy. Her heart did
a little jump. She was falling for him, hard and fast. And finally, he'd shared himself and there was hope that maybe, just maybe, he would keep doing so.

From his being inside her mind, all his guards dropped. Megan felt his intimate thoughts, and shock pummeled through her. She drew back.

“Gabriel, you weren't telling me the truth because you wanted to. You told me you're a Trans-Feral because Tristan threatened you.”

His chocolate gaze went hard and flat as he withdrew his hand. “Yes.”

Gabriel hadn't chosen to share himself with her. He'd been forced into it. Disappointment surged through her.

“I thought you wanted to be close with me.” She bit her lip. “All of me, not just the physical closeness. And you were holding back all this time. Why, Gabriel? Why couldn't you tell me the whole truth?”

A muscle ticked in his hard jaw. “Megan, I never meant to hurt your feelings. But it's your turn for the truth now. Had I told you about my Trans-Feral nature earlier, would you have stayed? Or turned and run with the twins because you were too scared?”

His mouth a thin slash, he placed a hand on her neck as he sat on the bed. Warm breath feathered over her cheek as he whispered hotly into her ear.

“Would you truly like,
chère,
to see what I am? How dangerous my kind are? How we can kill without thought?” Gabriel took her earlobe between his teeth and nipped gently.

She thought of how he'd dispatched the Morphs, as easily as dusting off his hands.

“I don't know. Honestly. I probably would have been scared.” Pulse racing, she studied her lover. “But you said before that you wouldn't hurt me. I have trust in that, Gabriel, more than I have in the brick fortress you put up around yourself so you can
keep me out. You think to hide yourself from me, like I hide in Shadow. You're not a violent person. You do whatever you must to protect and defend your own. In that way, you're as transparent as glass.”

“Glass can shatter, and injure people. That's what I do.”

A steel barrier closed around his mind as rigid as the hurricane shutters he'd used to protect his cottage. Gabriel pulled away.

A heartbeat of silence. “Do you share all of yourself with me, Megan? Everything?”

Memories flashed; the red-eyed beast stalking her dreams. “Everything important.”

“And yet you won't tell me of your nightmares.”

Shame mingled with old terrors. “It's complicated.”

“I see.” He slid out of bed, pulled on his jeans. “I need to check on the girls.”

Something inside her snapped. “Don't shut me out. I'm tired of living in Shadow and everyone treating me as if I'm invisible even when I'm not.”

Megan stood, feeling vulnerable in her nudity, but refusing to cover herself. Her voice dropped to a raw whisper. “My nightmares aren't important. What is important is where I stand with you, and knowing you trust me enough to share yourself. Why can't you open to me, Gabriel? I'd never betray you.”

The black felt cowboy hat he slid on blocked his eyes, his soul, from her view. Megan did not say anything, but waited. Please, she thought with her whole heart.

Then he turned away, thumbs hooked through the belt loops of his faded jeans. “Don't ask this of me, Megan. I can't.”

Her opened arms fell to her sides like lead weights. Megan took one physical step back, and ten emotional steps. “Go check on the girls. I'll be down soon.”

When he left, she fisted her hands to hold the tears in check.
Mustn't let anyone know. Tristan and the girls would not suspect the bleak truth.

Gabriel was more of a Shadow than she ever would become.

She dressed, her movements slow and mechanical. Then suddenly she felt something warm and wet trickle down her cool cheek.

Megan flung herself facedown on the soft bed. She cried for the loss of a long-held dream.

For Gabriel, who could not turn to her in trust, and tell her what he felt deep inside.

She was alone.

More than she'd ever felt on the island. A Draicon Shadow with a bonded mate.

The door creaked open and Gabriel stepped inside. Hastily she wiped away the last of her tears. Pride made her greet him as if nothing were wrong.

Hands jammed into his pockets, he strode forward. His skin was stretched tight over taut cheekbones.

“I hate to see you so upset. It kills me inside.”

Sitting beside her, Gabriel kissed the corner of her mouth and drew her into his arms. Megan parted her lips beneath the insistent pressure of his, sighing as his tongue swept into her mouth. Then she yanked back, holding out her hands like a stop sign.

“This isn't the answer, Gabriel. I want all of you. I've been alone so long, dreaming of the one who could set me free. Someone who would accept me for everything I am, and would let me inside his world, as well.”

Her voice trembled. “I've wanted to give you my trust and my hope. But you keep shoving me away, just like they did on the island, only they did it out of ignorance and fear.”

His thumbs gently wiped away the tears spilling out of the corners of her eyes. “I want to start over again. Begin a new life, with you. I can't promise anything but to try.”

“It's all I ask, Gabriel.”

He tipped up her chin so she could look him straight in the eye. “You deserve everything good to come your way. I've never met a female more kindhearted or strong. You will be free, Megan. No more hiding in the shadows.”

She dared to press further. “Why didn't you trust me before to tell me about what you really are?”

“This isn't easy. I want you to trust me, Megan, and believe in me, so I'll take the gamble.” He removed his hat. “I didn't want to tell you about my being a Trans-Feral before because I was afraid.”

“Afraid of trusting me with the knowledge?”

“Afraid of your reaction. Anyone who knows what I am has never reacted…ah, favorably.” A twisted grin touched his mouth. “More like they act as if I'm Hell's spawn come to earth. I didn't want to see it in your face, see what I've seen in others.”

“What is it, Gabriel?” She kept her voice low and soothing.

“Damn this is hard.” He scrubbed a hand over the bristles on his jaw. Gabriel sat down. The honest plea in his dark gaze floored her. “I just, I want…”

“Tell me,” she urged.

“Can you promise me that you will trust me utterly? With your life if I should ever change and become fully Trans-Feral?”

“I trust you.”

“Promise, Megan. Promise me you won't call me a monster.” His voice dropped. “I don't think I could bear it, knowing my bonded mate thought I was one when all my life I've tried to convince myself I'm not.”

She seized his hands into hers. “I promise.”

“I didn't tell you before because I was afraid of your reaction. Afraid you'd act like someone else had.”

The pain radiating from him was so intense, she felt an actual ache in her chest. Megan laced her fingers through his. “Please, tell me, Gabriel.”

But he couldn't look her in the eye. “I'll show you instead. Close your eyes.”

As she did, a series of images unfolded in her mind: a tall, voluptuous brunette, laughing and walking with Gabriel. Megan felt his absolute adoration, heard his thoughts. He was nineteen and Tamara was the one. Everything pointed to it, even though she was his first lover.

The chemistry was right, the sex amazing. He was certain he'd found his destined mate. Nothing could go wrong. Everything had.

A Morph attacked her. By the time Gabriel reached her, he was crazy with fear and Tamara was successfully fighting off the Morph. But infuriated and needing to prove his manhood, he shifted.

“Your eyes, oh Gabriel, what's happening with your eyes?!” Tamara screamed.

Now Megan saw through Gabriel's eyes, felt his rage and his fear for his lover as he became Trans-Feral. And then after he'd killed the Morph, his love backed away with horror in her eyes, throwing out her hands.

“Stay away from me, you monster!” Tamara shouted.

Megan's heart sank as she watched a lonely Gabriel walk away in human form. Tamara screaming about telling her parents about the dangerous Trans-Feral, and how he should be locked away in a demon prison.

A saddened Gabriel forced to erase all memories of himself and their relationship from Tamara's mind.

Megan's eyes opened to see Gabriel quietly regarding her. She took his face into her hands and kissed him tenderly. “I'm so sorry,” she breathed against his mouth. “If I could, I'd erase your past. How could she do such a thing when you were only protecting her?”

Gabriel ran a finger down her cheek. “Fear. Tamara didn't know what I was. I never warned her. But now you know. Don't
ever be afraid of me, Megan. I'd never hurt you, no matter what I was. It's bred into my blood and bones to protect you to my dying breath.”

“I'd trust in that even if you shifted into a Trans-Feral.”

He gave a sad smile. “I hope so. I hope it never comes down to that.”