The Sheriff's Son (10 page)

His nostrils flared. “Is that what you think?”

“It's what I know.”

Roy had never meant to get into this with Justine. But one word had led to another, and now he was boiling at her unfair assumptions. “You don't know anything.”

“Let me go,” she told him through gritted teeth. “I've got to check on Charlie.”

“Charlie is fine. I can see him from here. So there's no need to use him for an excuse to get away from me.”

She twisted her chin away from his grasp. “I don't have to have an excuse to get away from you!”

Before she could step past him, he grabbed her by both shoulders. “I didn't ask you over here for this, but by heaven, you're going to get it anyway,” he growled.

Justine quickly brought her hands up to ward him off. Marble's reins slipped from her grasp, but the horse didn't seem to notice or care. He stood obediently by his master, but Justine was quite another matter. She whacked her fist against the middle of his chest.

“Don't you kiss me! Don't you dare!”

His mouth spread into a sneering smile. “What are you afraid of? Afraid you might like it?”

A short, caustic laugh rolled past her lips. “Don't kid yourself. You could never make me like it!”

The smile on his face deepened, and his eyes were suddenly lit with inner fire. “I take that as a challenge, Justine.”

“Roy—”

Her voice faltered as his lips hovered over hers. “No woman has ever said my name like you. Say it again.”

He should be asking, not commanding. And she should be telling him to go to hell. But she couldn't. Because, incredibly, somewhere in the growl of his voice, she heard a need in him.

“Roy,” she whispered.

As soon as the word was out, his mouth crushed hers. Justine's earlier bravado instantly dissolved into flames as the hungry pressure of his mouth melted all her resistance. With a little moan, she leaned into him and wound her arms around his lean waist.

Roy's arms slipped around her and drew her closer to him. His fingers tangled in the russet-colored tresses lying against her back.

In only a matter of moments, raw desire was surging through him, begging him to forget the pain and humiliation she'd caused him six years ago. His body wanted to make love to her, even though his mind kept telling him he was a crazy fool.

In the end, it was Justine who ended the war being waged inside him. She jerked out of his embrace and turned her back on him.

“You just had to do that, didn't you?”

Her voice was shaky, and her shoulders were visibly trembling. A few moments ago, when she goaded him into kissing her, he'd wanted to show her, prove to her, that he
could make her feel, make her hurt for him the same way he'd hurt for her after she went away.

But now he didn't feel a bit proud of himself. He just felt an empty, hollow ache deep in his heart

“I'm sorry, Justine.”

Strangely enough, Justine didn't want an apology from him. She wasn't sure what she wanted from him. “Sorry for what?”

“Sorry that I kissed you. That you didn't like it. That I liked it too much.” He scuffed the ground with the toe of his boot. “Hell, I don't know anymore, Justine. I just know, for some reason you make me act crazy.”

Sighing, she wiped her tangled hair away from her cheeks and turned to face him. “You said you didn't invite me over here to seduce me,” she said. “If that's true, then why did you invite me and my son?”

Justine had always been a frank woman. In the past, she'd never hesitated to speak her mind, whether he approved or not. But now her blunt question caught him off guard.

“I—” His face full of frustration, he shook his head. “I told you, I wanted to show Charlie the horses. Does there have to be another reason, Justine?”

She grimaced. “I've never known you to entertain a child.”

Frowning, he snatched up Marble's reins. “Whether you believe it or not, I like your son. He's the first child I've ever really felt drawn to. Maybe that's because you and I were once close. Or maybe it's simply because he's an endearing little boy. Take your pick as to why. But don't read too much into this little outing today. I'm not interested in getting involved with any woman. Even you.”

Even if Justine had known what to say to him, she wouldn't have had the chance to open her mouth. Roy turned abruptly and led Marble out of the barn.

She stared after him, his words rolling through her mind.
He's the first child I've ever really felt drawn to.
Could it be that Roy instinctively felt a connection with Charlie because they were actually father and son? she wondered. If so, how long would it be before he began to see all the things in Charlie that mirrored him? How long would it be before he discovered the truth—and hated her for it?

I
f Justine had any sense at all, she would go pluck Charlie off Brown Sugar, march him and herself to the truck and hightail it back to the Bar M. She and Charlie had survived for five years without Roy. They didn't need him now. And he obviously didn't need anybody but himself.

Her face set with determination, she tied the bay to a nearby post and headed out of the barn. Where Roy was concerned, she'd been stupid six years ago. But she was smarter now, she told herself.

Her stride long and purposeful, she walked out of the dimly lit interior of the barn into the sunny corral. Then her steps faltered. Across the pen, Roy was standing beside the painted mare, his hand resting fondly on the toe of Charlie's boot as he looked up at her son. Their son.

Charlie was grinning from ear to ear, and the happiness on her child's face suddenly wiped away her resolution to leave. Maybe Roy did bring out the worst in her, but he obviously made Charlie happy. And knowing that, she couldn't selfishly deny him time with his father. Especially
when Charlie needed a male influence in his life. He missed his grandfather.

“Hi, Mommy!” Charlie called to her, and waved.

She smiled and waved back at him, then walked over to the two of them. “You look like you're having a good time,” she said to her son.

“I am! Brown Sugar is really great! She does everything I tell her to. And she doesn't keep walking when I say, ‘Whoa.' See how still she's standing?”

Justine nodded, then turned her eyes to Roy. She supposed she should be feeling uncomfortable to face him, after the passionate way she'd returned his kiss in the barn and the heated exchange they'd shared afterward. But she wasn't. Too much had already passed between them for her to be embarrassed.

“Yes, I see,” she answered Charlie's question. “Roy must have trained her well.”

“He sure did!” Charlie agreed. “She's not a bit spoiled, like Thundercloud!”

Her eyes still on Roy, she said, “Roy doesn't believe in spoiling anything, so that means you better mind him when he tells you to do something.”

“I will,” Charlie promised.

He nudged Brown Sugar's side, and the horse and boy moved away from the two adults. Once he was out of earshot, Roy turned to Justine. “Why did you say I don't believe in spoiling? You couldn't have known that about me. Or were you just trying to make Charlie believe I'm mean and crotchety?”

Her brows arched as she studied his face. “You don't spoil people or animals, do you?”

He grimaced. “No. But—”

“Then why does it bother you to hear it spoken aloud?”

“I'm not a hard man, Justine.”

Her soft laugh was full of disbelief. “Who are you trying
to fool, Roy Pardee? You haven't got a soft spot in your body. You're hard through and through.”

“Is there something wrong with that?”

Shrugging, she turned her eyes on Charlie as he walked the horse slowly around the edge of the corral. “If you're happy, then I guess there isn't a thing wrong with it.” She glanced back at him. “Are you going to saddle the bay so we can get started?”

“You're still going riding?”

The surprise on his face curved her lips into an amused smile. “You didn't think one little kiss from you would send me running back home, did you?”

This was the Justine he used to know, Roy thought. The sassy redhead who could turn him inside out with just one look. This Justine was far more dangerous to him than the ice goddess she'd tried to be these past few times he was in her company.

“I never know about you, Justine.”

She slanted him a wry, daring look. “Good. I don't want you to know about me,” she said. Then, with a shrug, she added, “Besides, this little outing doesn't mean anything. You told me so yourself.”

She was goading him, and maybe that should make him angry. But Roy had never liked cowering, submissive women. He supposed that was why Justine's fire had always appealed to him.

“I'll go saddle the bay,” he muttered.

She smiled at him. “We'll be waiting.”

A few minutes later, Roy guided the three of them south of the house, across the river and into the hills. The horses followed a well-worn cattle trail that wound through the sage and cactus and piñon. Choya was beginning to bloom, deep pink, yellow and red, and now and then a prickly pear offered its roses for view.

The beauty of the land quickly relaxed Justine, and she gazed around the Pardee spread with keen interest. At first
glance, it appeared to be barren of grass, but on closer inspection she could see patches of it hidden between the tufts of sagebrush. Even though the grass was sparse, she, like anyone who raised cattle or horses in New Mexico, knew it possessed a high amount of protein.

The three of them had ridden a little more than a mile when Justine spotted a herd of cattle in the distance. The mixed breeds were milling around a water tank that was supplied by a windmill pump.

A few yards in front of her and Charlie, Roy twisted around in his saddle. “We'll ride to the water tank,” he told Justine. “Or are you getting too tired?”

His consideration both touched and surprised her. She hadn't expected her comfort to cross his mind. “I'm fine, and Marble seems fine.”

Roy looked at the boy. “How about you, Charlie? Ready to stop?”

“No, sir!”

“Okay. We'll go on to the water tank and let the horses drink, then take a different trail back to the house.”

Several minutes later, they reached the cattle. The herd hardly noticed their presence. Roy had to yell out a few yips and wave his arm to clear the three of them a path to the watering tank.

Once there, Roy dismounted, then lifted Charlie out of the saddle. Justine also slid to the ground, and led Marble up to the cool water. Roy and Charlie brought their mounts up beside hers.

“You have a beautiful ranch, Roy,” Justine told him as they waited for the three horses to get their fill of water. “How much farther south does it go?”

“Oh, about five more miles, I'd say. The Pardee is big. But not nearly as big as the Bar M.”

Lifting her hand to shade her eyes, Justine surveyed the far horizon. She loved this desert land, and was constantly awed by is tough beauty.

“It might not be as big, but I'm sure it's more solvent.”

Roy looked at her sharply. “What are you saying? That the Bar M is in financial trouble?”

Justine made a dismissive gesture with her hand. “It's not exactly in trouble,” she said, wishing she'd kept her thoughts to herself. She, and her family, didn't necessarily want anyone to know about their financial woes. “Things have been a little strained since Daddy died, that's all. Of course, it sure would help if the cattle market would come out of its slump.”

“If prices stay this low for very long, the little fellows will be forced out of business,” he agreed. “But you Murdock sisters aren't a little operation. You'll make it.”

Justine appreciated his confidence, but she wasn't so certain herself. She knew Rose was definitely unsettled by the Bar M's lack of working funds.

The ride back to the ranch took nearly an hour. By that time, Justine was beginning to get saddle-sore.

“Your walk appears to be a little stiff,” Roy remarked to Justine as they left the corrals and headed to the house.

“I don't ride every day, like my sisters and Charlie do,” she said, then smiled at the sight of her son loping far ahead of them. “Look at him. He had enough energy to go another five miles.”

“I'll bet he could go that far and more,” Roy agreed, then slanted her a glance. “I don't guess you've ever regretted having him? I mean, even though you've had to raise him all alone?”

Justine kept her gaze firmly on Charlie. “There was no anguished choice for me when I discovered I was pregnant,” she told him truthfully. “I knew I wanted him or her. I loved my child before it was born, and now…well, Charlie is everything to me.”

Like a lance thrown by an angry hand, jealousy tore a hole through Roy's chest. He knew it was foolish to feel that way, but he couldn't seem to stop the evil green emotion
from spreading through him. Over and over through the years, he'd found himself wishing that it had been Justine, instead of Marla, who came to him with the news that she was pregnant with his child.

And now that Justine had returned home and he'd met Charlie, he wished it a thousand times more. Yet he couldn't change the past. He had to think about the future.

This morning, before their ride, he'd told Justine that his invitation was prompted solely by his wish for Charlie to see the paints. But that hadn't been entirely true. He might as well admit it to himself.

For the past several months, Roy had been feeling flat, although he didn't know why. He served the county as sheriff and then he came home and took care of the ranching chores. He had plenty of things to keep him busy and his mind occupied. But in spite of that, he'd been thinking, brooding, wondering if there was supposed to be more to life than what he had.

Then he'd been called to the Bar M and Justine had opened the door. The moment he saw her, it had been as though scales had fallen from his eyes. Everything around him had seemed sharper, more vibrant. He'd felt more alive than he had in months. She did that to him. She was like a light in the darkness.

“Justine?”

“Yes.”

“This morning, when you questioned me about asking you over here today, I…well, the answer I gave you wasn't entirely honest.”

Her heart beating fast, she turned her head to look at him.

“No?”

The twist of his lips was full of self-disgust “As you've probably already guessed, I'm not a sociable sort of guy. My work keeps me pretty busy.”

“I'm sure it does.”

“I don't get to…have much company. There's never anyone around that I can just talk to about things that have nothing to do with the law. I guess I just wanted someone to talk to.”

More than anything Roy had ever said to her, these words shook her, turned her insides to warm mush. “And you wanted that someone to be me?”

The dismay in her voice put a wry smile on his face. “Why should that surprise you? We've known each other a long time, and I consider you a friend.”

Perhaps Justine should have been insulted that he considered her a friend, rather than an old flame. But she wasn't. A friend was special. And whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not, that was what she wanted to be to Roy. Special.

Justine and Roy had reached the yard. Charlie came racing from the front of the house to join up with the two adults.

“When are we gonna eat?” he asked.

“Eat? Charlie, you're not supposed to invite yourself to eat at someone else's house,” Justine gently scolded him.

“But we need to have a cookout,” he explained. “That's what cowboys do when they get back from a long ride.”

Roy laughed while Justine groaned.

“He's been watching too much of that western channel,” she said.

Snagging his thumbs over the waistband of his jeans, Charlie rocked back on his heels and looked up at Roy. “Do you know what a cookout is?”

Roy pretended to mull over Charlie's question. “I think I do. I don't have a chuck wagon, though. But I have a grill, and plenty of mesquite.”

“Do you have steak and beans?” Charlie asked.

Roy chuckled. “I might find steaks in the freezer and a can of pintos in the cupboard. Can you help me get the fire going?”

Charlie literally bounced on his toes. “I sure can!”

Justine quickly spoke up before the two of them could make more plans. “Oh, we'll not be staying to eat, Roy. We need to be getting home. I have a jillion things to do, and Kitty might be needing help with the twins.”

He guided her up a short set of steps and onto a redwood deck. “You two have to eat sometime, and so do I. It wouldn't be very hospitable of me to allow you to go home hungry.”

When Justine drove over here this morning, she'd expected to stay for only a few short minutes and then be gone. Taking a long horseback ride, then sharing a meal with Roy, was the last thing she'd planned on doing today. But what the heck, she decided. For once, the man was being more like the Roy she used to know, and she couldn't resist spending a bit more time with him.

“Well, I suppose Charlie and I could help you scrape something together,” she told him.

They entered the house, and Justine quickly ushered Charlie to the bathroom, where she ordered him to wash. Once he was finished and out of the small room, she used the facilities herself, then went back to the kitchen to see if there was anything she could do to help Roy with the meal.

She found the room empty. However, there were three steaks thawing in the microwave and two cans of beans sitting on the cabinet counter. He obviously intended to give Charlie the meal he wanted.

Deciding that for the moment there was nothing for her to do in the kitchen, Justine started to the back door, then stopped when she heard Roy and Charlie's voices on the deck.

Peering through the screen, she could see the two of them filling a grill with mesquite chips.

“That's enough,” Roy said as he eyed the measure of wood.

Grinning impishly, Charlie added one more to the pile, and for a moment Justine thought he might scold their son. As she'd said earlier, in the barn, Roy wasn't softhearted enough to spoil.

But to Justine's surprise, Roy chuckled and ruffled the top of Charlie's head. “All right. One more. But no more. Do you want to squirt the lighter fluid on the wood?”

“Yeah!” Charlie exclaimed. “Can I put the match on it, too?”

Roy shook his head. “No. You're going to stand far back when I do that. Understand?”

Not the least bit disappointed, Charlie nodded. “Yes, sir! I'll get back, ‘cause I don't want my eyelashes singed.”