The Shifter's Choice (20 page)

Mac is my captain. Couldn’t leave him to fight alone.

He could see from her expression that she wasn’t buying it. It was the truth, but only part of the truth. He might have done it anyway, but it was the image of Sonia in trouble that made it easy to push that plunger.

“Maybe in time they’ll think of something they can do to change you back,” she said, her words raw as her anguish.

He shrugged.
No going back.

She grasped his hand in a fierce grip and sat at his bedside. “It doesn’t matter, Johnny. I love you and I’ll wait. I’ll wait forever if I have to. I just want to stay with you.”

No, she wouldn’t because he was not letting her throw her life away on a man who would never be a man. She was going to serve her time and get out, like she planned. She was going to get herself that house she always wanted, the one with the rope swing and a yard. And she was going to fill it up with children. Sonia was going to be a mother, and have a family who loved her because she deserved that.

You have transfer orders,
he reminded her.

Her grip faltered. “But I’ll ask to stay. I don’t want to transfer. I want to stay here with you.” Sonia looked to her captain. “He needs a translator again.”

Johnny met Mac’s eyes and shook his head. Mac understood. He wanted her out of here.

“We’ll talk about it at another time,” said Mac.

Sonia turned back to Johnny. “This is because of you. You tell them the truth, John Lam. You tell them that you love me and that I love you. We were meant to be together.”

He made the sign for
finish,
shaking both hands. The signal was clear. It was over between them. Only this time she did not look devastated. She looked pissed.

“You’re hurting. I understand that, but I’m staying. It will be all right.”

Mac took Sonia’s arm and tried to bring her to her feet. “Come on, Touma. Another time. He needs rest.”

“No.” She jerked her arm free and fell back across him, clinging now. “You fought for me. Now I’m fighting for you. You love me. Tell them, Johnny. Tell them you love me, too.”

She was breaking his heart. Johnny looked away to gather his nerve. In a moment she’d be sorry she ever taught him to sign. He turned to face her and formed his words with care.

Love you? You are the reason I am a wolf again. If not for you, B-R-I-A-N-N-A could have escaped and I wouldn’t have had to come after you both. This is your fault. I want you gone.

Sonia gasped, releasing him as she staggered back from his bedside as his words slashed like a straight razor across her heart.

“Johnny?” she gasped.

“What did he say?” asked Brianna.

Johnny pointed to the door.

“He said it’s my fault. The whole thing,” Sonia whispered. “And he’s right.”

* * *

Johnny watched in relief as Sonia darted toward the door. Brianna reached to stop Sonia and then let her pass.

Zharov entered the room studying a chart and then belatedly noticed the crowd circling his patient’s bed. He saluted the major. “He’s as he was. Same exactly, except he has less of the human proteins than he had before this second injection.” He looked at Johnny. “It was too much. The count was half your levels after Afghanistan.”

Johnny shrugged. What did it matter? He knew the price. He would pay it. But what he wouldn’t do was let Sonia throw away her future waiting around for his shaggy ass. He didn’t have much left but his pride and that was still dear to him.

Brianna stepped to the end of the bed. “I had a talk with one of the chasers. A vampire named Hagan Dowling. He told me that werewolves are made, not born.”

Johnny knew that very well because Burne Farrell has said the same thing to Mac.

“He also told me that all werewolves can change form at will.”

“Clearly not,” said Zharov, pointing at Johnny.

“Why were you speaking to them about this or anything else?” asked Mac.

She smiled at her husband. “Because they thought carrying Sonia was slowing them down and they wanted to kill her. My questions kept them from doing that.”

Johnny’s stomach dropped as he recognized how close he’d been to losing Sonia forever.

“Hagan also said that werewolves are made only by a bite and only in the very rare circumstance when the inflicted wounds are not fatal. Most werewolves attack to kill,” said Brianna. She stroked her husband’s chest and Johnny knew that was the place that Mac bore the scars of his attack. Somehow he had survived, but he was the only one. “I don’t think you were bitten, Johnny.”

He had arrived at the same conclusion.

Zharov interjected here. “I’ve searched his body and found no scars. All evidence points to the same conclusion to which you have arrived, Mrs. MacConnelly. Johnny was made intentionally by the U.S. Marine Corp.”

“No, sir,” said Mac. “He was made by an embarrassment to the uniform, former Colonel Lewis, may he rot in hell.”

The major chimed in. “He will, son. No doubt about that.”

Zharov pressed the tip of his pen to his lower lip. “I’ve already opened this avenue. I’ve been using infected rats to bite normal rats. The delivery method is more effective and all rats can transform.”

Johnny had a moment’s flare of hope. Could that work—a bite?

“I’ll be exploring this method on rabbits, canines and monkeys over the next three months.”

The hope winked out and he groaned.

Zharov ignored him and continued. “But for now, everyone out. Lam needs rest. It’s very late and we have more tests tomorrow.”

Tests and tests and tests,
thought Johnny. He was tired of waiting and of Zharov’s methodical, tedious research.

The major motioned to the door and Brianna swept out, followed by his doctor. Mac tried to follow but Johnny made a sound in his throat and motioned him back. Mac told his wife he’d be right along. Brianna hesitated and then nodded and withdrew.

“Be careful,” she said.

Johnny stared at Mac wondering if he’d do it.

“You want me to bite you, don’t you?” asked Mac.

Johnny nodded.

“Damn if this doesn’t work we are both fucked.”

Johnny waited as Mac disrobed down to his boxers.

“Where?” asked Mac.

Johnny threw back the sheets and pointed to the thick musculature of his thigh.

“You sure about this?”

He nodded. Johnny didn’t have to remind him that he’d just saved his ass and helped rescue Mac’s wife. Mac knew he owed him. He was ready to pay up.

“You believe that I never bit you?” asked Mac, his voice a tight whisper.

Johnny knew the burden the captain has born, thinking all this time that he’d attacked his own man.

Johnny nodded. Then he bared his teeth and made a pantomime of a vicious bite.

“Okay, deep. I get it. Grab the call button and press it before I bite you.”

Johnny nodded, lifted the button and pressed down.

Chapter 17

S
onia got almost to the door when she realized she had done it again. She had let Johnny decide whether she came or went. She’d allowed him to sever the ties between them. Running again, she realized.

Sonia stopped and lowered her head as a certainty filled her. She didn’t want to wait out her service with the easiest, least challenging assignment possible and she certainly didn’t want a home if Johnny wasn’t in it. Suddenly she understood the meaning of what Brianna had said back there before the vampires attacked. Her cryptic words rolled through Sonia like a perfect breath of fresh air.

No matter where Travis is he is with me. My home is in his heart and his home is in mine. If you love Johnny than nothing can separate you. Certainly not this.

Now Sonia understood. Brianna was right. Johnny wasn’t tossing her aside. He was trying to protect her.

But she wasn’t going, because now she knew exactly what was missing from her life. It wasn’t a house and a yard. Not a wall she could paint or a garden to plant. It wasn’t a place at all. All this time what she wanted had been right here. She had been searching for Johnny. What was missing was the one person who made a place a home. That’s why she was so comfortable in Johnny’s bungalow. Not because of the view or the flowers, but because Johnny was there.
He
was her home.

And she
wasn’t
getting evicted because he was trying to protect her from living with the big bad wolf.

She spun in place and marched back the way she had come, her determination growing with each stride. The buzz of activity in the corridor outside Johnny’s room slowed her progress and brought a leaden lump of dread to her throat. She stared at a cart covered with blood soaked pads and bandages. Now her heart pounded in her throat as she saw Zharov exiting Johnny’s room, his head down as he removed the bloody blue rubber gloves and tossed them in the red biohazard container in the hall.

He lifted his gaze and spotted her. She did not recall setting in motion but she was suddenly there before him unable even to form the question.

“He’s a crazy man. You know that? They both are,” Zharov said. “Who else but a crazy man would do something so reckless. I could have MacConnelly arrested for attacking him and that’s just a start.”

“What? What happened?”

But Zharov merely thumbed over his shoulder and continued on his way muttering, “Should get disciplinary action at the very least. They have to follow orders with the rest of us.”

Sonia glanced toward the door, feeling her feet heavy as she crossed the threshold. She saw Mac buttoning his shirt as he glanced at her. Was that blood on his mouth?

“What’s happening?” she said, surprised to hear her voice coming from such a long way away.

Mac stepped aside giving her a view of Johnny’s hospital bed, which was empty save for the bare mattress and rumpled, bloody sheets. Her gaze flashed about and came to rest on the man standing just beyond. All the air whooshed from her lungs and she swayed, grasping the bed rail for support. She recognized him, even though his head was still sheathed inside a fresh white T-shirt. She’d know that abdomen anywhere. His muscles flexed and knotted under his healthy copper skin as he drew on the undershirt, covering his taut stomach. His head emerged a moment later from the neck hole, leaving his long hair mussed. She rounded the bed and hesitated as her gaze dropped to the bandage visible beneath his boxers. The thick gauze covered him from hip to knee and he carried all his weight on his uninjured leg.

Johnny was human again. He spotted her now and his eyes sparkled. “You’re here! I thought I’d have to run after you.”

She stood blinking at him in astonishment. “But they said... They said.”

Johnny waved a hand. “Doctors. They think they know everything.”

The confusion and relief battered Sonia like a stick to a piñata and she felt her bottom lip begin to tremble. Johnny limped over to her, gathering her up in his arms.

“I’m not leaving, Johnny. Don’t ask me to.”

“I won’t. Not ever again. I’m sorry for what I put you through.” He held her tight, his strong arms making everything seem all right.
Home,
she thought.
I’m finally home
.

Johnny shifted and did a funny hop, recalling his bandaged leg to her mind. She pulled back and looked at the enormous wrapping. “What happened?”

“Werewolf bite.” He grinned, seemingly delighted. “First time.”

Sonia gasped and her gaze flashed to Mac. Johnny drew Sonia under his arm and leaned heavily upon her as he held her tight to his side. “Seems you need a bite to be able to change shape.”

Her fingers gently grazed the bandage. “Does it hurt?”

“Like a son of a bitch, but I’ve never been happier. Besides, I’m a fast healer.”

“Might leave a scar,” said Mac. “Mine did.” He rubbed his shoulder.

“Small price,” said Johnny. “See you around.”

“Not sure you can go yet.”

Johnny and Mac shared a silent exchange.

“Dismissed then,” said Mac. “I know where to find you. Call if you need anything.”

“Driver,” said Johnny.

Mac made the call and Del met them out front. A few minutes later, Del had Johnny settled in his own bedroom.

Sonia walked Del out and then returned to Johnny.

Johnny sat on his bed and she stood in the gap between his legs, careful not to touch his bandage.

“I saw the blood at the hospital. Your blood,” she said. “Scared me to death.”

Johnny smiled. “It bled. Mac got the femoral artery. We had to be sure his spit got into my blood.”

Sonia scowled up at him. “You might have bled to death.”

Johnny shrugged. “Doc stitched it up. I’ll be healed by morning.”

“It’s already morning,” she said.

He wrapped his arms low behind her back and dragged her slowly forward. “So it is.”

“Johnny, I understand if you need time to recover. But I don’t want a transfer. I want to be with you.”

“Well that’s very good news because I’m in love with you.”

Her heart gave a funny little shudder and her eyes closed for just a moment as she felt the joy of those words rising like mist from a deep lake. Then she opened one eye and narrowed it at him.

“You said you
didn’t
love me,” her tone was accusatory.

“Tactics to encourage a retreat.”

She lowered her chin and gave him a smug smile. “Backfired, didn’t it?”

“Should have known.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because you are a marine. Marines run into trouble, not away from it.”

“Well this marine is done running. From now on I stay put. So what does that do to your tactics, Sergeant?”

“Ground conditions have changed. I have a new objective.”

“And what might that be?” She trailed a finger down his cheek and the strong column of his throat, becoming familiar again with his smooth skin.

“Getting you to spend the rest of your life with me.”

She tapped a finger to her lower lip as if thinking. “I might be willing to sign up for that tour of duty. Is there a signing bonus?”

He lifted his brow in speculation. “Might be.”

“Super. You know there are regulations against this.”

“And did you know I can get you honorably discharged?”

“What!”

“If you want to be discharged.”

She shook her head in bewilderment.

He tugged her closer and then stroked her cheek. “You don’t mind that I’m still half monster.”

She smiled. “No more monster than most men, less than some. And I like your wolf side.”

His shoulders sagged with relief. “And your home? You’d be willing to wait until I finish my tour of duty? It might be six years or more.”

Sonia used her hands to speak to him.
I love you. So I’ll follow you if I can and I’ll wait for you if I must because you are my home.

Johnny threaded his fingers in her hair and his mouth descended to brush hers. She relaxed into his kiss, feeling the rush of sweet desire and the rising ache of need. He eased her down beside him on the bed, kissing her in a hot rush of passion, taking and giving. He stroked her, as he trailed kisses over her most sensitive places. Sonia stretched back and let him touch her with greedy hands and a hungry mouth until her emotions blended with pulsing sensation. He knew her, this man who was part wolf; his instincts were as perfect as his timing. Her need quickly grew impossible to bear and he finished her with a bright burst of bliss that drove through her like a conquering army. This marine certainly knew how to capture and hold territory, she mused as her thoughts reengaged.

“That was wonderful,” she whispered, her body settling languid and replete.

He tucked her close beside him, her body half sprawled over his. Johnny flicked the sheet over their glistening bodies and she shut her eyes.

“When you first arrived,” he said. “I tried everything I could think of to get you to quit.”

“I almost did,” she murmured.

“Now, each day for the rest of my life I’m going to do everything I can think of to make you stay.”

“Everything?”

He nodded, his face suddenly serious. She stilled at his solemn expression losing her playful grin.

“What is it, John?”

“I love you. And I want to wake up beside you every damn day.”

She managed a smile as her eyes welled up. “I want that, too.”

John drew her down for another long, languid kiss. When she came up for air, his eyes were blazing with heat and her body hummed with need. She draped a leg over his waist and then straddled him.

Thirty minutes later she lay panting at his side and he lay motionless with one hand draped over his eyes. “I didn’t know you could ride like that,” he whispered.

“Save a horse, ride a marine,” she muttered, her words slurring as she drifted toward slumber.

“We need to get you a ring.”

“We need to get me some sleep.”

Johnny chuckled and closed his eyes.

* * *

Johnny did, indeed, heal quickly. The following day, Mac and Sonia watched as the bandages were changed. Sonia saw the wound had already closed and the scar tissue was raised and pink. The ghastly horseshoe shaped marks marred the otherwise perfect skin of his thigh on both the front and back of his leg.

“Does it hurt?” she asked.

Johnny grinned and she couldn’t help smiling back, he seemed so happy.

“Never felt better.”

Sonia left him so she could shower. When she returned it was to find he had shifted into his wolf form. Her initial panic was quickly allayed by his hurried signs. He’d changed intentionally, his first time and after reassuring her, he lifted her off the ground to spin her in a circle.

Mac insisted she leave the room while he shifted back which she did with reluctance. Ten minutes later she was readmitted to find John sweating and pale, but still in high spirits.

“You did it!” she said, elated.

Sonia rushed to his side arms open wide. She didn’t know who was more pleased that he now had control of his transformation, her, her captain or Johnny.

“He’ll get better at it,” said Captain MacConnelly, the relief evident on his tired face. “Just takes practice.”

She flanked Johnny’s bed and he scooped her up beside him for a celebratory kiss. The captain cleared his throat and Sonia tried to scramble off the bed, but Johnny refused to let her go.

“Touma, my office in thirty to discuss your reassignment.”

She went cold and then hot as she recalled her transfer orders. Suddenly the room did not seem to have enough air. Was he shipping her back to the mainland? Johnny lifted her chin so she looked back at him instead of at her captain’s retreating back.

He was signing, reassuring her. Still she wouldn’t be at ease until she heard what the captain had to say.

He told her that Johnny needed a translator once more and he needed to learn sign so that the two of them could better communicate in the field. The discovery by the vampires made it imperative that he quickly get his wife out of the Pacific. He and Johnny were shipping out to Germany in just one day and her orders were to accompany them.

The captain and Johnny would train for combat assignments while she acted as translator and taught them sign. When they were in the field she would accompany them as far as possible and in some circumstances she would watch by remote camera, translating their words to headquarters.

Sonia liked the assignment. The work was important. She would be near Johnny and she would be useful. The only concern she had was teaching Captain Travis MacConnelly because he still made her nervous.

What didn’t make her nervous was leaving the country and all that was familiar to her. She didn’t care where she was as long as Johnny was there, too. There would be separations, of course, but she would bear them because it was important to Johnny to “get back in the game” as he called it. She no longer wanted to serve out her time in a quiet backwater. She wanted to be with John Loc Lam.

The rest of the day was a hectic frenzy of preparations for departure. Her second ever flight was much more relaxing than her first as she no longer feared her future. Instead she anticipated it. She began speaking to the captain both verbally and with sign, just as she had done with Johnny.

Her quarters in Panzer Kaserne unfortunately looked nearly identical to her old ones. And Johnny no longer had his pretty little cottage on the mountain. He didn’t need one. But they both missed the privacy. Johnny missed it so much that he proposed after only a week in Germany. Sonia accepted both the proposal and the lovely white-gold engagement ring set with a single half-carat diamond.

* * *

Three months later, Johnny and Mac, as she now called him, had finished their training and received orders to return to the Sandbox. Sonia would be joining them as far as Kabul, Afghanistan. But before deployment there was one final bit of business to finish. And to accomplish it, Sonia left her uniform behind in favor of a lovely mermaid style lace wedding gown. Paperwork had been signed, exemptions made and approval received in triplicate. Sonia was cleared to marry Sergeant John Loc Lam.