The Shipmaster's Daughter (28 page)

It wasn’t difficult to find Sam’s Dresses. The tiny shop was wedged between a pub and another pub, sticking out like a cat in a dog race. He paused on the opposite side of the street. His heart had stopped racing. It had stopped beating altogether when he saw her through one of the front windows. She was standing beside an old man, laughing as she cut a piece of fabric. She looked happy and not out of place at all. He glanced toward Yellow Brook.

He could always tell Esther he couldn’t find Luciana.

He shook his head. Embarrassment or no embarrassment, he had promised Esther. He would keep his promise. He may humiliate himself in the process, but he would find a way to get Luciana to see her.

He took his first step toward the door. It was now or never.

Chapter 30

L
uciana stood on her tiptoes, desperately trying to shove a bolt of fabric onto a shelf. Unfortunately, her arms were a smidgen too short and they kept her from being able to slid the bolt into its place.

She motioned to Sam, careful not to take her eyes off of the bolt raised precariously above her head. “I don’t think I can reach the top shelf. Will you pass me the stool?”

A warm hand touched the small of her back. “Allow me.”

She froze, her entire body turning into ice. She would know that voice anywhere. She didn’t even have to look over her shoulder to know who it was.

Reed Hargrave.

Her stomach felt hollow and her knees weak. He reached above her head, his chest brushing against her back. With ease, he slid the bolt into its place and stepped back.

“Hello, sir. What can we do for you?” Sam was clueless, endearingly clueless. Bracing her hand against the shelf, Luciana shot him a wary look. He caught it and faltered. “You ain’t by any chance that Reed Hargrave, are you?” he asked slowly.

“The very one.” Reed sounded calm as always. Luciana couldn’t look at him. Her stomach was churning, threatening to bring up her breakfast. Of all the things she thought she’d be doing today, talking to Reed was not one of them.

“So you’re the bastard that–”

At this, Luciana forced herself to turn around. Her eyes flitted to Reed for the briefest of seconds. This time bile did rise in her throat. Still handsome, if not more so. Why had she thought he would loose his good looks while she was away?

“Sam, I think I heard Moo-Moo barking outside.” She jerked her head toward the door in what she was hoped was a discreet movement. Sam hesitated before shuffling away, grumbling under his breath.

She turned her eyes to Reed and swallowed hard. She didn’t know what to say. Her throat as unnaturally tight. She gave a little cough and opened her mouth, but he spoke first.

“Who is Moo-Moo?”

“Sam’s dog.”

He threw a cursory glance around the shop. “This is a fine establishment.”

She furrowed her brow, her hands fisting at her sides. Why was he here? Why did he insist on ruining what she had built for herself? She had a new life, one without him. Why was he here?

“Why are you here?” she asked. “If you’re here to shout at me, I don’t want to hear it. I’ve moved on, Reed.”

It wasn’t a total lie. She had moved on from her time at Yellow Brook, and she chose to think of only her fond memories of the house. She had even moved on from him. Time was her ally and took away her regret and anger, though it could never take away her love for him. Still, seeing him standing there, so calm and unaffected, made a burst of defensiveness surge through her.

“Esther is sick.” He didn’t even blink as he said it, but she saw his hands twitch at his sides and a bead of sweat form on his forehead.

Luciana’s frown dissipated as she walked around the table. She wrung her fingers together, concern swallowing the anger in her chest. “Sick? How sick?”

“It’s pneumonia.” This time his voice did waver. Luciana resisted the urge to take his hand. Oh the poor man. “The doctor says it’s not terrible and she’ll likely recover with time. She asked for you.”

“Doesn’t she hate me, too?” Luciana knew it was petty considering Esther’s circumstances, but the words flew from her mouth before she could stop them. At Reed’s upturned eyebrow, she wished she had kept her mouth shut.

He ignored the comment, though. “Will you come to see her?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

Reed sighed and looked away. “Rest assured that I will do nothing to purposefully make you feel uncomfortable.” He swallowed. “Esther wants to see you.”

Her chest constricted, If she were to be honest, she would tell him she wanted to see her, too. But the idea of being under the same roof with him—the very roof she had lived under—made her break out in a cold sweat. What if he hurt her again?

“Luciana? Will you come?”

Who was she to deny a sick girl her wish? She could set aside her worries for a few days. Reed would leave for London, more than likely, once they arrived at Yellow Brook. He wouldn’t want to be near her, anyway.

She gave him a short nod. “Of course.”

Yellow Brook was the same. Nothing had changed.

Dread filled her as Reed lead her toward Esther’s bedroom. She had grown to love Esther, despite her first reservations. Esther was wild and free. Everything Luciana wanted to be; everything she had become. During her time away, she missed her little friend and their hours working in the conservatory. If Esther were to die, she—

She shook the thought away when Reed opened Esther’s bedroom door. The window was open, filling the dank room with fresh air and light. Esther lay in bed, eyes turned toward the outside world. When she heard the door open, she looked over and a smile overtook her sallow face.

“Luciana,” she rasped. She lifted her arm and reached for Luciana.

Reed stepped aside and Luciana crossed the threshold. She glanced at him, her heart in her throat, her eyes watery. He motioned toward the bed. His eyes were softer than they had been on their walk from the shop to the house. They looked on her with worry and a question she couldn’t place. She moved to the edge of Esther’s bed and let the little girl take her hand. Her face was pale and dark circles lined her eyes. Every few moments she let go of a violent round of coughing.

“I knew you would come,” she whispered.

“How could I not? How do you feel, Esther?”

Esther shrugged. “Like a pile of horse droppings.”

“That’s not ladylike,” Reed said from behind Luciana, who couldn’t help but chuckle.

“It’s the truth.”

Esther began to cough so hard her face turned red and the muscles in her neck bulged. Reed rushed to the other side of the bed and poured her a glass of water. Luciana dropped Esther’s hands and covered her mouth. Tears flooded into her eyes as she watched Reed pour the water down Esther’s throat with a shaking hand. When Esther recovered, she fell against the pillows, her eyes fluttering shut.

“We should let her rest.”

Luciana looked over her shoulder and straightened her back when she saw how close Reed had come. He cocked his head toward the door and extended his hand. She took it but not before pressing a kiss to Esther’s forehead. His hand engulfed hers, but she felt secure in the midst of uncertainty.

“I’m glad you’re here, Luciana,” Esther whispered just as Reed opened the door.

Luciana smiled weakly. “I’m glad I’m here, too. You get some sleep now. We can visit later.” Esther nodded and closed her eyes.

In the hallway, both Luciana and Reed let go of deep, trembling sighs. He dropped her hand and rubbed his face.

“She looked so—so—” Luciana shook her head, wrapping her arms around her middle. She wouldn’t tell him Esther looked as fragile as a porcelain doll.

“So broken?”

She looked at him. His eyes were tired. His shoulders, normally erect, were slumped. He looked at her with eyes that harbored no ill feelings, only despair. Without thinking, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his back, pushing the side of her face against his chest. She could have sworn she felt his heart skip a beat.

For a long moment, he did nothing. He simply stood there with his arms at his sides. She thought he would remain that way, but she didn’t care. Her heart was worried and restless and she needed comfort. As he was the only one standing in hall, he would have to do. Whether he reciprocated the comfort or not was inconsequential. Then one arm wrapped around her shoulders, pushing her tighter against him, and the other hand fell onto the back of her head. She felt his fingers weave into his hair and his chin settle against the top of her head.

He sighed.

Her chin began to quiver. Her heart beat erratically.
Thump thump…thump…thump thump thump.
His arm tightened around her shoulder.

He shouldn’t be holding her this way. He should be yelling at her, looking at her like she was poison personified. Instead he was holding her as if he couldn’t let go. Her gut twisted. Had he forgiven her? Or did he just need as much comfort as she did?

She didn’t wait to find out. Pushing her hand against his chest, she untangled herself and stepped away. Wet tears she didn’t know had fallen warmed her cheeks. She brushed them away and kept her eyes focused on the wall across from her.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “That was–”

She caught his eyes and shook her head. “We’re both tired and—and worried.”
And I’m hopelessly in love.

“Are you hungry?”

“No, but
grazie
.”

“You are more than welcome to stay in your room. What I mean is, you can stay in the room you once had.” He motioned to the familiar door.

“Grazie.”
He turned to go. “Reed?”

“Yes?” When he turned around, the dead look in his eyes had turned into something close to hope. It made her squirm.

“Everything will be all right. Esther will get better.”

He could only give her a noncommittal grunt in response. Tears formed in his eyes and he rubbed at his forehead. Then he bowed at the waist.

“Until the morning, Luciana.”

She watched him walk away, a shadow of the man she once knew. “Goodnight, Reed,” she whispered before turning and locking herself in her room.

Everything was gone besides the original furniture. All of her personal effects she left behind were nowhere to be seen. Not that it mattered. They were trinkets, memories of the family that left her. But the one thing she left...

She rushed to the wardrobe and threw the doors open, held her breath, and then released it. Her mother’s dress hung by itself on a hook. She forgot it when she’d left and only remembered when she was halfway to Eastbourne. At that point, there was no going back. To see it hanging there, untouched and still smelling of her mother, flooded her with relief. She pulled it out and clutched it against her chest, falling down on the bed.

What on earth was happening? Why did she come back?

Staying in Yellow Brook was going to ruin everything she worked hard to build. She had pieced her life back together and Reed was threatening to destroy it. She knew it would be hell for her to leave him again, especially if Esther did die.

And why did he embrace her like that? Granted, she’d hugged him first, but he hugged her back and he held her tight and it made her want to cry. She
did
cry. He wouldn’t have hugged her if he hadn’t forgiven her. Right?

Groaning, Luciana rolled onto her stomach and pushed her face into the bed. If he had forgiven and forgot, shouldn’t she rejoice? Maybe they had a chance. Maybe they could...

She sat up and stared at herself in the mirror. Her face looked tired and pulled down. “Luciana, there is no chance whatsoever of you and Reed Hargrave becoming more than what you are now, which is nothing. He is still angry with you and only acted the way he did because he’s in pain. Besides, what need do you have for him? You have Sam and the shop. Husbands don’t like for their wives to work outside the home. It would never work.”

She was here for Esther and that was all. When she recovered—and the girl would recover—Luciana would leave. She would return to her job and life the life of freedom she deserved.

Chapter 31

T
he following days were filled with Luciana and Reed taking shifts by Esther’s side. She sat with the child during the day and Reed spent the night by her bed, but once in a while she offered to give up her sleep for an evening. Reed was always reluctant to agree and he would sit with Luciana, despite her protesting that he needed sleep too, and fall asleep in the rocking chair before the sun had completely set.

The doctor said Esther would get worse before she got better, and thus far, Esther had proved him correct. She slept more than anything, but in her sleep she coughed ferociously, gasping and wheezing for air by the time she was through. The coughing was painful to listen to and it tugged on Luciana’s heartstrings every time.

Reed was beside himself with worry. After the first day, he seemed to forget that she was present. From dawn till dusk, he buzzed around Esther’s room, fluffing her pillows one moment and reading to her from a book the next. He looked exhausted by the fourth day. Deep, dark circles swallowed his eyes. Worry lines creased his forehead. His hair was untamed and Luciana wasn’t altogether sure if he had bathed since she arrived.