The Shortstop (28 page)

He pulls on my hand and leads me around the table to his lap.

“I’ll hurt your leg.”

Ignoring me, he places me on his lap, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my neck. “I miss you so much.” While clutching me tightly, he repeats over and over, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

We sit for a very long time, clinging to each other and sobbing.

Quint

“Don’t leave,” I beg. “Just let me hold you. I’m not ready to let you go.”

When she lifts her head, her cheeks are tearstained. She places her hands on my face and leans in to kiss me. My fingers automatically grip the fabric of her shirt. It’s much more passionate than our last kiss. There’s a sense of urgency in the way her lips move over mine. There’s a desperation that fills me with so much emotion. This time, I’m the first to pull away. This isn’t about sex. She’s here with me and her love for me is what has her here, but her wounds are still raw. “Please, stay.”

“I’ll stay.” She removes herself from my lap and begins to clear the dishes.

I reach for her hand to stop her. “No, that can wait.”

With great difficulty, I continue to hold her hand while maneuvering myself toward the living room. I refuse to let her go, even for the few seconds it takes to reach the couch. She settles beside me, in the crook of my arm. We sit facing the balcony doors. The shimmering lights of the George Washington Bridge barely illuminate my living room. Her body tucked against mine feels like heaven. My arms are wrapped around her like a vine. Her heads rests above my heart. Its frantic beating must clue her in to my state of arousal, of excitement. A vision of her beautiful, naked body causes my cock to swell. Thoughts of carrying her to my bed and making slow, sweet love instigate my condition…but not tonight.

She asks me questions about my therapy. I ask her questions about her classes. We spend hours filling each other in on what we missed while apart. Some of her stories cause my heart to squeeze painfully with regret. My recounting of my first surgery and becoming addicted to pain meds causes her to sniffle with emotion. Except for occasionally wiping away her tears, she remains still as I explain my reasoning behind my addiction.

“They numbed me and made the pain temporarily go away.”

“Your leg went through so much trauma. It’s understandable that you needed relief from the pain.”

“It wasn’t just my leg that was hurting, Annie.” She looks up at me, and I gently place a kiss on her parted lips. “Every part of me was hurting. When you would visit me, when I knew I needed to push you away, that pain was unbearable. That is, until you actually did leave.”

She starts to cry again. I soothe her as best I can. “Baby, I’m not telling you this to upset you, or to remind you how much I hurt you. Trust me, I want you to forget that part. But I believe that you need to know what drove me to push you away so forcibly.”

“I know. I now understand. The part I am struggling with…” She stops and wipes away more tears. I wait a few seconds before prompting her to be honest. She shifts beside me so she can face me before she continues. “I felt, and I still feel, that I’m not enough for you. Quint, I know you love me. But you love baseball as much, if not more.” She nods when I shake my head in denial. “Yes, Q, you do. And that’s okay. Your love for the game has been such a huge part of you that losing it the way you did would naturally make you question everything you’ve worked so hard for.” She takes my hand in hers, staring at them before she adds, “I just worry that I won’t be enough to make you happy.”

“You’re wrong. Look at me.” I tug on our hands until she meets my gaze. “Annie, I was furious. Anger drove me every minute of every day. I’ll always miss baseball, but these past months I realized that I’ve survived without it. As I recovered, I thought less and less about my loss of the game and more and more about losing you. I justified my miserableness with your happiness. If you were happy, that’s all that mattered to me.

“When my mom had her heart attack, it scared the fuck out of me. Watching my dad broken and crushed was my wake-up call. It reminded me that I felt that way about you. I needed you, but I just forgot. I’ve made so many mistakes. I’m ashamed of the man I became. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

“The Quint I fell in love with is back. I know you were scared, and crushed, and broken. I’m not sure many would climb their way back up the way you did. I’m so proud of you.” She cups my jaw and pulls me closer. Her eyes travel over my face, taking in every part of me. When they focus on my eyes, I know she’s seeing right through to my soul. “Q, I forgive you.”

Her words open my floodgates. I hadn’t realized how badly I needed to hear them until this moment. She smiles through her tears as she wipes away mine. They cathartically release every ounce of pain I’ve been holding in. I drop my head into her lap, thanking her for her forgiveness, for coming back to me, for loving me. She runs her fingers through my hair, soothing me as I break down before her. I always loved when she did that. It’s the simplest of gestures, yet it means the world to me. She’s back. I’m back.

Now, I’m healed.

She sleeps fitfully beside me. I haven’t slept all night. I’m afraid if I close my eyes that I’ll wake up from this wonderful dream. She’s so beautiful. The worry lines that have appeared around her eyes are now gone. Her face is peaceful and serene. Her pink, full lips are parted, begging to be kissed. I desperately fight back the urge to crush my lips against hers. I want her to sleep. For the first time, I debate canceling therapy. I know she wouldn’t want me to, but I can’t leave her or this bed. 

She stirs beside me and mumbles incoherently until she says “
my Quint
.” Suddenly, she opens her eyes and stares right into mine.

“Hi.”

Before I respond, I impulsively kiss her repeatedly. “I’m sorry. I’ve been waiting to do that for hours.”

She blushes adorably. “Haven’t you slept?”

“No.”

“Q, you’re going to be exhausted today. You need your strength for therapy. I need to go so you can get ready.”

I take a handful of her hair between my fingers and bring it up to my nose. “God, I missed the smell of your shampoo. I actually started using your brand, but it smells so much better on you than in a bottle.”

“You’re avoiding,” she says with a smile. “I see your distraction tactics haven’t changed.”

“I may cancel.”

“No.” She sits up and tries to leave the bed. I hold her tighter, preventing any distance between us. “Q, you need to go to therapy. I’ll come back later.”

“No. Please. I can miss one day. I need today.”

“Quint…” Her voice takes on an uncertain tone.

“I’ll be a good boy. I’ll ice and elevate and do my bending exercises. Please.”

“Quint, we can see each other later.”

“Please?” I resort to begging her.

“Okay,” she finally gives in. “But only if I can take care of you.”

I pretend to ponder her request. “Fine. You drive a hard bargain, Mrs. Law...” She stares at me, shock registering on her face. She opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. “I’m sorry.”

Tears spring to her eyes, causing her to blink repeatedly. We haven’t broached the subject of our engagement. I don’t want to send her running. Even though this ring that rests against my heart needs to be in its rightful place on her finger, it’s too soon.

“Are you hungry? Would you like breakfast?” I ask in a pathetic attempt to change the subject.

She looks around the room, avoiding my eyes. “Um. I’ll get it. You rest,” she says before hurrying out toward the kitchen.

“Fuck,” I say out loud, hating my big mouth.

It’s so easy to fall right back into our relationship. Being together as long as we have, old habits die hard. When she’s near, she’s still Annie, my fiancée.

A few minutes pass and she doesn’t return. Concerned, I go out to be sure she’s okay. I find her cleaning the remnants of last night’s dinner. She looks up and smiles. “I should have put the leftovers away. There’s so much left, it would have made a few more meals for you. Now it’s spoiled.”

“Annie.”

“What?” she asks with her back to me.

“Look at me.” Slowly she turns and tentatively looks into my eyes. “I love you. Having you here puts me right back to where we were.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I may slip. When I do, it’s only because I
want
to be right back to where we were. We would have been married now…and…fuck…” I choke on the words I’m trying to get out. “Annie, that kills me every goddamn day.”

She moves toward me and wraps her arms around my waist. “Q, I want no more regrets, no more apologies, and no more wasting precious time. I’m here because I can’t live without you. I also can’t step right back into our former lives. I love you, but you need to be patient with me.” She rises up on her toes to kiss me. My arm braces prevent me from wrapping her in my arms or pulling her closer. She compensates by molding her body into mine. The kiss goes on and on, leaving us breathless and panting, and me hard as a rock.

“I want you,” she breathes against my lips. “I can no longer pretend that I don’t.”

“I’ve wanted you since the moment you walked through my door. But are you sure? We can wait. Me wanting you here, wanting you to stay with me has nothing to do with sex.”

“I know. I need our connection, Q.” She grips the fabric of my T-shirt and pulls me toward my room…our room. I sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for direction. “Do you have to call Lance?” she asks. “Because once I get started, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop.”

Her admission causes my cock to get even harder. Wordlessly, I nod and quickly grab my phone. As I dial his number, she says, “I’ll be right back.”

My call goes to voice mail. “Lance, it’s Quint. I need to cancel today. Don’t ask questions, I’ll explain tomorrow. I promise to do my exercises. Don’t call me back, I’m busy and won’t be picking up the phone.”

Annie smiles from the doorway. “He’s going to work you harder tomorrow.”

“I know. It’ll be worth it.”

“Are you nervous?” she asks, still standing at the door.

“About Lance? He’s harmless.” I know what she meant, but I tease further. “I can’t wait to tell him why I missed therapy. He has the hots for you.”

“Q.”

“Yeah?”

“I meant about us.”

“I know you did.” I smirk. I motion for her to come closer. When she stands before me, I grip her hips, looking up at her face. “Yes and no. Once we get started, it’ll be like we never stopped.”

She strokes my face before running her hand through my hair. I close my eyes, thanking God for bringing her back to me. When I open them, the love in her eyes is unmistakable.

“Make love to me, Q.” She bends and kisses me much like she did in the kitchen. Her tongue searches for mine and then caresses every part of my mouth. She retreats, teasing and taunting me to follow. Before it disappears, I suck on it and moan from the jolt it sends to my cock. Needing more of a connection, I sink my hands into her hair and hold her like I wanted to in the kitchen. When it’s still not enough, I flip her around so she’s beside me on the bed. I place my hand on her waist, beneath her T-shirt, on her warm, silky skin.

“Baby, I missed you so much.” I trail my lips across her jaw and down her neck. I need to feel every inch of her against every inch of me. Slowly, I peel off her T-shirt. Her lace bra reveals her beautiful pink, pebbled nipples. In awe, I skim my fingertips across one and then the other. I gently bite down on her left nipple through the lace, stroking my thumb over her right one. She lifts her back off the bed, further arching into my mouth. I run my hands behind her and unclasp her bra. Bringing the straps around with my hands, I expose her to my hungry gaze. I resume nibbling, sucking, licking, and devouring her breasts.

I want to devour her from head to toe, and I will. There will be time for that later. The most pressing thing I must do is to sink into her warmth. I won’t be able to think straight until I connect with her and release the pressure building inside me.

Forcing myself to pull away, I remove the rest of her clothes piece by piece. She stares at me through hooded eyes, with flushed cheeks and parted lips.

She helps me undress, placing random kisses on my exposed skin. When my hard cock springs free from my boxers, she gently kisses the tip, driving me insane.

“Annie.” She looks up expectantly. “I need to be inside you.”

Understanding my request, she pushes me until I’m flat on the mattress and straddles me until I’m settled against her folds. Her hair cascades around her when she looks down at my face. I tuck some behind her ear before gripping the back of her head. Pulling her down, I kiss her long and hard as she slides over my length. The exquisite feeling of being inside her immediately floods through every part of me. We swallow each other’s pants, each refusing to break the kiss. With every thrust of her hips, I’m sent closer to nirvana.