The Siege (14 page)

Burt laughed.

Mia knew at that point that Burt was healing.  The man who he had become wouldn’t have laughed.

Burt pulled into the auto parts store.  “Here’s the deal.  You go in there and walk over to the one I need and say, ‘Isn’t this a pretty one,’ and I’ll stomp over and say, ‘Let me look at this, dearie...’”

“Really, you’re going to call me dearie?” Mia asked dryly.

“How about pumpkin?”

“Pumpkin’s good.”

“Alrighty then, let’s get that battery,” Burt said, getting out of the car.

Mia waited until he came around and opened her door.  “Thank you, Burtie,” she said in her Betty Boop voice.

Burt roared with laughter.  He hadn’t remembered feeling this good in a long while.

~

Ted finished his conference call with Mike and Audrey.  He explained what Mia had found inside of Burt’s mind and how they eradicated the parasite.  Mike was kicking himself for not noticing sooner that Burt wasn’t Burt.  Audrey, who hadn’t been privy to the ‘good old Burt,’ pondered who she had gotten to know, Burt or the flitch.

“You’re going to like the old Burt better,” Ted promised her.  “He listens and laughs a lot.”

Ted disconnected the conference call.  He felt a presence behind him.  He turned around to see Murphy standing there.

“Come to shoot the breeze?” Ted asked.

Murphy turned his head and looked outside.  “Somethin’s not right.”

Ted stood up and got his coat.  “Show me.”

Murphy timed his stride so the long-legged technician could keep up with him.  He took him by way of the driveway until they were even with the destination, and then he took the path through the woods to Murphy’s mausoleum.  Ted saw the damage before they had cleared the trees.  The top of the marble structure was cleaved in half, and the two pieces had dropped inside the hollow structure.  Ted climbed up and dropped inside to examine the floor.  He was satisfied nothing had breached the entrance to the old icehouse where Murphy’s bones had rested undisturbed since his mother found his crushed body under a fallen tree.  He was still holding his axe when life left his body.  This was one of the reasons the axe rarely left his side.

Ted climbed out and studied the ground around the gravesite.  “I don’t see any footprints.  But this didn’t happen on its own.  I think someone or something is after your remains.  It may be time to rethink your grave.  It’s very isolated here.  Perhaps we could inter you in the basement.”

Murphy looked horrified.

“They have tombs under churches. Why not a classy little marble and lead setup under the kitchen?”

“I’m not a rutabaga.”

“No, you certainly are not.”

“We’ll have to get started right away.”  Ted took out his phone.

Murphy raised his hand.  “Not Mia.”

“No, I wouldn’t be so insensitive.  Don’t worry, I’m not calling Santos.  He may want to say a few words, and you’ll find yourself on an express ride to heaven.  Besides, when bones need to be expertly moved, we call in the professionals.  In this case, it’s my father-in-law Charles.”

Murphy liked Charles.  He nodded his assent.

Ted found the number and pressed send.

The phone rang through to an answering service.  The nice young lady on the other end understood the nature of the call and put him through to Charles.

“Ted, my boy, it’s great to hear your voice.  The little one hasn’t made its entrance prematurely I hope?”

“No, Charles, Mia’s insisting on a fully baked baby.  What I’m calling you about is rather sensitive.  Do you have time to talk?”

“I’m sitting here counting bones at the museum.  It seems we’ve had a metatarsal of a former Raja of India go astray.”

“I’ve got a problem with bones too,” Ted said.

Charles listened patiently until the whole story revealed itself.  “And you think that something is after Murphy’s bones?”

“The bones of an active spirit can be used to control or destroy them,” Ted informed Charles.  “Something attacked Murphy recently. I don’t know if it was to remove him from being your daughter’s best bodyguard or to take control of him.  Either way, I think we have to act right away and move the bones to a more secure spot.”

“Where are you thinking?”

Ted told him.

“What’s Mia say about that?”

“I haven’t asked her yet, but I know this would be what she wants too.  Stephen is her best friend.  She’s not going to rest easy unless she knows he’s safe.”

“I think you’re right.  Well, I’m going to be done here in an hour tops.  Let me see if Amanda is up for an outing.  Before you say anything, she is the best bone person I know who can keep her mouth shut.  I take it we don’t want to go through
normal
channels with this relocation.”

“We don’t have time, and they would never agree to us interring him under our house.”

“I’ll gather what I need here.  I think you ought to start digging a hole.  Let’s say eight by three and six feet deep.  I don’t think we’ll be able to manage bringing in a vault.  The weight alone will make the basement grave impossible. I do have a plastic and composite liner that will fit that space.  We use it as a temporary measure if the weather doesn’t allow us to move the remains right away.  You get us a casket or make one to fit your friend.”

“I’ll get Cid on that project.  I’ve got some digging to do.”

“See you around four. We’ll go out for pizza later,” Charles said and hung up.

Ted wanted to call Mia, but he needed to get ahold of Cid and Dave before they traveled too far. He tapped Cid’s number.

“Cid’s phone, Dave answering.”

“Put the phone on speaker,” Ted ordered and added, “please.”

“What’s up?” Cid asked.

“Someone has been messing with Murphy’s grave,” Ted reported.  “I think it’s time to move his bones.  Charles and Amanda are coming to help.  I’ve got a grave to dig, and I don’t have time to build a casket.”

“I’m turning around now.  You don’t think we can get one already constructed do you?”

“With no questions, I doubt it,” Ted said.

“Okay, I’ll stop and get some nice cedar.  I’ll tell them it’s for a closet.”

“I’ll leave it to you.  I’ve got a grave to dig.”  Ted put the phone in his pocket.  He turned to Murphy.  “I think you need to stay here and guard.  I’m going to let Maggie out.  She’ll find you.  I know she’s not a great guard dog, but she’ll cause a ruckus if anything approaches.”

Murphy nodded.  He was happy that he wouldn’t be standing over his grave alone.  “Mia, call Mia,” he reminded Ted.

“Thanks, you’ve saved my life,” Ted dialed the phone and took off running towards the garage.

“Teddy Bear!” Mia’s happy voice all but sang into the phone.

“We’ve got a problem.  Is Burt around?”

“He’s sitting beside me in the van. I’ll put you on speaker.”

Ted repeated the situation to them, and Mia was in agreement on the new resting place for Murphy’s remains.  When he discussed having her father and mother over to help, Mia groaned.

“We have to be quick about this, and Murphy didn’t want you to see him that way.”

“Well, it’s not like I haven’t seen his remains before, but my father is the expert,” Mia agreed.  “My mother actually was a good call.  Do you need us to bring back anything?”

Ted explained the tasks already allotted, and Mia couldn’t think of anything else.  “How is he?”

“Murphy is shook up but resigned to doing this.  I have a hole to dig so I better get going.”

“We could always put him in the wall where Charity was,” Mia suggested.

“I don’t think so.  It would unnerve me if the situation was reversed,” Ted said.

“I agree with Ted,” Burt said.

“K.  Well, I think you guys have a good read on this.  We’ll be there soon.”

Ted pocketed the phone.  He gathered a few shovels, a pickaxe and a ladder and put them in a wheelbarrow.  He wheeled it to the back door.  Maggie was dancing inside when he opened the door.  He encouraged her outside and said, “Find Murphy.”

The dog took off running.  Ted looked at the spot where the old entrance to the cellar had been.  A two-story addition now rested over the spot.  Ted would have to drag his equipment and Murphy’s remains through the kitchen to the new stairs.  He thought that the enclosed stairwell would give them trouble moving the lead liner around, so he picked up a hammer and started with the drywall.  After he opened up the stairwell, he brought down his shovels and chose an appropriate spot and began to break up the concrete.  Ted lifted the pickaxe up and behind him and let it fall with as much force as he was able.

CRACK!

Ted examined the floor and was satisfied to see a deep gouge there.  “I may not be Paul Bunyan, but I’ll do.” Ted sang as he worked, “Paul Bunyan was a man…”

Out in the forest, Murphy heard the sound of the pickaxe hitting the concrete.  He drew his axe close to him for a moment.

Maggie sniffed around the mausoleum and found to her glee that several rabbits had been using Murphy’s gravesite as a playground.  She looked over at Murphy.  To her he looked sad.  She abandoned her rabbit investigation and trotted over to him.  She nudged his hand and demanded to be petted.  She knew instinctively that by paying attention to her, Murphy would think less of his troubles.

Chapter Eleven

Burt turned into the lane.  He saw Cid’s truck just ahead of them.  The enclosed back window was open and a length of wood was secured there with a red flag at the end.  The truck slowed to a stop in the drive, and Dave got out and ran in the direction of the grave.  Mia felt relief.  She wanted to be there for Murphy but feared, in her condition, she was of little use if they had to defend their ground.  Burt let Mia out at the front porch before pulling the car around.  Mia saw him jump out and help Cid bring in the wood.

Burt had been quiet on the way back.  Mia too hadn’t spoken much.  She had a lot on her mind.  She tried not to dwell on whatever was threatening them.  She didn’t have enough information, so she had disciplined herself not to make wild guesses.  Instead, she thought back to when Ted had stayed to help her construct the mausoleum.

Mia had worked side-by-side with Ted.  They dug a foundation around the small collapsed icehouse.  He helped her to pour the concrete and set the first layer of cement blocks.  They talked about everything except her and Burt.  Mia was fine with that.  She learned all about Ted’s torturous years waiting tables at a steak restaurant while he saved for electronics school.  Mia laughed at some of his antics and he at hers.  She took for granted that he and Beth were in a relationship but found out he wasn’t interested in the researcher.

That morning, before she left to meet Ted at the brickyard, she received a FedEx package containing opera tickets.  It was a reminder that she hadn’t mentioned her breakup with Burt to Ralph or Bernard.  She knew better than to ask Ted to the opera and kept quiet about her dilemma.

Ted’s phone went off.  The ringtone blared the trumpeted fanfare to the
Star Wars Theme
.  It echoed through the woods long after he answered it.  “Dude,” he said.

Mia tried not to eavesdrop, but after the sixth, “Dude, no way,” she began to suspect it was PEEPs business.

“I’m doing something important…”

Mia jumped up and down to get his attention.  She mimed that she was okay with him leaving.  He smiled and said into the phone, “I could be in Nevada in 24, dude, after I stop off at home for fresh undies.”

Mia smirked and wondered at the state of what he was wearing now.  “Ew,” she said.

“Pardon?” Ted asked.  “Are you talking to me?”

“No.  Myself.  So what’s up?”

“Casino chips are flying off the tables at the Belaggio.  And they are offering us money and an exclusive if we get there in the next few days.  Burt is already en route.  Mike is going to hang back and finish with the Hofmann reports.”

“Go, my friend, I can finish up.”  Mia shook his hand and watched as he all but skipped to the PEEPs van.

What if he hadn’t left?  But he did leave, and Whitney Martin arrived soon after. 
Ted claims he was in love with me from the start
, Mia thought. 
Did I miss the signs?  “
Well, I can’t go backward,” she said.

“Pardon?” Burt asked.  “I’m sorry, were you talking to me?”

“Oh no, just talking out loud.”

“Anything I can help you with?”

“Oh no, you’ve been a prince about this.”

“Murphy’s my friend too, Mia.”

“I guess so.”

Mia let herself into the house and walked into the kitchen.  She followed the muddy footprints to the basement steps.  She was shocked to see that the stairwell was no longer enclosed and hoped that Cid wouldn’t have a fit.  She walked down a few steps and spotted her husband four feet down in the ground.  He was singing a deep-voiced rendition of “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
.
”

“Ted!” she shouted after unsuccessfully trying to get his attention.

Ted jumped.  He turned around and, upon seeing his wife, put down the shovel he was now brandishing as a weapon.

“Hello, Sweet Pea,” he said gruffly.

“Whatcha doing, Popeye?”

“I’m digging a hole.”

“It’s a nice hole, Popeye.  Want to take a rest?  Have some coffee?”

“I need’s me spinach, yuck yuck yuck.”

“All I have is coffee.”

“Then gets me that coffee,” Ted said, modeling the large bicep he was sporting.

“Ooh, Popeye,” Mia squealed and headed for the steps.

Ted climbed out of the hole and caught up to her.  He turned her around and put his two muddy hands on either side of her face and kissed her hard.

“Whoa, what’s that for?”

“For not yelling at me for destroying your house.”

“Our house.”

“For destroying our house.”

“It’s open concept,” Mia said, mimicking one of the Scott brothers.

Ted laughed, then coughed and then laughed again.  Mia put a hand to his forehead.  “I don’t like the feel of this.”

“I’m just hot because I’ve been working.  Now about that coffee?”