The Sinful Ones (7 page)

She did pull back then with a gasping chuckle and looked at him, almost comically, a startled question. He nodded ruefully, looked down, and gave a little shrug, as if to say, “I didn’t plan on it happening.”

“Oh Lord,” she said in consternation that was again more comic than not. “Look, Carr, it’s much too cold out here and I simply can’t ask you in, but I can’t leave you like that.” A mischievous look came into he eyes and something of her earlier merriment retuned as she grabbed his hand. “But first let’s get into a little shadow.”

And as she tugged him through the gate and toward one of its big pillars, she told him swiftly and eagerly, “When I was twelve years old there was an older boy cousing staying with us and we became great chums. He was going out on his first dates and as you can image, I became very interested in his erotic experience, you might say, his amatory progress. When he was on a date I’d stay awake and afterward sneak over to his room to hear how it had gone, whether he’d scored or not, and how. Now wait a minute—”

She had him backed against the side pillar, next to some shrubbery. She searched her small handbag, said, “Damn,” under her breath, looked up, he glimpsed something pale slip down into the shrubbery, her eyes widened, “Just the thing!” she said with a grin as she impudently snatched his handkerchief from his breast pocket and clipped its corner between his little and ring fingers, then went down with it.

She resumed, “Now when he hadn’t scored, which was quite often, and was suffering form it, was all ‘het up,’ he’d say, he taught me how to fix that up for him, give him a helping hand, as you might say.”

Carr chose that moment to begin unbuttoning the top buttons of her cardigan and of the blouse beneath. He felt his own zipper being loosened and the cold, cold tips of her first two fingers and her thumb creep to the root of his phallus and walk round it knowingly, sometimes caressing, sometimes probing deeply, sometimes feather-touching. Carr reversed the hand, palm for back, that had done unbuttoning, and thrust it gently down into the warm space between her small, small breasts, then worked out either way to the surprisingly large nipples. Time passed, with more activities. Their cold noses and warm mouths nuzzles each other’s face. He feather-touched and felt the aureoles life and roughen. Her still-cool fingertips moved to his glans and pushed his stretched foreskin all the way back so they could trace the groove around its base. His fingertips darted from nipple to large nipple, patting and pressing each all the way around, while his other hand belatedly slipped down inside her skirt, across her indrawn belly and surprisingly close-shaven skin below, found her cleft, her clitoris, and caressed it. She drew his foreskin down, then pushed it back. Time raced, more things happened, the pain was exquisite. She gasped, he came and she embraced his coming through his handkerchief. She chuckled and he whinnied just a little.

Some moment passed and she drew back from him.

“Please don’t come in with me,” she whispered. “And please don’t stay and watch.”

Carr knew why. She didn’t want him to see the lights wink agitatedly on, perhaps hear the beginning of an accusing, rackingly solicitous tirade. It was her last crumb of freedom—to leave him with the illusion that she was free.

He whimsically kissed her helping hand, then took her lightly in his arms. He felt in the darkness the tears on her cold cheek wetting his.

Then she had broken away. There were footsteps running up a gravel drive. He turned and walked swiftly away.

In the sky, through the black trees, shined the first paleness of dawn.

Ecstasy, or the shadow of it, throbbed and undulated in the lightening night.

THROUGH SLITTED, SLEEP-HEAVY eyes Carr saw the black hands of the clock stiffly invoking the wrath of heaving on all slugabeds. The room was drenched with sunshine.

But he did not hurl himself up, tear into his clothes, rush downtown, just because it was ten minutes past ten.

Nor did he start brooding about how he was going to make his peace with Marcia.

Instead he yawned and closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of independence and self-confidence, the freedom from anxiety, that pervaded him.

Odd that a queer, neurotic girl could give you so much.

Leisurely he pushed his legs out of bed and sat up, rubbing his eyes. Whatever it was she’d given him, he’d certainly needed it. Lord, he’d been getting into a state lately. Not enough sleep, nerves on edge, fighting his job, straining too had to keep up with the world—until trifles made him tremble, a balmy magnetic inspector reduced him to cowardice, and Marcia’s wrangling of a magnificent opportunity for him made him run away from her. All that seemed ridiculous now. He had a profound sensation of being back on the right track.

Despite what he owed to it, last night was already becoming hazy in his mind, as if it were an episode that hadn’t rightly belonged in his life—a cozy but detached bit of experience framed like a picture.

People ought to have more experiences like that. Helped to break the “rhythm.”

Grinning, he got up and leisurely bathed and shaved.

He’d have breakfast downtown, he decided. Something a little special. Then amble over to the office about the time his regular lunch hour ended.

Sun-warmed, lake-cooled air drifted through the open windows. He rediscovered forgotten pleasures in the stale business of selecting shirt and necktie.

He jogged downstairs. This time the Carr Mackay in the mirror was just a jauntily reassuring counterpart, despite the circled eyes and the gray hairs here and there. He nodded casually.

He’d half thought of permitting himself the luxury of taking a cab to the Loop. But as soon as he got outside he changed his mind. The sun and air, and the soft brown of the buildings, and the blue of lake and sky, and the general feel of muscle-stretching spring, when even old people crawl out of their holes, were too enticing. He felt fresh. Plenty of time. He’d walk.

The city showed him her best profile. He found pleasure in sensing his own leisurely yet springy bodily movements, in inspecting, as if he were a god briefly sojourning on earth, the shifting scene and the passing people.

If life had a rhythm, Carr thought, it had sunk to a lazy summer murmur from the strings.

His mind idly played over last night’s events. He wondered if he could find Jane’s home again. An imposing enough place, all right. His guess about her being wealthy had hit the mark.

But he felt no curiosity. Already Jane was beginning to seem like a girl in a dream. They’d met, helped each other, parted. A proper episode. Why did so many people want encounters to lead to something? Often we see people at their best the first time. Why belabor each fresh human contact until it becomes a dull acquaintanceship?

Crossing the Michigan Bridge, he looked around idly fro the black motor-barge, but it was nowhere in sight. Far on the lake was dazzling. Next to the bridge, deck-hands were washing an excursion steamer. The skyscrapers rose up clean and gray. Cities could be lovely places at times. To crown it, he decided he’d drop into one of the big department stores and make some totally unnecessary purchase. Necktie, perhaps. Say, a new blue.

Inside the store the crowd was thicker. Pausing by the door to spy out the proper counter, Carr had the faintest feeling of oppressiveness.

So low as not to attract general attention, but distinctly audible, came a buzz. Three buzzes, close together. Then three more. Carr felt suddenly on the alert, now knowing why.

A large man began to move toward the nearest door, not with obvious haste but not losing any time. Two aisles over another large man was heading in the same direction.

Between them, a well-dressed gray-haired woman was making for the same door with steps a bit faster than seemed appropriate for her bulky figure.

They converged on her. She hurried. They caught up with her at the door.

Superficially, it might have been an aunt being accosted by two polite, solicitous nephews. No one else in the store seemed to realize that anything out of the ordinary was happening.

But Carr noted the hand on the wrist, the gentle prod—it might have been a nephew’s love tap—the indignant look and the threat to start a scene on her part, the gentle “It’ll be a lot simpler if you don’t make a fuss” eyebrow-raising on theirs, the business of escorting her toward the mezzanine stairs—as if the nephews had persuaded their rather flustered aunt to have lunch with them.

Suddenly Carr didn’t feel hungry any more. Any thoughts of subtle pleasures to be derived from idle shopping vanished from his mind. He wanted to get to his place at the office.

It wasn’t the incident itself. Nothing extraordinary about that. Just two house detectives picking up a shoplifter when the alarm signal sounded.

It was in what the thing suggested.

It had app happened too inconspicuously. It made you distrustful of crows and any security you might have thought rested in them.

Outside, the city was noisier, pushier, less friendly.

When Carr got to the office he was annoyed to notice that his heart was pounding and that he was hurrying guiltily. He forced himself to slow down and it turned out that everyone was so busy that no one had time to look up at him or say hello. As he settled down with an exaggerated feeling of relief, his phone buzzed. His heart sank, he didn’t know why.

“Morning, Carr.”

“Morning.” His lips worked. “Marcia, I’m sorry—”

“Head still on?”

“Uh?” Carr’s mind fumbled wildly at the remark. It might be sarcasm, but he couldn’t figure what sort. Of course he had “lost his head” last night but—

“Well, mine isn’t,” Marcia continued briskly. “I had a wonderful evening though, in case you’re interested.”

That cut. Marcia lost no time in punishing people, all right. Still he had it coming to him. “Marcia, I acted like a fool,” he began.

“Simply wonderful. Never know the food to be better at Kungsholm.”

She said it in the pleasantest sort of voice. No suggestion that she was trying to hurt him.

“And afterwards—that was marvelous too.”

Carr winced. The easy confidence he’d felt toward Marcia earlier in the morning evaporated. He felt altogether jealous and miserable.

“Listen, Marcia, I told you I acted like a fool—”

“What I wanted to call you about,” she interrupted, “was that I’m glad you’ve decided to change your mind about Keaton Fisher.”

The phone was silent. Carr got to the point, or thought he did. She’d forgive him, if he’d go after the Fisher job. Well, that was all right, he’d come around to that way of thinking himself. But he hated to let her believe she’d forced him into it. Still—

“I
have
changed my mind, Marcia,” he said.

“And I want you to make a really good impression on him Friday night.”

“I’ll try.”

“I know you will. Goodbye, darling.”

He replaced the receiver. Well, that was that. He’d committed himself. Probably for his own good.

Might have known Marcia would get her way in the end. He wondered what man she’d gone out with last night, decided he ought to put that question out of his mind.

“Coming?”

He looked up. People had their hats on and were going to lunch. Tom Elvested was standing beside his desk.

“Sure, sure,” Carr said hurriedly. “Be right with you.”

Going over to the Italian’s, his mood brightened. After all, he’d made his peace with Marcia, even though at a price. Something of the calm elation he’d felt earlier in the morning returned to him. He was half of a mind to tell Tom about last night, yet felt a queer reticence. Plenty of reason for feeling that way, though, he told himself. For one thing, he didn’t want it to get back to Marcia. For another, if he described it to Tom, it would seem just silly. Finally, there was his persistent impression that Jane knew Tom, was connected with him in some way, and right now he didn’t want to know any more about her or get involved with her in any way.

So when they’d found a table at the Italian’s and decided that the veal cutlet
parmigiana
looked the best, and Tom asked, “How was your date with Marcia?” Carr merely said, “Swell.” He hurried on to ask in turn, “And how did you get along with Midge and he girlfriend?”

“Her friend didn’t come. We couldn’t scare up another date for her at short notice. Midge tried to persuade her to come anyway, but I guess she was afraid of spoiling our twosome.”

“I’m sorry,” said Carr. “If it hadn’t been for my date with Marcia…and of course, you did ask me at the last minute.”

“Sure,” said Tom, tearing off bits of French bread and dropping them in his cup of minestrone. “Still, I’d like you to meet her some day. I think you and she have a lot in common.”

“What way?” Carr asked.

Tom fished up a spoonful of sopping bits of bread. “Oh, your more submerged qualities,” he said.

Carr looked at him for a moment, decided not to follow that one up. Might as well begin working up enthusiasm about his new future, it occurred to him. “Say, you know, Marcia’s got on to something very interesting,” he began, and while they were finishing their soup, he outlined Keaton Fisher’s plan for an editorial counseling service. The cutlets came and they were both busy for a while. Then, when Tom was wiping up the last of the tomato sauce with a fragment of break on his fork, Carr asked, “Well, what did you think of it?”

Tom chewed his bread before replying. Then he countered uninspiredly, “Are you sure it’s the sort of job you’d like?”

“Oh, hell,” Carr said, “you know that we probably wouldn’t be employment men if we were certain of the job we wanted.”

Tom grinned. “I grant you that. Just as the psychiatrist is apt to be a little crazy. But I’ve got an angle about you. I don’t think you like people.”

“Really?”

“No. Now me, I may be no great shakes at personnel work, but still I like people. I like to speculate about them. I even like to relax with them. I’m uneasy if they’re not around. But you—I think people get on your nerves. You conceal it pretty well, but I’ve caught you looking at people as if they irritated the hell out of you. It’s almost as if you felt they were queer little machines that were bothering you.”