The Skeptics Annotated Bible (16 page)

15 And
they went
in unto Noah
into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life.

(7.15)
“They went … into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life.”
34 How many of each kind did Noah take into the ark?

16 And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the LORD shut him in.

17 And
the flood was forty days upon the earth
; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth.

(7.17)
“The flood was forty days upon the earth.”
37 How long did the flood last?

18 And the waters prevailed, and were increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark went upon the face of the waters.

19 And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.

20 Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and
the mountains were covered.

(7.20)
“The mountains were covered.”
The flood covered the highest mountain tops (Mount Everest?) with fifteen cubits to spare. Where did all the water come from? Where did it all go? Why is there no evidence of such a massive flood in the geological record?

21 And
all flesh died that moved upon the earth
, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:

(7.21)
“All flesh died that moved upon the earth.”
God drowned everything that breathes air. From newborn babies to koala bears—all creatures great and small, the Lord God drowned them all. (Except for the Nephilium, that is.)
31 Did everyone die in the flood?
God’s 1st killing

22 All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.

23 And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.

24 And
the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.

(7.24)
“The waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.”
37 How long did the flood last?

8
And God remembered Noah
, and every living thing, and all the cattle that was with him in the ark: and God made a wind to pass over the earth, and the waters asswaged;

(8.1)
“And God remembered Noah.”
Yeah. He probably said something like, “Isn’t Noah the guy who built the ark?”

2 The fountains also of the deep and
the windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained;

(8.2)
“The windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained.”
This happens whenever it stops raining.

3 And the waters returned from off the earth continually: and
after the end of the hundred and fifty days the waters were abated.

(8.3)
“After the end of the hundred and fifty days the waters were abated.”
37 How long did the flood last?

4 And
the ark rested in the seventh month
, on the seventeenth day of the month,
upon the mountains of Ararat.