The Skeptics Annotated Bible (214 page)

The five kings from these cities (the Amorite coalition) decided to attack the Israelites. Then God gets involved.

God tells Joshua not to worry; he has given the Amorites into his hand, and the Amorites would run away when attacked.

So Joshua attacked, but God did most of the dirty work. He “discomfited” them and even “chased them along the way,” throwing down giant hailstones from heaven that killed even more Amorites than the Israelite army.

Then, in one of his most impressive feats in the entire Bible, God made the sun and the moon stop moving for 24 hours so that Joshua could get all his killing done in broad daylight. “The Lord God fought for Israel.” God’s 34th Killing

8 And
the LORD said unto Joshua, Fear them not: for I have delivered them into thine hand
; there shall not a man of them stand before thee.

(10.8)
“The LORD said unto Joshua, Fear them not: for I have delivered them into thine hand.”

9 Joshua therefore came unto them suddenly, and went up from Gilgal all night.

10 And
the LORD
discomfited them before Israel, and
slew them with a great slaughter
at Gibeon,
and chased them along the way
that goeth up to Beth-horon, and smote them to Azekah, and unto Makkedah.

(10.10)
“The LORD … slew them with a great slaughter … and chased them along the way.”

11 And it came to pass, as they fled from before Israel, and were in the going down to Beth-horon, that
the LORD cast down great stones from heaven upon them
unto Azekah,
and they died: they were more which died with hailstones than they whom the children of Israel slew with the sword
.

(10.11)
“The LORD cast down great stones from heaven upon them … and they died: they were more which died with hailstones than they whom the children of Israel slew with the sword.”
As the Amorites try to escape, God sends down huge hailstones and kills even more of them.

(10.12-13) In a divine type of daylight savings time, God makes the sun stand still so that Joshua can get all his killing done before dark.

12 Then spake Joshua to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel,
Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon.

(10.12)
“Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon.”

13 And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher?
So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.

(10.13)
“So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.”

14 And there was no day like that before it or after it, that the LORD hearkened unto the voice of a man: for
the LORD fought for Israel.

(10.14)
“The Lord fought for Israel.”
I wonder what kind of weapon he used. Probably the jawbone of an ass.

15 And Joshua returned, and all Israel with him, unto the camp to Gilgal.

16 But these five kings fled, and hid themselves in a cave at Makkedah.

17 And it was told Joshua, saying, The five kings are found hid in a cave at Makkedah.

18 And Joshua said, Roll great stones upon the mouth of the cave, and set men by it for to keep them:

19 And stay ye not, but
pursue after your enemies, and smite the hindmost of them
; suffer them not to enter into their cities: for the LORD your God hath delivered them into your hand.

(10.19)
“Pursue after your enemies, and smite the hindmost of them.”
God tells Joshua to “pursue after your enemies and smite the hindmost of them.” (Kick their butts.) Don’t let any of them escape “for the Lord your God hath delivered them into your hand.”

20 And it came to pass, when Joshua and the children of Israel had made an end of slaying them with a very great slaughter, till they were consumed, that the rest which remained of them entered into fenced cities.

21 And all the people returned to the camp to Joshua at Makkedah in peace: none moved his tongue against any of the children of Israel.

22 Then said Joshua, Open the mouth of the cave, and bring out those five kings unto me out of the cave.

23 And they did so, and brought forth those five kings unto him out of the cave, the king of Jerusalem, the king of Hebron, the king of Jarmuth, the king of Lachish, and the king of Eglon.

(10.24-26) Joshua tells his captains to “put your feet upon the necks of these kings.” He says, “thus shall the Lord do to all of your enemies.” Then Joshua kills the kings and hangs them on trees. God’s 35th Killing

24 And it came to pass, when they brought out those kings unto Joshua, that Joshua called for all the men of Israel, and said unto the captains of the men of war which went with him, Come near,
put your feet upon the necks of these kings.
And they came near, and put their feet upon the necks of them.

(10.24)
“Put your feet upon the necks of these kings.”

25 And Joshua said unto them, Fear not, nor be dismayed, be strong and of good courage: for
thus shall the LORD do to all your enemies
against whom ye fight.

(10.25)
“Thus shall the LORD do to all your enemies.”

26 And
Joshua
smote them, and
slew them, and hanged them on five trees
: and they were hanging upon the trees until the evening.

(10.26)
“Joshua … slew them, and hanged them on five trees.”

27 And it came to pass at the time of the going down of the sun, that Joshua commanded, and they took them down off the trees, and cast them into the cave wherein they had been hid, and laid great stones in the cave’s mouth, which remain until this very day.

(10.28-42) Joshua, at God’s command, kills everyone and everything that he can find—or, as the Bible puts it, he “utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the Lord commanded.”
God’s 36th Killing