The Skeptics Annotated Bible (3 page)

Conflicts with Science and History (428)

Religious moderates and secular accomodationists claim that there is no conflict between science and religion. And although that might be true of some religions (Buddhism and deism perhaps), it is not true for any that are based upon the Bible. Because the Bible makes many statements about science and history that we now know are false.

Biblical fundamentalists know there is a conflict between science and religion. They solve this conflict by rejecting science whenever it conflicts with the Bible, which it does whenever the Bible says anything about science or history.

Biblical Family Values (413)

The religious right loves to talk about biblical family values. So I’ve included this category to show just what those values entail. When should a father stone to death his whole family? What should be done with a non-virgin bride on her wedding night? What did Jesus have to say about hating our families? It’s all highlighted in the SAB.

Interpretation (403)

Mark Twain said, “It ain’t the parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.” And he was right about that. Most of the Bible is clear enough to anyone who takes the time to read it. And yet it’s surprising how many passages, whose meaning seems clear enough to a nonbeliever, are interpreted completely differently by the various groups of believers.

Take John 6.53-66, for example. Catholics will tell you that Jesus meant what he said about eating his body and drinking his blood. Protestants disagree, saying that’s just too darned gross, even for Jesus. It’s a matter of interpretation, I guess.

So to point out a particular interpretation I’ll highlight the passage using the interpretation icon.

Misogyny and Insults to Women (384)

The Bible has plenty to say about women, and nearly all of it is insulting. When should you cut off a woman’s hand, without pity? When may a woman teach or speak in church? What should you do with a wife that no longer pleases you? What to do with a menstruating woman? How to find out if your wife has been unfaithful? How are women saved? It’s all there in all of its misogynistic glory.

Sex (253)

I don’t want to give you the wrong impression here. I have nothing against sex. It is included as a highlighted category for the following reason: Bible-believers often complain about sex in library books, television, movies, and art museums. These complaints, when successful, result in censorship. Christians should realize, however, that if any book is removed from the library because of its sexual content, then the Bible should also be removed.

I do object, though, to the Bible’s sexual ethics. For example, in Genesis 19, Lot (who is called just and righteous in 2 Peter 2.7-8) gets drunk and impregnates his two virgin daughters. There is no indication that God disapproved of Lot’s behavior.

Some of the material in the Bible is filthy by any standard. Yet Ezekiel 23.20 is part of the “pure word of God”. (Psalm 12.6, 119.140; Proverbs 30.5)

False Prophecy and Misquotes (231)

The authors of the New Testament searched the Hebrew Scriptures to find passages that they could claim were prophecies about Jesus. Pretty much anything would do. But when a passage didn’t quite fit (and none of them did), they had two options: alter the scripture to fit the story about Jesus, or alter the story about Jesus to fit the scripture.

Believers still justify their belief by pointing to the passages from the Hebrew Scriptures that supposedly point to Jesus. And I highlight such passages and point out which of the two options they use.

Language (186)

According to Proverbs 30.5, “Every word of God is pure.” If so, then there’s a lot in the Bible that isn’t the word of God. Try reading 2 Kings 18.27, Ezekiel 23.20, or Malachi 2.3, for example.

I tried to apply the Proverbs 30.5 rule in the SAB by highlighting verses that just don’t seem pure enough to be included in the pure “word of God.”

Homosexuality (25)

Considering the amount of attention this gets from the religious right, you’d think the Bible had a lot to say about homosexuality. It doesn’t. There are fewer passages in this category than in any other in the SAB.

Still, contrary to the religious left, the Bible, in the few verses that address it, is clear enough about it: homosexuality is an abomination, and the punishment for it is death.

Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes.
—
Genesis 19.8

Genesis has it all: sex, violence, contradictions, insults to women, absurdities, conflicts with science and history, you name it. Well, except for anything good, that is. God declared his creation to be “very good” in 1.31, but I can’t find anything good in Genesis.

Be sure to check out:

• The two contradictory creation stories.
  1.1-2.3
  ,
  2.4-25
  
• God’s two magic trees: The tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
  2.9
  
• God’s clever, talking serpent.
  3.1
  
• God’s curse of all women.
  3.16
  
• The mark of Cain.
  4.15
  
• The “sons of God” had sex with the “daughters of men,” and had sons who became “the mighty men of old, men of renown.”
  6.2-4
  
• “There were giants in the earth in those days.”
  6.4
  
• Noah, the just and righteous.
  6.9
  ,
  7.1
  
• God drowns everyone on earth (except Noah and his family).
  7.4
  
• Noah, the drunk and naked.
  9.20-21
  
• The curse of Canaan.
  9.22-25
  
• The Tower of Babel.
  11.1-9
  
• Abraham’s “she’s my sister” lies.
  12.13
  ,
  20.2
  
• Lot [the just and righteous (2 Pet 2.7-8)] offers his daughters to a crowd of angel rapers.
  19.8
  
• “The Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire.”
  19.24
  
• God turns Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt.
  19.26
  
• A drunken Lot impregnates his daughters.
  19.30-36
  
• God closed all the wombs in Abimelech’s household to punish him for believing Abraham’s lie.
  20.18
  
• Abraham abandons his first son.
  21.10-14
  
• God tells Abraham to kill his second son for a burnt offering.
  22.2
  ,
  10
  
• Put your hand under my thigh (testicles) and swear.
  24.2
  ,
  47.29
  
• Isaac uses his dad’s “she’s my sister” lie.
  26.7
  
• Jacob goes in unto Leah by mistake.
  29.25
  
• The great baby making contest.
  30.1-23
  
• Rachel buys sex with mandrakes.
  30.15-16
  
• Jacob wrestles with God and wins!
  30.24-28
  
• Jacob sees God face to face and lives.
  32.30
  
• The Shechem and Dinah love story/massacre.
  34.1-25
  
• Reuben has sex with his father’s concubine.
  35.22
  
• God kills Er for being wicked.
  38.7
  
• Onan spills his seed; God kills Onan.
  38.9-10
  
• Judah impregnates his daughter-in-law.
  38.16-18