The Skeptics Annotated Bible (356 page)

19 And he did that which was evil in the sight of the LORD, according to all that Jehoiakim had done.

20 For through the anger of the LORD it came to pass in Jerusalem and Judah, until he had cast them out from his presence, that Zedekiah rebelled against the king of Babylon.

25
And it came to pass in the ninth year of his reign, in the tenth month, in the tenth day of the month, that Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came, he, and all his host, against Jerusalem, and pitched against it; and they built forts against it round about.

2 And the city was besieged unto the eleventh year of king Zedekiah.

3 And on the ninth day of the fourth month the famine prevailed in the city, and there was no bread for the people of the land.

4 And the city was broken up, and all the men of war fled by night by the way of the gate between two walls, which is by the king’s garden: (now the Chaldees were against the city round about:) and the king went the way toward the plain.

5 And the army of the Chaldees pursued after the king, and overtook him in the plains of Jericho: and all his army were scattered from him.

6 So they took the king, and brought him up to the king of Babylon to Riblah; and they gave judgment upon him.

7 And they slew the sons of Zedekiah before his eyes, and put out the eyes of Zedekiah, and bound him with fetters of brass, and carried him to Babylon.

(25.7) “They slew the sons of Zedekiah before his eyes, and put out the eyes of Zedekiah, and bound him with fetters of brass, and carried him to Babylon.”
256 Did Zedekiah’s eyes see the king of Babylon?

8 And in the fifth month, on the seventh day of the month, which is the nineteenth year of king Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, came Nebuzar-adan, captain of the guard, a servant of the king of Babylon, unto Jerusalem:

9 And he burnt the house of the LORD, and the king’s house, and all the houses of Jerusalem, and every great man’s house burnt he with fire.

(25.8-9)
“On the seventh day of the month … he burnt the house of the LORD.”
257 On what day of the month was the temple burned?

10 And all the army of the Chaldees, that were with the captain of the guard, brake down the walls of Jerusalem round about.

11 Now the rest of the people that were left in the city, and the fugitives that fell away to the king of Babylon, with the remnant of the multitude, did Nebuzar-adan the captain of the guard carry away.

12 But the captain of the guard left of the poor of the land to be vinedressers and husbandmen.

13 And the pillars of brass that were in the house of the LORD, and the bases, and the brasen sea that was in the house of the LORD, did the Chaldees break in pieces, and carried the brass of them to Babylon.

14 And the pots, and the shovels, and the snuffers, and the spoons, and all the vessels of brass wherewith they ministered, took they away.

15 And the firepans, and the bowls, and such things as were of gold, in gold, and of silver, in silver, the captain of the guard took away.

16 The two pillars, one sea, and the bases which Solomon had made for the house of the LORD; the brass of all these vessels was without weight.

17 The height of the one pillar was eighteen cubits, and the chapiter upon it was brass: and the height of the chapiter three cubits; and the wreathen work, and pomegranates upon the chapiter round about, all of brass: and like unto these had the second pillar with wreathen work.

(25.17) “The height of the chapiter three cubits.”
258 How high was the chapiter?

18 And the captain of the guard took Seraiah the chief priest, and Zephaniah the second priest, and the three keepers of the door:

19 And out of the city he took an officer that was set over the men of war, and five men of them that were in the king’s presence, which were found in the city, and the principal scribe of the host, which mustered the people of the land, and threescore men of the people of the land that were found in the city:

(25.19) “Five men of them that were in the king’s presence.”
259 How many men were with the king?

20 And Nebuzar-adan captain of the guard took these, and brought them to the king of Babylon to Riblah:

21 And the king of Babylon smote them, and slew them at Riblah in the land of Hamath. So Judah was carried away out of their land.

22 And as for the people that remained in the land of Judah, whom Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon had left, even over them he made Gedaliah the son of Ahikam, the son of Shaphan, ruler.

23 And when all the captains of the armies, they and their men, heard that the king of Babylon had made Gedaliah governor, there came to Gedaliah to Mizpah, even Ishmael the son of Nethaniah, and Johanan the son of Careah, and Seraiah the son of Tanhumeth the Netophathite, and Jaazaniah the son of a Maachathite, they and their men.

24 And Gedaliah sware to them, and to their men, and said unto them, Fear not to be the servants of the Chaldees: dwell in the land, and serve the king of Babylon; and it shall be well with you.

25 But it came to pass in the seventh month, that Ishmael the son of Nethaniah, the son of Elishama, of the seed royal, came, and ten men with him, and smote Gedaliah, that he died, and the Jews and the Chaldees that were with him at Mizpah.

26 And all the people, both small and great, and the captains of the armies, arose, and came to Egypt: for they were afraid of the Chaldees.

27 And it came to pass in the seven and thirtieth year of the captivity of Jehoiachin king of Judah, in the twelfth month,
on the seven and twentieth day of the month
, that Evil-merodach king of Babylon in the year that he began to reign did lift up the head of Jehoiachin king of Judah out of prison;

(25.27)
“On the seven and twentieth day of the month”
260 When was Jehoiachin released from prison?

28 And he spake kindly to him, and set his throne above the throne of the kings that were with him in Babylon;

29 And changed his prison garments: and he did eat bread continually before him all the days of his life.

30 And his allowance was a continual allowance given him of the king, a daily rate for every day, all the days of his life.

And he brought out the people that were in it, and cut them with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes. Even so dealt David with all the cities of the children of Ammon.
—
1 Chronicles 20.3

The first nine chapters of First Chronicles are good examples of the “endless genealogies” that the New Testament tells us to avoid (see
1 Timothy 1.4
and
Titus 3.9
). Wearisome as these chapters are, the rest of the book isn’t much better. Consequently, First Chronicles is probably the most boring book in the Bible—maybe the most boring book in all of literature.

First Chronicles covers the same material that is covered elsewhere in the Bible, adding a lot of contradictions while making it even more boring.

Highlights (such as they are):

• “Er … was evil in the sight of the LORD; and he slew him.”
  2.3
  
• The sons of Reuben made war with the Hagarites and “there fell down many slain, because the war was of God.”
  5.18-22
  
• “Saul … enquired not of the Lord: therefore he slew him.”
  10.13-14
  
• God kills Uzza for trying to keep the ark from falling.
  13.9-10
  
• “David therefore did as God commanded him: and they smote the host of the Philistines.”
  14.16
  
• David tortured or enslaved (depending on translation) all the inhabitants of several cities.
  20.3
  
• God kills a couple hundred thousand people because David had a census. (See
  2 Sam 24.1-15
  for a different version of this story.)
  21.1-14
  
• God repents. (It’s about time!)
  21.15
  

1
Adam, Sheth, Enosh
,

2
Kenan, Mahalaleel, Jered,

3
Henoch
, Methuselah, Lamech,

(1.1-3)
“Adam, Sheth, Enosh, Kenan, Mahalaleel, Jered, Henoch”
27 Was Enoch the sixth or the seventh from Adam?

4 Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.