The Skeptics Annotated Bible (364 page)

7 And when all the men of Israel that were in the valley saw that they fled, and that Saul and his sons were dead, then they forsook their cities, and fled: and the Philistines came and dwelt in them.

8 And it came to pass on the morrow, when the Philistines came to strip the slain, that they found Saul and his sons fallen in mount Gilboa.

9 And when they had stripped him, they took his head, and his armour, and sent into the land of the Philistines round about, to carry tidings unto their idols, and to the people.

10 And they put his armour in the house of their gods, and fastened his head in the temple of Dagon.

11 And when all Jabesh-gilead heard all that the Philistines had done to Saul,

12 They arose, all the valiant men, and took away the body of Saul, and the bodies of his sons, and brought them to Jabesh, and buried their bones under the oak in Jabesh, and fasted seven days.

13 So
Saul
died for his transgression which he committed against the LORD, even against the word of the LORD, which he kept not, and also for asking counsel of one that had a familiar spirit, to enquire of it;

14 And
enquired not of the LORD: therefore he slew him
, and turned the kingdom unto David the son of Jesse.

(10.13-14) “Saul … enquired not of the LORD: therefore he slew him.”
195 Did Saul enquire of the Lord?
197 How did Saul die?
God’s 73rd Killing

11
Then all Israel gathered themselves to David unto Hebron, saying, Behold, we are thy bone and thy flesh.

2 And moreover in time past, even when Saul was king, thou wast he that leddest out and broughtest in Israel: and the LORD thy God said unto thee, Thou shalt feed my people Israel, and thou shalt be ruler over my people Israel.

3 Therefore came all the elders of Israel to the king to Hebron; and David made a covenant with them in Hebron before the LORD; and they anointed David king over Israel, according to the word of the LORD by Samuel.

4 And David and all Israel went to Jerusalem, which is Jebus; where the Jebusites were, the inhabitants of the land.

5 And the inhabitants of Jebus said to David, Thou shalt not come hither. Nevertheless David took the castle of Zion, which is the city of David.

6 And
David said, Whosoever smiteth the Jebusites first shall be chief and captain
. So Joab the son of Zeruiah went first up, and was chief.

(11.6)
“David said, Whosoever smiteth the Jebusites first shall be chief and captain.”

7 And David dwelt in the castle; therefore they called it the city of David.

8 And he built the city round about, even from Millo round about: and Joab repaired the rest of the city.

9
So
David waxed greater and greater: for the LORD of hosts was with him.

(11.9)
“David waxed greater and greater: for the LORD of hosts was with him.”
It would be hard to find a more disgusting character in all fiction than David, but “the Lord of hosts was with him.”

10 These also are the chief of the mighty men whom David had, who strengthened themselves with him in his kingdom, and with all Israel, to make him king, according to the word of the LORD concerning Israel.

11 And this is the number of the mighty men whom David had;
Jashobeam
, an Hachmonite,
the chief of the captains: he lifted up his spear against three hundred slain by him at one time.

(11.11) “Jashobeam … the chief of the captains: he lifted up his spear against three hundred slain by him at one time.” The chief of David’s captains killed with his own spear 300 guys at one time—or was it 800 like it says in 2 Samuel 23.8?
211 How many men did the chief of David’s captains kill?
God’s 84th Killing

12 And after him was
Eleazar the son of Dodo
, the Ahohite, who was
one of the three mighties.

13 He was with David at Pas-dammim, and there the Philistines were gathered together to battle, where was a parcel of ground full of barley; and the people fled from before the Philistines.

14 And they set themselves in the midst of that parcel, and delivered it, and
slew the Philistines; and the LORD saved them by a great deliverance.

(11.12-14)
“Eleazar the son of Dodo … one of the three mighties … slew the Philistines; and the LORD saved them by a great deliverance.”