The Skeptics Annotated Bible (566 page)

27 Saying to a stock, Thou art my father; and to a stone, Thou hast brought me forth: for they have turned their back unto me, and not their face: but in the time of their trouble they will say, Arise, and save us.

28 But where are thy gods that thou hast made thee? let them arise, if they can save thee in the time of thy trouble: for according to the number of thy cities are thy gods, O Judah.

29 Wherefore will ye plead with me? ye all have transgressed against me, saith the LORD.

30
In vain have I smitten your children
; they received no correction: your own sword hath devoured your prophets, like a destroying lion.

(2.30)
“In vain have I smitten your children.”

31 O generation, see ye the word of the LORD. Have I been a wilderness unto Israel? a land of darkness? wherefore say my people, We are lords; we will come no more unto thee?

32
Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire?
yet my people have forgotten me days without number.

(2.32)
“Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire?”
(Women think only about their clothes.)

33 Why trimmest thou thy way to seek love? therefore hast thou also taught the wicked ones thy ways.

34 Also in thy skirts is found the blood of the souls of the poor innocents: I have not found it by secret search, but upon all these.

35 Yet thou sayest, Because I am innocent, surely his anger shall turn from me. Behold, I will plead with thee, because thou sayest, I have not sinned.

36 Why gaddest thou about so much to change thy way? thou also shalt be ashamed of Egypt, as thou wast ashamed of Assyria.

37 Yea, thou shalt go forth from him, and thine hands upon thine head: for the LORD hath rejected thy confidences, and thou shalt not prosper in them.

(3.1-13) Foul, nasty, misogynistic messages from God.

3
They say,
If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man’s, shall he return unto her again?
shall not that land be greatly polluted? but
thou hast played the harlot with many lovers
; yet return again to me, saith the LORD.

(3.1a)
“If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man’s, shall he return unto her again?”
A divorced woman is “polluted” when she remarries. The man, of course, remains perfectly clean through it all, even though he was the one who “put her away” in the first place.

(3.1b)
“Thou hast played the harlot with many lovers.
”

2 Lift up thine eyes unto the high places, and
see where thou hast not been lien with. In the ways hast thou sat for them
, as the Arabian in the wilderness;
and thou hast polluted the land with thy whoredoms
and with thy wickedness.

(3.2)
“See where thou hast not been lien with. In the ways hast thou sat for them … and thou hast polluted the land with thy whoredoms.
”

3 Therefore
the showers have been withholden, and there hath been no latter rain
; and
thou hadst a whore’s forehead
, thou refusedst to be ashamed.

(3.3a)
“The showers have been withholden, and there hath been no latter rain.”
Droughts are punishments from God.

(3.3b)
“Thou hadst a whore’s forehead.”
Jeremiah loves to insult people. His favorite insult is to call someone a whore.