The Skeptics Annotated Bible (792 page)

The end of the world will be signaled by many false Christs that will deceive many (6), wars and rumors of wars (7), earthquakes, famines, and “troubles.” And that’s just “the beginning of sorrows” (8).

Believers will be beaten (9), the gospel will be published in every nation (10), family members will betray each other (12), and believers will be hated by everyone. But don’t worry. If you make through all that, you will be saved (13).

When you see “the abomination of desolations,” go to the mountains (14). Don’t’ bother with clothes. (15-16) And God help you if you’re pregnant or nursing (17) or if the abomination shows up in winter (18). Trust me, it’s going to be hell out there (19).

There will be false Christs with signs and wonders trying to seduce you (22). But just remember, Jesus told you so (23). The sun and moon will be darkened (24) and the stars will fall to the ground (25). Then Jesus in all his glory will come down from the clouds (26).

Oh, and all these things will happen within the lifespan of Jesus’ contemporaries (30).

Or maybe not. Jesus was talking about things he knew nothing about (32).

4
Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign when all these things shall be fulfilled?

(13.4)
“Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign when all these things shall be fulfilled?”

5 And
Jesus
answering them
began to say, Take heed lest any man deceive you:

6
For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.

(13.5-6)
“Jesus … began to say, Take heed lest any man deceive you: For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.”

7 And
when ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars, be ye not troubled
: for such things must needs be; but
the end shall not be yet.

(13.7)
“When ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars, be ye not troubled … the end shall not be yet.”

8 For
nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be earthquakes in divers places, and there shall be famines and troubles: these are the beginnings of sorrows.

(13.8)
“Nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be earthquakes in divers places, and there shall be famines and troubles: these are the beginnings of sorrows.”

9 But take heed to yourselves: for they shall deliver you up to councils; and
in the synagogues ye shall be beaten: and ye shall be brought before rulers and kings for my sake
, for a testimony against them.

(13.9)
“In the synagogues ye shall be beaten: and ye shall be brought before rulers and kings for my sake.”

10 And
the gospel must first be published among all nations.

(13.10)
“The gospel must first be published among all nations.”

11 But when they shall lead you, and deliver you up, take no thought beforehand what ye shall speak, neither do ye premeditate: but whatsoever shall be given you in that hour, that speak ye: for it is not ye that speak, but the Holy Ghost.

12 Now the
brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against their parents, and shall cause them to be put to death.

(13.12)
“Brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against their parents, and shall cause them to be put to death.”

13 And
ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

(13.13)
“Ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.”

14 But
when ye shall see the abomination of desolation
, spoken of by Daniel the prophet,
standing where it ought not, (let him that readeth understand,) then let them that be in Judaea flee to the mountains:

(13.14)
“When ye shall see the abomination of desolation … standing where it ought not, (let him that readeth understand,) then let them that be in Judaea flee to the mountains.”

15 And let him that is on the housetop not go down into the house, neither enter therein, to take any thing out of his house:

16 And let him that is in the field not turn back again for to take up his garment.

17 But
woe to them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!

(13.17)
“Woe to them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!”

18 And pray ye that your flight be not in the winter.

19 For
in those days shall be affliction, such as was not from the beginning of the creation
which God created
unto this time, neither shall be.

(13.19)
“In those days shall be affliction, such as was not from the beginning of the creation … unto this time, neither shall be.”

20 And except that the Lord had shortened those days, no flesh should be saved: but for the elect’s sake, whom he hath chosen, he hath shortened the days.

21 And then
if any man shall say to you, Lo, here is Christ; or, lo, he is there; believe him not:

(13.21)
“If any man shall say to you, Lo, here is Christ; or, lo, he is there; believe him not.”

22 For
false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.

(13.22)
“False Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”

23 But take ye heed: behold, I have foretold you all things.

24 But in those days, after that tribulation,
the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light,

25
And the stars of heaven shall fall, and the powers that are in heaven shall be shaken
.

(13.24-25)
“The sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light. And the stars of heaven shall fall, and the powers that are in heaven shall be shaken.”

26
And then shall they see the Son of man coming in the clouds with great power and glory.

(13.26)
“And then shall they see the Son of man coming in the clouds with great power and glory.”
377 Will Jesus’ second coming be visible to all?

27 And then shall he send his angels, and shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from the uttermost part of the earth to the uttermost part of heaven.

28 Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When her branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is near:

29 So ye in like manner, when ye shall see these things come to pass, know that it is nigh, even at the doors.

30 Verily I say unto you, that
this generation shall not pass, till all these things be done.

(13.30)
“This generation shall not pass, till all these things be done.”

31
Heaven and earth shall pass away
: but my words shall not pass away.

(13.31)
“Heaven and earth shall pass away.”
147 Will the earth last forever?

32 But
of that day and that hour knoweth no man
, no, not the angels which are in heaven,
neither the Son
, but the Father.

(13.32)
“Of that day and that hour knoweth no man … neither the Son.”
346 Did Jesus know everything?

33 Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.

34 For the Son of man is as a man taking a far journey, who left his house, and gave authority to his servants, and to every man his work, and commanded the porter to watch.

35 Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even, or at midnight, or at the cockcrowing, or in the morning:

36 Lest coming suddenly he find you sleeping.

37 And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch.

14
After two days was the feast of the passover, and of unleavened bread: and the chief priests and the scribes sought how they might take him by craft, and put him to death.

2 But they said, Not on the feast day, lest there be an uproar of the people.

(14.3-7) Ointment for Jesus’ head is more important than helping the poor.

3 And being
in Bethany
in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at meat,
there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she brake the box, and poured it on his head.

(14.3)
“In Bethany … there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she brake the box, and poured it on his head.”

4 And there were
some
that had indignation within themselves, and
said, Why was this waste of the ointment made?

(14.4)
“Some … said, Why was this waste of the ointment made?”

5 For
it might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and have been given to the poor.
And they murmured against her.

(14.5)
“It might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and have been given to the poor.”

6 And
Jesus said, Let her alone
; why trouble ye her?
she hath wrought a good work on me.

(14.6)
“Jesus said, Let her alone … she hath wrought a good work on me.”

7
For ye have the poor with you always
, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good:
but me ye have not always.

(14.7)
“For ye have the poor with you always … but me ye have not always.”

8 She hath done what she could: she is come aforehand to anoint my body to the burying.

9 Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the whole world, this also that she hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial of her.