The Skeptics Annotated Bible (799 page)

1
Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us,

2 Even as they delivered them unto us, which from the beginning were eyewitnesses, and ministers of the word;

3 It seemed good to me also, having had perfect understanding of all things from the very first, to write unto thee in order, most excellent Theophilus,

4 That thou mightest know the certainty of those things, wherein thou hast been instructed.

5 There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judaea, a certain priest named
Zacharias
, of the course of Abia:
and his wife
was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was
Elisabeth
.

6 And they
were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.

(1.5-6)
“Zacharias … and his wife … Elisabeth … were both righteous before God walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
”
35 Has there ever been a righteous person?
430 Does righteousness come from following the Law?

(1.7-15) Zacharias and Elizabeth were both getting old, too old to have kids. But Zach prayed, so an angel appeared to tell him that God would take care of things for him. God would somehow get Liz pregnant and she’d have a son named John, who would be filled with the Holy Ghost from the moment God, the angel, the Holy Ghost, or Zach (or maybe all of them working together) got his mom pregnant.

7 And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years.

(1.7)
“They had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren.”
Oh God, another barren woman! It’s always the woman’s fault in the Bible.

8 And it came to pass, that while he executed the priest’s office before God in the order of his course,

9 According to the custom of the priest’s office, his lot was to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord.

10 And the whole multitude of the people were praying without at the time of incense.

11 And there appeared unto him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense.

(1.11)
“There appeared unto him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar.”

12 And when Zacharias saw him, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him.

13 But
the angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John.

(1.13)
“The angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John.”
Whoopie! Another miraculous birth! Did old Zach have sex with Elizabeth or did the angel take care of things for him?

14 And thou shalt have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth.

15 For
he shall be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink
; and
he shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother’s womb.

(1.15a)
“He shall be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink.”
71 Is it OK to drink alcohol?

(1.15b)
“He shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother’s womb.”
John the Baptist was “filled with the Holy Ghost” even as a fetus!
431 When was the Holy Ghost given?

16 And many of the children of Israel shall he turn to the Lord their God.

17 And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to
the wisdom of the just
; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.

(1.17)
“The wisdom of the just”
33 Has the ever been a just person?

(1.18-20) Zechariah asks the angel Gabriel how his wife could become pregnant, since she is “stricken with years.” Gabriel makes him “dumb” just for asking.