The Skeptics Annotated Bible (827 page)

29 But
the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all.

(17.29)
“The same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all.”

30 Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.

31 In that day, he which shall be upon the housetop, and his stuff in the house, let him not come down to take it away: and he that is in the field, let him likewise not return back.

32
Remember Lot’s wife.

(17.32)
“Remember Lot’s wife.”

33
Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.

(17.33)
“Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.”

34 I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.

35 Two women shall be grinding together; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

36 Two men shall be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

37 And they answered and said unto him, Where, Lord? And he said unto them, Wheresoever the body is, thither will the eagles be gathered together.

(18.1-6) The parable of the avenging, lazy, unjust judge (God).

18
And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;

2
Saying, There was
in a city
a judge
, which feared not God, neither regarded man:

(18.1-2)
“He spake a parable … Saying, There was … a judge.”

3 And
there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary.

(18.3) “There was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary.”

4
And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man;

5
Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.

(18.4-5) “And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.”

6 And
the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith.

(18.6)
“The Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith.”

7 And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them?

8 I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?

9 And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:

10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.

11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.

12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.

13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.

14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

15 And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them.

16 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

17 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.

(18.17) “Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.”
365 Is it good to be childish?

18 And a certain ruler asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?

19 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God.

(18.19)
“Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God.
” Apparently Jesus thought he was neither good nor God.
349 Is Jesus God?

20 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.

(18.20a)
“Thou knowest the commandments.”
But apparently Jesus didn’t, since he only named five of the Ten Commandments. (Notice that the five on Jesus’ list are the secular ones that make no mention of God.)

(18.20b)
“Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.”
366 What was Jesus’ sixth commandment?
109 To kill or not to kill
91 Is it OK to steal?

21 And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up.

22 Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.